First post here, just wanted to say a bunch of ****

[The Rookie]

first off, ill list a bunch of **** which i got serious problems. hence why im here and dont gimme that grammar **** please, this aint english school. im here to make this a learning process of how to ****ing get my **** together which im trying to do.

23 yrs old
virgin IN RELATIONSHIPS
hearing impaired, my hearing sucks but i can hear with my hearing aid, 70-85% volume of what u hear, and about 20-30% clarity. sucks eh?
can speak perfectly fine.
previous life, was very self-conscious how i would NOT want to say what? excuse me, i didnt hear that in the first place...can u say it again etc etc when talking to girls. which happens ALL THE ****ING TIME!!!
never been on a 1on1 date to movies, dinner, parents house dinner etc. name it.
early life, there was no text technology, now there is.


heres the thing. that will probably surprise alot of u why im a virgin in relationships.

good-looking like ACTUALLY good-looking (naturally tanned, black hair, no body facial hair, only got the happy trails/armpit and of course ****ing hair on my damn head, 5'10 in height and 170 lbs. approx), i have medium self-esteem, medium ego generally.
ive always had the athletic body, always played all kinds of sports, hockey is my favorite. was never out of shape.
now working out 5-6 times a week getting into a much better shape. 40-50% to my real goal. good for me mentally and physically. keeps me sharp on the edge.
big ****...yea so what? chicks always stare down at my crotch and some of them mouth "big" and some of them pull the eek look and what not.
i get ALOT of attention from females, pretty much no matter how hot they are. but no action.
havent gotten laid in 2 yrs (srs)
im good at initiating eye contact very easily, making distance interest (can always make the women/girls eye **** me etc u know how the distance **** works)
but can NEVER close the deal. (like going up to a girl, and kissing her, god how pathetic is that? previous girls ive banged i just flat out asked when were alone where there wasnt anybody around as long she had her damn arms around me) i have balls...no really. i ****ing do alright? JUST except on that part. i can go up to a chick and initiate conversation as long my ****ing **** doesnt move, which in most of the time IT ****ING DOES. thus i cut off communication cuz of embarassment.
earlier previous life in elementary, gr 6-7 and high school, girls would always write notes and **** and their numbers but I NEVER call them, why? back then there wasnt any good cell technology, now has improved and i did NOT want my parents talking to them.) i never got a cell phone until maybe 2 yrs after high school, (buddies would always come to my place and chill, they either show up at the door, or call my parents see if its ok if they can come over.)
i was popular all my life pre-school-high school (never went to college/uni cuz i always thought it was bull**** as long u were smart, especially street smart which ive always been outside with buddies most of my life and knew the game and **** on the streets. and knew about the situation where if u get to know the right players u can get money easy and fast. as long u work hard. is which something im good at, i work hard, im not lazy i dont slack that kinda bull**** and i dont show up late either.)
im not this social reject kid...but im starting to because right now i have no job i got fired by somebody who would constantly lie at the boss about some bull**** stuff about me. and im barely surviving. i cant go out as much anymore due to money.

this came off a bodybuilding website where somebody linked this site for somebody i checked out...and it has a forum. so i registered and hoping somebody would point to my problems. the thing is i never have said this to any of my friends because i feel way too ashamed and embarassed. and afraid they wouldnt really understand me . but i got a few good friends, true...but not ready to say all those **** to them..and i wouldnt want to say some of it to them.

i know, holy ****ing ready comprehension!!!

so please help me out. im learning mr. nice guy isnt cutting it, im turning into a neutral, either nice or an *******. and its working so far but sadly i come up too strong and blow off the deal or i come close, and **** up the deal cuz im a *****. (not knowing what to say/do) im no pickup artist and ive read part of the game by neill strauss....meh it barely helped but no lay

 

[WC2]

It sounds to me like you're living too much in the past.

The greatest thing that happened to me was getting to college and creating my own identity and my own future.

From the way you're talking, it sounds like you believe in yourself, but the idea that you're a virgin is just holding you back.

If you walk around like you're a virgin, you'll get as much ass as a virgin.

If you walk around like an in demand man who can get any chick he wants, you'll come off as exactly that.

The question is, will you act upon it soon enough to prove that you really are in demand?

I'm not going to lie, it's a tough transition. More times than none, I've seen men just fall flat on their faces trying to make such a drastic transition.

