Lord_Galth
Don Juan
I've been on this site for about a year, and I've realized the following: This site is not about getting women. Oh sure, you can find endless tips on specific patterns you can use or ways to start conversations / kino, but it will all be worthless if you miss the real purpose of this site. This site will NOT change the women around you, it will NOT change your ability to magically attract them (thats just a side effect). What this site will change is you. Yes, it is you that is most likely getting in the way of getting that ideal woman.
Allow me to explain... WOMEN WILL NOT MAKE YOUR LIFE GOOD. WOMEN ARE NOT THE ANSWER. SEX IS NOT THE MEANING OF LIFE. YOU ARE. Your life is your own, don't be so hasty (as many afc's are) to hand it over to someone else.
This can be expressed in three key first steps any new DJ needs to take. Getting women will follow from these.
1) Figure out what you want in life.
Yes, actually sit down with a pen and paper and write out some things you'd like to do before you die. Its a short life, and most of those things won't matter worth $hit after you die; everything mortals touch is doomed to their fate (depressing aint it?) so pick carefully. If you aren't certain what you want, other than a girl friend, then step back. Wait a few days. Contemplate. Live a bit, and figure it out. During this period of time, which can last a long time, don't be afraid to try out the other DJ techniques, but they won't be completely successfull until you start getting this. Why? Because I guarentee you women want a man who's going somewhere; who knows what he wants. This doesn't mean have an absolute plan for your life (no one can really have that) but at least have some goals, or some ambition.
Try to think through what you're good at. Think through what you enjoy doing. If you don't know either of those, then seriously sit down until you come up with something, or go ask people who know you what they think. Consider 2 MASSIVE, even IMPOSSIBLE things you'd like to see done in this world, and then figure out how you might do those. These goals should be independent of the word "woman" or "wife" unless one of them is "raise a family." We'll get to that later, and the fact that you're here says you already want women. No, I'm talking about what you want. What will keep you going? Do you want to be rich? I may not recommend that goal myself, but its a goal. What about going to college? Do you want to own a home? Live in the city? The burbs? On a farm? Do you want to own a boat? Go into politics? Play music / compose / paint / write? Program Computers? Fix the Universe? Think this stuff through, and then organize your life to getting it. Go after what you want. Not only is this masculine (and therefore attractive), but its WHAT YOU SHOULD REALLY BE DOING ANYWAY.
In other words, START CARING ABOUT YOUR LIFE. You get one, value it. This will have a number of key side effects that are crucial to DJ'ing
a) you'll be happier
b) you won't be afraid to turn a woman down (because you value your life)
c) you'll no longer fear.
d) you'll have more direction and more confidence
e) you'll have a good life regardless of women (THIS IS KEY).
2) After figuring that stuff out (or at least beginning to) become proactive in your social life.
This is the reverse side of the coin. Now we aren't talking about you, were talking about other people and how you relate to them.
Ask yourself the following questions:
1) what kind of people do i like?
2) are there people nearby me with similar interests?
3) what do I do for fun? (THIS IS KEY, if you can't answer this, do similar to 1 but with a slightly less long term feel, get some interests)
4) what kind of sense of humor do I have?
If you answered NONE or NOTHING to any of those questions, then perpare to spend some time here.
If you don't like any people, then congradulations, you're an introvert. This is fine; so am I; you can have a good social life and be an introvert at the same time. Here's the solution: learn to accept people's faults. Have mercy for crying out loud! So what if someone's shallow, do they make you laugh? Good, then they're worth hanging out with! The first key to relating to people is learning to understand them. This means finding the common ground. We've all got it... Once you find the common ground, try to figure out why a person might act the way they do. Sometimes those reasons will make you wretch, sometimes you'll find you'll be able to respect that other person. If they don't respect you, walk away.
Number 2 and 3 go together. Find out what your interests are, try to find a social aspect to them, and then find people who like similar things. For instance, like computers? Awesome... so do I... find someone else who does and build a computer together. Like hiking? Join a hiking group. Makes some FRIENDS.
If you lack a sense of humor, then find someone from numbers 1 2 and 3 and learn from them. Watch some standup comedy. Try to figure out what your attitude is suited for in terms of comedy. Are you the quiet type? Try cynical sarcasm. You the wild type? Try silly. You the brilliant type? Do something stupid --or-- witty. Learn from somoene, imitate them until you begin to develope your own humor. ASK people how they make jokes. 95% of it is in the timing, imitate that first.
So essentially.... IMPROVE YOUR LIFE. Once you start making genuine friends, you'll gain the following, again, all useful for getting women...
a) self confidence (having friends does help this, no matter what anyone says)
b) you'll be a better person (by mercy) and a smoother dj (by being able to understand women, and thereby what they really want)
c) you'll be happier (THIS IS ALWAYS THE KEY)
3) Ah, here's the real trick. So you've got goals / ambition, you're headed in the right direction, and you've got a social life... now use those two to get women. NOW try applying the DJ principles to your life. watch how successfull they are.
Women want a real man. A real man is confident, goal oriented, strong willed, etc etc (there are tons of GREAT posts on this in the DJ Bible). This third step is the LEAST important of the three. If you did the first 2 correctly, then women will be a bonus. Unless a family and / or life companion was one of your step 1 goals, women are superfluous, extra, unnecessary. YOU CANNOT BASE YOUR HAPPINESS ON WOMEN OR YOU WILL NEVER GET ONE. Respect yourself, ACT like it (step one and two) and others will begin to respect you.
