Smartone84
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2006
- Messages
- 317
- Reaction score
- 96
First, I'm well aware I was pretty much rejected. Guess I just wanted to share the story incase anyone could add insight. Co-worker, who I'll call "Kate", not in my department or building even. Only visited her office once every few weeks or so and would briefly chat until things progressed to full blown lengthier conversations over the last few months. I know many people at work are just "work friendly", but I've realized over the years that its definitely more unusual when its an attractive woman when talking to a single man. Usually they keep some distance. All that being said though, we had some amazing general chemistry. Never a dull moment. She'd laugh and smile all the time, act excited over mundane things, she'd rememeber little things I mentioned in the past, maintained solid eye contact, always had an upbeat/feminine tone when talking to me as opposed to mundane and flat. I'd get a little flirty at times. She never reciprocated the flirtation, but she's also one of the most reserved women I've ever met before. Like we are talking quite socially awkward and could bet you thousands that she's never been in a serious relationship and also could bet that she's still a virgin. Yes, we are talking about a rare breed of a woman. I'm 39, she's 28 fyi. Early on I'd feel that age difference between us and think about it a lot, but over time I didn't think about it anymore.
Things just weren't easy though. We worked completely different hours, lived in completely different far apart neighborhoods, and our offices aren't ones that would ever do happy hours of anything like that. There was a company xmas party in December, but of course she had other plans that night. If I had just seen her there, out of work, this would've been over then, as all I really needed was one night seeing her outside of the same office over and over again. Finally after what felt like way too long, in early January I got her number and decided to text her a week later to gauge interest and see what she'd be like in a chat outside of work. I was met with somewhat flat responses that included several bad misspellings. She would respond though, even when not prompted, and even after the convo seemed done and dead, but she just seemed to not give me anything to work with. Bc of how "odd" and socially awkward she can be in person though, these texts didn't exactly shock me. For perspective, if I had to guess, I think there's something a little "off" about her. Not sure if its some sort of minor cognitive disability or dylsexia or what, but its something imo
Two weeks after the infamous text exchange though, back in person at her office she was her exact same self, if not more upbeat than ever. We had an awesome normal conversation filled with laughs and jokes and everything else. This was pretty much confirmation to me that the flat texting was in no way something against me. Then, a couple of hours later I'm in a back office in her building working on something (i'm a tech). In an unprecedented move, she comes BACK to said office to chat with me for a few minutes. I was almost in shock as this was not like her at all. She's come up to me before, but when I've been very close by. This was completelely out of her way. I almost had vibes that maybe bc she felt that the text exchange two weeks earlier went poorly that she'd try and show me interest in this way here tonight. It gets more interesting though, as literally a minute later after our chat, I ran into a close co-worker friend of hers that I know somewhat well and the friend quickly says "Did Kate come to see you?". I told her she did and how we chatted. That was it. So now I know there was some sort of conversation between the two that preceeded her coming back to my office to talk. Hmmmm, I thought. I also wondered if the friend was fishing to see what I would say, or if it was just general bs'ing.
So at this point I feel like I'm back in the game. Three days later by chance I'm going to be back in her building cafeteria area from 10:30-11am but had to leave right around 11:05 or so for my next stop. She works 11-7pm to be exact. I text her saying hey i'll be here if you want to stop by for a minute before heading upstairs. I was going to ask her out when she showed up. Her response is "If I can I will but I'm usually running late lol". I wrote back that its all good and not to worry. Never got another text from her. Wow, I thought. Running late I give her the benefit of the doubt on. Some people are just weird with routines and not having them disturbed, though I did find it a bit odd how its like, well, you can't leave your house 5 minutes early one day? But I digress. What I couldn't give her the benefit of the doubt on was her never texting me after that. No sorry she couldn't make it, no maybe i'll see you soon, no nothing. To think she literally pulled up to her building, went upstairs, and didn't even think twice apparently about how I was literally downstairs in this cafeteria and thought of her, wanting to chat, with no text or anything. I'll admit, I felt kinda pissed, not to mention, confused considering just how interesting things went a few nights earlier. Just a few days earlier she's going out of her way to talk to me like she never had before, talking to her friend about doing so, etc. Then this. It started getting to the point where I felt like I could only play the "socially awkward" card so much until I was fooling myself a bit.
While feeling done with the entire saga and ready to just move on, in an ironic twist only a week later a position in her department opens up that she had been waiting for forever that we talked about since we first met over a year and a half earlier. The job is closer to home for her. I had texted her saying good luck on the interview as I knew for sure she would be applying. She liked the text and said thanks and how she's so excited. A little over a week later she texts me. "Hey I got the job btw". Ok then, I thought.... She's texting me.... She cares about telling me. Let me use this opportunity to just shoot my shot. I text "Congrats!! It finally happened. We should grab a drink at some point in the next week to celebrate. My treat
".
She responds over two hours later saying "Thanks I'm so happy I don't have to commute into the city anymore "
That was it. I never wrote back anything else.
