Duamutef
Banned
Yo everybody. Let me tell you about my wonderful night out 'sarging'.
I was in my college room all alone, chatting on the Internet. A beautiful lady I knew on this chat just finished telling me something similar to this:
"You should quit trying to convince me to meet you, I want to take the lead of this situation, and it will take time for me to decide what to do."
Bullshyt, if you ask me. At this point of the evening i said to myself: ''What the fvck, Sam, you should get out of this building, it's saturday night. You cannot stay inside here, it's too sad, isn't it?''
So I got out, and decided to go sarging a bit.
I enter this nice pub, that's called Murphy.
Spot a nice lady directly after the door, which was sitting at the bar. I remember her face as I saw her buying something at the local market this same morning, and laughed with her at her clumsy attempts at speaking italian. I said:
''Hi honey, do you remember me? We met this morning!''
She gave me a really cold stare and told me: ''Excuse me?''
I said: ''We met at the market, you were buying (insert useless crap inside here), weren't you?''
She said: ''Yeah, I remember. By the way, I'm here just to have a drink, please don't try picking me up."
I said... no wait, I said nothing. My face was kinda emotionless, but it was hard to bear.
By the way, I'll be damned if I lost my temper, and my will!
I saw a nice group of chicks. There where five of them, so I grabbed my balls and started a little conversation with them. It soon came to my mind they did not give a fvck about me. They were obviously trying to have a good time together, and they quite succeeded, because they did not even answer all of my questions, acted bored and exacerbated all the time, basically never giving me the time of day. Obviously enough, I moved along.
I dediced to approach a group of girls that sat at a table with two guys.
I asked: ''May I seat here and speak with you?''
They uttered something, so I assumed it would be safe to seat with them.
Almost istantly one of the guys gave me the coldest stare known to man and said something like: ''We thought you were asking if you could take the seat away with you.''
I said: ''I'll just take the seat, thank you. What's your name? My name is Sam...''
He said: ''I've never seen such a thing, a person we do not know gets between us and takes a seat.''
I answered: ''My friend, it's a bar - it happens all the time.''
He was with a friend and three chicks; one of them was actually his girlfriend. I talked for a bit with them, but I saw my wit and my conversation was pretty pointless with them. I was funny as always, but they were just waiting for me to go away. So I did it and left them alone.
I moved along, taking another drink. I spotted a nice girl near me, so I introduced myself and asked for her name. She gave me a pitiful stare and uttered her name. I said: ''Sweetie, you should be more loud, it's noisy inside here.'' Angrily and with arrogance, she repeated her name, looking at me with mockery. She also said ''Hey, Lucy (her friend), this loser is bugging me, give me a hand getting rid of him.'' I said to myself: ''Oh my god, this sorry bytch may be experiencing some kind of heavy PMS, but what the fvck, I don't give a shyt. I tried to seat with her and Lucy at their table, kindly asking their permission. There was also a stereotyped post-adolescent jock with a naziskin haircut and trimmed eyebrows, which prompty said something like: ''Get the fvck out of here.'' I answered something like: ''I don't think I've got it. Are you drunk?'' - he answered again: ''I'll kick your ass if you don't move along, I'm not joking.'' He even started something like a countdown. I said something like: ''That's the kind of people you go out with, lady? That's so tame.'' and backturned.
By the way, I went to the upper floor and spotted a friend. He was sitting with another guy and two other chicks. I said: ''Hello there, (friend's name), how are you.'' - he answered: ''Oh, you see, this is a particular situation, I almost think you should leave.'' I normally would have spitted on his face, but I was kinda proved by the wonderful streak of exciting failures I got, so I decided to do him a favour and not only got far from that table, but abandoned the whole pub.
Being not too late, I decided to visit another place, called Huntsman Pub... I met a group of swiss guys and girls and befriended a pair of guys. When I tried to speak with the ladies, they were quite cold - one even told me: ''Please, leave me alone, I'm really tired...''
At a certain point a nice blonde started giving me a strange look, like the one puppies have when dinner time comes; at a point she even winked at me. This was a big confidence boost, I almost forgot all the preceding little tragedies. By the way, soon I realized she did this little trick to everyone she saw. Someone swiftly informed me she's kind of a crack wh0re. I said to myself: ''Fvck that, Sam. Don't tell me you didn't expect it.''
The only creature who actually allowed me to have a decent conversation was a fat, ugly girl from Sweden. She was so sweet and kind, but I could not help thinking that she was so nice to me because of her obvious desperation.
Quite exhausted, I decided to play a match of pool and leave.
On my way back home, I saw a nice lady who walked all alone. Without knowing why, I said: ''A little cold, isn't it, gorgeous?'' She did not even turn her face to look at who was speaking at her...
Needless to say, tonight was quite a weltkrieg for my confidence. I'm not feeling suicidal right now just because I don't give a fvck about social life anymore. I'm gonna become absorbed in finishing becoming an aerospace engineer. As they always say, love comes when you least expect it. It's bullshyt, but I'll pretend to believe in it until I do something useful with my life.
Oh, now that I think of it, I collectioned well more than 10 rejections, all in the course of a night stand. I could join the Bootcamp! Wow! I can't wait!
...make me know your opinion about this. At least in time for me to actually care about tonight anymore. Thank you, friends. See ya soon.