Good luck! Hope this helps!
Allow me to explain... WOMEN WILL NOT MAKE YOUR LIFE GOOD. WOMEN ARE NOT THE ANSWER. SEX IS NOT THE MEANING OF LIFE. YOU ARE. Your life is your own, don't be so hasty (as many afc's are) to hand it over to someone else.
This can be expressed in three key first steps any new DJ needs to take. Getting women will follow from these.
1) Figure out what you want in life.
Yes, actually sit down with a pen and paper and write out some things you'd like to do before you die. Its a short life, and most of those things won't matter worth $hit after you die; everything mortals touch is doomed to their fate (depressing aint it?) so pick carefully. If you aren't certain what you want, other than a girl friend, then step back. Wait a few days. Contemplate. Live a bit, and figure it out. During this period of time, which can last a long time, don't be afraid to try out the other DJ techniques, but they won't be completely successfull until you start getting this. Why? Because I guarentee you women want a man who's going somewhere; who knows what he wants. This doesn't mean have an absolute plan for your life (no one can really have that) but at least have some goals, or some ambition.
Try to think through what you're good at. Think through what you enjoy doing. If you don't know either of those, then seriously sit down until you come up with something, or go ask people who know you what they think. Consider 2 MASSIVE, even IMPOSSIBLE things you'd like to see done in this world, and then figure out how you might do those. These goals should be independent of the word "woman" or "wife" unless one of them is "raise a family." We'll get to that later, and the fact that you're here says you already want women. No, I'm talking about what you want. What will keep you going? Do you want to be rich? I may not recommend that goal myself, but its a goal. What about going to college? Do you want to own a home? Live in the city? The burbs? On a farm? Do you want to own a boat? Go into politics? Play music / compose / paint / write? Program Computers? Fix the Universe? Think this stuff through, and then organize your life to getting it. Go after what you want. Not only is this masculine (and therefore attractive), but its WHAT YOU SHOULD REALLY BE DOING ANYWAY.
In other words, START CARING ABOUT YOUR LIFE. You get one, value it. This will have a number of key side effects that are crucial to DJ'ing
a) you'll be happier
b) you won't be afraid to turn a woman down (because you value your life)
c) you'll no longer fear.
d) you'll have more direction and more confidence
e) you'll have a good life regardless of women (THIS IS KEY).
2) After figuring that stuff out (or at least beginning to) become proactive in your social life.
This is the reverse side of the coin. Now we aren't talking about you, were talking about other people and how you relate to them.
Ask yourself the following questions:
1) what kind of people do i like?
2) are there people nearby me with similar interests?
3) what do I do for fun? (THIS IS KEY, if you can't answer this, do similar to 1 but with a slightly less long term feel, get some interests)
4) what kind of sense of humor do I have?
If you answered NONE or NOTHING to any of those questions, then perpare to spend some time here.
If you don't like any people, then congradulations, you're an introvert. This is fine; so am I; you can have a good social life and be an introvert at the same time. Here's the solution: learn to accept people's faults. Have mercy for crying out loud! So what if someone's shallow, do they make you laugh? Good, then they're worth hanging out with! The first key to relating to people is learning to understand them. This means finding the common ground. We've all got it... Once you find the common ground, try to figure out why a person might act the way they do. Sometimes those reasons will make you wretch, sometimes you'll find you'll be able to respect that other person. If they don't respect you, walk away.
Number 2 and 3 go together. Find out what your interests are, try to find a social aspect to them, and then find people who like similar things. For instance, like computers? Awesome... so do I... find someone else who does and build a computer together. Like hiking? Join a hiking group. Makes some FRIENDS.
If you lack a sense of humor, then find someone from numbers 1 2 and 3 and learn from them. Watch some standup comedy. Try to figure out what your attitude is suited for in terms of comedy. Are you the quiet type? Try cynical sarcasm. You the wild type? Try silly. You the brilliant type? Do something stupid --or-- witty. Learn from somoene, imitate them until you begin to develope your own humor. ASK people how they make jokes. 95% of it is in the timing, imitate that first.
So essentially.... IMPROVE YOUR LIFE. Once you start making genuine friends, you'll gain the following, again, all useful for getting women...
a) self confidence (having friends does help this, no matter what anyone says)
b) you'll be a better person (by mercy) and a smoother dj (by being able to understand women, and thereby what they really want)
c) you'll be happier (THIS IS ALWAYS THE KEY)
3) Ah, here's the real trick. So you've got goals / ambition, you're headed in the right direction, and you've got a social life... now use those two to get women. NOW try applying the DJ principles to your life. watch how successfull they are.
Women want a real man. A real man is confident, goal oriented, strong willed, etc etc (there are tons of GREAT posts on this in the DJ Bible). This third step is the LEAST important of the three. If you did the first 2 correctly, then women will be a bonus. Unless a family and / or life companion was one of your step 1 goals, women are superfluous, extra, unnecessary. YOU CANNOT BASE YOUR HAPPINESS ON WOMEN OR YOU WILL NEVER GET ONE. Respect yourself, ACT like it (step one and two) and others will begin to respect you.
Good luck! Hope this helps!
