First date.. Confused by her post-date text and how I should have responded to it.

[Jeffst1980]

Your text was fine.

Honestly, I don't know why so many of you are afraid to compliment a woman on her looks. As long as it's not done in a needy fashion, it's extremely effective in setting a sexual frame. She needs to know that you find her attractive in order for you to escalate properly...otherwise, escalation gets real awkward.

I think she's a headcase, though. A girl with healthy self esteem wouldn't fish for compliments like that.

 

[Korrupt]

I think she's a headcase, though. A girl with healthy self esteem wouldn't fish for compliments like that.

You're probably right. More insecure texts last night and today..

"Hi baby. Where did you goooooo?" (when I didn't text back for some hours)
"Wanna kiss you."
"Would you kiss me?"
"Cause I wanna know if I'm attractive enough for you to want to kiss me."

(After I say we should see each other again next week - and yes she accepted)

"You wanna see me?"

 

[Zarky]

Caution: crazy ahead

 

[Korrupt]

She drunk called me twice last night at 2am. I didn't pick up, then she apologized for it this morning.

But on another note.. I originally had 4 dates set up this week. ALL have flaked. ALL 4 bullsh!tted me (at least to a point).

Wednesday cougar (my original Wednesday date) told me she was contacted by her insurance agent and her license was suspended. Possibly true and we re-scheduled for next Wednesday, but still a flake. Set up my date with the girl talked about in this topic instead.

Friday date said she was exhausted when I contacted her and would rather do something tonight (Saturday) but I already had plans so I told her I was busy and it would have to be next week.. Never heard back from her.

Saturday date (girl I had a date with already a couple weeks ago) said she isn't free and is waitressing tonight (so she lied to me). Number deleted. Texted the Friday girl some hours ago about doing something tonight and haven't heard back from her so I'm about to delete her number too.

Sunday date (just contacted to finalize it) said she promised her friend she would go to a party with her.. So she scheduled something else in place of our date. When I told her "too bad it woulda been fun" and to contact me sometime if she's interested in hanging out she replies with "oh sorry I thought you weren't up for it because I didn't hear from you all week." Number deleted.

Christ I hate these flakes. What a waste time..

 

[runner83]

Christ I hate these flakes. What a waste time..

Yes, it's all part of the process of weeding out women who aren't interested.

Best to have a process in place so you minimize any wasted effort on them ...which you seem to.

Keep at it.

 

[Jeffst1980]

She drunk called me twice last night at 2am. I didn't pick up, then she apologized for it this morning.

But on another note.. I originally had 4 dates set up this week. ALL have flaked. ALL 4 bullsh!tted me (at least to a point).

Wednesday cougar (my original Wednesday date) told me she was contacted by her insurance agent and her license was suspended. Possibly true and we re-scheduled for next Wednesday, but still a flake. Set up my date with the girl talked about in this topic instead.

Friday date said she was exhausted when I contacted her and would rather do something tonight (Saturday) but I already had plans so I told her I was busy and it would have to be next week.. Never heard back from her.

Saturday date (girl I had a date with already a couple weeks ago) said she isn't free and is waitressing tonight (so she lied to me). Number deleted. Texted the Friday girl some hours ago about doing something tonight and haven't heard back from her so I'm about to delete her number too.

Sunday date (just contacted to finalize it) said she promised her friend she would go to a party with her.. So she scheduled something else in place of our date. When I told her "too bad it woulda been fun" and to contact me sometime if she's interested in hanging out she replies with "oh sorry I thought you weren't up for it because I didn't hear from you all week." Number deleted.

Christ I hate these flakes. What a waste time..

None of these were technically FLAKES.
You are expecting them to make plans FOR you??
When it's a girl you've just met, they are NOT going to help you out at all. It's unfortunate, but the norm.. until you hook up with them.
Instead of deleting their numbers, why not just text them ALL to hang out at the same time, and go with the "best offer"? If one can't make it, no worries- just shoot her another text next week.

Bulk texting is the best thing technology has given the PUA. In a minute of your time, you can ask out 10 different girls without having endure phone awkwardness, etc. Sending one text a week to hang out isn't going to lower your value--even if it did, so what?? Only delete numbers of girls that are TRUE flakes (e.g. you are supposed to meet her and she never shows up, and doesn't return your texts).

Girls are BUSY. You are a stranger, and thus a low priority to them. Don't expect behavior consistent with high interest right off the bat!!

 

[Korrupt]

None of these were technically FLAKES.
You are expecting them to make plans FOR you??
When it's a girl you've just met, they are NOT going to help you out at all. It's unfortunate, but the norm.. until you hook up with them.
Instead of deleting their numbers, why not just text them ALL to hang out at the same time, and go with the "best offer"? If one can't make it, no worries- just shoot her another text next week.

Bulk texting is the best thing technology has given the PUA. In a minute of your time, you can ask out 10 different girls without having endure phone awkwardness, etc. Sending one text a week to hang out isn't going to lower your value--even if it did, so what?? Only delete numbers of girls that are TRUE flakes (e.g. you are supposed to meet her and she never shows up, and doesn't return your texts).

Girls are BUSY. You are a stranger, and thus a low priority to them. Don't expect behavior consistent with high interest right off the bat!!

