Fighting Your Instincts

[PRMoon]

Recently while at one of my jobs I had a realization that I'm going to share with you all now. There's a woman (HB7.5 Approx 5'5" 135lbs long dirty blond hair Average face, B cups, shapely hips, green eyes) who I was attempting to game when I first started working at my current place of employment. Anyway I built up some repore with her light neg hit, light kino (it's a place of buisness), good converstions etc etc. I asked her out, I think it was three times and each time she last minute flaked on me. So for me anyway, that's pretty much game over for her, as I value my time and I can't afford to make plans with some one who I know from exprience won't show up. I stopped paying attention to her on a romantic level, and let my IL drop as it always does when I'm abandoning ship. I'm still "friends" with the lady as we work together and letting a few missed dates ruin a working relationship isn't the best thing to do because hostile work enviroments are the pits and holding a grudge will get you nowhere in life. Anyway this is about six months later and she's gone in and out of dating a few people, I ofcourse have done my DJ thing as always, but now she's showing those flirtatious signs again. I agreed to help her move her stuff out of her new apartment and she said "Name your price." I though for a split second that I could propsition her for a favor of some kind or a date but then I hit the brakes on those insticts like a car heading towards occupided train tracks. There's no way I'm going to do ANY kind of labor in exchange for anything non physical concidering she's flaked on me 3 times in the past. I then responded with "Two bottles of Jim Beam Black Label should cover it." She doesn't have alot of stuff and asking for 30-50 dollars seems like cheating a friend but 30-34 dollars worth of liquor makes it seem like a trade rather then me getting paid. She grunted a bit but then agreed to the offer.

She's been flirting with me a little bit more recently and daily I remind myself "3 pefectly good nights wasted" and put things back to a friends level or keep myself in check about once again trying to game this woman. Some of you may think I'm crazy for doing it but ultimately, I don't really need to attempt this one again. If she flaked 3 times BEFORE we dated (not saying it's ever going to happen because it won't) I can only imagine the kind of sh*t she would put me through while we were dating. Instictively I'd like to hit it, through DJing I know the means would not jusify the ends and my time is better spent elsewhere.

 

[Hitman10000]

Here's some work sociology 101 for you. Unless you're in a position higher than she is, don't date her.

 

[Phyzzle]

To you Sociology majors, she loves your attention, but she's NOT INTERESTED. Don't spend any time on her.

 

[PRMoon]

I'd just like to thank the two of you for reading and comprehending the entire post before replying with your inspiration thoughts and opinions

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Whats your question?
Seems like its all good for you, leave her alone, shes a flake and she works with ya. Stay away, find someone else to share that jim beam with lol

 

[BacardiGuy]

I say good call on the Jim Beam for compensation.

 

[Delta]

fvck her if you can. put no real work into it though. if she continues with the flirtation, you can eventually volunteer to show up at her place for drinks or something and have her put up or shut up.

not pursuing a relationship. pursuing fvcking her brains out at some point.

delta

 

[PRMoon]

Whats your question?
Seems like its all good for you, leave her alone, shes a flake and she works with ya. Stay away, find someone else to share that jim beam with lol

Right. Maybe I should of posted this in the tips forum? There really isn't any advice to be had from here. I just described how I handled basically bad situation by not doing what AFC's would have done instictively by using my mind instead of my d*ck.

You hit the preverbial nail on the head though. The goal was to get some middle quality liquor for a half hour or so of work, go out, and take a quality girl home for a night cap.

 

[Lucas718]

I'd keep flirting with her just to keep the skills sharp.

 

[Wiesman44]

Here's how I fight my instincts: :box:

 

[niceguydying]

Seems to me that she tried acting interested again just so she could use to help her move. I am very particular who I help move even at all. You are nicer than I am because I wouldn't help her move shyt! Now if you had been hitting it then you should help with the move.

 

[PRMoon]

Seems to me that she tried acting interested again just so she could use to help her move. I am very particular who I help move even at all. You are nicer than I am because I wouldn't help her move shyt! Now if you had been hitting it then you should help with the move.

I've concidered this as well. But utimately I'm coming out on top for the situation. First, she doesn't have all that much heavy stuff to move and I'm a pretty strong guy so I won't be breaking my back or anything. Second, I'm getting physical gifts which are worth around 30 or so dollars. If she doesn't have the booze when I show up, I'm not moving sh*t, and I'm going home.

 

[JJMcLure]

Good luck getting that liquor! I bet it won't be there when you show up. And then it will be "forgotten" about until you press her and probably have to look like an ass by keep asking for it (which if you don't do, you will then have helped her for nothing). And if you walk away once you've showed up you will look a complete d1ck.

Personally, I wouldn't help a chick move unless she was my GF. The point is, you are supposed to have better things to do than spend time with chicks you aren't fvcking. If you help her move in exchange for two bottles of liquor, it just makes you look like a guy with a drinking problem (you know those signs "will work for booze"?) rather than a guy just out of her reach, who has things going on in his life, and is a challenge to her.

