field report; single party

[scordate]

thought I give an insight to what happened at a single party

( longish post but I am asking for advice at the end ! )

it was my first single party, and to be honest I had been out the night before so I almost didnt bother to go, but it was prepaid, so..... ;-)

there were about 30 of each sex
the arrangers had made sure about that

funny enough the girl tickets were sold out way before the guy tickets so obviously girls must like these kinda single parties ! food for thought !

we were greeted with a welcome drink and of course nobody really knew anybody; girls seemed to come in 2's and 3's and I noticed that they stand mostly in girls only groups like in old days in junior high and the guys linger around the bar !

based on the guts that this forum has given me, I resolutely walk over to the biggest girl group and bust them on this; "Hey - what IS this - 7' grade ?" they all laugh and I keep asking them, do they know eachother ? have they been to single parties before etc

i ask the girl who said she had been here before; how the party ends and she replies well I went home at 4 in the morning so I bust her and say; I didnt ask how the party ended for you but how the party ends, does it transfer to another location ?

could have done this better in hindsight but they were not up to conversation
too shy so I move away targeting others

food for thought - I was the only man doing this

so we have dinner and after each course change places so we meet as many new faces as possible

conversation is forced untill the girls have gotten enough wine inside !

one woman has tattoo on lower arm i take opportunity to kino her about that

but she is a smoker so I am not that interested, but I play up and get her laughing loud several times ( this is good, cause other women will notice that )

luckily I find a wing man sitting opposite me and we continue to make fun of the ladies at our table

my force is 'words' and talking but he expertly picks up on all cues I leave him !

so we gotta change table to meet girls from other table and these girls are way more fun ( wine ? ) so we go on busting them flirtacious

i use my old trick of deliberatly misunderstanding anything

we should have a thread here about lines / words that can be misunderstood;

fx in my native language we have 2 such beauties, in translation:

"is everything ok ? " sounds like "are you a good lover" ;-)

and

"What are you studying" sounds like "do you masturb@te" ;-)

OK OK its completely lost in translation ! ;-)

when first the girls are tipsy you ask them this and watch their reaction; if she gets annoyed you just look innocently and ask; whats the matter I only asked you <insert innoncent sentence>

but most if not all girls will play along with the thoughts behind the sentence !

so there is this girl who responds and laughs out right of the sheer audacity so I flirt a bit with her busting her whenever I can

fx. (and thanx for the idea found on this forum); She says something about having to get home early so I act indignated and say; we havent even danced and you are already inviting me home ? why some girls are just big-flirters !

the others at our table watch in awe as I chat this girl up ( and funny enough she is not what I would call my type - a bit overweight etc but nice face )

my wingman just sits and learns !

so she says something about something being difficult, (noise level is high at this time) so I say; hey dancing is not difficult, come on let me show you ! so we go out and dance and have plenty of kino there

we stop after 2 numbers too warm and the DJ apparantly wont play anything slow ( bummer ! )

so we go outside ( her lead ) and we talk a bit outside

she works at a place where a good buddy of mine is actually her boss !

I bust her and kino her but really dont make a serious move

just getting a lotta practice kino and busting wise

so we go back to our table, sits down and she initiates holding my hand

so we start kissing and kissing, lots of french, and I use the fingers through her hair and caressing her neck and cheeks a lot and she likes it A LOT

basically we make out there a lot

other couples are still just dancing not even smooth-dancing and we sit there and french kissing a lot

we continue to smalltalk while or rather between kissing and I caress her neck, back, face, shoulders arms all the time

I joke her saying; you know I never have sex on a first date and she just smiles sweetly and continues to kiss

this girl is heavy into kissing !

she doesnt want her clothes 're-arranged' ;-) in public so I make it a big point in all the time pulling her dress-shoulder straps back onto her shoulders and pulling her blouse down to her skirt
;-) when skirt got pulled a bit down she takes my hand away , I say oooops how did THAT happen - she laughs and we just continue kissing

i all the time explore her touch borders always caressingly not grobingly

it takes some time to get to her tits, mainly because she reacts surprisingly heavy to having my hand caress the area from neck down to top of bra

at one time she started sighing deep, breathing hard, moans a bit, while I caress that area ( funny - never really had THAT strong reaction to THAT area before - but hey, you learn everyday ) !

