FIELD REPORT: Speed Dating

[Genghis Juan]

I went on a speed dating adventure last night from the 8 minute dating company function in Boston.

It went pretty well from the start. As I was waiting for the event to begin, I made EC with a HB7 at the end of the bar and we hit it off pretty good. I pulled the entire convo big time, I made sure all she did was talk about herself. The only slightly annoying thing was that she laughed at the end of every other sentence. Anyways, after about 10 - 15 mins. of convo, I number-closed and she gave me her cell #. She moved here from Michigan so her cell # still has the Michigan area code. We'll see how that goes. I suggested a coffee date sometime.

The event begun, and the first half consisted of four 8 minute dates with people randomly selected. Here is how the first half went:

1. Girl was a 4 or a 5. Lame. Harvard girl.
2. Girl was a 4 or a 5. Lame. Also a Harvard girl.
3. Girl was a 5 or a 6. Not too interested as she seemed either boring or uninterested.
4. Girl was a 3 or a 4. Horrible.

So, the half time intermission began. I was feeling a little worn down so I went to the bar to get a drink and fresh up for the second half. I was hoping that in the second half things would turn around. There was a raffle and I won a ****ty t-shirt.

So the second half began and here it went:

5. Girl was a 6 to 6.5, but seemed really jaded and cynical.
6. Girl was a 7 to a 7.5, was definetly my favorite type physically (athletic, blonde). Definetly interested.
7. Girl was a 7, interested, but she seemed a little dull.

(At this point, fatigue started to settle in during the seventh date. Asking the same questions, starting small talk, so it was getting harder to concentrate.)

8. Girl was a 6 to a 7. But super-conservative from Wellesly College. She seemed like an elitist.


Anyways, later on that night, I logged into the website and listed the last four girls as people I'd be interested in meeting again. I'll give you guys an update on my leads in the coming days if I hear anything. I also registered for another 8 minute dating event next week.

My conclusion is that this could my niche and one of my main channels to meet women. Being 28yo and working and going to B school, this is a quick and easy way to meet people. Online dating I don't think is my thing because of all the BS you have to cut through just to finally meet someone, and then during the encounter, you may find out the person is a fake.

 

[Genghis Juan]

Update 2/11

Ok, just recieved a response from the blonde girl that I was interested in the most, she was number 6. So I will contact her tomorrow or something for a coffee date sometime during a weekday. So far so good!

 

[SDBmania]

Cool, I like the idea of speed dating. The only problem for me is that I still live with my parents and most of the ones in my area are for men and women 25 and up and for people with "professions."

 

[Genghis Juan]

Update 2/12

The girl that I met at the bar, before the speed dating begun and who gave me her cell#, agreed on a coffee date this Saturday afternoon. So the number was real and she hasn't given me any flakiness....yet.

I emailed girl #6, the blonde that I matched with, asking her for a coffee date next Wednesday. The only oddity about this situation is that this girl lives in the same neighborhood of town where an HB9 lives that is REALLY flaking on me. I told that HB9 that I wasn't dating anyone else (yeah.. i know....BIG BLUNDER on my part....must have been my d**k talking and not my DJ-ness.) Its just that this HB9 dates me about once per month, we hardly talk and had the fortitude to tell me that if I wasn't comfy with that pace I could "move on to another girl, I would understand"....

 

[Genghis Juan]

Update 2/13

OK, something happened with the HB9 that I have beed seeing once per month. About a few weeks ago, I bought a new cell phone and transeferred contact info from the old phone to the new manually; couldn't figure out how to transfer electronically. Anyways, over the next few weeks, some people whose numbers I haven't memorized, acquantences were mixed up! One such number is HB9 with an acquantence (guy) I used to work with. One such morning at work, I use my cell phone as a phone book because I don't get a signal, I went to call this guy acquantence and I let the phone ring (at about 8am on a Fri.), thinking I'm calling him at work. Well, I girl answers the phone....and I hang up. I start thinking that maybe I transferred the damn numbers wrong....

So later on at home I realized that HB9's home # is listed as my friend Jim!! To make matters worse, HB9 had told me she would be on a business trip in Vegas that day...so she shouldn't have answered the phone anyway!! And to make matters even worse, is that she may have caller ID and knows what company I work for and figure it was me "checking on her".

So I layed low with no contact for about 2 weeks. Until I tried to email her at work the other day and it got rejected, stating a security policy. So I called her at home the other day, connected, and left a cool calm message just wishing her well and we'll keep in touch.

