Fighting back after losing a bar fight?

[mzplk]

Long story short,
I came to a bar with a friend to celebrate some guy's birthday I haven't seen in a while. One of his friends mistook me for some random dude coming into "their circle", and (after pretty much waiting under closing) KO'ed me outside and bounced. (I was down just for a few seconds, but pretty drunk and didn't lay a finger on him. Next morning, I wake up without a scratch, no hangover, and nothing to show for it. Iono how people can seriously fight when they're drunk; for me that feels like too much work).

This wasn't an entirely random dude (although I've never seen him before), and I kinda feel like finding him and kicking his ass :box: (let's see him try repeating that when I'm sober; I'll wipe the floor with his ass! ).

Problem is: I don't want to get in trouble with the law. Not something good for my current job. It's one thing to have settled it at the time it happened, another thing to settle it days later...

On the other hand, I can't get quite get rid of the feeling that something is just left unresolved. I didn't do anything to merit this (I was pretty much ignoring him the whole time and chilling with everybody else. Worse, I guess I'm not so much of a fighter when I drink). Plus, what if I see him again?

This ever happened to you guys?

 

[TRSX]

Was it over something important? Sounds like not. I would say leave it alone -

I've actually learned to stop getting "drunk" now when im out, i like a good buzz, but not drunk.

--

IF YOU SEE HIM AGAIN, man up, dont fight unless it comes to it. Act like nothing happened, but dont look like a pvssy just cause hes around. If he says something like "How you like that KO the other night *****.." Then I would probably knock his ass out

 

[BatJuan]

I wouldn't do anything, but I can *kind of* relate.

I was in Las Vegas on my 24th birthday and went to the club with some friends. Clubbing is very familiar turf for me, so it started like any other night. I get to the door and the guy asked how I was; I told him great since it was my 24th birthday. Well that must have signaled that I was trying to con him, because he inspected my ID, talked with his manager, etc, then told me he couldn't let me in. I asked him why and he's like "You know why" and acted like a total a-hole. ON MY BIRTHDAY! Then he drew one of those X's on my hand like I'm fifteen. I wanted to pop him in the face--you don't write $@#$ on another man's body--but I didn't since I still wanted to get into the club. It was the first time I'd ever had an issue getting into a venue, so I was sort of in a state of shock. Plus, since I was an AFC most of my life, I never really broke the rules or did anything wrong, so I was always insulted when people treated me as if I were a bad guy.

I grabbed his manager, showed the manager my license, credit cards, other forms of ID, and then he let me in without issue. I brushed it off as the guy being stupid, but once I got a few drinks in me I wanted to go back and say something (or smash his face in). When I finally left, the guy was gone.

Long story short, nothing ever came of it and I flew back home, but the fact this guy thought he got the better of me pissed me off to no end. I'm a five hour flight away, and for all I know that was the guy's last night on the job, but I was just infuriated for the longest time.

I'd suggest just letting it go as it's all in your head, and nothing positive can come from beating the guy up. If you see him again then I would say something, but other than that, it's really not worth your time.

 

[headFirst]

Just find out his phone number, and sign him up for a bunch of car insurance quotes.. and car dealership quotes. The calls should bug him for a few weeks. Seems like gratification would be ensured there

 

[bigneil]

When you are in your 20's there is testosterone and you will naturally want to beat everyone up, and they will want to beat you up. If you're big and in a new city, it's a territorial thing. An alpha has to fight the other alpha to become alpha. Some tips from a bar fighting traveler:

1) Never pick fights - people have guns and knives and will take your eye out.

2) Only fight in self defense - it's the law.

3) Always land the first punch.

4) Know how it feels to get punched in the head.

5) Reach is everything. If two people go straight at it, the person with the longer arms lands the punch first, and can hold the other person at arms length with the other hand.

6) If someone pulls a gun outside and you have 10 feet - run - the odds that they can hit a moving target are miniscule.

7) Watch out for southpaws and the sucker punch - if you are turning to your right to face someone who is talking trash and they are coming in with a left hook you won't see it - or expect it if you are right-handed and untrained (yes I learned that the hard way). This happened to me in '94 and my date left with the guy who punched me (her ex).