she lets me get a little bit closer to her nipples each time but still at the last moment takes my hand; so I joke her; you really like to hold hands, huh ?

also bust her; "you know its not dangerous 'downthere'" she smiles halfclosed eyes and whispers; no - its just too good !

so I finally get down inside her bra to the nipple, still french kissing her and this time she starts breathing deep and heavy again, a bit moaning, and even pulls away from kissing so i just caress her face, lips, neck and let her moment take its time

girls have been faking the big o for centuries but either that or she is a good actress

she even mentions something about "that was lucky" so I bust her back; "luck had nothing to do with it"

I can feel that we have kinda done what can be done for that evening so we break up, leave the party, and she gives me her number down on the street

i volunteer my number, but she says; no need; i'll call her, right ?

we have a long kiss good bye down at the corner


so while the other couples were dancing I was making out in the corner

surprisingly for a single party there was not much kissing etc


so what to do with this girl ?
I dont want to go AFC on her but I do want to treat her nice and decent

she could easely ( i think) be what has been named a " stage girl " in this forum, sort of a f*ck-friend

she is a bit overweight and I dont see her as LTR and exclusive value

but else she is great; well educated; nice disposition, fun to be with

funny; but actually the classic overweight, fun to be with girl

so I need some advice on how to deal with this;

I could say

1. hey this is what happens at a party, so long
2. i dont think that this has long time value but we had a good time, so lets see how much more good fun we can have ok ?
3. i want to be honest with you - I am seeing other girls, but we def. had a good thing going saturday night, so lets see what happens, ok ? - no strings - no commitments


PS. have a sore shoulder blade from chair last nite ! remedy ? find soft comfy chairs ! ;-)

/ scordate

 

[al77]

Originally posted by scordate

so I need some advice on how to deal with this;

I could say

1. hey this is what happens at a party, so long
2. i dont think that this has long time value but we had a good time, so lets see how much more good fun we can have ok ?
3. i want to be honest with you - I am seeing other girls, but we def. had a good thing going saturday night, so lets see what happens, ok ? - no strings - no commitments
/ scordate

I am having hard time getting that: You like her but reject solely due to her weight? I dont get it, why do you want her to be skinny - you want to show off you got a perfect gf?
Well, ok, but for me I either like her or not, i.e. weight was never an issue.

Anyway...I would not say to her anything. Whatever you say it would saound like an offer to be your fvck buddy. No woman would accept that in a sober state.
Just proceed... have fun.. do what you want to do.

 

[scordate]

hi al77

i understand what you are saying and i've been rethinking this during the day

i have always had some (too ?) high standards on women

so what I basically am saying is that I feel that i lowered my standards with this one

but hey; beauty comes from within and true enough; some of the 'model'type' women can be regular *****es cause they have had everything served on a plate

will call her tomorrow and set date
should be fun she is one terrific kisser

/ scordate

 

[al77]

Originally posted by scordate

i understand what you are saying and i've been rethinking this during the day

i have always had some (too ?) high standards on women

You know, I am still curious... what do you really mean by "high standards"?
Those standards relatively easy to describe: lean, blond, pretty etc etc. But, what is it there for you? Why do you want to have somebody who meet the standards?

For me they just dont exist - If I like a girl, it doesnt matter what's her weight or hair color.

I am thinking "standards" have to do with peer pressure that see often see in women. By choosing somebody who is of high standard we can easily show off to people "Hey, look at me I got the best gf!"

I just think it doesn really make much sense - to get a gf such that I can show off with her....

