upcoming_DJ
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2018
- Messages
- 136
- Reaction score
- 38
Hey guys!
so i've posted several times on this forum about my experience so far with my "girlfriend".
I was warned and given so much great advice on here! and along with reading heartiste and rollo tomassi, I have understood so much and amazed at how accurate this information is. It's like you can see women do something now, and more or less you can see their intentions. you remove so much of the pedestalizaiton and idealization you were conditioned with.
I had shared some red flags with the members of this forum, the biggest one was that this girl had daddy issues (grew up without a dad since she was 7 and witnessed her mom beat her alcoholic father many times until throwing him out of the house, literally).
Everyone told me this would be the biggest deal breaker and I would soon find out why.
well i read a lot of borderline personality disorder and I've seen a lot of signs that she may be one, or definitely in the cluster b zone.
she use to joke that she is crazy! and for the first few months I thought she was joking indeed, until with time that hazy "honeymoon" period began clearing up and I was seeing her for who she is.
well, i've had a gut feeling that something has been off for the last 2 months. and I was well aware of it, I did not ignore it.
So i began sifting through her social media and I realize she has this one guy who she follows on both her personal and business account. I got the guy's # and added him on whatsapp. I turned on my last seen for about 3 weeks now and i've been monitoring them. It's scarily accurate how active they are on whatsapp. Literally he or she comes online, the other comes online, and come off at the same time.
Anyway, I went against advice and I told her that my gut is telling me something and I do not like the feeling. So I dropped a nuclear bomb and asked her who these guys are (I mentioned 4 names, of her ex lovers that I knew about and I could see her face and hear her nervousness through the phone, I kid you not!). I am sure she was shocked. Anyway, when she shared about 3 of the guys. When i got to the guy I highly suspect she is seeing or began talking to, she immediately went "Yuk! him?! I do not even know that guy!". So I told her I find it interesting that you're following him on all his accounts on facebook on instagram from all your accounts!" she said "I think I only have him on facebook". So I said no, you also have his # stored in your phone!". She then tried to lie (WOMEN LIE BLATANTLY!) and said "oh, that's because once we did a photoshoot for [local company] and he was a model in the photoshoot.". So my red flags went up. This changed quickly. From I don't know him to admitting she knew the guy. So i continued to probe. Then she said "yeah I contacted him few days ago from my business page to offer him shirts for a concert he's attending (the guy posted tickets that he won to the concert and she has a business with printing shirts and stuff) so perfect lie?!?!
so I knew then that she was lying and she was caught like a deer caught in a bright head lamp. She continued to negate knowing this guy. she denied every single bit. Then she told me "and you're worried about him?! if I were you I'd be worried about the other 3 guys!". That did it for me. That was the last straw.
I just want to make mention that I kept my frame. I did not talk to her from a needy or insecure place. I told her that there's her, me, and then the relationship. I said your actions will not affect me, it will affect the relationship. And I reiterated that I am happy and ready to walk away if I find out a single ounce of proof because I would not allow it.
Well, I broke up with her via text on sunday evening. All I said was "do not call me. take care!"
well, the girl has been going bonkers. She has literally tried to called me about 70 times already. She has sent me countless text messages. some of them like "if you don't tell me why or what this is I will do something really stupid right now!!!!!" and some other ones that is clearly showing her cluster b disorder or abandonment fear.
Funny thing is, all this while, she is still online the same time with the guy I am talking to her about. She has not unfriended or unfollowed the guy on social media. She knows what is bothering the relationship.
I've read "hypergamy doesn't care" and "the medium is the message" and also "the desire dynamic" from Rollo Tomassi. I stick through to these concepts.
I did not try to negotiate and neither did I beg her.
Now she is threatening that she will come this weekend to look for me because "I am hers!!!!" and that she is not giving up on me!
well guess why? the clear reason is this: she has $1,000 USD invested ($2,000 our currency) into a trip we had planned for Argentina! that's the only reason I believe she is going bonkers.
Besides she would want to save face as she has recently introduced me to her family (including her mom!) who all said it's the first time she's ever brought a guy home. She's 28 for reference.
she has all the signs:
Well, usually my blue pill mindset and idealization would have me crying and hurting like crazy.
I am quite happy I made this decision.
if anything, I will offer her to go on the trip with me, hit it one more time and then let her go for her own sake.
I want to thank everyone who have submitted feedback on my field reports and bestowed great advice on this forum!!! i truly appreciate it!!
cheers
so i've posted several times on this forum about my experience so far with my "girlfriend".
