FINDING your passion(s) versus CHOOSING your passion(s)

[Virtú]

Most of the veterans of these boards have, at some point, discussed "passion" and how it is necessary for a man to find his, and to use it in order to accomplish things.

Unfortunately, I find the fact that one's passion(s) must be found more than a little disturbing, since this implies that a man has no control over what he is passionate about.

Since passion seems to be so important, this would appear to cut a man off from so much of life since he cannot choose to be passionate about something or make himself passionate about it.

Is this a misconception on my part?

Is there a way to not only harness passion but to harness it as I see fit? Am I stuck with the passion(s) that I have or can I make and unmake them as I choose?

If not, is there a way to not be inhibited by a lack of passion for something?

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

I waffle with this 1 as well, Virtu, and I'll give you some insights of my own. Because, frankly, nobody's posts are TRUE word of god type shyt.


_________________________


I used to think, "gee I must find my 1 true purpose in life," as if it were a manual handed to each person and mine was lost. I saw people, who I thought were happy doing things that seemed cool, but never really got it. However, a series of Epiphanies lead me to some discoveries...


I. Follow your gut.


My brother, who I use as an example alot did just what most guys would like to do, in an inadvertant way. He was a star athelete when he was younger, both in wrestling and baseball. After being slammed wrong in a match, his shoulder was cooked so bad he dropped sports altogether and followed what seemed his true calling, music.


For nearly a decade, he's been into music and has never been happier. He met awesome people, has a BS degree in Music Business and now performs locally, and will some day professionally as well. Anybody who knew my brother never knew this was possible. Sure he was a great person, but nobody knew he'd fall in love with music like that, nor imagine making it his MAJOR.


When he got involved, it was out of pure passion, and that's what drives him day in and day out. He "liked" the bass, so playing it each day was easy for him. It wasn't practice and never has been. He has no huge goal, yet, but loves playing and wants to make $$ doing (which he does now through lessons and shows).


Alot can be gained from just that 1 image. Most guys, myself included, do things which give alot of money to people, but those making the most don't see it as work b/c when they started, it wasn't out of a need to work anyways. It was out of some interest, and then it was found they could make money.


II. Buy the Book "Mastery" on Amazon.com


You begin to understand that life has its plateaus and its peaks, and a peak is pointed and short for a reason and the plateaus are long and flat for a reason. Life is this way, yet we try to fight it. It won't happen.


If you take the vision he teaches in this book and apply it to anything in life, you gain greater perspective on things/interests etc. A person who's "in it for the long-run" makes out far better, both in business and life. It takes the stress off results today in sacrifice for greater gains tomorrow.


III. Do your passion, while working to live.


I think back to how life links things...I initially LOVED the stock market. Loved it. I'd right out budgets and savings plans. Watch the tickers. Everything. I'd read, read, read. To me, there was never enough to know. In college, stock contests came as fun and easy, as I'd beat most people easily enough and finance as a major was just what I should do, it wasn't a major, so tests weren't tests.


When i was seeking employment, I held firm that I was worth alot, yet I'd prove myself to earn what I wanted with no cap. In a weird series of events, I landed in a position perfect for exactly what I'd do, because I held the vision in my mind while working toward it. The universe does pull it toward you, but most give up before it arrives. Its like looking for that lost thing, and if you turn over just 1 more leaf, it's RIGHT THERE!


This all happened because I used my current resources to leverage myself and see the assets around me. I thought win-win, and was able to bridge the gap. Anything is possible if you believe it enough and make a plan to do it. If you look for confirmation in the world of what it is you want, you'll never get it. So many people set such a low bar on themselves that if you ask anyone if something is possible, they'll most likely say 'no'. Vision is seeing with the mind that which the eyes cannot see, nor the person can believe, but which you know can be true if made so.


IV. Fundamentally, do what's right now with an eye to the future.


Financially speaking, MOST people in general wait until they make it big to do anything.

"I'll wait until I'm rich to save."

"I'll wait until I'm more fit to approach."

"i'll wait...."


Yet, do now what you would do. Here's an analogy. Say you want to save money for investing, but want to wait until your income grows. Then your income grows, and you buy the car you want and the house you want. Where'd the income go? There's no extra. So you don't save.


SAVE now. Learn to INVEST now. So when you're 30, 40, and 50, you can get into the SERIOUS moneymakers. Using retirement plans and stocks are mostly easy stuff. People that say it isn't true to buy real estate or shopping malls just haven't graduated the 1st grade of investing, nor learned how to deal with credit or savings, so why bother with them???


