Femininity

[The Duke]

If you were to tell a guy to seek a feminine woman and he asked, where do I find such a thing, and what does that look like....What would you tell him?

Do they fall into certain careers? What are the markers you look for?

If you were to compare a woman that married in her mid 20's, had a few kids, and was very caring and nurturing to her husband and children yet ends up divorced to a woman that never had children, has 2 dogs, divorced, low notch count, and works a mid level position but not a career woman, which one would you consider more feminine?

Although I certainly don't want to deal with someone else's kids, I think the woman that had children, stayed at home, took care of her husband and kids is certainly more caring and nurturing which would make her possibly more feminine.

Out of all the single moms I've dated, I've found them to be more caring, nurturing. The women with no kids typically leaned to the selfish, more independent side, less caring. They are more self serving.

What are your experiences?

Is the desire to have children a marker of femininity?

 

[Manure Spherian]

Is the desire to have children a marker of femininity?

Yes, I believe so. I cannot think of something more womanly than a woman raising children and making a home. That’s mostly why I married my wife. Before we got married she said she believed her foremost duty in life was to be a mother.

I don’t mean to be insulting to other men, but when I hear or read about men going into hysterics over drama with women who aren’t the mother or their children, I cannot relate.

If I were to, heaven forbid become a widower, I don’t think I’d be able to ever fully connect with a woman because she is not the mother of my children. Perhaps something serious could develop, but I don’t see it the way.

 

[Nitrozv20]

You have to remember, these women these days have all been groomed to be independent "dont need no man" type of women. A few of the plates im spinning are like this and they actually are genuinely interested in hearing about what society has done. Alot of them play masculine roles just to survive, they have to.

Feminine women are nurturing, kind, complement your life without asking, are able to calm your soul and submissive to your leadership.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Feminine women are nurturing, kind, complement your life without asking, are able to calm your soul and submissive to your leadership.

Have you considered leading a so-called plate to this?

 

[pipeman84]

If you were to tell a guy to seek a feminine woman and he asked, where do I find such a thing, and what does that look like....What would you tell him?

Do they fall into certain careers? What are the markers you look for?

I think most guys innately know the answer to this ... very few would describe an angry, fast talking, short haired woman who works as correctional officer as feminine.

If you were to compare a woman that married in her mid 20's, had a few kids, and was very caring and nurturing to her husband and children yet ends up divorced

No such thing. Doesn't compute.

If you were to compare a woman that married in her mid 20's, had a few kids, and was very caring and nurturing to her husband and children yet ends up divorced to a woman that never had children, has 2 dogs, divorced, low notch count, and works a mid level position but not a career woman, which one would you consider more feminine?

It's like asking: would you rather break your right leg or the left one? It's like asking who's more masculine: Justin Waller or Michael Sartain?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Yes, I believe so. I cannot think of something more womanly than a woman raising children and making a home. That’s mostly why I married my wife. Before we got married she said she believed her foremost duty in life was to be a mother.

I don’t mean to be insulting to other men, but when I hear or read about men going into hysterics over drama with women who aren’t the mother or their children, I cannot relate.

If I were to, heaven forbid become a widower, I don’t think I’d be able to ever fully connect with a woman because she is not the mother of my children. Perhaps something serious could develop, but I don’t see it the way.

most women I’ve been with want children. Regardless of their percieved ‘femininity’.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

My GF is the most ‘feminine’ woman I have ever been with. A classic ‘damsel in distress’ from a 1930’s pulp novel or movie.

 

[Nitrozv20]

Have you considered leading a so-called plate to this?

If a plate is worthy of an LTR she will nurture you and complement your life without you asking.

 

[The Duke]

My GF is the most ‘feminine’ woman I have ever been with. A classic ‘damsel in distress’ from a 1930’s pulp novel or movie.

What indicators stood out that led you to recognize she was feminine when you first started dating her? What kind of career? Was she raised this way?

 

[Manure Spherian]

most women I’ve been with want children. Regardless of their percieved ‘femininity’.

Of course there are women who aren’t feminine. My point was that I believe child raising is the most womanly duty.

 

[Manure Spherian]

If a plate is worthy of an LTR she will nurture you and complement your life without you asking.

I don’t know what this has to do with my question.

 

[Manure Spherian]

It's like asking who's more masculine: Justin Waller or Michael Sartain?

Is this serious? Like, do you think these guys are so masculine?

 

[pipeman84]

Is this serious? Like, do you think these guys are so masculine?

No, of course not. I think they're both jokes, a parody of masculinity. Just like the 2 choices of femininity in OP.

 

[Plinco]

I've had some minor success at getting un-feminine women and teaching them to become more feminine.

