First date: Movies or Action Date?

[jungleman pete]

Hey DJ's,

Theres a few girls that i'm getting ready to ask out. I see them once or twice a week, make them laugh, talk to them and they seem receptive. I know, I have been dragging my feet a bit!

But I just need some input on what to do on a first date. I know what your all going to say - "Action Date". I've been thinking about that and I have a few questions.

In my mind, for whatever reason, I think that going to the movies would be a pretty good first date. Although its not that popular around here, it seems to have a lot of advantages.

One, well, its the stock standard date. Girls know its a date. And i'm comfortable going to the movies.

Also, where else can you get to sit next to a chick in the dark and with any luck put some moves on her. She knows what your there for and so do you. Hopefully shes receptive, and if not, well theres a chance shes wasting your time.

But with an action first date, i'm thinking that it seems like your on your way to being friends. Friends play pool, friends go bowling. Friends dont try to make out with you at the movies. Well mine don't, anyway I'm comfortable going bowling, playing pool and all that.

I've only had a few dates in my time and they were of the "sit and drink coffee while she tells me about her ex boyfriends" variety. I was pretty AFC back then though.

So what did you DJ's find to be the most effective way of getting some on the first date? Stories or suggestions would be really great. I cant make up my mind at the moment!

Cheers guys

 

[golf299]

friends may go shoot pool together....but friends dont touch each other, rub against each other or flirt while shooting pool.

the action date is the best opportunity for you to bulid rapport with the girl and, get her comfortable with you and your touch and finally kiss her.

try going out with a girl you dont really know. take her to the movies. now shes in the dark with someone she really doesnt know. lay your moves on her and try to kiss her. let me know how that turns out.

 

[jungleman pete]

Good point.

But lets say that before you asked her out you've been talking and flirting for a few weeks. She gives all the buying signs and you ask her for her number. She says yes.

Then you call her up and ask her to come shoot some pool or go bowling. It just seems like a bit of a let down.

I would think with the movies you would have plenty of time to talk driving to the movies and waiting in line etc. Not too much time, but it can be hard to keep talking for a long time on a first date.

I definately wouldnt say that you should take some chick that you cold picked up to the movies. It probably wouldnt work.

But people have been going to the movies for first dates for ages.

I have very little experience in this matter though

 

[Billydee]

It isn't a letdown if you are C/F and do the kino pretty heavy.

 

[jungleman pete]

But what if she already knows how to play pool. Makes it tough for kino.

If you go bowling and you try to show her how to bowl you'll probably cop a 10 pounder right where you dont want it

It just seems like there are tons of opportunitys for a screw up on a first time action date. She could kick your a** in pool or whatever, the conversation may go south just because you arent used to being around her. And your going to be looking at a lot of conversation time.

Then theres the matter of whos going to pay, just because its a action date doesnt mean that matters sorted.

You have to pay for most action dates, pool, bowling, paint ball etc.

I feel that you have tons of chances to be c&f and introduce kino on the way to and at the movies and then you can talk for ages about the movie afterwoods. If you saw most of it.

First dates are tough enough without having to tap dance for two hours making conversation about the weather.

 

[lerxst]

First, the whole "Date" angle puts un-needed pressure on things and all that "Dating" entails. A movie is a passive experience, and she'll be wondering how long it will take before/if ever you will start to grope her in the dark. You don't want her spending upwards of an hour and a half to two and half hours wondering about this. Also, you aren't building rapport with. Save that for when you two make it to comfortable couplehood.

For now, the Action Tryst is going to be your friend. These build mutual experiences to foster rapport. They are active, exciting experience. Pool and bowling are ok, but do you know enough about what interests her? If you think about things enough, use a little imagination and research your area you will find things to do.

Since you set on the traditional "Date" for this one, expect to pay, as that is the traditional role you've chosen.

Here's the thing about the conversations. Let her talk, and she will, on and on, just let her. And feed her conversation with active listening. Ask what, why, when, how questions to get her talking. If all you get are yes, no, maybe answers and that's it, you are in trouble and it's not working for her. So, research interesting things about where you are going and talk to her about that. And go read the DJ Bible, please.

 

[Chip]

Action date for sure.
I took my girl-friend to the shooting range on our "first date".
Don't think too much about it, you'll just end up tense.
Just hang out, do anything TOGETHER and spend time with her.

Hell, I got another girl by going grocery shopping with her.
And then we ended up at my place watching american pie, but we ended up making out.

Just take it calm and easy.

 

[jungleman pete]

Thanks guys.

I'd just like to make the right move for the first date, i dont want to mess up. The problem is I have been talking, flirting with them for a little while. I'd hate to make the wrong move and end up in the friend zone.

Conversations not the problem at all, but after two hours straight i run out of things to say to my best friend!

 

[Porky]

I went on the best date of my life last weekend. I met her at a mexican restaurant for lunch, then we walked back to my house. Plenty of talking, relaxed atmosphere. We watched a movie, but in actuality we just spent the whole time getting to know each other. I watched the movie again later since I'd missed it.

So, maybe nobody here agrees with me, but I'd say neither. Sit down with her where you can get to know her, or take a walk with her. Make her laugh. Stop thinking about how you'll have nothing to talk about. If she's into you and you belong together, the conversation will just...flow.
Trust me, you'll know what I mean.

After two hours I run out of things to say to my best friend too, but that's because I know him so well. You don't know any of these girls that well, so change that! Get them talking, and keep them talking.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Every first date I've been on, I take the girl somewhere action; bowling, pool, etc, and then afterwards go to a coffee shop or something where we have the chance to get to know each other better... and if things go really well.... back to one of our places.