Fighting over girls...

[speedo_meme]

We're all mature here, and I'd like some mature opinions. Is it ever acceptable to fight another guy over a girl? Does anything ever come of this? Of course you need to fight if some guy is being blatantly rude and disrespectful and just plain talking sh1t and threatening you, I'm not talking about that situation.

I'm talking about someone trying to move in on your girl. Good looking girls will always get hit on. I read posts by guys in here talking about it all the time, and jealousy will kill attraction in a heartbeat. The question is, will attraction build higher if

a) a guy hits on your girl right in front of you, and you act cool as if you don't care

b) guy hits on your girl in front of you, you get in his face and tell him to back off.

It's a matter of respect for me. Guys that hit on your girl in front of you don't respect your relationship. Of course, the buck stops with the girl, but, when should you say, enough is enough.

When guys hit on my gf, they usually back off when they realize she's with me. It seems to me that a girl will think you're a wuss if you just let some guy come right in in front of you, but you'll also look like a wuss if you try to man up to him and get all upset and mad.

I'm really not good in this situation. I guess you should just sort of playfully play it off and maybe bust on the guy a bit.

A guy at our gym (I could probably kick his ass, but don't want it to come to that) hit on my gf about a week ago. She was nice, and actually he had asked her out like a year before that, and she had turned him down then too. Anyway after she told him she had a boyfriend he walked off. He's a ****y mofo though, and he keeps sort of speaking to her discreetly when I'm not there or looking another direction.

I guess what I'm looking for is tips to kill this jealousy i'm building up before she sees it and ultimately loses interest.

 

[WestCoaster]

Fighting over a gal does two things:

1. It shows the girl that SHE'S in charge and once you do that, she's got you by the b-lls and you'll never have any control in the relationship again. She knows the slightest attention her way and you'll go nuts and that you're a silly, little, insecure, jealous fool.

2. It shows how much of an AFC you are. A confident man is proud his woman gets hit on because that means she's hot. If she accepts a date or anything else from the guy hitting on her, she's not for you.

A confident man can live with or without his woman as he knows there are others out there.

First sign of AFCness and lack of confidence: jealousy.

No matter how tough you are on the outside and no matter who you could beat up doesn't matter if your inner game is insecure and jealous.

 

[speedo_meme]

good post, as usual west...

Thankfully I haven't shown any jealousy or AFC behavior yet and can cure it before it surfaces...

 

[WestCoaster]

I've never done this, but it would be interesting:

Next time a guy hits on your gal, smile and say, "Well, she is dating me, but she's often hit on because as you can see, she's smoking hot."

That way you get in a nice compliment to your girlfriend and your inner game shines out and the guy is shocked how confident you are in the situation and he backs off.

You win two different ways!

* Then again, it might not work, but it might be a nice experiment.

 

[MightyMate]

If guy comes ot my woman she tells hi mto **** off. If he gets back im coming and beating him up.

 

[WestCoaster]

Ha! Your woman is thinking that you're not tough, but insecure and she'll cheat on you like crazy because she knows you won't get angry at HER, you'll be stupid and get mad at the wrong person, which is the guy.

You've just surrendered all power and control of the relationship to the woman because your inner game is weak, soft, and AFC.

Your methods will get you an assault charge and put your woman in control. The woman won't be impressed by your machoness, she'll be laughing inside that she now has you completely by the nuts.

You've watched too many stupid Hollywood movies.\

Your method is dead man walking -- remember, no one cares how tough you are.

 

[MightyMate]

Yup if woman doesnt tell a guy who comes to her that 'she has a bf' or that he should '**** off' it means You sho get mad on her. If she tell guy so, and he comes back anyways, it means You can help her and beat him up as hes not understanding words.

 

[Colossus]

There are times when fighting is necessary, but rarely so.

Here is my protocol for situations like this:

If a guy hits on my girl without knowing she is taken, I dont really care, so long as isnt touching her or being a perv.

If a guy hits on my girl KNOWING that she is taken, then I have a problem.

-I would start by calmly approaching this ****hole and saying "She is spoken for. You need to back off." No clenched fists or anything, but he will know that I am serious.

-If he still has the audacity to approach her again, in front of me or behind my back, then all bets are off. AFC jealousy my ass, at this point. That's a flat out slap in the face, and someone is going to get dropped on their head.


A man needs to defend his woman. If your girl is inviting or enjoying another guy's advances, then your issue is with her.

 

[AbsoluteFreakinChump]

Be careful...

Or you can calmly take your gurl by the hand and lead her out of the venue to some other fun place.
Although I sympathise I don't think the cop will when he arrests you for assault. Do you wanna
goto jail and be bubbas *****? Unless your gf is
being physically attacked, you can be arrested.

Originally posted by Colossus
There are times when fighting is necessary, but rarely so.

Here is my protocol for situations like this:

If a guy hits on my girl without knowing she is taken, I dont really care, so long as isnt touching her or being a perv.