 

[Manure Spherian]

No, of course not. I think they're both jokes, a parody of masculinity. Just like the 2 choices of femininity in OP.

I think the same. I actually consider both effeminate.

 

[Redwood]

most women I’ve been with want children. Regardless of their percieved ‘femininity’.

Yeah, especially the ones who see it as a quick hustle.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

What indicators stood out that led you to recognize she was feminine when you first started dating her? What kind of career? Was she raised this way?

Traditional feminine profession. She was raised as a ‘princess’.

 

[Rainman4707]

I would say - take the advice of the David deida in the way of the superior man - focus on your own masculinity. Women look to Men to lead. If we are not masculine, women cannot be feminine. To many men are to quick to point the finger at women.

All you can do is concentrate on yourself.

Maybe this advice is outdated. Be interesting to hear thoughts about that from members who have read and studied the book.

I still think it's the right mentality to have

 

[BeExcellent]

Femininity = religious, shy, modest dressing, family-oriented, virgin, crossed-legs when sitting, no tattoos, 2 earrings, stays at home, wants children, cooks, cleans the house, and lets the man lead.

The complete opposite of what I just listed can be found on POF.

My son is going to marry exactly such a woman this coming June. She is 20. She lost her virginity with my son, he is the love of her life & she wants to be his wife & raise their children. She is a pretty girl, dresses modestly, defers to him; follows his lead. They are religious.

But to make it work with a woman like this a man needs to prepare himself to properly lead a wife & family. My son has done this. To few young men are ready for this kind of leadership, and the party crowd is not where you find these girls.

@The Duke you are looking for a giving woman. They can end up divorced if the husband was selfish, didn't realize what he has & cheats (for example). My sister is divorcing in such a situation after a 27 year marriage. She took the vows very seriously, he thought he could make exceptions to them as he pleased. She found out (unsurprisingly) and is divorcing him on principle. So she will be on the market once the divorce is final & she has had time to adjust. She has no idea what a shjt show dating is, she is not shallow or materialistic, etc. She also doesn't color her hair or do her nails or wear makeup. She never did those things (only for game day as a college cheerleader).

I think she is in for a shock when she starts dating. She is not going to be a sex right away or sex in 3 dates woman either. I'm curious how it will go for her. She was the classic feminine archetype as a young woman.

I'm not sure the average guy in singledom is going to have the patience required to build a relationship with my sister. I worry most will bolt when they find out she's not going to jump into bed right away. I hope I'm wrong.

These women are different. They approach interactions with greater innocense. They expect to be respected. Player types *think* they want a girl like this but are likely to bail when the girl acts from a place of value or character.

 

[SW15]

giving woman....They can end up divorced if the husband was selfish, didn't realize what he has & cheats (for example). My sister is divorcing in such a situation after a 27 year marriage. She took the vows very seriously, he thought he could make exceptions to them as he pleased. She found out (unsurprisingly) and is divorcing him on principle. So she will be on the market once the divorce is final & she has had time to adjust. She has no idea what a shjt show dating is, she is not shallow or materialistic, etc. She also doesn't color her hair or do her nails or wear makeup. She never did those things (only for game day as a college cheerleader).

I think she is in for a shock when she starts dating. She is not going to be a sex right away or sex in 3 dates woman either. I'm curious how it will go for her. She was the classic feminine archetype as a young woman.

I'm not sure the average guy in singledom is going to have the patience required to build a relationship with my sister. I worry most will bolt when they find out she's not going to jump into bed right away. I hope I'm wrong.

I think your sister is going to have a rough time adjusting to dating in the 2020s. She is coming out of a 27 year marriage and likely the same relationship for 29-30 years. The fact that she hasn't dated since the mid-1990s is going to be a massive adjustment. Also, in the mid-1990s when she last dated, she was either a college cheerleader or a newly graduated college cheerleader. Now, she'll be dating as a roughly 50-52 year old likely with 2 adult children.

Dating is a far bigger shiit show than it was in the mid-1990s.

If she can primarily date men from real world interactions, then that's her best option. This depends on the strength of her social circle. If she's lived in the same city for the past 30 years, that will help with her social circle.

There are plenty of betas who are 50-65 who would be interested in an LTR with your sister. In the case that something works out longer term, it will be somewhat messier with her having grown children and him likely having grown children. The 2 sets of grown children will likely resent the parent's new relationship and spending time around a parent's new romantic partner and adult children from past relationships. They might begrudgingly tolerate it (better case scenario) but some grown children can be hostile. Family holiday gatherings will be perpetually uncomfortable.

I am more optimistic about the average 50s-60s single guy than you are. They aren't that sex obsessed as hormone levels have dropped.

It would be advisable for her to start coloring her hair and wearing more makeup.