FIRST DATE field report...feeling good about it

[The Comeback Kid]

I felt my phone vibrate during class today; I had received a text message. I saw it was from the girl I was set to go on a date with in about half an hour. In the past here at college (I'm currently a senior), I've been flaked on a bit. Close to date time in these cases, I had received "the text," as the girl would explain why she couldn't make the date for whatever reason. Today, I saw the text was from her. I rolled my eyes and clicked to see what it read. "We still having lunch at (the student union?). This first date - something I hadn't really been on in a long while - was going to happen! And btw, yes I replied that I'd see her soon.

Right on time, my date shows up. She explained that she got there a bit early, so she picked up her food already (she was holding it). Of course, I still had to get my food. She seemed happy to wait on the line with me as I picked up my lunch. After that, we eventually found a table and the real part of the lunch date began.

Things were starting off well. From the very beginning of this adventure today, our conversation was flowing great. It was non-stop both ways. Then, about 15-20 minutes in, I received a big sh!t test, though it wasn't from her. A guy advertising a paintball place came up to us and began talking. My date and I made eye contact, and she had the "What are we going to do?" look. I could have told the guy to buzz off, I could have quickly ignored him, or - worse - I could have lost my composure. Luckily, TCK was as cool as the other side of the pillow. I treated the salesmen as if he were one of my friends, setting up a nice chat we all had for a few minutes, as he explained his product. Once he left, we didn't lose a step. I was rolling.

From start to finish, we were talking and having a good time. Stunningly, there were no pauses or awkward silences the entire time from either side. We both got to know one another better, we were both cracking jokes or telling interesting stories, we talked about a wide range of topics, and I was able to apply a little bit of kino.

Since we both had class right after lunch, she checked her watch. I was stunned to learn how long we had been talking. I figured this date would last maybe an hour. We were approaching 1:30. I was stunned when I learned what time it was, I guess we really hit it off. We both left and walked together, as we were heading in the same direction anyway. I was surprised to learn that she had a "very tough" exam literally right after our date.

When we parted, we hugged (remember: first date/casual lunch date), both of us had a good time and I made a C&F comment at the end that made her laugh.

As you can tell, I had a great time and I feel she enjoyed herself too. She is home for this weekend (Fri-Sun) and I will be home the following weekend (Fri-Mon afternoon), so I figure we can set up a second date somewhere in the middle of the week when we both are free. I'll make the plans, though I still need to figure out where I'd take her - or for that matter, figure out what a second date usually involves.

Presuming this second date happens, whether it's bowling (expensive here, but w/e), dinner (I have a gift card to a cool place) or a movie (we have similar interests), it should be fun. Additionally, my goals would be to get closer to her and go for that first kiss. :flowers: Do you guys make anything of this FR? How many days after a first date do I call her to set up Date #2?

 

[The Educator]

You said you're in school still, why not take her to a party? Specifically one with dancing. Making out is pretty straightforward if she's already been grinding on you for 20 minutes.

 

[moneyisking]

Nice, way to go! That date went really smooth then? I am happy for you sir as DJ brother.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Educator - Parties are fun and I have a good time, but it's not a second date IMO. Our school isn't huge on parties, but we are both 21 and can go to a bar (just a FYI). Anyway, one of us is home each of the next two weekends; she is home now, I'm home next weekend. So a weekday date is in order.

MoneyisKing - Thanks. Of course I probably wasn't perfect (it was my first date in awhile), but overall, I felt pretty good about how the whole thing went. I figure I can call tomorrow evening? Yes, it's a Saturday, but it's also 2 days since the date. She's working all day today, and Sunday may be "not striking while the iron is hot." Any preference on bowling (a little pricey for bowling but fun)/dinner (I have a gift card t a cool place)/movie (we have similar tastes)? One of them should work.

 

[base2ball2boy2]

I'd do bowling. While you did do (what sounds) like a good job on the date, all you really did is talk. Now you should go out and do something- a good opportunity for kino, C/F, etc. She doesn't need another person to discuss her feelings with- she has lots of female friends for that. Girls wanna do stuff on dates, not just talk til the wee hours of the morning- remember, it's attraction before comfort.

Good luck- I'm positive you'll do well.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I'd do bowling. While you did do (what sounds) like a good job on the date, all you really did is talk. Now you should go out and do something- a good opportunity for kino, C/F, etc. She doesn't need another person to discuss her feelings with- she has lots of female friends for that. Girls wanna do stuff on dates, not just talk til the wee hours of the morning- remember, it's attraction before comfort.

Good luck- I'm positive you'll do well.

Definitely a good idea, I like bowling and it's an activity. The double-edged sword of the bowling is that the two bowling alleys near campus are REALLY NICE. It's not formal, but it's a lot more than your usual run-of-the-mill bowling alley. Perhaps the dating standards are a little higher for a nicer place like this?

 

[DJDamage]

Do you guys make anything of this FR?[/B]

If I could give you a grade, I would give you B- which is good but not great.

The reason is that although everything seemed good on the surface, I didn't like the fact that you scheduled things for lunch and at school which made things a bit more casual as opposed to scheduling things outside of university and at night where things are a bit more tense (for a good reason) and official.

Although you got some IOI's and laughter and a bit of kino you still haven't made a bigger leap towards a sexual territory.

And at last you ended the so called "date" with a hug and not a kiss closed, which again made things a bit more casual and relaxed that teeters on a friendship territory.

