duke007
Master Don Juan
Hello everyone, I just got back from my first ever date with a girl I mentioned in another thread "Desperate girls".
For those who didn't read it she emailed my friend looking for my contact details saying "I hope I didn't turn him off" while still on holidays. So you'd have to think IL was very high, and it seems from tonight she is insecure like I thought she was.
Anyway before the date I was far from nervous, I didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable when I went up to the door (in fact she opened before I knocked - maybe waiting intently by the window?)
And by the way, I remained cool, calm and collected despite the poor attitude of my pathetic family. For instance, my Dad saying "why the hell would you want to go out with a girl?....."what a waste of money..you're an idiot....blah blah blah". Bloody hell what a prick of an AFC, no wonder I began life with such low confidence like a chip off the old block.
So on to the date, while driving the conversation flowed smoothly, although while immersed in the talk I let my guard down a bit and my driving suffered a little. This was probably not ideal as it could have made me seem reckless, but anyway that's not really an AFC trait so it shouldn't have mattered.
I could tell she was insecure because she started talking about how her room-mates tend to ignore her, so I managed to change topic by mentioning off-hand about my friend's roommate troubles then moved on.
The date was bowling so we get in there, and she offers to pay for her bit - this was made easier because the guy at the desk said "$20 each thanks". I offered to pay the whole thing but she said no so I didn't insist.
The bowling was pretty fun and we were evenly matched for both games, winning one each (I haven't been for a long time and was a little rusty). I got in about 5 instances of kino including a quick massage of her little finger that was "sore from supporting the ball". The kino was welcomed but I didn't receive any back, except for when she playfully shoved me for teasing her. I did this a lot during the game like:
Me: I can easily see a spare resulting from this bowl
Her: *smiling* Shoosh, you'll jinx me!
Me: *grinning and nodding* That was the plan!
*Then the gate jams*
Me: You see, the gate is trying to jinx you too, the pressure's on!
This was all good although she wasn't being extra flirty with me like I'd expect when using so much C+F and kino.
After the games we change back into our shoes, I say how good she looked in the bowling shoes and that she should keep them on (she was saying how bad they were, a reverse neghit?
).
She mentions that she made sure not to wear holey socks, I say I put on my "name" socks (socks with your name on it, and four personal qualties, you can get them at novelty stores). She pokes fun saying it's something a little kid would wear, I hit back saying, "Well they say I'm comical and manly, and the name socks are never wrong..." This didn't lead onto any flirting which it really should have.
After this things started to go a little awry, not for the old me or any other AFC, but because of the high standards I set for myself. She was saying about how stupid gambling is and it's just a waste of time - indicates to me non-adventerous and "stick in the mud". I partially agree but everyone likes an occasional small bet!! We went walking along the promenade to find a coffee shop and chatted about stuff, and even though I was making it very playful, she wasn't quite joining in.
For instance, she revealed she hates coffee, and will only ever drink hot chocolate. So I used this as a great platform for playful but unrelenting teasing, but I don't think it had the desired effect.
An example is when we ordered, and they brought the drinks over, she started tasting it and said, "Hey, I think they got the drinks mixed up, this tastes like coffee." So then I offered her to taste mine, she did, and went "Ugh, that definitely isn't hot chocolate." So I said, "Hey wait a minute, you knew all along, you just wanted to get a taste of my coffee because you love it so much." (Or something like that). Result: No playful giggling, just "Nooooo I hate coffee". (not raising voice or anything though...)
Then I find out she won't eat seafood so I begin on that, "What about nice juicy eel?" And I'm definitely not being an arsehole about any of these things, she's not allergic or anything.
The conversation then gets on to "which one would you choose?" (after I asked what she'd rather do than suck down an oyster). Soon after I begin going through all the piercings asking if she'd ever get them but stop at tongue because she wasn't flirty enough.
Her: No way! That would be awful
Me (suggestively): You never know, it might feel good...
Her: (not playing along yet again!)
Then the conversation seems to pick up and it seems just friendly but nice (my eye contact was also top notch the whole night), then all of a sudden (after a high) she says, "OK shall we head off?" This was totally out of the blue! Who ends a nice chat like this?
So we chat some more walking to the car, then drive off. I got partially lost (which couldn't help), but hell I'm not exactly familiar with the path between the casino and her house!
In the car, there was this other topic of conversation that didn't go so great, with her being a country girl saying that grass doesn't necessarily have to be green, then I begin asking how can she like brown, burnt grass better than lush green gardens. Nothing offensive, just joking around...
So then I pull up at her house and stop the car, and reach over for a HUG without hesitation (she obviously didn't warrant a kiss). With my arm already on her shoulder, she sort of shrinks back and says "I don't feel comfortable kissing."
VERY uncomfortable!
I just didn't get phased and said with a smile, "All i want is a hug." She said "Sorry for making it awkward" and we hugged but I wasn't too happy. Not a happy camper!
So there it is, I don't know what is going on here. This girl seems extra sensitive and way too "good". I have no way of knowing if there is interest there or not, but she really should have appreciated the time I spent with her.
I was confident, natural, laid-back, intelligent, gentlemanly (opened doors), funny, did some kino, used C+F, teased and never whined. Who knows maybe I laid it on too much for a girl with her personality and it was intimidating. But in my opinion, I played my cards right and never said anything out of line (although one zany joke was not well received):
Me: (pulling into car park, smiling widely): "I've had problems with the pressure in my gas tank, so you're lucky we didn't explode!" (of course I'm kidding, had to thoroughly reassure her)
She is a 6 at the best of times and I'm being generous, I'm seriously doubting whether it's worth continuing. I should have been definitely more fun than a sensitive, agreeable, inoffensive nice-guy! Or maybe that's what a girl with low self-esteem needs?