I mean, I wouldn't force my buddy to give me two bottles of liquor to help him move so it seems out of place with this chick. But you're searching for a reason to make it seem you're not doing it to be around her, so this contrived barter has occured. She knows you're there because you want her, but you've made her give you two bottles of liquor. Sure, you're not being "used" if you get some $ worth of items out of her, but neither are you raising her attraction to you. And let's face it, the only reason you're helping her is because you DO want to get with her, so this isn't helping your cause.

Don't mean to sound harsh PRMoon, just giving you my take.

 

[realsmoothie]

What? You're helping her MOVE?

Ack! This is like the biggest thing you can do for someone, other than drive them to the airport. Haven't you seen Seinfeld?

 

[Nighthawk]

Flake the move.

 

[PRMoon]

Good luck getting that liquor! I bet it won't be there when you show up. And then it will be "forgotten" about until you press her and probably have to look like an ass by keep asking for it (which if you don't do, you will then have helped her for nothing). And if you walk away once you've showed up you will look a complete d1ck.

I've concidered this as well. But utimately I'm coming out on top for the situation. First, she doesn't have all that much heavy stuff to move and I'm a pretty strong guy so I won't be breaking my back or anything. Second, I'm getting physical gifts which are worth around 30 or so dollars. If she doesn't have the booze when I show up, I'm not moving sh*t, and I'm going home.

Don't care if I look like a d*ck. She flaked on me a few times so if it's not there then I'm entitled to walk out. Believe what you want, I think asking for a gift compensation instead of cash (we're not REALLY good friends afterall) is reasonable. Also believe what you want about my reasoning but also concider I'm literally surrounded by hot girls. I'm doing a favor in excahange for a gift and nothing more, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

 

[PRMoon]

What? You're helping her MOVE?

Ack! This is like the biggest thing you can do for someone, other than drive them to the airport. Haven't you seen Seinfeld?

Funny! But it's not like she owns a mansion or anything. We're talking about a two bedroom apartment. Also I won't be the only guy there. But I will be the only guy getting the Beam Black label.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

the more important question is, is booze so important here that you're willing to show her she can still "get what she wants from you" by simply making it seem like you'll be compensated for it. is it worth your time to go all the way out there just to have her say "oh i didn't buy it yet, i thought you could help me move and then we'd go after" or some other BS excuse.

if she flaked on you and you want nothing to do with her, why give her "false hopes" dude? if she is supposed to be done with like you've said, then why even bother with this? i'd say flake out on her completely or if you want to be nice about it, call her and tell her that you weren't really adament on helping her out to begin with. tell her to call one of her nice guy friends, i'm sure she has a oneitis buddy that she can call on to be her personal handy man.

your self-respect is worth more than this flakey bytch and you owe it to yourself to not even give her your nice side. reserve that for people who deserve it, not for a girl who hasn't even earned it. no matter what you think you can get out of her, you are way better off just leaving her with her own problems. if she needs someone to help her move THAT badly, tell her to use the yellow pages.

 

[PRMoon]

the more important question is, is booze so important here that you're willing to show her she can still "get what she wants from you" by simply making it seem like you'll be compensated for it. is it worth your time to go all the way out there just to have her say "oh i didn't buy it yet, i thought you could help me move and then we'd go after" or some other BS excuse.

if she flaked on you and you want nothing to do with her, why give her "false hopes" dude? if she is supposed to be done with like you've said, then why even bother with this? i'd say flake out on her completely or if you want to be nice about it, call her and tell her that you weren't really adament on helping her out to begin with. tell her to call one of her nice guy friends, i'm sure she has a oneitis buddy that she can call on to be her personal handy man.

your self-respect is worth more than this flakey bytch and you owe it to yourself to not even give her your nice side. reserve that for people who deserve it, not for a girl who hasn't even earned it. no matter what you think you can get out of her, you are way better off just leaving her with her own problems. if she needs someone to help her move THAT badly, tell her to use the yellow pages.

Hmmm that's an interesting point of view. Tough I live in vegas so I'm 15 minutes from everything (Seriously the other side of town is 45 minutes. We have new fast roadways systems.) Also I established with her several times that the booze had better be there delivery on arrival or I walk. And she knows I'm the kind of guy who will walk if I dont' get what I want no excuses given.

I'm fairly exprienced in following my word and not giving in to pity excuses like "oh I though you meant AFTER you worked for me...sorry" or "Oh you meant 6:00 PM! sorry". I'm pretty calous about those things, I am not shy abou calling people on there **** and beind an ass about things. I've done it before at my job with firends and If she even THINKS I won't walk out on her leaving her high and dry with no help, she's got another thing coming. I doubt she'll flake on buying the product but then again she's not very smart so she might. Wost thing that happens, I lose out on 45 minutes of time at 9:30pm. I don't go out until 10:30 11:00 anyway so It's not a significant loss in the end if things go bad. I'm sure she'll be pissed and tell people at my job that I'm a d*ck but honestly people already know my attitude and they heard me say several times the verbal arrangements for the scenerio.

Funny! But it's not like she owns a mansion or anything. We're talking about a two bedroom apartment. Also I won't be the only guy there. But I will be the only guy getting the Beam Black label

Trust me. I weighed the risk vs the rewards for the situation. I'm doing the right thing. I'm no rookie