Field Report: Getting there

[Konada]

Had a date with a HB7 on Tuesday, here we go:

<Monday before date>
HB7 has went ghost on me since last Thursday, 9pm I get a text:
Hey our conversation died at day 4 haha! Anyway...so we're supposed to meet tomorrow, are we still gonna?

Konada: Yup. Saving my questions for tomorrow. See you.

<Tuesday>
So Tuesday rolls along and I text her the usual 'Don't forget to wear something cute, NAME' (Thanks BITG for this one) She replies 'I'll try <emoji>' I don't respond.

I turn up to the ice cream shop and she's late. She turns up and well, let's say she's good at taking them angle shots. Probably dropped from a HB8 to HB7. Anyway I don't make much of it, I stand up, welcome her and we sit. Usual hello greetings all that shyt, apparently the shop was shorthanded on that day so I had to help myself and her for the menus (Bad I know), we share a banana split and started talking.

I couldn't get a good read on her interest level although she suggested us going out for ice cream prior, so when she asked me a usual boring question 'So what did you do today?' I immediately went into troll mode and teased her 'Oh god, I didn't think that I signed up for an interview today.' She laughed, okay pretty good. Began sharing some thoughts on the place (It was a childhood place for me), usually it hooks girls pretty fast but this one isn't biting... Probably too nervous since I'm dressed to nines. Last try... So we had usual talking, abit of teasing and banter. Nothing too substantial and it was obvious I was fvcking up really badly. She paid for the ice-cream, I had the cash physically out but she nudged my hand out of the way with her money already out. (Thoughts?)

Next, we headed to the roof terrace of the place, by golly I was expecting more of a view but nevertheless it made for good place for conversation. I noticed she was bumping into me alot while we were making our way up so that's a good sign. Did some light kino, no reciprocation but no resistance. Okay, we made more convo for a short while and then we got up to take a walk. Offered my hand but she said 'Nah I'm good.' Probably a test, my gut feeling tells me. Thought nothing much about it, continued walking. Its quite obvious she likes me, constantly bumping into me.

I lay off the kino for awhile as we walk, teasing her abit, telling her about my army life. She seems pretty interested in learning more about me. I turn the convo back at her and we get flirty banter going on, with her punching me and me pushing her away when she said something really cute. Soon enough, I had my arm around her. We finally settled at a nice spot with a view of the bay area, truly beautiful sight and started playing '**** Marry Kill' on the people there. Was fun, could tell she was really interested with our legs touching, my arm around her neck, her swaying and bumping into me, playfully slapping me and touching my thighs. One point of time she asked me 'How many relationships do you have in the past? Excluding flings' (Test?). I replied 'I don't kiss and tell.' She pushed further so I made up some BS of me having one relationship (when I never had any), but not looking for anything serious at the moment, more of a go with the flow kind of guy. Apparently she starts qualifying herself to me, telling me that she isn't looking for a relationship as well and how the previous guy was smothering her way too early into the dating phase for a relationship and she ignored him.

With my arm around her neck, I let the convo die, looked deeply into her eyes and lips and leaned in...Obviously she was ready for a kiss but she was playing hard to get the entire time, game on. I pulled back and smiled at her. 'I know that look, you want to kiss me so bad.' With that, I cut the date short and suggested we part ways. I think she was really flustered by this move because in the end when we were parting ways, she mentioned twice that 'she wasn't giving me the look'.

Texted her when I'm on the way home 'And henceforth you shall be known as 'THE RACIST' (Inside joke) Let me know when you get home safe '

HB7: I'm home. I enjoyed tonight, thank you <insert blushing emoji>'

<FR END>

Let's see how this one turns out. So far I haven't responded to her last message.
HIt me with your best shot guys, critique as much as possible. I'm ready for the hurt.

 

[Konada]

Actually she asked questions about my army life which is why I shared it with her. Btw I pulled back just about when we're about to kiss...Not sure where you got that she rejected me, except for me offering my hand.

Thanks for the advice though, I wanted to make sure she got home safe since it was late.

 

[stevo]

So overall you did good, your confidence seem to have dropped during the date but again overall you kept your cool. You shouldn't be in your head so much, enjoy the date, she came out to perform for you, not the other way around.


As for kissing, it's good to tease but you also have to go for the kill. This is a fail.

She wants it, you want it, so right move would be to tease by being so close your lips touch, you stare in her eyes, wait a few more seconds then you kiss.

Instead, you tested the waters, she showed her interest and you backed away.


Lastly, the text. Follow up text after a date is the girl's move. This is a fail too.

Your move is to initiate date, her move is to appreciate the date, You ended up doing both.

Don't initiate, when she does be flirty, ask for second date, make the second date more intimate and for the love of all that is horny, be more aggressive.

I wanted to make sure she got home safe since it was late.

You do not care if she got home safe, not now, too early.

Live and Learn.

 

[Mr Wright]

Been on a fair few first dates this year and my instincts are also saying it's a no. But it is good practice for you. I think it's clear that you don't think this girl likes you. I always assume that if she's turning up on a date that she's into me, no matter what. At this point you don't need to worry about if she likes you or not, you want to start seeing what she's all about. I think it's best to develop your own style of dating that fits your personality and is actually effective because there is more than one way to skin a cat. From the way it reads, you didn't really know what you were doing from one moment to the next, so whilst it's important to stay fluid, keep that fluidity within structure. For example, all my first dates are very similar in length, activity, the vibe I have, how much I give away about myself and the amount of escalation. The variables are things like the topics of conversation, each of those will be unique to the girl but you can still keep that within a structure.

