First post--- Opinions needed

[Thedss]

Hello guys. Have been lurking here for a bit, finally decided to post. I'll get right into it. I met this girl randomly last week after leaving a bar. I was by myself and she was with her friend. We seemed to "hit it off" and I got her number. This girl is sexy. Anyway, texted her the next day and that seemed to go well as well. After that I left town for a few days but then texted her when I got back.. also went well. Pics were exchanged, etc. After that I decided to officially ask her out. Asked her to go out on wednesday of this week.

At first she said, "Yes!!" but then 15 mins later she responded that she forgot that it was her friends birthday party that day, but can we switch it to the next day? ( thursday). I said sure, why not. I called her wednesday night before her party or whatever to confirm a time for thursday and what not. She said to call her thursday afternoon, she wasn't quite sure when she would be free but she gave a ballpark of around 5-6 pm. ANyway, I was stoked all day to meet up with her. Texted her at about 1 PM on thursday to set a time. I said, " alright lets meet at ___ at 6pm". About 5 minutes later she called me. I knew it was going to be bad news.

She said, "listen, last night when we went out for my friends birthday we lost one of our friends. Her phone is off and we have no idea where she is.. it is really scary and I dont know what to do.. but i can't hangout until I find her. I also got no sleep last night because of this". I responded basically, "that sucks I'm sorry to hear that. I hope everything is fine. If you find her and still want to go out later, let me know." Never heard from her the rest of hte day. I called her at night ( had a few drinks) and wanted to see if her friend was okay. She didn't answer. And thats where I am now. Was pretty bummed yesterday about it.. Any thoughts would be appreciated! How do you think I should proceed from here?

 

[foreverAFC]

she is not interested

lol @ asking about the "friend"

 

[Thedss]

how can you be so sure? could you elaborate?

 

[foreverAFC]

its all a bunch of nonsense man, if you stay on this forum long enough you will see a recurring theme with women who arent interested, judge nismo just posted a nice big thread talking about some of this and also theres a thread about women blowing you off, all these ridiculous excuses just indicate low interest, she may have initially liked the attention from you and liked being chased and mabye she was just looking for an ego boost, but either a woman wants to see you or she doesnt, the excuses are for you to take a hint

take a peek at nismo's thread
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=204816


take a look at the low interest thread aboput women blowing you off
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195556

 

[HighResurrection]

Yah Bro. She is lying. They don't want to tell you straight up that they are attention wh0res, not interested, etc. So they have to find some roundabout why to do it. Move on, find other chicks to game. Everything women say is some half truth bullshlt. Her friend was probable right next to her playing some peek a boo game.

 

[SpazzAttackk]

Ask her if her friend is single and that when they find her.. to hook you up.

Or just say you kidnapped her and she has to come rescue her from your bed.

Dont go with the latter, that could get sloppy

 

[Dan08]

Blowing you off man, but flip the script back on her and just go back one more time and say 'been thinking about not seeing you thursday and I think it's best if we don't meet up really as I've got other plans' and just leave it at that and go NC.

She'll be pissed likely but you've gone 1+ on her, while she bothered to blow you off with some bullsh!t excuse you had the balls to tell her to go f_ck herself effectively and get the power back.

 

[Thedss]

I asked some of my friends that are girls about this. some said she is blowing off, but the majority said no girl would make up that excuse for a blow off ( it is too much).. she just wouldn't have responded or something. I dont know. I think i'll wait a week and then CALL. Something i am learning is that texting is for pussies.

Thoughts?

 

[LongLostFriend]

How about the advice you have already been given?

Move on to other women (plural).

 

[Dan08]

Same as above poster, read what's already been said by the rest and follow it.

You seem to be set in what you want to do anyways, leads me to ask why create the thread in the first place?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Asked her to go out on wednesday of this week. At first she said, "Yes!!" but then 15 mins later she responded that she forgot that it was her friends birthday party that day, but can we switch it to the next day? (thursday). I said sure, why not. I called her wednesday night before her party or whatever to confirm a time for thursday and what not...

This was your first mistake: not carving out a time when the idea of Thursday was first mentioned. You never, ever do re-confirmation calls - if the girl is into you, she'll show up at the pre-stated time. Next time this happens and a girl goes "I can't do x day, how about y?," set up the time THEN.

She said to call her thursday afternoon, she wasn't quite sure when she would be free but she gave a ballpark of around 5-6 pm.

Your second mistake was accepting a "maybe" time. Never accept "maybe" dates - they either agree to a definite time or you ask her for an alternative date and time that she KNOWS she'll be able to go out with you without flaking.

You want to get into the habit of doing this because chicks WILL d*ck around and give you false hope by constantly spewing out "maybe" times - and it's not worth your time. I once talked to a girl online about meeting up and she said "well, maybe we can meet on Sunday..." I told her to pick a different day when she knows for sure she has nothing else going on. Her response: "Well, um, hmm, I'm not sure when I..." I just laughed and said "well, just let me know when you figured it out" and deleted her messages. Why? 'Cause I knew it wasn't going to happen - if they have high interest in you, they will find the time in their oh-so-busy schedule to fit you in.

She said, "listen, last night when we went out for my friends birthday we lost one of our friends. Her phone is off and we have no idea where she is.. it is really scary and I dont know what to do.. but i can't hangout until I find her. I also got no sleep last night because of this". I responded basically, "that sucks I'm sorry to hear that. I hope everything is fine. If you find her and still want to go out later, let me know."

The third mistake you made was coming off as insensitive. I'm going to assume what she's telling you is a lie. However, let's say it wasn't a lie. When you said what you said, what she heard was:

"Hey, sorry your best friend may be dead, but I still want my date. I'll just give you a half-assed 'hope things turn out well' comment so you'll think I'm sensitive, but assuming you find her, even if you're still feeling some emotional turmoil we should still go out right after you find her."

Regardless of if she was lying or not, this statement made you look bad. You would have been better off saying "oh really, she's missing? Sorry to hear about that - that's much more important, keep looking for her, and if there's anything I can do to help let me know," then hanging up.

So, how should you proceed from here? STOP CALLING HER AND TEXTING HER. Remember, the phone works both ways. And, unless she has Alzheimer's disease, she remembers who you are. Meaning: if she wanted to call you to go out, she would. You've already made the offer - if she's not calling you back when she said she would or making you jump through hoops to get a date time together, she's not interested.

Hope this helps!

 

[VladPatton]

Leave her alone, all that sounds fishy to me. When the hell did she become a CSI agent??? Give it at least a week before contact. My bet is, you won't hear from her that entire time.

Nickel's Worth of Free Advice:

NEVER ask girls about girls.