So all in all things went ok but not great but you haven't made any mistakes in my opinion that would make this girl not want to see you again. However by your second date, you need to step things up.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

If I could give you a grade, I would give you B- which is good but not great.

The reason is that although everything seemed good on the surface, I didn't like the fact that you scheduled things for lunch and at school which made things a bit more casual as opposed to scheduling things outside of university and at night where things are a bit more tense (for a good reason) and official.

Although you got some IOI's and laughter and a bit of kino you still haven't made a bigger leap towards a sexual territory.

And at last you ended the so called "date" with a hug and not a kiss closed, which again made things a bit more casual and relaxed that teeters on a friendship territory.

So all in all things went ok but not great but you haven't made any mistakes in my opinion that would make this girl not want to see you again. However by your second date, you need to step things up.

That's pretty fair. If I have one concern/sticking point when getting to know girls, it's that I'm not sexual enough.

On this date though, I'm not killing myself over it. It was meant to be a casual, middle-of-the-week-lunch date (think of it like a coffee date). We both had classes right afterwards (in her case, an exam). I only met her once before, and that was over three weeks ago. It definitely paid to get to know her better before going on a big night time date. What if we didn't mesh?

As for the second date, as you said DJDamage, I will be stepping things up. I will try to set up a bowling date in the evening/early night (again, it's during the week and we have classes) and take things from there. I will be aiming for that good night kiss though lol. I assume using more and more kino is the key to opening up sexually?

 

[DJDamage]

What if we didn't mesh? ?

Then you would have saved yourself from wasting time going on a second date. If the attraction is there, the girl is going to make an effort to make it mesh.

As for the second date, as you said DJDamage, I will be stepping things up. I will try to set up a bowling date in the evening/early night (again, it's during the week and we have classes) and take things from there. I will be aiming for that good night kiss though lol. I assume using more and more kino is the key to opening up sexually?

Yes more Kino is the way to go, I do not know if bowling is the way to go unless they serve alcoholic drinks there then things will be more exciting. Also you don't have to wait until the end of the night to go for a kiss.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I attend school in a city, so while there's a lot to do, there isn't much in the case of outdoors/active things to do, especially since the weather is beginning to creep down into the 30s.

I like bowling, she seems to like it too. The bowling alley I have chosen is pretty nice, it's not one of the normal dinky alleys that are all over lol. While it won't be sold-out packed, it's a nice atmosphere. Coincidentally, there is a bar on the floor below us.

Keep in mind it's in the middle of the week and we have classes, so we can't get too wild with the bar. Making this one was tricky...I could only make one day of the week and needed certain outside forces of fate to happen (i.e. certain teams losing in the playoffs and another team moving the date of a game) so the area wouldn't be mobbed.

I will need a pointer or two on this last thing though...how do you smoothly go about the kiss in the middle of the date? I can figure out the end of the date one, but in the middle? I've heard of it, just never tried it. Also, tips on being more sexual aside from kino could help too.

 

[DJDamage]

Keep in mind it's in the middle of the week and we have classes, so we can't get too wild with the bar.

You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. If you don't have exams the following day then have somebody take notes for you and you make up the missed work during the weekends.

When ever you go on a date there is always a strong possibility that you are going to go home with your date that very night (in fact that should be your goal! instead of following some bullsh1t 3 dates or more rule) so you ain't going to get much sleep anyways.

how do you smoothly go about the kiss in the middle of the date? I can figure out the end of the date one, but in the middle? I've heard of it, just never tried it. Also, tips on being more sexual aside from kino could help too.

Well since you are going bowling you can start asserting your sexual side by sitting right behind her (staring at her ass) when she bowls and playfully comment that from your viewpoint she has a very good form.

The way you act sexual is by using all your senses. First you have to act and talk in a confident manner because if you hesitate you will be seen as weak in her eyes. When you talk to her, look her in the eyes making sure your eyes convay that you want to fvck her (without looking like a stalker) if you do this right she will engage you right back with her own eye contact. Being C&F increases her attraction to you (once again you need to work on your C&F and you will know if you are doing it right if she either laughs at your jokes or playfully slaps your arm).

Once again when you kino a girl, make sure you do so with the at most confidence while gauging her interest in you. For example while Bowling you can start of by high fiving her each time you or her get a strike. Then you tell her instead of high fives you two are going to celebrate with a sideways ass bump. Then you tell her that the next time you get a strike, she needs to kiss you on the cheek (point to the cheek you want her to kiss). Then the next time you get all the pins down point to your other cheek and tell her she needs to kiss this one now, while gauging her reponse each time. If you get a positive responses to your request of her kissing your cheeks each time then there is no reason as to why she wouldn't kiss you on the lips on another strike (I hope you are a good bowler).

The most important thing to remember is to have fun. Remember you are not there to just play bowling but making sure you and her are having fun. Also it will be wise not to lose to a girl in bowling but even if you are good don't crush her completly. I would also suggest to have a predrinks before bowling and drinks after bowling.

Have fun and I hope you score big that night.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Thanks for the tips. I like the ideas, I'll try to mix and match them during the date. I was also thinking of "bets" (if I win, she buys me a drink, if I get two strikes in a row, she gives me a kiss, etc.).

I get the feeling that the girl is shy in a sexual sense. I know that some of you say, "nice girls are actually the freaks in bed" sorta thing, but I believe that she is a little shy about it in general. This can work with me, as I don't have much sexual experience...maybe me being the more sexual one at first can be a good thing!