I tell my brother who's into music: "Save and invest now, create the habits, so you become the habits. Have a fall back egg if you don't make it big, but know full well you'll be big enough from what I help you do anyways."


You could...


1. Save and invest now with a financial plan.
2. Persue your regular working job.
3 Further your interests and passions in the meantime.





A-Unit

 

[Virtú]

How well is passion supposed to be able to handle the necessary grind?

Is it possible to be passionate about something, to have it mean enough to you that you want to pursue it, but when you actually do pursue it, the difficulty and tedium tend to overpower your passion?

What does it mean when the pain and difficulty of the required effort taint the "magic" of the thing you desire, to the extent that you begin to doubt either the thing's worth to you or your ability to attain it?

EXAMPLE: School - I chose architecture as a career; it's something that interests me on theoretical and aesthetic levels and it's something I want to improve the world with on a practical level. But every day I'm tormented by the fact that I'm not applying myself as much as I could; I feel constant envy for other students as they surpass me; I feel constant guilt that I'm not working as hard as I could. But the prospect of doing so is so daunting, so potentially painful and uncertain of success, that it discourages me.

EXAMPLE: Fitness - I know how great it would be to have a strong and healthy body, and I would be glad to have such a body. But when I actually work out and eat properly, working towards the goal is so unpleasant that the goal isn't enough to motivate me, so I falter and eventually quit.

EXAMPLE: Any little thing I've ever wanted to do on a whim, but was stopped from doing either due to laziness, apathy, or fear of pain, difficulty, and failure. This is what I hate most about myself, the fact that I am so easily stopped, and by stupid, irrelevant things at that.

Is something that you're passionate about something that you'll fight for at any cost, no matter what stands in your way and regardless of whether or not you'll succeed?

If that's the case, what does it mean if I'm not passionate about anything ... if I don't feel passion at all?

 

[Nocturnal]

A Unit, I agree with you, but what about those of us who aren't passionate about something?

My brother, like yours, has become in love with music (he's a guitarist). He started when he was 14, two years ago, but since then has played anywhere from 2-3 hours a day to pretty much the whole day on a consistent basis. It is just not comparable to the average teenage kid who wants to be a cool guitarist (although it probably started that way). This IS his passion.

But what if he had decided to try a sport or something else instead? Would he ever have found something he loved so much? If someone can miss it once, certainly probability could dictate at least some people never figuring out what it is they love to do. And how do you know where to look?

In reference to your question, Virtú, I don't think you can just "pick" a passion. How could you force yourself to have positive emotions as a reaction to doing something?

 

[Brad324]

I used to be extremely passionate about video games, before I finally woke up and realized that I should be persuing girls. I would read the magazines, look forward to the release dates, buy new games every month, etc. I could talk with other guys about video games and know all about the industry... Now video games just aren't interesting to me. My main passion right now is understanding women... but now I need to find something to DO that doesn't involve women. Something to talk about with women. Someone should make a big list of hobbies to be passionate about or something.

 

[Virtú]

Originally posted by Nocturnal
How could you force yourself to have positive emotions as a reaction to doing something?

The only thing that I can think of is to be REALLY good at it.

For example, I like what I'm good at and will do it often, and I dislike what I'm bad at and will avoid doing it whenever possible.

This avoidance obviously leads to the perpetuation of the badness, as well as creating a man extremely susceptible to things like fear, pain, and difficulty - we call such a man "weak".

I seem to have come to the conclusion that the only way out of this cycle and to achieve a state of passion for something, of being stimulated, satisfied, and pleased by something, is to become proficient at it.

I doubt that any man is stimulated positively by his weaknesses or inadequacies, so existing in this state tends to perpetuate itself. These men will wallow in their inferiority, develop complexes of weakness and victimhood, and eventually champion smallness as a desirable way of life - Nietzsche's "ressentiment" and "slave morality" at work.

For the man with the proper mentality (see my sig below) starting small is not a problem; it doesn't concern him, as he is too busy fighting the world for what he wants.

However, for the weak, AFC, beta male, it is a problem, as "progress at any cost" is not hard-wired into him. The constant struggle for personal superiority does not come naturally to him, and so it must be taught.

