First time poster, looking for some advice?

[Sl1ck_x]

Hey, been reading and doing some testing with the game for couple of years now. Made some improvement but nothing really serious, I just have a better mindset now then I did when I first got into college.

All I gotta say is that DJ bible is gold! I've read a few PUA books and scoured their forums but this site is a whole lot better in my opinion. No tricks or gimmicks being jammed down your throat. You guys seem to focus on trying to better someone than give them a routine to follow which I like. Because I believe every man needs to have his own style when it comes to attracting women.

I have so many questions for you guys but I can't really lump sum it all into one post so I might be posting them in new threads.

I don't have a problem with approaching women, when the setting is right. i.e. Bars, friends house, through mutual acquaintances, ect. I can't really do cold approaches, yet. (bookstores, grocery shopping, coffee shops) Even though those are the places where I would probably find better women.

I do have one question though about conversations I have been having with women recently.

When I first meet them, I'll introduce myself by saying "Hi, I'm so and so" and extend my hand. It usually goes one of three ways.

1. Worst case scenario is they give me this dead stare and turn away not even acknowledging me.

2. They reciprocate and then immediately turn away to talk to their friends.

3. They indulge me for a couple minutes and then excuse themselves politely, and walk away.

Most of these circumstances have been when I'm at a friends house, or my friend introduces me to his gf's friends.

I'm not overweight or super skinny, I'm 6ft, have had gf's in the past that were attractive so I'm not super ugly. My clothing is clean and presentable.

I am pretty introverted and don't really jump into conversations too often unless something has peaked my interest. I'm more reserved and aloof when hanging out with friends. But when it comes to girls, I usually will put on some charm and try to talk to them, because they peak my interest.

I just can't even get past the introductory phase with most.

I think it comes to one of two things.

1. I smoke cigarettes pretty heavily, so smelling like an ashtray is hindering my chances. (Even though I have friends who do and they still pull girls or have a gf) I'm trying to come up with a plan to quit.

or

2. My friends secretly talk **** about me to their gf's and their friends, alienating me from any chance of getting with them.

What do you guys think the problem is?

If you need more info let me know.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

I'm an introvert too.
It has it's downsides, but also a lot of positives.

Forget introducing yourself and shaking her hand.
Just start talking to her like she's some random person, about something going on in the area. Better yet, talk to some OTHER random person close by, and then bring her into the conversation. See her reaction, and ask her questions. Read up on body language and learn to read it. It will come naturally the more you practice.

SS has guys who approach girls all the time, but that is NOT normal to see in real life during everyday situations. If you are able to do it, you are better than 90% of guys. All it takes is practice.

I have a few examples, but one I always give because it's the one i'm most proud of, is when I met a girl in line at a store.
Everybody was miserable, waiting hella long, not speaking. There is a really cute girl there, just chilling. I'm shy, but I know I'll regret it if I don't at least try. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I started to someone else in line about some stupid pointless bullshlt. I was paying attention to my posture, and projecting confidence and the girl was paying attention to me.
She may have been interested simply because I look like God himself, but most likely it was because I was the most interesting person in line. I started talking to her about what was on TV, and then blab blah blah. We went out that same day.

TV works good, if there is something playing close by.
I know because I used the same thing today and got a girls number.

I was at the bank, funny enough, cashing a check for $60. Two weeks pay from job 1 of 3.
The TV was on mute and showing a news broadcast, "2013: A Lookback" or something. It was all footage of horrible stuff, like the Boston marathon, etc.
I commented on that, and a conversation started.

 

[Gunner26]

Nothing wrong with saying hi to start a conversation, just don't go into those interview type questions, what's your name, what do you do etc. It's boring, you want to try and be as fun/interesting as possible, especially in that first encounter. If she is interested she will offer her name to you in no time at all, as well as ask yours if you withheld it.

The advice from star is solid, I do it alot myself, talking to somebody else and bringing my target into the conversation, I also just start talking to them as if I already know them, especially if I've had a drink or two and am out in town. Play games, tease them early on, comment on an accessory/item of clothing it all builds towards a fun conversation that the girl wants to continue with.

If you stick to the boring questions, there is no incentive to keep the conversation going. The only one that really works is: do you come here often? and then tapering your next question to the answer she gives you.

Also have you ever tried bowing as well as shaking their hand? It's something I have done in the past, and it usually works a treat. I make it extravagant, and even kiss their hand and wink. It works mainly due to my style of confidence though as I'm a fairly cheeky, off the cuff sort of guy with alot of charisma, might not be to your taste.

Just my thoughts

Gunner

 

[Sl1ck_x]

I read up on alot of body language a couple years back but I could use a refresher. I use to know what to look out for in IOI's, i.e. hair/twirling/touching, kinoing, open/closed posture. I'm probably missing a whole bunch of others, it's been such a long time.

I also would like to work on my own projection of confidence using body language. If you guys have any links to articles that you think are awesome, please feel free to share.

It's hard to shift through all the crap out there, but if you have something you are really keen on let me know.

Currently watching Don Jon, trying to pick up on some cues from this movie. I like to watch James Bond movies, because I think he's a decent role model to mimic. Along with the Don Draper from Mad Men ... at least the first few seasons of it. That guy is truly a DJ.

 

[Gunner26]

I'm really interested in body language in general, not just it's applications towards attraction. All you really need to get started again is to look up body language in google and go from there. The best way to learn to read it is to watch everyone, go to a busy shopping centre sit down and just watch people.

Girls make their interest know in loads of different ways, but the trick with body language is looking for clusters, if a girl is twirling her hair, it doesn't mean she is attracted to you, however, if you see her doing that as well as her gazing at your lips frequently and making excuses to touch you, it's much more likely. Don't just look for one.

One thing I also find, that makes body language inappropriate is that, especially when you first start out trying to read it, you only see what you want to see. You see her feet pointed to you and think she must be interested, but you don't see that the rest of her body is facing away from you, her legs are in fact crossed, and she is looking around the room for another person to talk too. It's a slow process, one that I still haven't got the jist of yet haha.

Projecting confidence is fairly easy. Walk slower, yet with more purpose. Stand up straight and look ahead. Puff your chest out a bit. Take up space when you are seated with people. Those sorts of things. Look at how people you assume to be confident carry themselves, and incorporate facets of what they do into the way you do things.

Obviously James Bond is a don, however I would refrain from following him too strictly, after all his character is a work of fiction, and also the Daniel Craig films emasculate the character a fair bit. There was a thread a while back about Don Draper as well and how, while he was a Don on the outside he was really a chump, I can't find it though.

Hope this helps a bit.

Gunner

 

[GS750]

Watch some youtube vids of hank moody from californication. good example.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zorEMHb3o0Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJW4jIHTax8