- You said you were fücking up really badly, how so?
- Why did you cut the date short when she didn't kiss you?

 

[Konada]

Been on a fair few first dates this year and my instincts are also saying it's a no. But it is good practice for you. I think it's clear that you don't think this girl likes you. I always assume that if she's turning up on a date that she's into me, no matter what. At this point you don't need to worry about if she likes you or not, you want to start seeing what she's all about. I think it's best to develop your own style of dating that fits your personality and is actually effective because there is more than one way to skin a cat. From the way it reads, you didn't really know what you were doing from one moment to the next, so whilst it's important to stay fluid, keep that fluidity within structure. For example, all my first dates are very similar in length, activity, the vibe I have, how much I give away about myself and the amount of escalation. The variables are things like the topics of conversation, each of those will be unique to the girl but you can still keep that within a structure.

- You said you were fücking up really badly, how so?
- Why did you cut the date short when she didn't want to kiss you?

Conversation didn't flow much at first. It was not later into the night then things started to amp up. I suggested drinks after being on the rooftop but she says she doesn't drink with people she just met. Its a personal thing for me to enjoy activities together so I didn't push it any further and instead we went for a walk.

I had stuff going on the next morning so I had to cut it short, not really about her not kissing me. Date length is 2 hours.

 

[Konada]

So she said she's busy with no counter-offer. Critique my game.

 

[stevo]

Move on.



How many times did she initiate?
What was the longest period you both went without communication?

 

[Konada]

Move on.



How many times did she initiate?
What was the longest period you both went without communication?

4 days. I just hit her up just now for a date. I'm not really salty over being rejected, just more concerned what am I not doing to warrant a day 2.

 

[stevo]

Post the text convo.

Did you double text at any point? Did she ever initiate? (even if its a response to a msg you sent the previous day).


If narrowed to one thing I will say over-eagerness. Curb your enthusiasm, be more optimistic, be natural and always fondle a beech.


In my experience, actively trying to increase interest level drives it down and vice versa.

 

[Konada]

Post the text convo.

Did you double text at any point? Did she ever initiate? (even if its a response to a msg you sent the previous day).


If narrowed to one thing I will say over-eagerness. Curb your enthusiasm, be more optimistic, be natural and always fondle a beech.


In my experience, actively trying to increase interest level drives it down and vice versa.

She did most of the initiating, in fact she was the one who suggested going out so I must've fvcked up somewhere on the first date.

Here's my follow-up text after the date 4 days later:

Konada: Looking at a creepy guy miserably hitting on girls at a bar now and immediately thought of you
HB7: Duddee....... xD
Konada: You act like its a bad thing. Free this wed/thurs evening?
HB7: Well its not a good thing either. Nope, I will be out of town.
Konada: Ok

 

[stevo]

She did most of the initiating, in fact she was the one who suggested going out so I must've fvcked up somewhere on the first date.

Here's my follow-up text after the date 4 days later:

Konada: Looking at a creepy guy miserably hitting on girls at a bar now and immediately thought of you
HB7: Duddee....... xD
Konada: You act like its a bad thing. Free this wed/thurs evening?
HB7: Well its not a good thing either. Nope, I will be out of town.
Konada: Ok

Oh that's not bad. You'll hear from her again.

In the meantime, do not initiate.

 

[Mr Wright]

Whilst this one is done, I think you need to go out and get a larger sample size. If you date 5+ girls and you notice them having the same reactions, you have found something you can work on. But to analyse one girl is actually pretty pointless, there could be any reason why she's not interested. Keep this experience and go and date more girls.

 

[Lozboss]

Good work OP.

Chalk this up to a loss. Delete number and never contact again.

Personally when I was going through a phase of no second dates-

1. I was being insecure (just post relationship)- NOT kissing her and then leaving was a stupid move. If she's down for a kiss, kiss her and then leave her with that as the last thought of you.
2. Focus on her- just ask questions, give away NOTHING, even if she asks. Keep it short. She will finish the date intrigued and want to have another date.

The 'I don't know about this one' vibe always gets you another date.

I used to be in sales and you know what worked everytime- the more you were in front of a client the more relationship you built. That wasn't length of time- it was frequency.

It's a game- objective of date 1 is two fold:

1. Kiss (if possible) and/or build a spark
2. get a second date

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Good work OP.

Chalk this up to a loss. Delete number and never contact again.

Personally when I was going through a phase of no second dates-

1. I was being insecure (just post relationship)- NOT kissing her and then leaving was a stupid move. If she's down for a kiss, kiss her and then leave her with that as the last thought of you.
2. Focus on her- just ask questions, give away NOTHING, even if she asks. Keep it short. She will finish the date intrigued and want to have another date.

The 'I don't know about this one' vibe always gets you another date.

I used to be in sales and you know what worked everytime- the more you were in front of a client the more relationship you built. That wasn't length of time- it was frequency.

It's a game- objective of date 1 is two fold:

1. Kiss (if possible) and/or build a spark
2. get a second date

I typically will kiss in date, within the first 30 minutes, then progressively escalate further from there, including taking her hand and placing on your d!ck while you are making out with her. Stole that one from Guru1000, but its worked everytime I've used it. Always have the woman asking to see me again, and it comes off as being very confident sexually which they like...