cptnapalm
New Member
For a first time post, I apologize for the length. While I've not left a comment here, this forum has been of benefit to me. While I don't have a work out regimen yet, I have started drinking a lot of protein shakes, eating more and doing some exercise for when I do, which should be before too long. While a lot of blogs have good stuff on particular topics, sosuave has good advice from many dedicated posters for the self-improvement of a man. Much gratitude to you all.
My predicament involves a much younger woman. She is 23. She contacted me on MySpace, of all things. Her initial message was just a “hey, do I know you from the coffee shop?”. Unfazed, I sent a one line reply, with a bit of humor, and expected that to be the end of it. It wasn't. We kept going back and forth. She offers to send me her number. I do not actually ask for it, but give her a list of caveats to keep in mind regarding phone usage (where I work has spotty coverage, my hearing took a beating from playing in bands, etc.) She replies by sending her number anyway.
This continues and she off handedly mentions that it might be easier to get to know each other in person. Problem was that I had some really bad teeth, which I had been saving up to get taken care of, but were still pretty bad. I tell her this. I also tell her that I'm making plans right now to get them fixed. I make an appointment with a reputable dentist in Mexico, book a flight and get prepped to go. This is all within 10 days of our first interaction.
Initially, I just did the banter because it was fun. She then had to go and indicate that she might actually have, are you ready for this?, character. As in, this might be an American-born non-privilege princess. All on her own, she told me about how much she respected her father because of all he had done for the family, all the work, and explicitly criticized her own mother for not being as supportive nor as appreciative as she ought to be. There were other things like this; none came from my enquiries, she just volunteered this stuff.
At any rate, I head to Mexico. By the way, Mexicans go all out for Valentine's Day. One coffee shop I found had free wifi and they gave me a little box of chocolates. The dentist stuff takes a week, but at the end of it my teeth are better than they have been in 15 years. She and I chat routinely, her telling me that she thinks about what our first date will be like. So I send a message to her, “Tuesday 9:00PM” and she is happy.
Most of the conversations are through text. I'm weak on the phone unless I know someone very well. On my end, I keep things light and fun and with barely disguised sexual innuendo. She responds very well to all of it.
One thing I know I have messed up on (and even knew it at the time) has been to be too available for too long. The conversations don't drag, but I know I should keep them shorter. One of those “I really like talking to her” problems. I do “disappear” for a day or two here and there, but when we do chat I am too available.
Anyhow, I get back and the Tuesday date comes around. She tells me more than once how nervous she is. She's quite shy in person, which she did tell me. I do try to build comfort and I think I succeeded. She's in for a relationship and I do like the idea with this one. I've not been in a relationship for a very long time since I can't stand talking to most women for very long because they drive me nuts with banal prattle. There is Disney kiss at the end of evening.
On Thursday, I sort of arrange a date for Friday, earlier in the day, but I don't actually specify. A planning screw up on my part. No excuses for that. Anyhow, come Friday I ask her what she's up to and she is heading home but she can change that. I tell her where I am and she says she'll be there shortly. This is all looking good, right?
She arrives and has already had lunch, so there went part of my pseudo-plan. I ask her about what she was up to and she says she's getting ready for her trip.
Trip? What trip?
To see some girl friends.
When is she leaving?
The next day.
stunned silence
Uh, how long is she going for?
A month.
Cereberal Cortex is not responding.
Uhhhhh...
When did she plan the trip?
Last week. Which is when I was still in Mexico and she was telling me how eager she was to see me.
We did hang out, talk and hit a bookstore, but I felt like I had a concussion so I was not my usual self. She apologizes for leaving for so long and she did, in fact, know how much the cost of changing her flights would be. Still... what the hell?
So she left on Saturday and I don't hear from her until Monday and that was mostly due to us being on Facebook at the same time. Of course, this was the second time we had been on Facebook at the same time, but I don't mention this. She's responsive, but she's obviously doing something else too as short replies take rather longer than they should. She hasn't texted me like she did before she left, whether I was local or abroad. No “hey!” messages nor anything else.
To any but the densest reader, it is apparent that I like this girl and she knows it. I have been far too free with indicators of interest. I've always kept the sexual interest I have obvious, so it doesn't devolve into a “buddy” conversation. I have been far too available.
“Oneitis” is the obvious diagnosis and to an extent I agree. There have been some other plates show up, however and I've been spinning as well as I can with those. The likelihood that things panning out with the girl I prefer are not great and I am trying to act accordingly.
However, I would like to give it a best shot, if the shot can still be taken despite my mistakes. I have had sex with several women since my teeth went bad and none of them inspired me to go get them fixed ASAP like this one has. Regardless of whether or not it works out, my life is better now than it was before I met her because I have been inspired to step up and get things done. So I would like any comments, recommendations or what have you about how to proceed with her so I don't mess up any more than I already have.