8) Watch out for group fights - I once got in a fight in '97 with one guy and 3 of his friends joined in (with the help of bystanders I won the 4 on 1 fight - with my dream girl watching). Her eyewitness testimony was "All I saw was you push this guy and he went flying - and it took 4 men to bring you down" (handing me her phone number). On the 5 year anniversary of that date I bought those 4 guys a beer and we all talked about old times.

9) The best way to defeat your enemy is to make him your friend. You'll have certain people who flex on you and you want will to fight them, but if you just pat them the shoulder and say you need him on your side, you realize they often become great friends and you'll feel guilty for ever hating on them.

10) It is always wise to back down from a fight, even in a crowd. You will often think back to how you should have stood up for yourself but remember: "You don't want to be dead right".

11) Nowadays the police arrest everyone for everything and every job does a background check. Don't end up in the criminal justice racket system.

12) Keep your body strong and know how to throw a punch. Practice on the punching bag machine (899 is my highest but I saw some guys get 937).

13) Practice punching with both hands (I get 850 left handed).

14) Know how to vault a fence - it's like a pull-up where you go all the way up and over. Being able to do this can save your life.

15) Know how you'll handle a pressure situation - you must live and learn. When adrenaline fires off, time slows down and you will record every last detail but you'll be in a sort of automatic mode where you mainly just react versus think. Then you'll think back on that moment for the rest of your life.

16) A man's character is judged by the decisions he makes in a split second.

 

[Atom Smasher]

There HAS to be more to this story than meets the eye.

You didn't give us the conversation that occured before the beat-down. Did you rile him up in some way? Usually these things are an escalation of words, and the victim can sometimes bear some responsibility for the escalation.

I think we are going to need Judge Nismo here to rule a mistrial for lack of evidence.

Were you drunk, and him sober? At any rate, our advice is worthless because ewe really don't know what actually happened.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

Contact him and find out how he feels about it. Maybe he feels completely terrible and apologizes. If he doesn't apologize I would consider filing a police report. Since you were intoxicated they probably won't do anything about it but it will give him a history if he ever does it to you or anyone else in a bar again.

And I kinda agree there is something else going on that you left out. Even if some random guy barges into a group of my friends im not going to clock him at the end of the night for it.

 

[Bernoulli]

2) Only fight in self defense - it's the law.

3) Always land the first punch.

Just a question; how could it be construed as self-defense if you throw the first punch? Shouldn't the other guy throw the first punch so that, in case of police intervention, you can avoid a criminal record?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Contact him and find out how he feels about it. Maybe he feels completely terrible and apologizes. If he doesn't apologize I would consider filing a police report. Since you were intoxicated they probably won't do anything about it but it will give him a history if he ever does it to you or anyone else in a bar again.

And I kinda agree there is something else going on that you left out. Even if some random guy barges into a group of my friends im not going to clock him at the end of the night for it.

Sir Psycho, I was thinking the same thing about possibly contacting him, but was on the fence about that, thinking it might be making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be. It would be tough for me to just let go without doing anything about it, but as we have both mentioned, more went on than we are being told.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Just a question; how could it be construed as self-defense if you throw the first punch? Shouldn't the other guy throw the first punch so that, in case of police intervention, you can avoid a criminal record?

He said LAND the first punch, not throw the first punch. It is perfectly acceptable self-defense to dodge a punch and give one back.

 

[Who Dares Win]

First thing, try to get some info about what happened, better from witnesses not from the guy who could lie to to avoid a report to the police or make it look as self defence.

According to what you find out, you decide what to do.

 

[Shockwavedave]

Did anyone else see you being punched?

 

[bigneil]

Just a question; how could it be construed as self-defense if you throw the first punch? Shouldn't the other guy throw the first punch so that, in case of police intervention, you can avoid a criminal record?

He said LAND the first punch, not throw the first punch. It is perfectly acceptable self-defense to dodge a punch and give one back.

Correct. In landing the first punch, know that despite what you see in the movies, very few human males can withstand a full punch to the head from another male and not be seriously stunned. However if you are already in adrenaline mode, you'll react more like Arnold in the opening biker bar scene of Terminator 2 where he sort of just turns to look at who just hit him, then throws him several feet. If you were blindsided you might be knocked out. Legally, if they invade your space (coming within spitting distance) that is assault. Assault justifies fear of grievous bodily harm and thus self-defense. You can legally punch them out of your space. But don't get arrested. Get out of there before they call their friends or cops.