 

[gixxer]

I agree about wanting to be with someone fun and good personality, etc. I personally couldn't get past her being overweight though. I like very thin girls and every time I try to date someone that isn't my type because of their GREAT personality I end up unhappy - or WORSE once or twice I've been rejected by someone that didn't meet my standards LOL

If you can set up fvck buddies and have fun with her once in a while do it - but be true to yourself and don't settle.

gixx

 

[scordate]

gixxer;

....right-ho and then I wanted to know

how do you set up a fvck-buddy ?

( never done it - therefore I ask )

i presume going direct is not wise ?

so you just let it happen
and stay un-committed ?

/ scordate

 

[gixxer]

To paraphrase David D: don't be direct with a woman about anything unless it's no.

I think the best way to go about it is to not take her on dates. Have her over to your house for a movie or take her shopping with you and then :woo: back to your house for sex. Don't call her often and don't let her sleep over.

She'll figure out that you just want sex and then she can keep seeing you or not.

This is a really interesting topic to me as I'm in the process of setting up a "harem" for myself and trying to avoid relationships at all costs. David D talks about a concept where you envision women orbting you and you being the center of their universe while they are only a small part of yours. I think this applies here as you want to have no attachment to her whatsoever and set it up so that if she wants to see you it's on YOUR terms.

Do you see how being "direct" or "discussing" it with her achieves the opposite effect. You're asking her for permission to be her fvck buddy which is the opposite of the frame you want to establish. If a woman is a guy's fvck buddy it's because that's all she can get from him even though she may want more. I also think that on some deep level women want to be "abused" as a fvck buddy because the whole idea of sex without commitment is dirty and slutty to them and, therefore a turn on.

Maybe you should post a "how do I set up fvck buddies" thread? I'm sure there are guys on here that know more about it than I do.

gixx

 

[iveyleeger]

scordate, I think you have a FB potential in this one. gixxer summarized it well enough. Let us know how it works out.

 

[Julian]

good report id like to check out a singles type thing sometime for the experience...but that entire time i read that i was just envisioning you making out with a fat girl so i stopped reading.

 

[scordate]

julian;
please do NOT have visions of me making out !
;-)

and she is not fat, but chubby !

to rest;
i've set dinner date for wednesday with her, so i'll guess we'll see what happens then

when we set date over the phone today, we quickly drifted into the flirt-talk we had while making out

she is quite a flirt with words too


i think that fvck-buddy advice should be a thread

/ scordate

 

[Oblivious]

If you have no real interest in her why play with her emotions like that? Why even waste her time? If you want a F%ck buddy just be up front. If she is down, she's down if not so be it. At least give her the choice rather than playing with her emotions like that. You guys kill me always talking about how a girl has done you wrong, yet you have no problem with doing the same thing. Thats why this world is so friggin messed up. Would you want someone to do that to you? Don't get me wrong, I am sure that there are women who would be cool with the whole notion. But at least give the choice to get into the situation. Not just be in the situation because you've managed to get her emotions wrapped into you.

 

[Snatchmaster]

Good job at the party. I think Gixx has it right with....

being "direct" or "discussing" it with her achieves the opposite effect. You're asking her for permission to be her fvck buddy which is the opposite of the frame you want to establish. If a woman is a guy's fvck buddy it's because that's all she can get from him even though she may want more. I also think that on some deep level women want to be "abused" as a fvck buddy because the whole idea of sex without commitment is dirty and slutty to them and, therefore a turn on.

Of the stories women tell me, they tend to want more. You must lead her down the path and shut the gate so to speak, unless she is liberated and open-minded, as scandinavian women reputedly are so. Then, perhaps you could have a discussion about how you don't want anything serious, but think you two can have fun together without the 'labels' that society puts on people when they pork.

In this post, Oblivious is speaking as one of the oppressed. Pay her no mind unless you would find yourself feeling guilty for leading this girl on.

I think Al77 is a dyke. Looks do matter. But if this girl is looks good enough that you can shoot your load, perhaps she is not so bad.

Reminds me of a friend who goes to the club on friday nights, gets drunk and ALWAYS takes home the fatties at closing time. Saturday mornings are filled with shame and regret.
Such a good catholic....