Feminine Communication Skills

[Rollo Tomassi]

In the begining of any type of relationship, (LTR, Dating or even fvckbuddy) it's vitally important that a woman knows you aren't exclusive with her and have the capacity to be intimate with other women to foster that feminine competition instinct. However, it's how you go about communicating this to her that is the key. It's also important to remember women are far more adept at interpersonal communications than men realize they are. Numerous studies have been done in regards to womens grasp of language and communications skills and evidence suggests that this is even an inborn ability. Men have rational skills that match these, but women can accurately infer communication from looks, (i.e. the 'dirty look') and speech that men in the same instance are unaware of. It's also important to understand that this skill is a passive one; meaning she does so without any real effort or recognition she's making communicative connection because of it at all times. That's not to say this ability goes unrecognized by women, quite the opposite actually, how often do men hear the 'feminine intuition' boast or about how men "just don't get it"? Most women take this as a point of pride - and a point that men can use to their advantage if they're patient and have an understanding of how this works.

Women have a natural preference to communicate covertly(dirty looks, inferences, innuendo, subtle language manipulations and physical presentations), but that's not to say that this doesn't break down into an overt communications (direct telling of intent, crying, vocal outbursts) when it serves them better. When I advocate communicating to a woman that you aren't exclusive with her you have to do so covertly. Overtly saying to a woman, "hey, we're not exclusive" or "other women find me irresistable" comes off with the obvious egotistical overtones and would most likely be met with an outright rejection (depending of course upon her self esteem). Women understandably abhor overt communication in this manner. But, if you can master a woman's covert form of communication and 'imply' with your behavior or 'infer' confidence from your speech that you are in demand and are someone for whom she should 'feel' she ought to be competing for, then you can set the balance for your relationship with her. If you have no desire to become involved with her in the long term this works in that it keeps her returning to a source of attention that she highly values because you 'speak her language' to your advantage. If you decide she is worth your long term effort, you maintain the advantage of her perception of you being 'the good catch' by keeping her in a, conscious or unconscious, state of competition with other potential women.

 

[whistler]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
In the begining of any type of relationship, (LTR, Dating or even fvckbuddy) it's vitally important that a woman knows you aren't exclusive with her and have the capacity to be intimate with other women to foster that feminine competition instinct. However, it's how you go about communicating this to her that is the key. It's also important to remember women are far more adept at interpersonal communications than men realize they are. Numerous studies have been done in regards to womens grasp of language and communications skills and evidence suggests that this is even an inborn ability. Men have rational skills that match these, but women can accurately infer communication from looks, (i.e. the 'dirty look') and speech that men in the same instance are unaware of. It's also important to understand that this skill is a passive one; meaning she does so without any real effort or recognition she's making communicative connection because of it at all times. That's not to say this ability goes unrecognized by women, quite the opposite actually, how often do men hear the 'feminine intuition' boast or about how men "just don't get it"? Most women take this as a point of pride - and a point that men can use to their advantage if they're patient and have an understanding of how this works.

Women have a natural preference to communicate covertly(dirty looks, inferences, innuendo, subtle language manipulations and physical presentations), but that's not to say that this doesn't break down into an overt communications (direct telling of intent, crying, vocal outbursts) when it serves them better. When I advocate communicating to a woman that you aren't exclusive with her you have to do so covertly. Overtly saying to a woman, "hey, we're not exclusive" or "other women find me irresistable" comes off with the obvious egotistical overtones and would most likely be met with an outright rejection (depending of course upon her self esteem). Women understandably abhor overt communication in this manner. But, if you can master a woman's covert form of communication and 'imply' with your behavior or 'infer' confidence from your speech that you are in demand and are someone for whom she should 'feel' she ought to be competing for, then you can set the balance for your relationship with her. If you have no desire to become involved with her in the long term this works in that it keeps her returning to a source of attention that she highly values because you 'speak her language' to your advantage. If you decide she is worth your long term effort, you maintain the advantage of her perception of you being 'the good catch' by keeping her in a, conscious or unconscious, state of competition with other potential women.

I love your recent posts man.

This one, too, is insightful, practical, and intuitively right on.

I personally prefer your writing style, but I'm worried newbs might find it too academic. I teach at a university, and communicate professionally in a style similar to yours. My students, annoyingly, have a hard time appreciating thoughts that take a while to digest. But that's the way it is. I hope this gets the attention it deserves.

 

[diceman]

Be subtle. Got it.

 

[Doc Kas]

Pure gem!

 

[greatsnake]

good post

 

[Plums]

In my opinion and experience it is much better to be overtly honest and accurate. It is a simple thing to say to a woman or a man that you find them attractive and want them, but that you are not looking for a committed relationship.
Even if you fall in love it is better to explain that you can be in love with different people at the same time. It is being covert in your dealings with people that causes the hurt.
The question you should ask yourself is, does hurting another person matter to you. If it doesn't matter to you go ahead with the delusion that her innate intuition will tell her if you are offering what she wants rather than what you want.
You may be surprised to learn that being honest does not always result in losing a conquest.

 

[ManlyMichael]

In my opinion and experience it is much better to be overtly honest and accurate. It is a simple thing to say to a woman or a man that you find them attractive and want them, but that you are not looking for a committed relationship.
Even if you fall in love it is better to explain that you can be in love with different people at the same time. It is being covert in your dealings with people that causes the hurt.
The question you should ask yourself is, does hurting another person matter to you. If it doesn't matter to you go ahead with the delusion that her innate intuition will tell her if you are offering what she wants rather than what you want.
You may be surprised to learn that being honest does not always result in losing a conquest.

I like this, it interest me when you said that it's better to be straight forward honest, because I use to feel that same way, but women are there for a reason, and it's for training in the art of not going all out, not being unwise, not letting everything known and revealed right away, everything is better when you do it step by step, a little here and a little there.

It's like working a ten hour day moving boxes of produce. If you go all out and try to do everything fast without holding back, you will get tired and stop working after a few hour, but if you learn to hold back you can go all the day long and barely feel tired and after work go and have dinner with friends and hangout.

The art of holding back is especially useful in the bedroom, don't go all out, it's always better to hold back and go step by step