Finding out why I was rejected... AFTER the fact.

[Maurizio]

So I asked this chick out about a month ago, and the execution of the close was really good. I made my move without establishing too much rapport, but I figured "what the hell, why not" because I wasn't getting many chances to talk with her.

She rejected me... it wasn't really a big deal since I realized it was a gamble in the first place, except that it was a really vague rejection. I called her on a monday, and suggested that I was doing something on friday and sunday, and that she should join me.

She hesitated (bad sign, I think). And then she says something, quite slowly as though she's improvising, like this, "I'm not sure what I'm doing this weekend..." and didn't take up on either of my offers. This was no big deal, and I moved on.

Although I spent little time to move on from the rejection, and have been applying the game to new girls, I still see a lot of this particular one that rejected me. She acts quite nervously around me too (which is a sign of attraction, I think) and I haven't been sure why this is the case since she rejected me. But then I also discovered recently that she has a boyfriend... which is probably the reason I was shot down initially. He's not a guy I know, so I personally don't give a crap about him.

Having learned that the reason for my failure may not be associated to her not being attracted to me, but because there's some other chump in the picture... should I re-open the pursuit? What can I do to make it seem as though my initial failed attempt was aiming just for some time to "hang out" with her and not the pursuit of a relationship or infringing on one she already has?

Please don't just say move on, because I have, I just want to reevaluate whether or not this "case" is truely "closed."

Any takes on the situation? What I should do?

- Maurizio

 

[the lionheart]

Maybe you're mistaking "nervousness" as an obvious sign of disinterest rather than a sign of timidness around someone she has feelings for?

Maybe she doesnt want to cheat on her bf?

Those things should be taken into account if you're really going to pursue this one bro

 

[Luscious]

From time to time, you'll get chicks who will act just ridiculous around guys they know 'like them'. It's what we call immaturity.

It got 'weird' between you two. She's under the impression everything you say to her will be an attempt to get her out on a date and away from her BF, and tries to avoid conversation so this problem doesn't arise. She doesn't have the maturity to deal with this.

Any more pursuit you make is a big negative at this point. She already knows you like her. If she's interested, she'll let you know. Until then, you need to (yes, I'll say it)...NEXT her. Trust me, just when you forget about her, that's when she becomes interested.

 

[Ronny_Neumonic]

Well I've been inspired by WUWD's post on being more helpful, so like I was treated when I first came here I'm gonna try help a little bit better!

Originally posted by Maurizio
So I asked this chick out about a month ago, and the execution of the close was really good.

cool

I made my move without establishing too much rapport, but I figured "what the hell, why not" because I wasn't getting many chances to talk with her.

so far...so good

She rejected me... it wasn't really a big deal since I realized it was a gamble in the first place, except that it was a really vague rejection.

"Vague rejection"??? NONONONO! There is no such thing. If she wanted to go out with you it would've been a YES!

I called her on a monday, and suggested that I was doing something on friday and sunday, and that she should join me.

She's gonna say no...

She hesitated (bad sign, I think).

You're so smart!

And then she says something, quite slowly as though she's improvising, like this, "I'm not sure what I'm doing this weekend..." and didn't take up on either of my offers.

TOLD YA!!! I'm so smart

This was no big deal, and I moved on.

good.

Although I spent little time to move on from the rejection, and have been applying the game to new girls, I still see a lot of this particular one that rejected me.

Sounds like you've got OR are getting a case of oneitus(bad thing...i think )

She acts quite nervously around me too (which is a sign of attraction, I think)

No...She thinks you're a rapist psycho who can't take "NO" for an answer.

and I haven't been sure why this is the case since she rejected me.

I'm tellin ya, SHE THINKS YOU ARE NUTS!!! And now I'm beginning to wonder too...

But then I also discovered recently that she has a boyfriend... which is probably the reason I was shot down initially.

I doubt it...

He's not a guy I know, so I personally don't give a crap about him.

That's good! cause chances are that he doesn't give a crap about you, too! You pose no threat to his woman (cept the possibility of a good ass-raping)

Having learned that the reason for my failure may not be associated to her not being attracted to me, but because there's some other chump in the picture...

YOU are the chump...get it? He has the girl. He is THE MAN!

should I re-open the pursuit?

no

What can I do to make it seem as though my initial failed attempt was aiming just for some time to "hang out" with her and not the pursuit of a relationship or infringing on one she already has?

by NEVER EVER making ANY contact with this girl again.

Please don't just say move on, because I have, I just want to reevaluate whether or not this "case" is truely "closed."

This case has officially been closed by inspector Ronny. You have no chance with this girl in the foreseeable future. You claim to have "moved on", however you spent this much time writing about her so it's obvious you havn't. GET OVER IT!

Any takes on the situation? What I should do?

see above^^

- Maurizio

aren't you the guy with the DJ essay?
dang

 

[Maurizio]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ronny, you crack me up! Thanks for trying to be helpful, really, but you misconstrued quite A LOT of information. Either that or I did a $hitty job describing the situation which is also possible.

I didn't ask her out, get a rejection, and THEN give her a call. I got her number SUCESSFULY, and the rejection that I was talking about WAS the exchange about setting up a date.

And when I mention that I've been seeing her more often, it's becuase this term I have a class with her, not becuase I've been seeking her out. And actually, I haven't been talking with her since asking getting rejected. ...But she DOES sit next to me often, and in doing so, also acts nervously.

- I only got rejected ONCE. And that was after getting the number.

- I haven't been talking to her since being rejected. SHE sits next to me though and acts nervous. SHE has been seeking MY audience!

I'm sorry if my post wasn't clear in the first place, but you mixed up the facts to make me look like some obsessed fool. Not the case.

Hope I've cleared things up.

- Maurizio

 

[penkitten]

do you know any of her friends? listen to what they say about her behind her back. chicks love to gossip especially when you give us a reason . if she sincerly has a boyfriend then maybe you should just move on. if she doesnt and she lied to you , there is more of a reason to move on.

this one seems to be one that is more your call than our advise. if it takes you asking her out again to decide then do what you need to do just make sure you are aware that she can say no twice.

 

[Maurizio]

I hear ya penkitten.

I do know some of her friends, but never hear them speaking about one another behind each others backs.

I also agree with your seccond piece of info. She can keep on acting the way she has if she likes, but I think I'm going to just going to let her be. If I were to ask her out again for means of clarifying the situation, I'd probably end up looking the way that Ronny made me out to be! I don't want that now, do I.

- Maurizio