But the light at the end of the tunnel is the fact that some of us have done it. And we aren't figments of the imagination, we are the real thing. Not the men who sit on here and brag of their accomplishments, but the men who have been through all this and realize what it takes. The men who are actually out there doing it now.

Lastly you need to be a little more specific on what you're doing with women now. How do you present yourself to others? How do you think women perceive you? How do your friends perceive you? It's not until you know these things that you'll be able to build something around to improve all of them.

 

[The Rookie]

It sounds to me like you're living too much in the past.

The greatest thing that happened to me was getting to college and creating my own identity and my own future.

From the way you're talking, it sounds like you believe in yourself, but the idea that you're a virgin is just holding you back.

If you walk around like you're a virgin, you'll get as much ass as a virgin.

If you walk around like an in demand man who can get any chick he wants, you'll come off as exactly that.

The question is, will you act upon it soon enough to prove that you really are in demand?

I'm not going to lie, it's a tough transition. More times than none, I've seen men just fall flat on their faces trying to make such a drastic transition.

But the light at the end of the tunnel is the fact that some of us have done it. And we aren't figments of the imagination, we are the real thing. Not the men who sit on here and brag of their accomplishments, but the men who have been through all this and realize what it takes. The men who are actually out there doing it now.

Lastly you need to be a little more specific on what you're doing with women now. How do you present yourself to others? How do you think women perceive you? How do your friends perceive you? It's not until you know these things that you'll be able to build something around to improve all of them.

**** man ure right....at times i dont walk confidently enough like im always somehow shifting as how i walk (i guess virgin back of my mind or some crap)
sometimes i just walk walk whatever i dont give a ****. but i dont want to come off as a ****y douche by the way he walks like he owns the world...but lol should i just do that? but how do u pull it off subtly and with confidence that isnt trying too hard?

i just present my self to others completely differently like the situation it varies. if im at the bus stop, some chick is eyeing me, and if shes attractive/****able enough lol ill do the same in return...then ill say something like what bus u getting on? she'll go like 1111 and if im taking a different bus ill say 1111 or same bus ill just say cool so am i . (but i feel that isnt enough like it sounds pathetic) then sometimes i say either so where u off to? (depending on the time and day) i either ask going to the beach? the mall? coming home from school? and try to make short convo here...but at times MANY times my **** starts moving (under a HUGEEEEEEEE dry spell...sexual frustration.) and i get really freaking embarassed. its pathetic i know then i go like ****...not good. and avoid eye contact looking at her. sometimes the girls/women go like ok....then they look down and they see why and either they go like wow...hes horny expression or ooh nice...and get a bit closer to me which is not helping. so i ***** out and avoid them. (i have a serious hard time continuing a conversation when my **** comes in play) and a few times how many times this happened when the chick shows me the door when that happens...im like all red and freeze with my **** trying to make a hole through my jeans/shorts.....(kill me now plz) i go the other way cuz i became too embarassed (how PATHETIC is that?) as for my buddies...well. if im with buddies and groups of girls, theres always gonna be drinking or blazing involved. and it helps me calmer. not blazing but drinking. blazing makes me more nervous. but drinking makes things alot easier and i can talk to the girls/women no problem...just some small talk and questions about whatever gets on subject..but i suck at closing a deal. like at this party. i told this chick after talking to her a bit, a few drinks later..i came up and said. would u be offended if i were to kiss u? shes like not saying anything and pretty much gives me the opening but theres a bunch of people around and i puss out.......happened in summer.. **** MAN!!! my buddies dont see me a problem talking to girls but they dont know how i approach them closing the deal cuz they always hear some word i say then they know i wanna **** this chick and they all leave the damn room while a bunch of other homos are around me. just minding their own **** (not my buddies if at a party for example) sometimes i get ****ing ****blocked!!! i just dont like the guy for the rest of the night and if he pisses me off again i will punch him. happened a few times. then again ruining my night of getting laid. i just dont know how to say the right words (REALLY I DONT) how to make a chick know im interested...and im trying two different ways, me closing the deal to get her to a room. (which i come up way too strong and get denied! WTF!?) or try to make a chick lead me to a room (which i totally suck at and totally ****ing oblivious not knowing how to do that right). and i have to say chicks im trying to get with are not 9-10's which i dont TRY to get with them, i just be friends mind my own **** and i attract them pretty good i can tell they are into me but they expect too much out of me (i tried in the past trying to **** them FAILED...WHY? bf sure..single...sure...) ..the chicks im trying to get now 6.5-7.5 mostly and always slutty looking or the type of innocent porno chick (again i watch too much ****ing porn) and i have to say they are freaking intimated with/at me at times cuz im damn good looking (sorry i had to say this but its true lol) ...i just come up too strong ....i know this for sure...i just dont know what to do anymore.

