First Time Messaging Someone I Stopped Seeing. Advice?

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

So I went out with this chick I met online maybe... 4 months ago? We actually worked in the same building at the time and she messaged me online saying her friend told her about me. We went out, she was a lot of fun, not too needy but a little bit. No sex but we made out several times.

2nd date, however, she told me mid date that she had to work in the morning and needed to get to sleep because she had work in the morning. I assumed she was not interested for whatever reason, on the next, so we got in my truck to take her home but then she started making out with me. She started dropping a lot of hints that she wanted sex, and when we got to her house we made out some more, but I wasn't feeling it because it's a **** move IMO to not tell someone you have to work early the next morning when scheduling a date, (She was a nurse and works 3 days a week, so I assumed she didn't work the next morning), so I left.

I called her about a week later, she didn't answer. Then almost another week later she texted me saying "someone from her past came back into her life". Maybe, true maybe a lie, whatever. However fast forward to last week and she showed up on a different dating site and checked my profile, so I assume she's single again because she had deleted her dating profile we met on after she texted me saying she was back with her ex.

Think I should message her, or should I wait a few more days? I was thinking something simple and direct. "Netflix and chill. Your place. Make sandwiches.". This is the first time I've ever attempted to go out with someone I stopped seeing. Any advice?

 

[Jetleg]

you won't see her again, you ****ed it up - you even wrote it your self.
you had the chance to put your **** in her *****, but you messed up, so now she is moving on to another c0ck (welcome tot he world of OLD)

you can text her all you want, but she already forgot about you - so should you.
she had probably sucked some **** when you called her...

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

I don't regret not sleeping with her one bit. If I just wanted to sleep with someone not interested in anything but sex I could go sleep with the MILF at work who won't leave me alone. But we did have a great first date and I'm willing to give her another chance.

Sure. Maybe she won't reply. So what? Every woman you talk to might not be interested. My question is simply this, in a scenario like this is it better to try and make small talk or skip straight to being direct and tell her we're going to meet up?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Just text her.

and that is a damned lie. You were just too scared to handle your business.

 

[dustmuffin]

I don't regret not sleeping with her one bit. If I just wanted to sleep with someone not interested in anything but sex I could go sleep with the MILF at work who won't leave me alone. But we did have a great first date and I'm willing to give her another chance.

Sure. Maybe she won't reply. So what? Every woman you talk to might not be interested. My question is simply this, in a scenario like this is it better to try and make small talk or skip straight to being direct and tell her we're going to meet up?

Just ask her out...Come over for dinner...see what happens

 

[Harry Wilmington]

2nd date, however, she told me mid date that she had to work in the morning and needed to get to sleep because she had work in the morning. I assumed she was not interested for whatever reason, on the next, so we got in my truck to take her home but then she started making out with me. She started dropping a lot of hints that she wanted sex, and when we got to her house we made out some more, but I wasn't feeling it because it's a **** move IMO to not tell someone you have to work early the next morning when scheduling a date, (She was a nurse and works 3 days a week, so I assumed she didn't work the next morning), so I left.

I nearly laughed my butt off at this.

Mostly because it reminded me of back in the day when women would send me signals indicating they wanted to do something and I either wouldn't read it, or - just like in this guys case - take the signal and read it as offensive. This girl said "I need to be at work in the morning and need to get sleep" and he got so offended by it, he didn't read what was ACTUALLY going on by way of the rest of her actions. If he hadn't been so in his head, what he would have seen was what she was REALLY saying:

"I like you, and I REALLY want to have sex with you. The problem, though, is that I have to get up early for work. I'm a responsible person and need to be to work on time... but, I also want to make time to have sex with you. This date is cutting into that time - so, if we go home NOW, we can have sex, both be happy, and I can get to work on time."

If anything, the "I have to be at work in the morning" excuse may or may not have been true. What WAS true, though, was in that moment she wanted you to bone her, and she came up with the best excuse she could. Not one that was the best in the world to go with, but you have to read what she says with the rest of her actions. If her words are saying "I need to go home" but her body language is saying "so we can have sex," you have to take ALL of it into account before getting all butt-hurt.

 

[Fitters]

One thing I learned is ..you are NEVER out of the game. With women all it takes is a little action or word to shift their emotion and have them chasing again.
Make this girl a side hobby , don't put too much expectations into , just have fun and see where it goes.

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

Just text her.

and that is a damned lie. You were just too scared to handle your business.

lol. What is there to be scared about? Sex is great, but there's a lot more to life than sex. If sex was all there was there wouldn't be so many unhappy marriages, they'd just have sex and magically be happy.

Not interested in having sex with a woman until she can at least prove she's stable and able to have a fun evening out together. Don't wanna end up like pretty much all the relationships in my family where people stay home almost every night and haven't been on a date together in months. As much as we'd all like to deny it, sex does effect men emotionally and it does alter your judgement. That's why is also so easy to give advice to someone else but not always as easy when you're the one in the situation.

However I will admit I probably overreacted a bit. Earlier this year one of my close friends had stood me up several times, kept getting upset when I wouldn't change up plans at the last minute, show up extremely late, and then threw a tantrum when I wouldn't make anymore plans with him. That kinda of behavior pisses me off quite a bit and I probably need to relax a little bit on it with people who've just had it happen once.

And yes I did text, her, she responded quickly, then went cold, then texting back apologizing her phone died lol. Gonna make her wait a little bit longer, then make plans with her.

 

[marmel75]

I don't regret not sleeping with her one bit. If I just wanted to sleep with someone not interested in anything but sex I could go sleep with the MILF at work who won't leave me alone. But we did have a great first date and I'm willing to give her another chance.

Sure. Maybe she won't reply. So what? Every woman you talk to might not be interested. My question is simply this, in a scenario like this is it better to try and make small talk or skip straight to being direct and tell her we're going to meet up?

The fact that you write "I'm willing to give her another chance" shows how clueless you are.

The woman wanted you to Fvck her, you didn't, then try and justify everything that happened after. Stop trying to justify what happened and admit you fvcked up.

Not banging women when they give you the chance leads women to thinking you are not a man, and they will not give YOU another chance. She doesn't want another chance, trust me...she wants a guy who likes fvcking.

Honestly the best way to handle a situation like this is to not put yourself in this situation in the first place. When a women gives you the green light to fvck, fvck her.

So you don't regret not banging her, but now you want to figure out how to get her to go out with you again? Dude c'mon. That doesn't even make sense.