Flake Help !

[Mysterio]

So I met this girl online, call her Fox ! we chat for a good hour or so she gives me her digits and says we should do something sometime, explained I was working would let her know when im free.

Next day she texts me we chat abit she calls me up before work and says we should definitely do something Sunday. So I told her I'd meet her at Starbucks for 2pm. We chat some more find out we got alot in common and she tells me shes gotta go her friends are waiting for her they were going out.

Sunday swings by She texts me at 11am to tell me exactly this.
Mysterio I have an unexpected turn of events today.Unfortunately im going to need to reschedule. im sorry :l

I wait about 20min and text back: It's K.

No msg from her for another few hours so at 3pm i decided to give her a call and ask if everything was ok she doesn't pick up so I left a msg saying
Hey, Fox.
Its aight **** happens in any case I took a ride up to see some family hope it wasn't anything too serious give me a call back aight have a nice day.


It's midnight no txt backs or call backs wondering if I should wait it out if so how long.

IE: I've been out the game for 5 years serving in the military,



Texted Back !!

So her texted me today.

Said that she was sorry she didn't get back to me something with the family.
I txted back saying that if she doesn't want to waste our time we could flush this.

She called me and stated that she has 2nd doubts about seeing me because I have a kid. I told her that I understood but that after flaking me like that last second she at least owes me a coffee and that she should get to know me.

Explained that I'm not looking for a mother for my child, I don't expect that at all just grab a coffee and if it clicks then so be it, If not well she could delete my number and forget about me either way she got nothing to lose.

She agreed i set the date and time for a night out on the town tomorrow.


So has the kid thing ever stopped you. If so why ? It's Not like I don't provide for my kid and I got a good relationship with his mother for his benefit.
If anything it shows responsibility.

 

[Willard]

After your last text you should have waited a few days then text her to make plans. When you called her later you probably blew it. If I were you I wouldn't contact her again for at least a week then just text her hi and see how she responds. Most likely this is a lost cause, but you never know.

 

[TheSlasher]

First of all, you shouldn't even have responded when she cancelled. Silence can speak volumes.

Since you've already replied to her, you've already paid her your most important asset in things like this - your attention. She's already got what she wants, she already know that you're into her, and she now feels validated. I would even go as far as to say that once she's had it, she doesn't need you anymore. Take it as a fact that women do this. Once things like this start to happen, always remember that they are only relevant to your daily life if you so choose. Just suck it up for now and know that you'll forget about her too. The feeling on the inside when executing this kind of move (or controlling not to respond at times) can be a little difficult to handle. But it's always better in all angles to withdraw your attention than giving the slightest of it and not getting anything but the agitation caused by such voids.

P.S. I admire that you have served for your country's military.

 

[Mysterio]

Well imma try to do like willard said. Have a feeling the call was too much.
we'll see what happens.


Also if I dont respond what do i do afterwards if she text nothing to me or if she does keep texting me.

 

[Willard]

If she texts you make plans. Until you meet her in person and see her a couple of times texting and talking on the phone other than making plans is an not necessary and is a waste of time.

Keep meeting new girls, this one might be good for a back burner girl, but probably nothing more. I had two online girls flake on me last week I said ok and deleted their numbers.

 

[El Payaso]

Lost cause, bro...

 

[Greasy Pig]

No counter offer means low interest.
She couldn't talk or text because her hands and mouth were on some dude's c0ck.
Wipe her and meet new women who respect your time.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Reality check: anytime a woman sends you a vague excuse for her cancelling, it's a B.S. excuse. Heck, anytime a woman sends you an excuse WITH a reason, it's probably a B.S. excuse - but to not give you a detailed reason at all? No bueno. Once she sent it to you, though, you were DONE. No need to send her a message saying you understand, or seeing if she's okay - trust me, she's okay because she's not going out with someone she doesn't like. On to the next...

 

[Kailex]

When you called her later you probably blew it.

The call later didn't help, but I am pretty sure before that point, she had already decided that she wasn't going to go out with him.

Personally, whenever some woman decides to do that to me, I don't even respond. The onus is on them to counter-offer. If they don't, I'll just assume low-interest and eject. Its pointless at that point to even consider the phone call after.

There wasn't even an explanation or the attempt of one... just an "unexpected turn of events". That's pretty much the laziest way to flake other than just not showing up at all.

I get the point of analyzing the phone call, but it was game over way before that. The phone call only further cemented his status as "flake-worthy" in her mind.

 

[Don-Kong]

None of us know what she flaked for. It could have been some tragic incident that she didnt want to say. Perhaps she didnt want to discuss it because she was embarassed.
Who knows?
Why take it personally. It seems like she seems genuine and it has nothing to do with you.

I wouldnt think about it anymore till you hear from her and if not then move on

 

[Mysterio]

So her texted me today.

Said that she was sorry she didn't get back to me something with the family.
I txted back saying that if she doesn't want to waste our time we could flush this.

She called me and stated that she has 2nd doubts about seeing me because I have a kid. I told her that I understood but that after flaking me like that last second she at least owes me a coffee and that she should get to know me.

Explained that I'm not looking for a mother for my child, I don't expect that at all just grab a coffee and if it clicks then so be it, If not well she could delete my number and forget about me either way she got nothing to lose.

She agreed i set the date and time for a night out on the town tomorrow.


So has the kid thing ever stopped you. If so why ? It's Not like I don't provide for my kid and I got a good relationship with his mother for his benefit.

 

[Kailex]

I have to agree with Espi... and I wouldn't doubt if she:

(A) Flakes on you again
(B) Does show up but doesn't spend too much time there
(C) Shows up and sabotages he meet

She says she has doubts. You then totally tried to qualify yourself to her. She has all the power right now and she probably isn't going to use it.

A lot of us advocate to avoid single mothers. For all we know, women might have forums out there where they advocate to avoid single fathers.

As soon as she said she had doubts because you had a kid, you should have just said "Goodbye", right then and there. Instead, you begged, clawed, and pleaded for a coffee date.

Live and learn.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Oh, u didn't mention in your pre-edited post that you had a kid! Yep, that changes the game, then.

Reality check #2: you're fooling yourself if you don't think you're NOT looking for a mother for your child. Because, even if that's not your intended goal, if it so happens to work out with you two and she starts feeling things for you, you'd eventually have to introduce her to your kid. THEN, if it works out even better and you two get married, she WILL, in fact, become a step-mom to your child. The woman, if she's smart, knows this going in, and she may be hesitant about having to take on that role in the future.

You ARE smart, though, in downplaying it for now since she won't have any say in raising your kid unless you two end up together long-term. Women are much more likely to take on another child as their own, but they have to (a) warm up to the idea, and (b) not have it be forced upon them. Let us know how the coffee date goes!