my buddies say u gotta relax, have a chill time, enter the scene like ure gonna have some fun NOT getting some *****. ease up the conversation. and chicks will fall on ur lap man. im like yea right, did that works but not fall on my lap literally but i got random girls/women talking/flirting with me...but the worst part when I KNOW those chicks, its over...they know me cuz they know i suck with women...HELPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[FairShake]

(never went to college/uni cuz i always thought it was bull**** as long u were smart, especially street smart which ive always been outside with buddies most of my life and knew the game and **** on the streets. and knew about the situation where if u get to know the right players u can get money easy and fast. as long u work hard. is which something im good at, i work hard, im not lazy i dont slack that kinda bull**** and i dont show up late either.)
im not this social reject kid...but im starting to because right now i have no job i got fired by somebody who would constantly lie at the boss about some bull**** stuff about me. and im barely surviving. i cant go out as much anymore due to money.

Think about this for a second. I don't like the term "street smarts" but if it's common sense you're talking about you should re-read this passage and apply a little common sense. People with college educations get fired alot less than those without. Playing the laws of averages here and that's usually pretty smart.

But that's just an aside. What I think you need is to find a nice girl. Maybe religious, maybe older, maybe nerdy, whatever. Find a good girl and practice having a real relationship where you spend time with her, give and take, and really build a connection. Maybe it goes somewhere and maybe it doesn't, but I think that you will develop some skills in interaction that you may be lacking because of self-confidence issues and personal issues. Look at who is available through your friends. A nice girl may not even care that you're unemployed (at first) and will really enjoy your time and company.

 

[The Rookie]

Think about this for a second. I don't like the term "street smarts" but if it's common sense you're talking about you should re-read this passage and apply a little common sense. People with college educations get fired alot less than those without. Playing the laws of averages here and that's usually pretty smart.

But that's just an aside. What I think you need is to find a nice girl. Maybe religious, maybe older, maybe nerdy, whatever. Find a good girl and practice having a real relationship where you spend time with her, give and take, and really build a connection. Maybe it goes somewhere and maybe it doesn't, but I think that you will develop some skills in interaction that you may be lacking because of self-confidence issues and personal issues. Look at who is available through your friends. A nice girl may not even care that you're unemployed (at first) and will really enjoy your time and company.

i have this one girl in mind, she went away for 2 months, i talked to her before and asked if we should go out for some coffee she said yes. i told her cool ill txt u sometime. when i texted her. she had to leave in the morning when i asked her if she wanted to go the next day when i was asking her. so she said we'll get together when i get back. and she gets back soon...so what do i say? i dont wanna say some lame **** like, welcome back, would u like to go out for some coffee? thats like asking twice. or some crap like that yeah im bad like that. what do i say? not to mention i dont know when excatly she'll get back, and im guessing i have to be the one to text...or maybe her if she remembers. but im pretty sure its me.

 

[WC2]

Alright, exactly.

You don't want to come off ****y to your friends or those who know you, however you want to transform yourself into that guy who can hookup with whoever he wants/is followed by everyone else.

Well the truth is, there is some sacrifice in changing yourself and the #1 sacrifice is to stop giving a sh!t what others think about you.

As long as you're not wronging your friends or family in any drastic manner, there's no reason to censor your behavior.

Think of it this way - When an Alpha Male scoops up a chick before any of his friends, do you view him as ****y? Maybe. Do chicks view him as ****y or confident? Maybe.

But isn't this what society immortalizes? They immortalize and man who is not afraid to ravish women, encounter and fend off other males. Survival of the fittest.

While your friends may see your actions as '****y', it's really just confidence. And they're really just envious that they didn't do it. Don't be fooled; guys get mad at other guys not because they are right, but because they are afraid. They are intimidated by the one who leads the crowd. Those friends who know this will follow you and try to improve themselves as well. Those who don't know this may mock you, but guaranteed they will follow you eventually.

