For me the movie had a clear message. Not about self destruction or the mind-numbing, consumer driven society we live in these days, but about change and the associated fear.
Regret and fear are my enemy. And if there is one thing that people these days fear more than anything, it's the fear of losing everything they have! Because they are convinced that everything they have, is everything they are.
In the movie the behavior of the characters may seem self destructive at first glance, but i really think there is more to it than that. I think it's more about renewal, recreating yourself in to something better and stronger, than it is about self destruction.
Think about it. Was Tyler durden not better off towards the end of the movie than he was before that? I mean sure, he ruined his career, he blew up buildings and ruined countless properties, yes it was a big price to pay. Even in the movie, you can see that closer to then end, when the real damage is being done, he wants to stop himself from continuing on his path of destruction because it's a price he is not willing to pay.
He was not willing so his alter-ego paid it for him and paid what he had to pay to change himself. Because that is what the movie is really about! The change of Tyler Durden from what he was (bored, depressed, frustrated, without goal or purpose and hopelessly attached to the things he owned) to what he became at the end of the movie (free, confident, strong, a leader and detached from impermanent and useless crap).
It's the story of one mans journey towards becoming who he wanted to be. And this one man stirred up a bunch of dust on his path (lol). The movie sent the clear message that you CAN change, you just have to want to change and have to be willing to do whatever it takes! Fear, doubt, disbelief, we have to let it all go and just roll with it! And fortunately for us, we won't have to blow up buildings and set up a nationwide cult of nutjobs to change ourselves.
And he didn't just recreate himself, but many other in the movie did so as well. They changed their pathetic lives around to a point where they were more happy and complete. However you view their lives in the movie, they were happier because of the pain and effort they went through to change themselves. Whether it's 'wrong' what they all did or not is irrelevant, this is fiction, a story! The underlying truth and message of the movie is not "go all out and do whatever you want and blow sh1t up and you'll be free to do anything"... nah, for me it was "you have the power to change in to who you want to be, if you have the strength to do whatever has to be done".
Well if some beat down, depressed, skinny, insomniac has the strength to change, so do i!
Now I'm not saying that this movie flagged a crucial understanding in me that i had the power to change. That would be overestimating the movies power, but i will say that for me it was reinforcing and the message was clear.
Asside from the message this movie held for me, it was also amusing to watch a strong male rolemodel at work (Tyler Durden), even if he was a little screwy in the head ;-).