 

[SamTheHobit]

When you are in your 20's there is testosterone and you will naturally want to beat everyone up, and they will want to beat you up. If you're big and in a new city, it's a territorial thing. An alpha has to fight the other alpha to become alpha. Some tips from a bar fighting traveler:

1) Never pick fights - people have guns and knives and will take your eye out.

2) Only fight in self defense - it's the law.

3) Always land the first punch.

4) Know how it feels to get punched in the head.

5) Reach is everything. If two people go straight at it, the person with the longer arms lands the punch first, and can hold the other person at arms length with the other hand.

6) If someone pulls a gun outside and you have 10 feet - run - the odds that they can hit a moving target are miniscule.

7) Watch out for southpaws and the sucker punch - if you are turning to your right to face someone who is talking trash and they are coming in with a left hook you won't see it - or expect it if you are right-handed and untrained (yes I learned that the hard way). This happened to me in '94 and my date left with the guy who punched me (her ex).

8) Watch out for group fights - I once got in a fight in '97 with one guy and 3 of his friends joined in (with the help of bystanders I won the 4 on 1 fight - with my dream girl watching). Her eyewitness testimony was "All I saw was you push this guy and he went flying - and it took 4 men to bring you down" (handing me her phone number). On the 5 year anniversary of that date I bought those 4 guys a beer and we all talked about old times.

9) The best way to defeat your enemy is to make him your friend. You'll have certain people who flex on you and you want will to fight them, but if you just pat them the shoulder and say you need him on your side, you realize they often become great friends and you'll feel guilty for ever hating on them.

10) It is always wise to back down from a fight, even in a crowd. You will often think back to how you should have stood up for yourself but remember: "You don't want to be dead right".

11) Nowadays the police arrest everyone for everything and every job does a background check. Don't end up in the criminal justice racket system.

12) Keep your body strong and know how to throw a punch. Practice on the punching bag machine (899 is my highest but I saw some guys get 937).

13) Practice punching with both hands (I get 850 left handed).

14) Know how to vault a fence - it's like a pull-up where you go all the way up and over. Being able to do this can save your life.

15) Know how you'll handle a pressure situation - you must live and learn. When adrenaline fires off, time slows down and you will record every last detail but you'll be in a sort of automatic mode where you mainly just react versus think. Then you'll think back on that moment for the rest of your life.

16) A man's character is judged by the decisions he makes in a split second.

Great advice!

 

[spang]

im not sure i understand...did the guy sucker punch you from nowhere? in that case find out where he works, find his car, and key "*****" his door.
as far as one on one fighting goes, only tip i can add is in a street fight there are no rules, so you have to be nasty and unpredictable. study up on where to hit people, the vital points. gouge eyes, pull hair, throat grab, fish hooking, kick to the nuts, anything goes. and the only way to win is to attack, defense does not win. make maximum damage with mininal effort. this way you can beat a physically superior opponent. you have to beat your opponent by thinking.
get a heavy bag and practice at home, thats what i do. it help your speed and punching power. you can also find a buddy to spar with, that builds endurance.
martial skill is something i feel every man should have.

 

[BigSmooth]

I've gotten into my fair share of bar fights; granted they were all in college bars.


However, bar fights are getting more and more dangerous. As more and more people become increasingly more apathetic, you will see guns and knives pulled out the second they think someone is trying to threaten them/their girl/their friends/their space.

The dangerous thing is that these people aren't afraid of shooting. They are drunk to the point that they aren't thinking logically about the consequences of their action, and they WILL shoot up the club/bar.


Avoid conflict if you can, and this is coming from a guy that personally believes that violence IS the answer to some problems.


I would suggest you just drop it, or inform your friend (the birthday guy) about what happened and who that guy was and maybe file charges.



For anyone that DOES get in a bar/club fight though, and there are NO weapons (pretty rare nowadays), having knowledge of how to fight is the difference between you being crowned the champ and you kissing the ground.

Most of the time the people you are fighting will be pretty sloppy either due to a) they are drunk b) they don't know how to fight c) a combination of the two.

Knowing how to correctly throw a punch and evading attacks is vital.