As long as you're stuck in your little own world of what your friends think, you'll never break through to the outside where thousands of other men are getting all the women they want because they operate on a higher level where they simply just don't care if others care; they know that most this hatred is fueled by jealousy.

I used to get some really bad stares from dudes at the bar after they heard their GF or EX or whatever got down and dirty. The way I look at it, survival of the fittest. Of course I didn't know these girls were in LTR, but does that dude honestly want her after I've been in her?

Eventually these guys came around and shook my hand and learned that it's a rough world out there. They conceited that their girl was really just a sl00t after all and they'd broken through to a new level of understanding. And was I there to mock them? Hell no. I went through the same sh!t with my ex-slut GFs, etc.

Enough of the confidence talk; I think you get it.

Now onto your actual conversations with these chicks. First of all, don't give these girls the interview. An opening question is fine like what's your name or where are you heading. But after that, you need to grab a girl's attention.

Do you think a girl wants to be interviewed by you? Do you want to be interviewed by a girl?

Nope.

Does a girl want a few questions and something to make her laugh inbetween?

Yup.

Does a girl want you to ask her if it's 'alright to kiss her on the lips?'

Maybe. But she'd probably just rather you do it so she doesn't have to admit to it.

That's another thing. First moves are vital. If you don't make the first move, she definitely won't. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to; she just doesn't want to expose to you quite yet that she's considering it.

But if you grab her and kiss her before she knows it, she's affirming through her emotions that both she and you wanted it, so now it's okay.

Take the lead. Don't ask women if they want to do something, tell them you're going to do something and they should come.

As long as you walk around with some inquisitive look on your face, you're going to get inquisitive responses. However if you walk around with a look of confidence, people automatically trust your instincts more.

She says to herself "Well he looks like he knows what a good time is, so why not?"

You've got a lot of time to put into molding yourself into the person you want to be, don't get me wrong. But you may be surprised how quickly things turn around if you take a few general principles (f*ck the dudes on here who bring up specifics.. waste of time) and use them in your everyday life. The specifics will come naturally as you portray and act upon a new image of what you want yourself to be.

The key is to find the person in you that you never knew you had, without fear of being scrutinized by others.

After all, don't the best get scrutinized by everyone who's envious around them?

 

[everywomanshero]

I only had time to skin your post so Im not sure if I understand but dude if you're considering lifting weights to get girls, you really need to get a grip. There's nothing wrong with being in shape but if you get to the point of lifting weights because you think that's gonna help you get girls you've gotten off track

If you go fishing you won't always catch a big fish, especially if you don't have a lot of experience. You have to be a little persistent, sometimes a lot persistent. Over time you will find good local fishing spots. You must go out and fish. You will never learn by not fishing. My advice is donot major in the minors. Stick to fishing and see what happens. Don't focus on tiny details like hearing aids. People get so hung up on **** like race, hearing aids, type of car, that it takes over their thinking and then they get ****ty results forever.

 

[The Rookie]

Alright, exactly.

You don't want to come off ****y to your friends or those who know you, however you want to transform yourself into that guy who can hookup with whoever he wants/is followed by everyone else.

Well the truth is, there is some sacrifice in changing yourself and the #1 sacrifice is to stop giving a sh!t what others think about you.

As long as you're not wronging your friends or family in any drastic manner, there's no reason to censor your behavior.

Think of it this way - When an Alpha Male scoops up a chick before any of his friends, do you view him as ****y? Maybe. Do chicks view him as ****y or confident? Maybe.

But isn't this what society immortalizes? They immortalize and man who is not afraid to ravish women, encounter and fend off other males. Survival of the fittest.

While your friends may see your actions as '****y', it's really just confidence. And they're really just envious that they didn't do it. Don't be fooled; guys get mad at other guys not because they are right, but because they are afraid. They are intimidated by the one who leads the crowd. Those friends who know this will follow you and try to improve themselves as well. Those who don't know this may mock you, but guaranteed they will follow you eventually.

As long as you're stuck in your little own world of what your friends think, you'll never break through to the outside where thousands of other men are getting all the women they want because they operate on a higher level where they simply just don't care if others care; they know that most this hatred is fueled by jealousy.

I used to get some really bad stares from dudes at the bar after they heard their GF or EX or whatever got down and dirty. The way I look at it, survival of the fittest. Of course I didn't know these girls were in LTR, but does that dude honestly want her after I've been in her?

