Trim,
im glad to see this kind of insight coming from you. You're progressing in your own situation if you are able to think like this now.
women make decisions based on their emotions. and yes, deep down they know when what they are doing is wrong. and yes, they will run to another guy just to hear someone tell them how special and wonderful they are. do they know its all big pack of lies just to get into their pants? yes. do they care? no.
new guy bangs away on them for a few months. the compliments start to go down now that he's tapped that azz. the guilt starts to resurface, now even strong, becuse she's wh*red herself out on top of everything.
woman finally realizes she screwed up her life. tries to get man back. if she fails, she either becomes seriously depressed or becomes a man hater.
this is also why women TAUNT men into emotional outbursts. if you loose your cool and start calling her names or being mean to her, that takes care of any guilt she had. she can easily tell herself "i did what was in my best interest and the best interest of my child. that guys a raving lunatic deep down inside." she will always fail to see any role she had in bringing that lunatic out. it's also a misconception that a man losing it will drive a woman away because it shows immaturity. most of the time, at least with 30+ guys, the woman has vastly contributed to him losing it. and shes done this so that she can then become the "victim" and thereby do whatever the hell she wants to without feeling any guilt over her actions.
that is why the absolute best thing you can do is stay in control of your emotions. act maturely. you can disagree with her course of action all you want, but don't do so emotionally. take an objective stance on it.
Her problems are now HER problems, they aren't yours anymore. the only problem the two of you now share are your kid.
a lot of guys have a REALLY hard time taking on the role of protector only to be rejected by the one they are protecting. it really messes with their mind. many will continue to play the role simply because it makes them feel like they have some value. they will do this until they find out shes banging Leroy from down the street - thats usually when protector turns into attacker.
the thing thats tough to accept in life, but once you do life gets a whole lot better, is that no one ever is obligated to another person. in yesturyears, in more traditional society, people held to their religious oaths. those days are over.
all you ever have to count on with another person now is their belief and value system - thats it. read this line to yourself 10 times over guys, its the key to increasing the odds of picking hte right woman.
the irony in all of this is that in the end its often times the one rejected that becomes thankful for the events that transpire. through pain and suffering they grow stronger, and come to realize that all of their strengths (honesty, love, committment) were wasted on the person that left them. they begin to see that the person who left them were serious messed up, and that they deserve better.
this is usually when dumpee stumbles upon kind nad caring woman and lives happily ever after. and the dumper suddenly realizes the error of their ways and begs and pleads for another chance - or simply continues their decent into a miserable life of tug-of-war relationships.
all tragedies are opportunities in disguise. over time this always becomes clear.
J