First Approach, Got Blown Out, Hummiliated and Hurt

[Don'tWannabeAWannabe]

I discovered Pick Up earlier this year after I broke up with my ex. I didn't date for months except for 1 flaky girl who I quickly gave up on.

I don't know how to explain it. I "KNEW" Pick Up, but for some reason, I was always afraid to actually practice it. I would freeze up. My friends weren't very supportive either. They're actually worse than I am.

Then I met 1 guy who was really into it. We went sarging together a couple of times. We talked to a few girls, got a few numbers, and I actually met my just recent ex that way, but fell out of The Game again.

But me and my ex recently broke up a little over a month ago. My friend who was into sarging moved away in the fall and I'm on my own again.

It's amazing how easy it is to chicken out of making an approach if you're on your own and don't have any support. I have been going out to busy and trendy bars and clubs and stuff, just to be seen and put myself out there, but I would always panic and withdraw.

I finally brought myself to approach the first set I've done in months. It was a 3 set at a club. There was this one girl with long dangly earrings with clear red glass. I joked that when she stood still, the earrings made it look like she had a hickey, and I joked that I was like "There's no way she walked out tonight with that on her neck."

I then introduced myself, but when I introduced myself to the second girl, she just turned away. She wouldn't shake my hand or even say "hi," she just turned her back to me and started whispering in the third girl's ear.

I just tried to laugh it off and said "What, do I look like a psycho ex or something?" But the third girl was like "Oh no, you just remind us someone, but...forget about it." When I tried to prod her on as to who, she just said "Oh, it's nothing."

I didn't know what to do from that point on. I feel like I got off to a really bad start. How do you respond when someone just turns away from you and starts talking about you as if you're not even there?

I just said "good night" and walked away feeling embarrassed. I didn't talk to anyone else that night.

That was a week ago, and despite being out 3 times since then, I can't bring myself to talk to any other girls or sets.

 

[DJ_Tekinkel]

Hey man,
Don't take it to heart! You just need to change your perspective.

Remember the outcome shouldn't effect you.

Try another girl, doing nothing is losing!!!
You can blame yourself, but screw that, BLAME HER hahaha.
who knows, maybe she just broke up with someone, maybe shes a retard, who cares. Maybe they are super stuck up girls. If she was nice, she would have responded. Maybe they like to scissor. whatever haha!

You just filtered out one very unfun, snobby girl

Her loss.

Thats who you should percieve it! Just be cool, and say/exit with

" Oh wow you guys reminded ME of something tooo ! thanks and smile , wave. cartwheel away to the sunset".... dont cartwheel.

They'll wonder why you smiled, why your excited, why the hell you thanked them, why you seemed to not give a #hit how they acted and now your gone - to the next approach haha.

 

[Don'tWannabeAWannabe]

Hey man,
Don't take it to heart! You just need to change your perspective.

Remember the outcome shouldn't effect you.

I know it shouldn't. That's just it. I KNOW Pick Up. I just don't know how to implement it on my own.

I feel like someone who knows how to drive but doesn't have a car, know what I mean?

I know that I shouldn't be attached to the outcome. I know I shouldn't feel embarrassed about losing a set. But to be honest, I didn't feel to good about about myself after getting blown out. I didn't even get to try any of my material.

All I could think was "Wow, did I REALLY just NOT even make it past the opener?"

Try another girl, doing nothing is losing!!!
You can blame yourself, but screw that, BLAME HER hahaha.
who knows, maybe she just broke up with someone, maybe shes a retard, who cares. Maybe they are super stuck up girls. If she was nice, she would have responded. Maybe they like to scissor. whatever haha!

You just filtered out one very unfun, snobby girl

Her loss.

Thats who you should percieve it! Just be cool, and say/exit with

" Oh wow you guys reminded ME of something tooo ! thanks and smile , wave. cartwheel away to the sunset".... dont cartwheel.

They'll wonder why you smiled, why your excited, why the hell you thanked them, why you seemed to not give a #hit how they acted and now your gone - to the next approach haha.

Well, hindsight is 20/20. That's another one of my problems. I know how an interaction should have went, but only after the fact. It's so hard to think fast on your toes when you're in field. I've had attempts at jokes and wit fall flat and only draw blank faces before, and it's kind of a downer.