Eventually these guys came around and shook my hand and learned that it's a rough world out there. They conceited that their girl was really just a sl00t after all and they'd broken through to a new level of understanding. And was I there to mock them? Hell no. I went through the same sh!t with my ex-slut GFs, etc.

Enough of the confidence talk; I think you get it.

Now onto your actual conversations with these chicks. First of all, don't give these girls the interview. An opening question is fine like what's your name or where are you heading. But after that, you need to grab a girl's attention.

Do you think a girl wants to be interviewed by you? Do you want to be interviewed by a girl?

Nope.

Does a girl want a few questions and something to make her laugh inbetween?

Yup.

Does a girl want you to ask her if it's 'alright to kiss her on the lips?'

Maybe. But she'd probably just rather you do it so she doesn't have to admit to it.

That's another thing. First moves are vital. If you don't make the first move, she definitely won't. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to; she just doesn't want to expose to you quite yet that she's considering it.

But if you grab her and kiss her before she knows it, she's affirming through her emotions that both she and you wanted it, so now it's okay.

Take the lead. Don't ask women if they want to do something, tell them you're going to do something and they should come.

As long as you walk around with some inquisitive look on your face, you're going to get inquisitive responses. However if you walk around with a look of confidence, people automatically trust your instincts more.

She says to herself "Well he looks like he knows what a good time is, so why not?"

You've got a lot of time to put into molding yourself into the person you want to be, don't get me wrong. But you may be surprised how quickly things turn around if you take a few general principles (f*ck the dudes on here who bring up specifics.. waste of time) and use them in your everyday life. The specifics will come naturally as you portray and act upon a new image of what you want yourself to be.

The key is to find the person in you that you never knew you had, without fear of being scrutinized by others.

After all, don't the best get scrutinized by everyone who's envious around them?

yeah thats true...but its hard to find the right mindset and place that affect/effect around u.

how do i really go like, if the girl is giving me the "i wanna ****" u eye look, they alwasy do. but when at a party or a club, i just wanna go up to her and say nothing and kiss her on the ****ing lips!!! how the hell do i do that? i mean REALLY??

but what should i say something like? refer to my last post. since u said tell them, not ask. that should shorten her options and go with "OK!"

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

"i just wanna go up to her and say nothing and kiss her on the ****ing lips!!! how the hell do i do that? i mean REALLY??"

At a party or a club, it's easy. Go up to her, say "hi", smile. Lean into her, look into her eyes, and see if she is interested in kisssing you.

Ask if she wanna dance, and go dance with her. Dance close to her, and kiss her.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Dude if I am reading this right, you are talking to women and then you get wood and then you get embarassed and walk away for fear that they'll notice it.

You might want to wear tighty whiteys to keep it from showing much under those circumstances. Either that or you might want to masturbate just enough to keep it from intrusively introducing itself to your prospects.

 

[The Rookie]

Dude if I am reading this right, you are talking to women and then you get wood and then you get embarassed and walk away for fear that they'll notice it.

You might want to wear tighty whiteys to keep it from showing much under those circumstances. Either that or you might want to masturbate just enough to keep it from intrusively introducing itself to your prospects.

'dude i tried tighty whiteys, makes me way too uncomfortable. for instance its too ****ing around my **** and squeezes it.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

If I were in your position, I'd see myself as having only two options:

Find a way to stop getting an erection every time you talk to a hot girl,

or,

Keep them from seeing it (i.e. bite the bullet and wear tighty whiteys... trust me you'll get used to i).

I mean, do you see yourself as having any other options to address this problem??

 

[xdreamz]

wtf dude thats crazy u get an erection every time you talk to girls? now that's a serious problem.

 

[The Rookie]

wtf dude thats crazy u get an erection every time you talk to girls? now that's a serious problem.

only hot, slutty, attractive, ****able girls....

 

[Just a Shot Away]

only hot, slutty, attractive, ****able girls....

You could discreetly tuck it beforehand, or at least try to make sure you talk to these hot slutty girls while you're sitting down.

Oh, and never ask a girl if you can kiss her. That's pretty elementary stuff. Just gotta do it. Have you read the Bible yet? The link's at the bottom of the page, but I believe it's under construction atm. LOT of helpful stuff in there.