Finally an HB8+, but now what?

[jay_mo]

Hi guys

I'm 29, this year turned out to be a great year of improvement for me. In the beginning of 2011, I had slept with 6 girls in my entire life. 2 weeks ago I had my 10th.

The hottest one I'd had so far was a HB7+ something that I had a LTR with for a year or so, this was 2 years ago. The rest has been between HB5-7, mostly HB5-6.

I was happy to reach the "magic number" of 10 and to have 4 of them in such short time. Although I was not happy with the low HB-numbers.
The problem was, I usually hit only on the girls that I know I can get, and those are usually HB5-7.

Then 2 days ago, Saturday night, something really nice happened. I got my #11 only two weeks after #10. And this one was f*cking hot. At least HB8, almost 9.

She was so hot I was almost shaking of nervousness! Anyway I pulled it through, and it was awesome. (well the sex could have been better because it was late and we had been drinking, but at least it was OK)

It was one of these nights when everything just goes your way. We met at a birthday party and then we all went to a nightclub. I don't know what happened, I had no intentions on hitting on her (I thought she was annoying and too hot) so I just didn't think. I did all things I learned unconsciously and since I didn't care I did it naturally somehow and it worked.
I started to feel that she wanted me, and all I had to do was some small moves and suddenly we were kissing and when we were leaving the club she invited me to go with her home.
Once there she was just cute and nice, not annoying or acting superior at all.

The morning after, we exchanged numbers and she kissed me goodbye in the door. I think it should be possible to hook up with her again and see were it could lead.

Still, this thing kills me. I don't think I see myself "worthy" of trying to make her my girlfriend - my self esteem isn't at HB8+ level yet. I will of course give it my best shot, but how do I do it when I'm nervous like crap?
I can't stop thinking about her, this doesn't make things any easier =)

Should I call her? How long should I wait? Do I need to act unneedy, busy?
Some simple advice would help, to make it easier for me to stay focused and not loose it immediately =)

Most of all, how do I stop obsessing about her - this might screw everything up =/ Feels almost like i've lost my virginity a second time....

 

[gaspipe]

Hi guys

I'm 29, this year turned out to be a great year of improvement for me. In the beginning of 2011, I had slept with 6 girls in my entire life. 2 weeks ago I had my 10th.

The hottest one I'd had so far was a HB7+ something that I had a LTR with for a year or so, this was 2 years ago. The rest has been between HB5-7, mostly HB5-6.

I was happy to reach the "magic number" of 10 and to have 4 of them in such short time. Although I was not happy with the low HB-numbers.
The problem was, I usually hit only on the girls that I know I can get, and those are usually HB5-7.

Then 2 days ago, Saturday night, something really nice happened. I got my #11 only two weeks after #10. And this one was f*cking hot. At least HB8, almost 9.

She was so hot I was almost shaking of nervousness! Anyway I pulled it through, and it was awesome. (well the sex could have been better because it was late and we had been drinking, but at least it was OK)

It was one of these nights when everything just goes your way. We met at a birthday party and then we all went to a nightclub. I don't know what happened, I had no intentions on hitting on her (I thought she was annoying and too hot) so I just didn't think. I did all things I learned unconsciously and since I didn't care I did it naturally somehow and it worked.
I started to feel that she wanted me, and all I had to do was some small moves and suddenly we were kissing and when we were leaving the club she invited me to go with her home.
Once there she was just cute and nice, not annoying or acting superior at all.

The morning after, we exchanged numbers and she kissed me goodbye in the door. I think it should be possible to hook up with her again and see were it could lead.

Still, this thing kills me. I don't think I see myself "worthy" of trying to make her my girlfriend - my self esteem isn't at HB8+ level yet. I will of course give it my best shot, but how do I do it when I'm nervous like crap?
I can't stop thinking about her, this doesn't make things any easier =)

Should I call her? How long should I wait? Do I need to act unneedy, busy?
Some simple advice would help, to make it easier for me to stay focused and not loose it immediately =)

Most of all, how do I stop obsessing about her - this might screw everything up =/ Feels almost like i've lost my virginity a second time....

Stop putting her on a pedestal. Realize that her shyt doesnt smell any better than yours and that she takes a dump just as much as you do.

The worst thing you can do is start acting needy and calling her everyday.

I would wait a couple of days and nonchalantly ask her if shed like to go out for a drink or too. Dont mention or make any comments about the sex as it may raise her ant-slut defense as she may think your just using her for sex.

Be nice and polite but act as if you have other options. In the meantime, I would not put my eggs all in one basket and start working on other prospects.

And I dont want to rain on your parade kid, but remember that you just met this girl one night and she put out with little effort. To me a girl who puts out the first night is not really LTR material and most likely you are not the only one shes brought home . So dont dont get your hopes up too much with this girl.

 

[jay_mo]

Ok, so this is what happens, help and advice is appreciated!

On monday evening, she adds me on facebook. I accepted some hours later at night.

On tuesday I sent an SMS, inviting her to drink some wine with me at wednesday evening. She responds after quite many hours and accepts the offer.

On wednesday daytime, she texts me and asks if we can change the wine tonight to coffee. I answered "no problem". (I later found out this was because she had to wake up at 6am next day - and I know since before these are her work times some days)

On Wednesday evening at 7pm, we meet up. I take her to the store to buy some coffee beans and I bring her to my place to make some coffee. She talks alot and she is looking really amazing.
The date works out pretty okay. But I always feel like I'm coming out as "the nice guy" on dates and I hate that. She must think I am a nice guy, no question about it. And to me that sometimes makes me feel like I'm screwed. Escpecially with a hot chick because I always tend to think they want the bad guys...