If a guy hits on my girl KNOWING that she is taken, then I have a problem.

-I would start by calmly approaching this ****hole and saying "She is spoken for. You need to back off." No clenched fists or anything, but he will know that I am serious.

-If he still has the audacity to approach her again, in front of me or behind my back, then all bets are off. AFC jealousy my ass, at this point. That's a flat out slap in the face, and someone is going to get dropped on their head.


A man needs to defend his woman. If your girl is inviting or enjoying another guy's advances, then your issue is with her.

 

[flexion_]

Its never acceptable to fight over a woman.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by Colossus

A man needs to defend his woman.

From what?

Is your b!tch so devoid of original thought she cant tell him to piss off? Contrary to Hollywood very few men stick around after the chick actually says "fvck off you loser I'm not interested"

Colossus your reply was extremely weak and chumpish and should be striked from all sosuave history that it was ever written, I'm disgusted.

I'll tell you the same thing I told that chump jariel

Originally posted by ( . )( . )

Save it gallant knight for when she actually really needs it, bruises, contusions, broken bones etc etc. Until then wake up to yourself and stop wasting everyones time with this piffle.

And some more words of advice, never use the phrase "shes spoken for", no chicks are ever spoken for, even wedding rings means game on in this day and age.

Westcoaster nailed it as far fighting over b!tches is concerned.

 

[DJDamage]

If you would have been spinning more plates, you wouldn't have to worry about that. If the b1tch wants to leave you then good riddance you got other women to go out with. Every day there is a chance somewhere out there (when you are not around) your gal will be approached by another guy. You can't be there all the time and even trying to deal with is a waste of time.

If you are in LTR and the guy hits on her and she doesn't at least say "no thanks I have a boyfriend" then you kick her out to the curb and go out to sarge other women.

You cannot control the other guy or worry about the other guy. Its how your women behaves and your reaction to it that you can control.

DjDamage

 

[Colossus]

First of all, I never said I would crack a guy for simply hitting on my girl. You guys are masters of misinterpretation. When I say "a man needs to defend his woman", I'm not speaking in the context of approaches or sarges from other dudes.

I said what I did because my girl in particular has had problems with guys who DONT leave her alone, despite her telling them to stop. Some guys can be creeps and push the envelope to a new level. When my girl tells me she is getting scared and this guy wont listen to her, then at that point it becomes my business.

I would never let it come to blows UNLESS she was either harassed physically, or joe blow ignored my fair warning, which has never happened anyway.

And ( . )( . ), I dont need your "words of advice". When I see that little symbol next to a post I disregard it as garbage.

 

[Omni]

Tell the guy, "Hey man, she already made her yearly donation to the Clueless Losers of America Association, so move along."

 

[Slickster]

Wow!

Getting all worked up over a guy hitting on your girl? How lame guys.

The problem isn't the guy hitting on your girl. (If you're dating a looker then that is happening ALL the time. Especially when you're not there.) The problem is your lack of confidence.

The advice for this situation is dependant on what type of girl you are dating and what your relationship is like. There are alot of different guys around here who have different relationships so the situations can be very different.

For example.

a) Your girlfriend is attractive and she knows it. She's the type that usually wears revealing clothing that attracts alot of attention from men. She feeds off of this attention. She may be a loyal girlfriend but if she is being flirted with then she will reciprocate.

b) Your girlfriend is attractive but is confident enough about herself that she doesn't need to be constantly seeking male attention. If you go out together she'll usually dress up nice but not so "slvtty". She doesn't have to. She's confident and has your attention and that is sufficient. If she's being flirted with she'll most likely brush the guy off.


For situation a) you really have to ask yourself why you are getting into a serious relationship with this type of girl . This type will cause you constant headaches if you are the jealous type. On the other hand if you are confident enough to keep a woman like this then chances are you got your shyt together and don't need any advice here.

For situation b) you've got yourself a good girl. She's loyal and you should feel confident about your relationship. If a guy is hitting on her then this is your chance to be Joe Fricking Cool. Don't think of it as a negative. Use the opportunity to increase her interest level in you.

Here's a sample of what I do....

(Actually, when I'm at a social gathering I'm usually the one chatting with other women and its my girlfriend coming over to check on things. The best defense is a good offense. )

Anyway.....

I'm at a party with my girl. Do I spend the night latched on to her? No way! Its a party I'm there to socialize. I won't ignore her but I'll definitely give her loads of space.

So from across the room I see some dude hitting on my girl. I take note but don't react immediately. Instead I usually take the time to observe how my girl is reacting to the guy. Its funny because most times your girl will pretend like she's totally oblivious to the fact that she's being hit on. "Oh he was just being friendly" she'll tell you. Uh huh. In general though almost all girls love male attention and even if they are loyal to you they will be friendly at least to any guy hitting on them.