Thank you all.
My predicament involves a much younger woman. She is 23. She contacted me on MySpace, of all things. Her initial message was just a “hey, do I know you from the coffee shop?”. Unfazed, I sent a one line reply, with a bit of humor, and expected that to be the end of it. It wasn't. We kept going back and forth. She offers to send me her number. I do not actually ask for it, but give her a list of caveats to keep in mind regarding phone usage (where I work has spotty coverage, my hearing took a beating from playing in bands, etc.) She replies by sending her number anyway.
This continues and she off handedly mentions that it might be easier to get to know each other in person. Problem was that I had some really bad teeth, which I had been saving up to get taken care of, but were still pretty bad. I tell her this. I also tell her that I'm making plans right now to get them fixed. I make an appointment with a reputable dentist in Mexico, book a flight and get prepped to go. This is all within 10 days of our first interaction.
Initially, I just did the banter because it was fun. She then had to go and indicate that she might actually have, are you ready for this?, character. As in, this might be an American-born non-privilege princess. All on her own, she told me about how much she respected her father because of all he had done for the family, all the work, and explicitly criticized her own mother for not being as supportive nor as appreciative as she ought to be. There were other things like this; none came from my enquiries, she just volunteered this stuff.
At any rate, I head to Mexico. By the way, Mexicans go all out for Valentine's Day. One coffee shop I found had free wifi and they gave me a little box of chocolates. The dentist stuff takes a week, but at the end of it my teeth are better than they have been in 15 years. She and I chat routinely, her telling me that she thinks about what our first date will be like. So I send a message to her, “Tuesday 9:00PM” and she is happy.
Most of the conversations are through text. I'm weak on the phone unless I know someone very well. On my end, I keep things light and fun and with barely disguised sexual innuendo. She responds very well to all of it.
One thing I know I have messed up on (and even knew it at the time) has been to be too available for too long. The conversations don't drag, but I know I should keep them shorter. One of those “I really like talking to her” problems. I do “disappear” for a day or two here and there, but when we do chat I am too available.
Anyhow, I get back and the Tuesday date comes around. She tells me more than once how nervous she is. She's quite shy in person, which she did tell me. I do try to build comfort and I think I succeeded. She's in for a relationship and I do like the idea with this one. I've not been in a relationship for a very long time since I can't stand talking to most women for very long because they drive me nuts with banal prattle. There is Disney kiss at the end of evening.
On Thursday, I sort of arrange a date for Friday, earlier in the day, but I don't actually specify. A planning screw up on my part. No excuses for that. Anyhow, come Friday I ask her what she's up to and she is heading home but she can change that. I tell her where I am and she says she'll be there shortly. This is all looking good, right?
She arrives and has already had lunch, so there went part of my pseudo-plan. I ask her about what she was up to and she says she's getting ready for her trip.
Trip? What trip?
To see some girl friends.
When is she leaving?
The next day.
stunned silence
Uh, how long is she going for?
A month.
Cereberal Cortex is not responding.
Uhhhhh...
When did she plan the trip?
Last week. Which is when I was still in Mexico and she was telling me how eager she was to see me.
We did hang out, talk and hit a bookstore, but I felt like I had a concussion so I was not my usual self. She apologizes for leaving for so long and she did, in fact, know how much the cost of changing her flights would be. Still... what the hell?
So she left on Saturday and I don't hear from her until Monday and that was mostly due to us being on Facebook at the same time. Of course, this was the second time we had been on Facebook at the same time, but I don't mention this. She's responsive, but she's obviously doing something else too as short replies take rather longer than they should. She hasn't texted me like she did before she left, whether I was local or abroad. No “hey!” messages nor anything else.
To any but the densest reader, it is apparent that I like this girl and she knows it. I have been far too free with indicators of interest. I've always kept the sexual interest I have obvious, so it doesn't devolve into a “buddy” conversation. I have been far too available.
“Oneitis” is the obvious diagnosis and to an extent I agree. There have been some other plates show up, however and I've been spinning as well as I can with those. The likelihood that things panning out with the girl I prefer are not great and I am trying to act accordingly.
However, I would like to give it a best shot, if the shot can still be taken despite my mistakes. I have had sex with several women since my teeth went bad and none of them inspired me to go get them fixed ASAP like this one has. Regardless of whether or not it works out, my life is better now than it was before I met her because I have been inspired to step up and get things done. So I would like any comments, recommendations or what have you about how to proceed with her so I don't mess up any more than I already have.
Thank you all.