Unfortunately, since it does not come naturally to him, he does not respond to it the way a strong man would. "Pain is weakness leaving the body/mind/soul" - this is truth, but the weak man cannot see it, as he is blinded by pain and fear, and is all too willing to succumb to them in order to stop the pain.

IMO, to the strong man, pain, fear, and difficulty are powerful motivators; the world has challenged him and he will not shame himself by either refusing to fight or by losing the fight. To stand and fight is to witness his own power, a potent pleasure that he will seek out whenever he can.

To the weak man, however, pain, fear, and difficulty are torments; the world is ripping away the insulation of apathy and ignorance that he relies upon to stay sane. To stand and fight is to have his own weaknesses paraded before him, a humiliation that pierces his already miserable core, something that he will do anything to avoid.

I am trying to improve myself, but I am still a weak man. Since I cannot hope to win through sheer strength of will, I'm trying to find a method that doesn't require me to be strong.

However, all evidence points to this being a fool's errand - a mountain does not have an elevator.

Do something until you're not afraid of it anymore --- Keep doing it until it becomes automatic --- Have fun with it

There are two previous stages, painful and difficult stages, that I must face and fight through to reach the final stage, the stage of passion.

I guess this is what they mean when they say that things are going to get worse before they get better

 

[Virtú]

Originally posted by A-Unit
I. Follow your gut.

"Follow your gut" is good advice, A-Unit ... under normal circumstances.

I disagree with you because, based on what I see in my own life, my gut is satisfied by nothing more than junk food, TV, masturbation, and sleep, since these are the only things that I do not have to force myself to do.

If I am so pathetic that I have no greater ambition than to lead a life of sloth and dissipation ... then quite frankly I wonder why I'm not suicidal.

Originally posted by A-Unit
III. Do your passion, while working to live.

Can it be possible to be passionate about work? To have the fire burn inside you in the office as well as in the midst of your pleasures?
Isn't passion what turns surviving into thriving, what turns mundane obligation into a glorious crusade?

Originally posted by A-Unit
IV. Fundamentally, do what's right now with an eye to the future.

I'm doing what is right now, but I'm doing it because I have to, not because I want to. My future is already secure, and it's going to be a good one ... but it could be immeasurably greater than what I'm headed for.

What I'm looking for is the satisfaction that it seems action should give me. I'm not looking for orgasmic pleasure, I know that is an impossible dream, but I'm still looking for some kind of internal emotional reward for my struggles.

I can be tired and hurting from everything I've put myself through, and still nowhere close to my goal, but damn I feel good!
I want to feel stronger for having fought and suffered, not weaker.

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A-Unit, I think that we're using two different definitions for the word "passion". You know yours, so I'll give you mine.

I see passion as a means rather than an end. I value passion as a tool for action and progress, not as a goal to be worked towards.

To me, passion is the effect that the proverbial carrot has on the proverbial donkey; it is what makes him move forward and pull the heavy load - to me, passion is not the proverbial carrot itself, like it seems to be with you (not that you're wrong of course).

I need passion not so much to simply have passion, but in order to do what I must to achieve the things that I need or desire.

IMO, passion is not the HB10 that you lie in bed with after sex, feeling good about yourself for having achieved it. Passion is the inner fire that enabled you to face and conquer your fear of her and the possibility of failure; passion is the inner fire that made you bold and persistent in the face of pain and difficulty; passion is the inner fire that enabled you to suck and fvck like there was no tomorrow.

IMO, your passion isn't the prize that you're after or what you do to achieve that prize; passion is what has you busting your ass and liking it ... regardless of what you're after.


Here's a better example:

What makes a boxer fight? What makes him choose the pain and difficulty of training, sparring, and competing?

Nobody could convince me that boxing is a pleasurable activity, like eating or having sex - if anything, it's exactly the opposite, extremely painful and tiring - but these guys choose to endure it and thrive on it both physically and mentally, sometimes even enough to make a career out of it.

What a boxer has, that the average guy doesn't, is passion; the fire, the drive that has him doing these things and feeling like a better man for having done them.

The average weak man would lack passion, and would therefore be so brutalized by the pain and difficulty of even his first boxing lesson that he would flee far and fast.


Passion is not what you do.

Passion is how much you put into it - a passionate man will put his whole being into what he does.

Passion is how much you'll put yourself through for it - a passionate man will put himself through Hell for what he needs or wants.

Passion is how motivated you are even after you fail at it - a passionate man who fails only pushes himself harder the next time.