Lol. This is just flat out wrong. If you're living in the western world (and probably most everywhere else these days), you can pretty much assume that every girl you meet has fvcked a guy she just met/will fvck a guy she just met/or would be open to it in the right circumstances with the right guy. Sure, there might be extreme outliers based on religion or other hangups, but assuming that's the case here and that he's just forever lost access to a high value girl is how guys get played. And if she was they type of girl, she wouldn't have been comfortable chilling in his bed.
@nicksaiz65 Not a lot to go on here, but I'm going to just list the most common reasons stuff like this happens and you can figure out which applies to you (guessing it's probably a combo of #1, 2, and/or 3):
- You're coming across as boyfriend material: If you're on the boyfriend track, girls won't sleep with you as quickly since relationship-minded guys are more likely to bail on girls they think are too slvtty and are more likely to invest. If this is the case, you need to proactively disqualify yourself as being boyfriend material--i.e. be a little rough around the edges, talk about other girls, tell her things about yourself like you're a free-spirit or you don't like being tied down, downplay any status or material wealth you have, etc.
- You're not conveying enough sexual intent or nonjudgementalness: Kinda ties in with the above. But if you got her over on the pretext of just being a cool, social dude, then it's harder to transition to sleeping with her. College-aged girls are used to just hanging with dudes their age platonically. Or, if she goes to your school or is in your social circle, she may be worried about being judged. From the moment you meet a girl, you need to be working on conveying that you're a sexual guy and that you aren't judgemental--this can be introducing innuendo, casually talking about sex and relationships, proactively talking about how it's lame that all these guys think girls are these delicate creatures who don't have needs, etc., etc.
- She's tired of being pumped and dumped or just wants a relationship. If this is an online girl, then this is super common. Or it could just be that all her friends are getting in relationships and right now a relationship is more valuable to her then sex. The problem with this is that you're just a plug-and-play part of this equation and you could be pretty much any guy who falls for this. The way to avoid this is when you're talking to a girl, say things like, "You're not one of those girls who always has to have a boyfriend or whatever, are you?" or, again, disqualifying yourself as relationship material.
- You're not building enough comfort. Basically, girls won't sleep with you if they don't feel like they know you. You have to be demonstrating your personality and actively conveying it, moving the convo beyond the superficial across a wide variety of topics. She also has to trust that you're cool with her boundaries, so usually I'll be a little too bold earlier on in the interaction or tease a little too hard so that I can back off and demonstrate that I'm capable of 1.) crossing the line and 2.) respecting boundaries when I do.
- You're not qualifying her or making her feel special: Doubt this applies as much, since it's usually something that would come up after a kiss. But the flipside of all this, if you're coming across as a player type, is you need to let the girl know that you're not just sleeping with her because she's easy and available. I.e., if she tells you something about herself or you notice something you genuinely like about her, tell her.
- She's genuinely inexperienced, super traditional, or has hangups about sex. Again, unless you're experienced enough to know the difference, I'd just assume that no girl you meet is a Madonna unicorn. Sure, there are some girls out there who are inexperienced or super religious or whatever, but not many once you're out of high school--and a lot of girls will play this card to manipulate guys into overinvesting. Also, those girls would say something before she was in your bed lol. Or sometimes girls will try to shut things down because they're on their periods or haven't shaved their legs or whatever. But usually that's something that would come up after the kiss.
So there you have it lol. Personally, I next girls like this, but I'm also proactively making sure that I'm taking care of things on my end and I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment, so I don't get hung up on girls that are overly relationship-oriented. I also don't deal with manipulation, which is what a lot of this stuff boils down to, and I'd rather spend my time with girls who are genuine and are confident enough to go for what they want. BUT if you're still learning the ropes and you dropped the ball somewhere on your end or you just had fun hanging out with her, then there's no harm in hanging out with her again. Most guys are going on a handful of dates before things go anywhere, so it's not like that that's necessarily a bad thing