I was warned and given so much great advice on here! and along with reading heartiste and rollo tomassi, I have understood so much and amazed at how accurate this information is. It's like you can see women do something now, and more or less you can see their intentions. you remove so much of the pedestalizaiton and idealization you were conditioned with.
I had shared some red flags with the members of this forum, the biggest one was that this girl had daddy issues (grew up without a dad since she was 7 and witnessed her mom beat her alcoholic father many times until throwing him out of the house, literally).
Everyone told me this would be the biggest deal breaker and I would soon find out why.
well i read a lot of borderline personality disorder and I've seen a lot of signs that she may be one, or definitely in the cluster b zone.
she use to joke that she is crazy! and for the first few months I thought she was joking indeed, until with time that hazy "honeymoon" period began clearing up and I was seeing her for who she is.
well, i've had a gut feeling that something has been off for the last 2 months. and I was well aware of it, I did not ignore it.
So i began sifting through her social media and I realize she has this one guy who she follows on both her personal and business account. I got the guy's # and added him on whatsapp. I turned on my last seen for about 3 weeks now and i've been monitoring them. It's scarily accurate how active they are on whatsapp. Literally he or she comes online, the other comes online, and come off at the same time.
Anyway, I went against advice and I told her that my gut is telling me something and I do not like the feeling. So I dropped a nuclear bomb and asked her who these guys are (I mentioned 4 names, of her ex lovers that I knew about and I could see her face and hear her nervousness through the phone, I kid you not!). I am sure she was shocked. Anyway, when she shared about 3 of the guys. When i got to the guy I highly suspect she is seeing or began talking to, she immediately went "Yuk! him?! I do not even know that guy!". So I told her I find it interesting that you're following him on all his accounts on facebook on instagram from all your accounts!" she said "I think I only have him on facebook". So I said no, you also have his # stored in your phone!". She then tried to lie (WOMEN LIE BLATANTLY!) and said "oh, that's because once we did a photoshoot for [local company] and he was a model in the photoshoot.". So my red flags went up. This changed quickly. From I don't know him to admitting she knew the guy. So i continued to probe. Then she said "yeah I contacted him few days ago from my business page to offer him shirts for a concert he's attending (the guy posted tickets that he won to the concert and she has a business with printing shirts and stuff) so perfect lie?!?!
so I knew then that she was lying and she was caught like a deer caught in a bright head lamp. She continued to negate knowing this guy. she denied every single bit. Then she told me "and you're worried about him?! if I were you I'd be worried about the other 3 guys!". That did it for me. That was the last straw.
I just want to make mention that I kept my frame. I did not talk to her from a needy or insecure place. I told her that there's her, me, and then the relationship. I said your actions will not affect me, it will affect the relationship. And I reiterated that I am happy and ready to walk away if I find out a single ounce of proof because I would not allow it.
Well, I broke up with her via text on sunday evening. All I said was "do not call me. take care!"
well, the girl has been going bonkers. She has literally tried to called me about 70 times already. She has sent me countless text messages. some of them like "if you don't tell me why or what this is I will do something really stupid right now!!!!!" and some other ones that is clearly showing her cluster b disorder or abandonment fear.
Funny thing is, all this while, she is still online the same time with the guy I am talking to her about. She has not unfriended or unfollowed the guy on social media. She knows what is bothering the relationship.
I've read "hypergamy doesn't care" and "the medium is the message" and also "the desire dynamic" from Rollo Tomassi. I stick through to these concepts.
I did not try to negotiate and neither did I beg her.
Now she is threatening that she will come this weekend to look for me because "I am hers!!!!" and that she is not giving up on me!
well guess why? the clear reason is this: she has $1,000 USD invested ($2,000 our currency) into a trip we had planned for Argentina! that's the only reason I believe she is going bonkers.
Besides she would want to save face as she has recently introduced me to her family (including her mom!) who all said it's the first time she's ever brought a guy home. She's 28 for reference.
she has all the signs:
- reckless behaviors (spending, crazy sex)
- very impulsive
- depressive
- suffers anxiety
Well, usually my blue pill mindset and idealization would have me crying and hurting like crazy.
I am quite happy I made this decision.
if anything, I will offer her to go on the trip with me, hit it one more time and then let her go for her own sake.
I want to thank everyone who have submitted feedback on my field reports and bestowed great advice on this forum!!! i truly appreciate it!!
cheers