I thank my many years of training in martial arts for a lot of my wins.

 

[Mr.SomeoneElse]

I agree with BigSmooth and the general consensus of 'its just not worth it'

Before moving to the city i'm in now I came from the murder capital of Canada and even then I was raised really poor so my family lived in the worst part of the city. (multiple people got stabbed a year in the alley I had to take to school, everyone was on welfare, lots of drugs etc..)

I got jumped all the time through middle school and eventually went into boxing because I was sick of it.
After turning legal age to drink I used to always get into bar fights because my tolerance for anyone who acted like the scum that would jump me would decrease after each beer.
SO with that I got into lots of bar fights, I have a permanent ban from a few clubs etc..

One time I was at a house party on new years and a friend of mine ( wouldn't even say that, just an acquaintance ) was being pushed around all night by this lanky guy trying to get him to fight him.
I got in the middle of it and tried separating the the guy i knew to calm down and the lanky kid to just stop, at this point that ****er pushed me and I decked him in the face a few times until his friends and my friends all jumped in.
At this point the whole house was shaking, there was blood on the walls, and girls were crying and the new years party was ruined and broken up by the police.

I don't really know what the proper way to act in that situation is, maybe I shouldn't have hit him, I'm not sure.
but I did ruin a really good party that was going on and I created some sort of life long rivalry with this guy.

I come back to visit every christmas and now because of my inability to be the bigger man and swallow my pride I can't go to all the clubs my friends go to because of my permanent ban and every time I see this guy a fight breaks out.
Last one being at another party, I left with a girl to go home and he rushed me with 6 of his friends across the street from the house. Luckily one of my friends was outside and got my friends to go and break it up, I got a few kicks to the ribs but nothing serious and it would have been way worse/serious if I didn't know how to roll like I learned in boxing since one of the guys was swinging with a bottle.

Bottom line, fighting isn't worth it, i'm slowly learning that, and I definitely recommend joining boxing, even if its just for 6 months you get massive cardio gains from it and high stress situations like a fight start seeming like slow motion, its really hard to explain, but you're able to keep yourself safe when you're up against a inexperienced fighter or a sloppy drunk.
But OP if you go after this guy to get even, you're just going to start one of these rivalry's that I did and its a big ***** in the future, he's already somehow related to your friend group, so chances are you will see him in the future and when this happens its a toss up on which one of you will have more friends with you.

 

[here_to_help]

I don't worry about fighting. I do carry pepper spray but other than self-defense, I would just call the police and ruin his record. Will prevent him from getting a job for years, seeing him serve you at McD's priceless

 

[gspshields2]

Long story short,
I came to a bar with a friend to celebrate some guy's birthday I haven't seen in a while. One of his friends mistook me for some random dude coming into "their circle", and (after pretty much waiting under closing) KO'ed me outside and bounced. (I was down just for a few seconds, but pretty drunk and didn't lay a finger on him. Next morning, I wake up without a scratch, no hangover, and nothing to show for it. Iono how people can seriously fight when they're drunk; for me that feels like too much work).

This wasn't an entirely random dude (although I've never seen him before), and I kinda feel like finding him and kicking his ass :box: (let's see him try repeating that when I'm sober; I'll wipe the floor with his ass! ).

Problem is: I don't want to get in trouble with the law. Not something good for my current job. It's one thing to have settled it at the time it happened, another thing to settle it days later...

On the other hand, I can't get quite get rid of the feeling that something is just left unresolved. I didn't do anything to merit this (I was pretty much ignoring him the whole time and chilling with everybody else. Worse, I guess I'm not so much of a fighter when I drink). Plus, what if I see him again?

This ever happened to you guys?

What is your weight and height?

You got owned no excuses, you can't fight, its pretty obvious.

 

[TonyBaloney]

This is an awful amount of disrespect.

I couldnt sleep at night knowing that I innocently got slapped and that the dude could be found.....

If it were a random punch up and it kinda got put down to a boozy night, then fair play, but they being connected to you like that.....I would get in touch with your bud, and tell him you want the guys number. Call the guy, and tell him that he's a **** weasel and that you will NEVER forget this, and you will be actively seeking revenge in the way of giving his mother, sister and new girlfriend anul sexx ASAP.... fook him bud - get your fookin revenge!!!!!