Feedback would be great guys. And sorry this is so long, but it's only fair I share my first dating experience.
For those who didn't read it she emailed my friend looking for my contact details saying "I hope I didn't turn him off" while still on holidays. So you'd have to think IL was very high, and it seems from tonight she is insecure like I thought she was.
Anyway before the date I was far from nervous, I didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable when I went up to the door (in fact she opened before I knocked - maybe waiting intently by the window?)
And by the way, I remained cool, calm and collected despite the poor attitude of my pathetic family. For instance, my Dad saying "why the hell would you want to go out with a girl?....."what a waste of money..you're an idiot....blah blah blah". Bloody hell what a prick of an AFC, no wonder I began life with such low confidence like a chip off the old block.
So on to the date, while driving the conversation flowed smoothly, although while immersed in the talk I let my guard down a bit and my driving suffered a little. This was probably not ideal as it could have made me seem reckless, but anyway that's not really an AFC trait so it shouldn't have mattered.
I could tell she was insecure because she started talking about how her room-mates tend to ignore her, so I managed to change topic by mentioning off-hand about my friend's roommate troubles then moved on.
The date was bowling so we get in there, and she offers to pay for her bit - this was made easier because the guy at the desk said "$20 each thanks". I offered to pay the whole thing but she said no so I didn't insist.
The bowling was pretty fun and we were evenly matched for both games, winning one each (I haven't been for a long time and was a little rusty). I got in about 5 instances of kino including a quick massage of her little finger that was "sore from supporting the ball". The kino was welcomed but I didn't receive any back, except for when she playfully shoved me for teasing her. I did this a lot during the game like:
Me: I can easily see a spare resulting from this bowl
Her: *smiling* Shoosh, you'll jinx me!
Me: *grinning and nodding* That was the plan!
*Then the gate jams*
Me: You see, the gate is trying to jinx you too, the pressure's on!
This was all good although she wasn't being extra flirty with me like I'd expect when using so much C+F and kino.
After the games we change back into our shoes, I say how good she looked in the bowling shoes and that she should keep them on (she was saying how bad they were, a reverse neghit?
). She mentions that she made sure not to wear holey socks, I say I put on my "name" socks (socks with your name on it, and four personal qualties, you can get them at novelty stores). She pokes fun saying it's something a little kid would wear, I hit back saying, "Well they say I'm comical and manly, and the name socks are never wrong..." This didn't lead onto any flirting which it really should have.
After this things started to go a little awry, not for the old me or any other AFC, but because of the high standards I set for myself. She was saying about how stupid gambling is and it's just a waste of time - indicates to me non-adventerous and "stick in the mud". I partially agree but everyone likes an occasional small bet!! We went walking along the promenade to find a coffee shop and chatted about stuff, and even though I was making it very playful, she wasn't quite joining in.
For instance, she revealed she hates coffee, and will only ever drink hot chocolate. So I used this as a great platform for playful but unrelenting teasing, but I don't think it had the desired effect.
An example is when we ordered, and they brought the drinks over, she started tasting it and said, "Hey, I think they got the drinks mixed up, this tastes like coffee." So then I offered her to taste mine, she did, and went "Ugh, that definitely isn't hot chocolate." So I said, "Hey wait a minute, you knew all along, you just wanted to get a taste of my coffee because you love it so much." (Or something like that). Result: No playful giggling, just "Nooooo I hate coffee". (not raising voice or anything though...)
Then I find out she won't eat seafood so I begin on that, "What about nice juicy eel?" And I'm definitely not being an arsehole about any of these things, she's not allergic or anything.
The conversation then gets on to "which one would you choose?" (after I asked what she'd rather do than suck down an oyster). Soon after I begin going through all the piercings asking if she'd ever get them but stop at tongue because she wasn't flirty enough.
Her: No way! That would be awful
Me (suggestively): You never know, it might feel good...
Her: (not playing along yet again!)
Then the conversation seems to pick up and it seems just friendly but nice (my eye contact was also top notch the whole night), then all of a sudden (after a high) she says, "OK shall we head off?" This was totally out of the blue! Who ends a nice chat like this?
So we chat some more walking to the car, then drive off. I got partially lost (which couldn't help), but hell I'm not exactly familiar with the path between the casino and her house!
In the car, there was this other topic of conversation that didn't go so great, with her being a country girl saying that grass doesn't necessarily have to be green, then I begin asking how can she like brown, burnt grass better than lush green gardens. Nothing offensive, just joking around...
So then I pull up at her house and stop the car, and reach over for a HUG without hesitation (she obviously didn't warrant a kiss). With my arm already on her shoulder, she sort of shrinks back and says "I don't feel comfortable kissing."
VERY uncomfortable!
I just didn't get phased and said with a smile, "All i want is a hug." She said "Sorry for making it awkward" and we hugged but I wasn't too happy. Not a happy camper!
So there it is, I don't know what is going on here. This girl seems extra sensitive and way too "good". I have no way of knowing if there is interest there or not, but she really should have appreciated the time I spent with her.
I was confident, natural, laid-back, intelligent, gentlemanly (opened doors), funny, did some kino, used C+F, teased and never whined. Who knows maybe I laid it on too much for a girl with her personality and it was intimidating. But in my opinion, I played my cards right and never said anything out of line (although one zany joke was not well received):
Me: (pulling into car park, smiling widely): "I've had problems with the pressure in my gas tank, so you're lucky we didn't explode!" (of course I'm kidding, had to thoroughly reassure her)
She is a 6 at the best of times and I'm being generous, I'm seriously doubting whether it's worth continuing. I should have been definitely more fun than a sensitive, agreeable, inoffensive nice-guy! Or maybe that's what a girl with low self-esteem needs?
Feedback would be great guys. And sorry this is so long, but it's only fair I share my first dating experience.