I escalate some body contact during our talks and well things seems to work pretty okay, in my mind though I'm fighting my fear of ending up in some friend zone. (I seem to have some phobia for this)

After maybe 2 hours of talking and having a great time, I ask if she wants some tea or something. She says yes, but then she will probably have to go home to get some sleep. We go to the kitchen to make some tea and I go for the kiss close, and she let me kiss her.

We kiss for a while, and since we already had sex, I don't make it a short one, I keep kissing her. Then she stops and says - let's have some tea, this is getting too much. And she smiles and giggles.

We drink our tea. This is where I make some mistakes. I come of a bit too clingy because I want to confirm we are not in friend zone - but actually I should have chilled out a little. So I try to kiss her more and get more physical. She doesn't really object, but she "finish" the kissing, and I realize pretty fast she will not have sex with me tonight.

We talk a little more and when we finished our tea it's time for her to leave. When she start to put her clothes on, I grab her hands and says "come here", and she does. We kiss a little and then I say, "want to meet up again?"
She says "Maybe... but I do need a liiittle space"

I say Okay, and I say it gets like this when you go as far as we did on the first night, and I smile. She laughs and it looks like she thinks I have a valid point. Then she says "can I go now?" and laughs.

I say of course and go with her to the door, holding it open as she exits. In my head I'm thinking "****ing crap, I probably blew this one"....
I say "next time we´ll have that wine". And she says "yes, let's do that".

When she is out of the door she turns to me and kisses me on the mouth. I was basically having a leaned back body position so I swear I didn't do anything to initiate that. I thought, okay, if she was running away in panic, she wouldn't have to do that at all. Then she calls the elevator. And as it arrives, she says "bye", and she leans over and gives me another kiss on the mouth. Also totally unnecessary.

The next morning, at 8am, I get a text from her saying. "Thank you for a great time last night and great coffee. I hope I wasn't talking too much haha"

So.... what's up with this? I screwed up a bit, I thought I had scared her away, but then she did things she didn't have to do if she wanted to run.
It looks to me like if I play this right I could have a chance.

Any suggestions on how to proceed. I didn't have any contact with her since yesterday when she sent me that text, thought I'll wait a little... But for how long? When to call her, and what should I suggest?

For your information. I do have other plates spinning. But I have to run the train all the way out on this one, give it my best shot...

 

[gaspipe]

You started to act a bit too needy and maybe a little desperate. Chicks are really good at detecting this.

My suggestion is to go no contact for about a week. That may confuse her and raise her IL a little since shes probably expecting you to be all over her. Work on your current plates in the meantime and then give her a call then and invite her out again.

Keep us posted.

 

[bigneil]

How can you handle an HB8? Easy. Go on a date with an HB9.

 

[jay_mo]

Thanks for you comments.

Of course, I need to give her some room, no doubt about it.

But somehow, I wouldn't really complain about her IL already. I think she did lots of things indicating that she might be interested in me. It's something with the way she is acting in my company and also the things I mentioned with the follow-up sms, the kisses etc.

Not to mention the way she seemed to TOLERATE my bad dating mistakes. If I appear to needy/desperate and she still act patiently and stick around, to me that seems like good interest level. With low IL, she would have been running desperately and I would definetely not have heard a beep from her the next day.

Unfortunately she probably detected neediness and insecurity. She showed signs of being a little pressured.

Dating an HB9 would for sure help me handling her. My description of how I feel for her right now is almost best described as... fear.

Let's say she could see I was insecure about the whole thing. Wouldn't waiting for a whole week without a word just confirm to her just how scared I am to contact her? Bare in mind that I never acted needy outside of date number 2.

If she would have responded to contact by flaking, that would be one thing... Then waiting would be the right thing to do. But in this case I looked insecure but she didn't really give any signals that she dislikes me contacting her. If I wait too long wouldn't that behavior rather seem coward and boring?

In my mind, waiting for a week would make her go "zzz whatever - this guy can't handle me" rather than "woaah I wonder what he is up to".

This is how I see it. Comments?

 

[jay_mo]

picture her masturbating with a dildo to the thought of you

I like it. Thanks I actually think this ***** wants some more soon...

 

[Single4Life]

she probably got into you because you didn't like her and probably ignored her.

women are good at picking up when a guy is thinking about sex, and is into a girl, etc...

she was like wtf? this guy isnt into me? and that probably got you laid.

 

[jay_mo]

she probably got into you because you didn't like her and probably ignored her.

women are good at picking up when a guy is thinking about sex, and is into a girl, etc...

she was like wtf? this guy isnt into me? and that probably got you laid.

you're probably right that is a well known tactic. But once hooked I don't think whatever reason was her first matters that much.

Her IL and attraction was high, we had sex also in the morning after we met. And she contacted me on fb. It's not only because I was not interested - I was interested once we started kissing.

What's important now is, what do I do now to make the best of the situation. Is no contact the general suggestion? Any other opinions? I just want some advice on what to do...

 

[jay_mo]

Follow up on this almost 1 month later...

This girl really needed persistence to get to.
I called her up a few days after the last date to ask her out, and she said she would be busy all week. I thought I lost my chance.

A week later I tried again and then she accepted. After that we went on 2 dates and have a third one coming up.