I emailed the tech support at my B school abuot the error message I got from her email and they told me that it was her server rejected/blocking me. So, now because of my blunder, I painted myself in a corner with this HB9. I am not sure what I should do at this point. I would like to keep her in the "pipeline", but I am not sure what move I should make next....

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

if u never called her from work before how does she know that that cell number is tied to you - I'm confused??

Don't sweat it too much, you didn't commit a mortal sin! Who cares what the hb9 hor thinks. I guess you do, after you met only HB6's speed dating.

I can't do speed dating I'm too picky on face and body!

 

[Genghis Juan]

Update 2/16

Hey all,

Well I went on a coffee date on Saturday afternoon with the girl I picked up at the bar before the speed dating began last Tuesday. She is about my height 5'10'' and she was wearing two inch heels so I was busy looking up at her. She is a fair skinned brunette...but something about her doesn't spark anything in me. I would rate her at about a 6 to 6.5. She talked about 80% of the time, quite the chatter box. After about close to two hours of that, I cut it short and told her I had errands to run, etc. At the end of the date I told her "We'll be in touch".

Now...I am not sure of her IL in me, but my IL in her is pretty low. I think I'll give her one more date, a light date, maybe to a muesuem where I won't have to spend an evening with her. I'll give her one more chance to dazzle me with something. I'll also make a move at the end of the second date...I am not sure what she is looking for....If she is just looking for a fling then I'll pursue a little. Otherwise I won't waste my time.

The blonde HB7-7.5 that I exchange contact info with (emails), has yet to respond to my email asking for a coffee date on Wednesday. If she doesn't respond in time, I'll give it another shot from another email address.

Finally, the HB9 that I have on the back burner has yet to get back to me. Since I have come a long way with my skills (though still more to go), I want another chance to really dazzle her with my humor.

Unfortunately, this Tuesday's speed dating event in downtown Boston is full and I couldn't get in. So I registered for another one in March; Im on the waiting list, hopefully I'll get in. I'll also be sure to look for a few other speed dating events in town.

In the meantime, I am also going to scope out other intentional channels to meet women on a regular basis. Perhaps I'll change gyms to a more trendy one in a posh suburb nearby and join a dance or aerobics class....

I will also work on being suave in conversation with everyone I can meet whenever possible, to increase my chances of meeting women during my travels.

 

[Genghis Juan]

Update 2/18

Damn, this board is getting addicting.

Anyways, just set up a non-dinner date for Friday night with HB6.5 that I met at the bar b4 the speed dating thing. Were going to a muesuem.

The HB7.5 that I met at the speed dating thing that hasn't responded; I will send her another email from another one of my email accounts next week to give her a second chance to respond. Maybe she went away or something.

Already feeling more balanced and cool & calm now that I have a new chick in the pipeline.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Go with the momentum..and don't let it stop...you're on a roll!

We're here to hold your hand if you need us, in a non-romantic way of, course!

 

[DankNuggs]

What speed dating service did you use in Boston? Seems like its all college girls, be just as good running around in faneuil hall....

 

[Genghis Juan]

Dank,

I used 8 minute dating. Go to the events in town with the age group in the 20's and you'll meet these kind of women. You in Beantown?

 

[Jay Fiedler]

"Already feeling more balanced and cool & calm now that I have a new chick in the pipeline."
-------------------------------------

This is a major problem and probably the largest reason you are struggling. You are letting your happiness, self worth, and general stress level be dictated by whether you are dating anyone or not. Until you can let go of that and be happy being by yourself, your low confidence, clinginess, and anxiety will show very apparently to the women and your game will suffer. You must let go my young jedi, let gooooooooo.

 

[Genghis Juan]

Thanks Jay,

You're definetly right on there. As a budding DJ-Jedi, part of my strategy of controlling my mind and emotions around women, particularly with ones I like, is to "get out there", and fall off my horse. Sweat and bleed until I build enough callus around my mind and heart, like a martial artist, that I will be disciplined and controlled.

I like that though...I'll be thinking that on my date tomorrow, "let gooooo"

Need a woman I do not. Women replaceable are they.

 

[DankNuggs]

Genghis - I'm from Boston, I have a buddy who lives in Southie that recommended doing the speed dating thing. He is 27, I'm 24, have a feeling I might be under the cusp of age they are looking for. (I have alot more going for me than your average mid to late 20 year old) but in any case, I'm thinking of giving it a try for the fun of it...