I was in my college room all alone, chatting on the Internet. A beautiful lady I knew on this chat just finished telling me something similar to this:
"You should quit trying to convince me to meet you, I want to take the lead of this situation, and it will take time for me to decide what to do."
Bullshyt, if you ask me. At this point of the evening i said to myself: ''What the fvck, Sam, you should get out of this building, it's saturday night. You cannot stay inside here, it's too sad, isn't it?''
So I got out, and decided to go sarging a bit.
I enter this nice pub, that's called Murphy.
Spot a nice lady directly after the door, which was sitting at the bar. I remember her face as I saw her buying something at the local market this same morning, and laughed with her at her clumsy attempts at speaking italian. I said:
''Hi honey, do you remember me? We met this morning!''
She gave me a really cold stare and told me: ''Excuse me?''
I said: ''We met at the market, you were buying (insert useless crap inside here), weren't you?''
She said: ''Yeah, I remember. By the way, I'm here just to have a drink, please don't try picking me up."
I said... no wait, I said nothing. My face was kinda emotionless, but it was hard to bear.
By the way, I'll be damned if I lost my temper, and my will!
I saw a nice group of chicks. There where five of them, so I grabbed my balls and started a little conversation with them. It soon came to my mind they did not give a fvck about me. They were obviously trying to have a good time together, and they quite succeeded, because they did not even answer all of my questions, acted bored and exacerbated all the time, basically never giving me the time of day. Obviously enough, I moved along.
I dediced to approach a group of girls that sat at a table with two guys.
I asked: ''May I seat here and speak with you?''
They uttered something, so I assumed it would be safe to seat with them.
Almost istantly one of the guys gave me the coldest stare known to man and said something like: ''We thought you were asking if you could take the seat away with you.''
I said: ''I'll just take the seat, thank you. What's your name? My name is Sam...''
He said: ''I've never seen such a thing, a person we do not know gets between us and takes a seat.''
I answered: ''My friend, it's a bar - it happens all the time.''
He was with a friend and three chicks; one of them was actually his girlfriend. I talked for a bit with them, but I saw my wit and my conversation was pretty pointless with them. I was funny as always, but they were just waiting for me to go away. So I did it and left them alone.
I moved along, taking another drink. I spotted a nice girl near me, so I introduced myself and asked for her name. She gave me a pitiful stare and uttered her name. I said: ''Sweetie, you should be more loud, it's noisy inside here.'' Angrily and with arrogance, she repeated her name, looking at me with mockery. She also said ''Hey, Lucy (her friend), this loser is bugging me, give me a hand getting rid of him.'' I said to myself: ''Oh my god, this sorry bytch may be experiencing some kind of heavy PMS, but what the fvck, I don't give a shyt. I tried to seat with her and Lucy at their table, kindly asking their permission. There was also a stereotyped post-adolescent jock with a naziskin haircut and trimmed eyebrows, which prompty said something like: ''Get the fvck out of here.'' I answered something like: ''I don't think I've got it. Are you drunk?'' - he answered again: ''I'll kick your ass if you don't move along, I'm not joking.'' He even started something like a countdown. I said something like: ''That's the kind of people you go out with, lady? That's so tame.'' and backturned.
By the way, I went to the upper floor and spotted a friend. He was sitting with another guy and two other chicks. I said: ''Hello there, (friend's name), how are you.'' - he answered: ''Oh, you see, this is a particular situation, I almost think you should leave.'' I normally would have spitted on his face, but I was kinda proved by the wonderful streak of exciting failures I got, so I decided to do him a favour and not only got far from that table, but abandoned the whole pub.
Being not too late, I decided to visit another place, called Huntsman Pub... I met a group of swiss guys and girls and befriended a pair of guys. When I tried to speak with the ladies, they were quite cold - one even told me: ''Please, leave me alone, I'm really tired...''
At a certain point a nice blonde started giving me a strange look, like the one puppies have when dinner time comes; at a point she even winked at me. This was a big confidence boost, I almost forgot all the preceding little tragedies. By the way, soon I realized she did this little trick to everyone she saw. Someone swiftly informed me she's kind of a crack wh0re. I said to myself: ''Fvck that, Sam. Don't tell me you didn't expect it.''
The only creature who actually allowed me to have a decent conversation was a fat, ugly girl from Sweden. She was so sweet and kind, but I could not help thinking that she was so nice to me because of her obvious desperation.
Quite exhausted, I decided to play a match of pool and leave.
On my way back home, I saw a nice lady who walked all alone. Without knowing why, I said: ''A little cold, isn't it, gorgeous?'' She did not even turn her face to look at who was speaking at her...
Needless to say, tonight was quite a weltkrieg for my confidence. I'm not feeling suicidal right now just because I don't give a fvck about social life anymore. I'm gonna become absorbed in finishing becoming an aerospace engineer. As they always say, love comes when you least expect it. It's bullshyt, but I'll pretend to believe in it until I do something useful with my life.
Oh, now that I think of it, I collectioned well more than 10 rejections, all in the course of a night stand. I could join the Bootcamp! Wow! I can't wait!
...make me know your opinion about this. At least in time for me to actually care about tonight anymore. Thank you, friends. See ya soon.