 

[DJ_Tekinkel]

I reckon the best cure is to go out there and try again man!

You seem to get it, you know you shouldn't care, but you do.

But if you dont ever try again, then thats the worst!

I recommend changing your perspective.
Its hard, but you need to do it!

Next time you go approach, you need to get yourself in the "State" until you get better.

Try this man! works a treat

I want you to talk to yourself in your head, before you step out that door to approach and scout, you need to change your perspective, how you percieve the world, and make it your reality. It's pretty easy

Do this

Pretend your james bond.
Your calculated, smooth, undetirrred and know what your doing. You walk confidently, your heads, up your loking around slowly, your aware of your environment and it means NOTHING to you.

You will force a (hidden smile) because you are happy being you, being alive. No one will really notice it, but you will feel it in your face. Trust me you will start feeling happier for no reason.

Now as you are walking down the street/mall i want you to make eyecontact, watch how the lesser beings look down, if they maintain eye contact you say Hi and smile, and keep walking. James bond style.

Nwo your a man on a mission, your in the right mindset, you will be feeling good
And guess what, this mind set is the SELECTOR mind set, so your ready to approach, your mind is set to WINNER, and you dont give a **** cause your the fukn prize!


Reason you try get into this state first, later itll become instant, then permanent.

You'll feel happier, confident, controlled
It sets you as the selector
If you get rejected they fail your CHOICE of them
your the prize, you move on undetirred.
They dont like you, THEIR LOSS

Your out, on a mission, to approach and rock it out.
so rock it out!

Mind is weak, game is weak. Get in the STATE and you'll have a much better aura, and your words and bodylanguage will be sharper. You will have a easy time with comebacks because you are in the attak state, the selecting state.

Not the APPROVAL state. which is your problem

:rockon:

 

[DJ_Tekinkel]

I just want to add, it'll be tough for now. I like to relate it to a Fighter! Think of it as "Conditioning"
Toughening up!

Example a Muay Thai warrior

He is just starting out, his knuckles are soft, his shins are weak. He kicks a bag lightly and his legs hurt, but he knows if he keeps doing this, slowly it wont hurt, soon he will be attacking the bag, with no pain, hitting it hard as possible, soon he will be able to kick a tree, until it cracks in half.

It takes a while, its rough, but he sees the light at the end the tunnel.
Same thing, just its emotion, your perception and how you take rejection. Soon it wont matter, whatever they think do does not affect how you feel.

 

[Jay Dee]

...I then introduced myself, but when I introduced myself to the second girl, she just turned away. She wouldn't shake my hand or even say "hi," she just turned her back to me and started whispering in the third girl's ear.

I just tried to laugh it off and said "What, do I look like a psycho ex or something?" But the third girl was like "Oh no, you just remind us someone, but...forget about it." When I tried to prod her on as to who, she just said "Oh, it's nothing."...

Gotta be quick with these things man - after she said forget about it, should have said 'yeah Brad Pitt, it's ok I get it all the time' and put a smirk on your face. Laughed at the shocked look on their face. Then continued. Next time eh

 

[Mike32ct]

We are all blown out from time to time. Don't take it personally. My guess is the girl was offended by the hickey neg comment, so her and her friends froze you out and denied anything was wrong.

I don't recommend opening with a neg. Some guys can pull that off successfully, but I know I can't. Im not naturally the playful ballbuster type, so what would happen is I would deliver the neg too seriously and offend the girl. Now, I either go direct with no negs or use a neutral opener. Once I'm comfortably in the conversation with her I can rib her a bit and it goes over much better.

 

[Pickupmilitia]

I just want to add, it'll be tough for now. I like to relate it to a Fighter! Think of it as "Conditioning"
Toughening up!

Example a Muay Thai warrior

He is just starting out, his knuckles are soft, his shins are weak. He kicks a bag lightly and his legs hurt, but he knows if he keeps doing this, slowly it wont hurt, soon he will be attacking the bag, with no pain, hitting it hard as possible, soon he will be able to kick a tree, until it cracks in half.

It takes a while, its rough, but he sees the light at the end the tunnel.
Same thing, just its emotion, your perception and how you take rejection. Soon it wont matter, whatever they think do does not affect how you feel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ffs_5DMJLw

Yea!