If it continues for quite some time I'll usually finish my drink and slowly make my way over there. If possible I try to approach the two of them so that "his" back is to me and she can see me approach. As I get closer usually her eyes will meet mine and buddy who is hitting on her will realize that something else has caught her attention. He'll usually turn to see what it is. (Here is a little twist that won't always be an option but its fun. Though not necessary.)

If you approach him from behind but a little to the side then when your girl looks at you THAT is the direction that buddy is going to turn. If you time it right, the moment that he begins to turn, you quickly step to the other side of him and pass right by. You greet your girl with a big smile, an embrace, and maybe even a kiss. If you do it right buddy will turn to see who's there and as you pass by you can make him do a full 360 degree turn only to find you embracing the girl he was just hitting on. Chumped! (Even if he doesn't 360 he'll turn his head enough that when he turns back you'll be there embracing your girl.)

So there you are between buddy and your girl with your back to him. After your greeting slowly turn to chump boy with a big smile. Say "Hey how's it going" and introduce yourself. Get his name. Small talk briefly and then say that you are going to get another drink and ask your girl if she needs anything. Look him in the eye, say "nice meeting you ______" and go about your way. Make sure you say his name. If your girl wanted a drink then fetch it for her but don't hang around. Drop it off maybe slip her another kiss and head off socializing. (Optional - Go find some other hottie at the party and get her laughing her a$$ off. Guess who will be along shortly checking on you? )



What you accomplish by doing this is that you completely out alpha the guy. You stake claim to your territory by showing your girl affection but not in an aggressive or insecure way. Instead you display confidence by introducing yourself and being friendly.

The fact that you walked away from the situation helps your cause too. If you were to stick around then chump boy will realize that his attempts are threatening to you and he may use your insecurity against you later. By walking away you display full confidence in your relationship and that can really take the wind out of chumpboy's sails. Your display of confidence, charm, and kindness will impress your girl as well.


Now there are situations where things are a little more serious. Occasionally you may come across a guy who just doesn't get it or maybe he's overly persistent and forward. Most times these guys will try to make you look bad or may say some shyt to insult you. Whatever you do don't react. In fact don't even look at the guy. Get yourself between him and your girl and turn your back to him slightly. (Watch your back though.) If you continue ignoring him he'll usually try harder to get your attention. By ignoring him you effectively out alpha him as he is failing to get your attention. Smile confidently at your girl, roll your eyes showing her how you feel about chumpboy and say "Come on I've got something I want to show you." Calmly lead her away.



If a guy does something particularly nasty to your girl by all means pop the guy. But if he's just showing interest then take it as a compliment and give your head a shake. Your girl is desirable and guys want her. Duh!

Don't lose your cool. Use the opportunity to display how cool you actually are.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by Colossus


I said what I did because my girl in particular has had problems with guys who DONT leave her alone, despite her telling them to stop.

BULLSH!T!! More garbage.

"has problems" Unless shes socially inept shes quite capable of blowing other guys off without your help believe it or not.

"Has problems" with male attention? yeah riiiight you keep telling yourself that.

I'll say it again, unless shes being PHYSICALLY assaulted YOUR being played for a chump .

 

[WaterTiger]

Getting in a fight over a girl is just silly. We aren't in Middle School any more! You don't have to push Bobby off the monkey bars because he told your girl Shelly that she was pretty!

If the standard "I'm sorry, I'm with someone." line doesn't work then the "BARTENDER? CAN YOU CALL A BOUNCER! THIS JACKA$$ IS HARRASSING ME!" usually makes them go a way.

 

[Colossus]

Slickster, good post and I see where you are coming from. I will definitely employ that attitude from now on.

 

[speedo_meme]

OK, for an update, this guy AGAIN hits on my gf yesterday at the gym. He discreetly will try to talk to her when I'm across the gym and stuff. He knows we're together, but still he persists. She said he wants to come get his hair cut by her, see, he's trying to be sneaky and not ask her out straight up. Guess there's really nothing I can do but trust her.

My question is, how do I NOT look like a chump in the gym by acting indifferent? I've played it very cool and haven't shown an ounce of jealousy. She complains about the guy and makes fun of him. HOWEVER, she is friendly and who knows if she's inviting his advances. It doesn't seem that way. She told me to come over there next time he starts talking to her. Who knows, she may be sh1t testing me too.

This is a ****y mofo too, and it's like Colossus said, it's almost a slap in the face when everybody knows I'm with her, yet he keeps talking to her, and I'm not doing anything, because it would look AFC. I guess the thread should have been called "out-alphaing over girls".

If it happens again, should I go over and calmly introduce myself and play it by ear? Or should I take up the issue with her? I don't think she cares for him a bit, but he gives her attention which I think she sort of enjoys because it gives her leverage because girls hit on me in there too...

 

[MightyMate]

Say shes not allowed to cut his hair. Dont be a *****!