Complete disregard for and no comment about my drink invite. I'm talking to her about going out to celebrate and she's responding talking about a commute. In my opinion was simply a distraction from the fact that she was clearly ignoring my invite. So that was that. 1.5 years of a solid work relationship and really 4 months of becoming much closer at work all just to get a cold/immature response like that. Obviously this would have been over sooner if I worked with her everyday, but I only saw her once every 2-3 weeks on average. I have a couple of friends who say I should have been more direct asking her for a specific day or two and given her social awkwardness maybe she didn't know how to respond, but I won't ever buy that. She's definitely odd, but she's not slow. She knows what I wrote and she could have wrote back "Sure" or "Sounds good", etc. In one last interesting note to the story, I ran into her friend again a few days later, and somewhat in the middle of our convo she sort of abruptly says "So Kate go that job, you know". I responded saying yes, I heard, and that I'm happy for her. I know the two of them are close, but I'm unsure if they are super close to where she told her, hey, he asked me out. Not that it would really mean much anyway I guess. Maybe the friend was just trying to be gossipy and see what I'd say. Who knows. For now though, its over and time to move on.
Things just weren't easy though. We worked completely different hours, lived in completely different far apart neighborhoods, and our offices aren't ones that would ever do happy hours of anything like that. There was a company xmas party in December, but of course she had other plans that night. If I had just seen her there, out of work, this would've been over then, as all I really needed was one night seeing her outside of the same office over and over again. Finally after what felt like way too long, in early January I got her number and decided to text her a week later to gauge interest and see what she'd be like in a chat outside of work. I was met with somewhat flat responses that included several bad misspellings. She would respond though, even when not prompted, and even after the convo seemed done and dead, but she just seemed to not give me anything to work with. Bc of how "odd" and socially awkward she can be in person though, these texts didn't exactly shock me. For perspective, if I had to guess, I think there's something a little "off" about her. Not sure if its some sort of minor cognitive disability or dylsexia or what, but its something imo
Two weeks after the infamous text exchange though, back in person at her office she was her exact same self, if not more upbeat than ever. We had an awesome normal conversation filled with laughs and jokes and everything else. This was pretty much confirmation to me that the flat texting was in no way something against me. Then, a couple of hours later I'm in a back office in her building working on something (i'm a tech). In an unprecedented move, she comes BACK to said office to chat with me for a few minutes. I was almost in shock as this was not like her at all. She's come up to me before, but when I've been very close by. This was completelely out of her way. I almost had vibes that maybe bc she felt that the text exchange two weeks earlier went poorly that she'd try and show me interest in this way here tonight. It gets more interesting though, as literally a minute later after our chat, I ran into a close co-worker friend of hers that I know somewhat well and the friend quickly says "Did Kate come to see you?". I told her she did and how we chatted. That was it. So now I know there was some sort of conversation between the two that preceeded her coming back to my office to talk. Hmmmm, I thought. I also wondered if the friend was fishing to see what I would say, or if it was just general bs'ing.
So at this point I feel like I'm back in the game. Three days later by chance I'm going to be back in her building cafeteria area from 10:30-11am but had to leave right around 11:05 or so for my next stop. She works 11-7pm to be exact. I text her saying hey i'll be here if you want to stop by for a minute before heading upstairs. I was going to ask her out when she showed up. Her response is "If I can I will but I'm usually running late lol". I wrote back that its all good and not to worry. Never got another text from her. Wow, I thought. Running late I give her the benefit of the doubt on. Some people are just weird with routines and not having them disturbed, though I did find it a bit odd how its like, well, you can't leave your house 5 minutes early one day? But I digress. What I couldn't give her the benefit of the doubt on was her never texting me after that. No sorry she couldn't make it, no maybe i'll see you soon, no nothing. To think she literally pulled up to her building, went upstairs, and didn't even think twice apparently about how I was literally downstairs in this cafeteria and thought of her, wanting to chat, with no text or anything. I'll admit, I felt kinda pissed, not to mention, confused considering just how interesting things went a few nights earlier. Just a few days earlier she's going out of her way to talk to me like she never had before, talking to her friend about doing so, etc. Then this. It started getting to the point where I felt like I could only play the "socially awkward" card so much until I was fooling myself a bit.
While feeling done with the entire saga and ready to just move on, in an ironic twist only a week later a position in her department opens up that she had been waiting for forever that we talked about since we first met over a year and a half earlier. The job is closer to home for her. I had texted her saying good luck on the interview as I knew for sure she would be applying. She liked the text and said thanks and how she's so excited. A little over a week later she texts me. "Hey I got the job btw". Ok then, I thought.... She's texting me.... She cares about telling me. Let me use this opportunity to just shoot my shot. I text "Congrats!! It finally happened. We should grab a drink at some point in the next week to celebrate. My treat
". She responds over two hours later saying "Thanks I'm so happy I don't have to commute into the city anymore
"That was it. I never wrote back anything else.
Complete disregard for and no comment about my drink invite. I'm talking to her about going out to celebrate and she's responding talking about a commute. In my opinion was simply a distraction from the fact that she was clearly ignoring my invite. So that was that. 1.5 years of a solid work relationship and really 4 months of becoming much closer at work all just to get a cold/immature response like that. Obviously this would have been over sooner if I worked with her everyday, but I only saw her once every 2-3 weeks on average. I have a couple of friends who say I should have been more direct asking her for a specific day or two and given her social awkwardness maybe she didn't know how to respond, but I won't ever buy that. She's definitely odd, but she's not slow. She knows what I wrote and she could have wrote back "Sure" or "Sounds good", etc. In one last interesting note to the story, I ran into her friend again a few days later, and somewhat in the middle of our convo she sort of abruptly says "So Kate go that job, you know". I responded saying yes, I heard, and that I'm happy for her. I know the two of them are close, but I'm unsure if they are super close to where she told her, hey, he asked me out. Not that it would really mean much anyway I guess. Maybe the friend was just trying to be gossipy and see what I'd say. Who knows. For now though, its over and time to move on.