I agree with "why should these girls give a f*ck about me? A stranger." But if I make plans with a chick and they fail to honor those plans I consider it a flake. I want to be treated the same as I treat other people. If I make plans, I WILL keep my word and I am not going to flake unless it's an emergency. Other than wasting my time and energy it's fine, though.. It just weeds out the uninterested and flaky girls from the interested and dependable chicks. I mean, one of the girls I mentioned straight up LIED and the other made other plans in place of ours without even contacting me. Obviously low interest/uninterested.

I'm not going to lie, most of the girls whose numbers I've gotten have been from online dating sites and I've gotten A LOT of numbers. Enough numbers so that if a girl flakes and doesn't seem interested I can easily forget about her and get in touch with the next one.

 

[f283000]

Girls are BUSY.

BS! They'll tell you they're busy..IF THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN YOU!

If a woman is interested in you she will move mountains to see you. Your strategy has value but it really depends on which way you want to go.

STRATEGY 1
Do you want to give women as many chances as possible, get flaked on constantly, lose a bit of your dignity, and be kept waiting as long as you get some pu$$y eventually...

OR

STRATEGY 2
Keep getting numbers, ask them out, weed out those that give you interest and those that don't (2 strike rules sort of thing).

I don't think what Korruptor did was wrong but what I wonder if he is building himself up with this women before asking them out.

 

[Zarky]

The general rule is, the one who cancels a date is responsible for setting the next one up. If she doesn't bother to do that, it's a next.

It does suck when chicks ain't interested. But you just keep getting out there and dating, because you never know when one is going to bone down on the first date. That tends to make you forget the others

 

[Korrupt]

Well back to the original girl, who's been texting me everyday and saying all this crazy sh!t. She contacted me this afternoon.. I had scheduled another meet with her for next Thursday, but when I was teasing her and *jokingly* brought it up she says "about that.. I may be going to New York early." I remain cool and tell her no problem, we can do something when she gets back or on Tuesday since I'm free. She asks me what I'd want to do so I tell her the plan and she responds with "I'll keep you updated." I didn't respond.

Gonna be honest, with all the flaking/cancelling going on lately it was hard for me to stop myself from calling her out. I also haven't felt that sh!tty, down feeling in a while but I'm starting to feel like it again because of all this bullsh*t.

 

[DonJuan11]

She contacted me this afternoon.. I had scheduled another meet with her for next Thursday, but when I was teasing her and *jokingly* brought it up she says "about that.. I may be going to New York early." I remain cool and tell her no problem, we can do something when she gets back or on Tuesday since I'm free.

She tells you she may be going to New York only AFTER you tell her you want to see her and spend time with her.

And then you respond with "No problem, you are absolutely free to spend time with her when she gets back?"

Come on bro, you got to be better than that. She's not respecting you and you're not even calling her on it. As soon as she says "I may be going to New York early" you have to call her on it so much so she regrets going. When you give in so easily, she knows she has you by the midsection.

 

[Zarky]

you have to call her on it so much so she regrets going.

ehm.. maybe.. but I never "call women out" on anything. I just dump em and date other women. If a chick flaked on me with a lame excuse, I'd just say, "Have a great time," and then I'd erase her number. If she ever gets in touch, then great, she can make it up to me, but I'm not going to bother with the drama of "calling her out." Seems like a pointless waste of energy.

 

[Korrupt]

The more I try to date, the more I NEVER want to get anywhere near a serious relationship. I have found only ONE girl EVER who didn't flake on me once after we made plans. Seriously, a girl whose number I had deleted hit me up earlier this week and said we should do something today. Well, she cancels saying her grandma had a stroke.. LMFAO! What f*cking bullsh*t. She didn't reciprocate a future time to meet up, so it's obviously a lie.

I got in touch with another chick today to hang out instead and she agrees ALL DAY until just a few minutes ago and says "I dunno about tonight." Holy f*ck.. Are there no dependable women in this damn world?

 

[Tiguere]

Call them. Stop being a texting bot. Create rapport through phone conversations.

 

[Zarky]

Are there no dependable women in this damn world?

At your age? No, there aren't. Women don't start really becoming mature until they're in their mid-30s.

 

[f283000]

Call them. Stop being a texting bot. Create rapport through phone conversations.

Can't believe it hasn't been mentioned before.

It's a powerful thing to get your voice implanted in a woman's head by talking to her rather than texting her.

When you text her you are just that a set of characters on a cell phone. When you call her you are human, you are real, not a piece of text on a phone screen. It makes you more attractive and more difficult for her to do you wrong. A voice to voice interaction builds a connection with a woman and it also puts pressure on her. You are not just text on a screen anymore. A text to text conversation really means nothing at all it's not human thus easier for her to just ignore and not feel anything for.

 

[konmai]

I agree with "why should these girls give a f*ck about me? A stranger." But if I make plans with a chick and they fail to honor those plans I consider it a flake. I want to be treated the same as I treat other people. *snip*
I'm not going to lie, most of the girls whose numbers I've gotten have been from online dating sites and I've gotten A LOT of numbers. Enough numbers so that if a girl flakes and doesn't seem interested I can easily forget about her and get in touch with the next one.

Seems sensible to me. :rockon:

 

[NoCommitments]

Call them. Stop being a texting bot. Create rapport through phone conversations.

BEST ADVICE SO FAR!

 

[Maximus Rex]

Stop texting.

 

[Korrupt]

Girl who I thought wasn't going to come over yesterday did.. Got laid.

Hung out today with the girl who I originally made this topic on. Had sex with her.. Sporadically... For like 10 minutes but I couldn't keep it hard because we drank two of those god damned 4-loko's and I was drunk. Probably just found the best reason not to ever drink.