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Trying to figure out what she actually whispered to the other girl = fail

Worrying about whether or not they liked you = fail


Women, especially attractive ones, are way too much of an enigma to try and figure out so literally. You will never ever know what was actually said when one girl whispered to the other -- it could have been literally ten thousand different things, ranging from "OMG he's cute", to "who the hell is this random guy", to "do you see the booger dangling out of his nose?"

Try not to get caught up in who thinks what and why, and instead make yourself the best "catch" you can be, and go in guns blazing. Throw some sh!t at the wall and see what sticks... everything else isn't worth devoting any extra mental energy to.

 

[macallik]

Congrats. you aren't really IN the game until you get your first rejection, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get that next approach in. Here are some memorable rejections that have been accrued by fellow SoSuavers.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=128062&highlight=rejection
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18339&highlight=rejection
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=16725&highlight=rejection

You are not alone in rejection and the majority of girls will not do this to you. It just part of the game. Get back out there Rocky, lol

 

[thedude4242]

who cares, move to the next one. dont have much invested or put your heart into the woman. the quicker she acts like a ***** the quicker you can go get the next one.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Excellent job!

In the end, it is the failures of successful men that inspire others, not their success.

 

[drak_ool]

1. the way you got rejected was pretty mild. If you could not deal with that, buy yourself a mail bride right now (you can order her online, it s convenient) because the game is not for you. Seriously though, man up because what you described is nothing. There s much worse to come.

2. It's a numbers game. Do you seriously expect to walk into a bar, talk to the first girl that you see and take her home with you? I m not saying that cannot be done, however your mindset should really be focused on getting as many interactions as you can with women, regardless of the result.

Don t rely on night game exclusively. Start doing some day game, girls are less bytchy during the day when approached...

 

[YAboi]

I
I then introduced myself, but when I introduced myself to the second girl, she just turned away. She wouldn't shake my hand or even say "hi," she just turned her back to me and started whispering in the third girl's ear.

I just tried to laugh it off and said "What, do I look like a psycho ex or something?" But the third girl was like "Oh no, you just remind us someone, but...forget about it." When I tried to prod her on as to who, she just said "Oh, it's nothing."

I didn't know what to do from that point on. I feel like I got off to a really bad start. How do you respond when someone just turns away from you and starts talking about you as if you're not even there?

I just said "good night" and walked away feeling embarrassed. I didn't talk to anyone else that night.

That was a week ago, and despite being out 3 times since then, I can't bring myself to talk to any other girls or sets.

holy crap man , you did not get rejected. You rejected yourself. This exact situation happened to me only it was 2 girls not 3. In my case the girl turned her back to me and was whispering in her frends ear. i just assumed that they were amazed and in awe of /respected my guts and I cheekily smiled at the friend who was facing me.

I ended up getting a tight hug from the girl who had her back turned to me and who i initially approached. I squeezed her boobs into my chest but i was unenlightened then so i didn't go for the number close. The funny part is in my case i did not even acknowledge her friend until she turned her back to me and started whispering in her friends ear and i was forced to look in the face of her friend. They were both hb8s in case youre wondering.

Those girls must have been whispering about how much of a ridiculously confident guy with big balls you were for coming to chat with 3 babes at once but then you went and turned things logical instead of keepin the interaction playful by asking your question in a playful manner as opposed to being all defensive.The girl who turned her back to you was very insecure and shy of the guts you displayed and her snatch (pvssy) got wet so she was embarrassed and turned away.

In other words those girls sensed that they were in the presence of greatness and this elevated you to celebrity status in their eyes. But they were all confused and did not know how to deal with it. In this case, you would simply have to be a Man and lead things forward and even act ****ily to them as if you were their pimp daddy.

Maybe you should have just kept talking to the first girl and ignored the other 2 until the first girl got comfortable with you and the rest started to get awkward and either;

(a.) left you guys alone to talk

or

(b.) gave their friend the sign with their eyes saying that they were calm enough to be introduced to you now.

 

[nismo-4]

If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again.

Case closed.

 

[DJ_Tekinkel]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ffs_5DMJLw

Yea!

Wow pickupmilitia!! you foudnt he perfect clip to the analogy I was trying to get at hahahaha!!!!
:rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: