female @ work

majumbo

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Hi,

A female at work has been flirting with me on and off for a number off months. She started this after a group luncheon and I overheard her quietly tell one of her female coworker friends that she has a bf, but she said it quietly so that I wasnt meant to hear this. Anyways, I did overhear this and didnt really trust her intentions and throughout the last few months acted friendly but reserved around her, but very friendly and animated around other females at work. Anyways, we both have this game where she waves at me, and I just kind of nod in acknowledgement. We'd say "hey" all the time in passing, and sometimes when I say hi to her, she says nothing and looks down on the floor, then if I run into her again, she's give me a little wave. After a few months, I decided I'd finally wave back, and she had a grin on her face. A week later I stopped her in the hall, we had a conversation that lasted about 15 minutes. It was pretty good until she mentioned her bf. I didnt let it phase me on the exterior and teased her for having a bf who is dragging his feet on proposing to her. This girl seems to be attracted to me but then mentions her bf. What's the deal? And she mentioned him before I was even considering asking her out. Over the next few days I kind of distanced myself from her. For example, I am talking to a coworker right next to her office, but I my back is turned to her. When she comes out of the bathroom she goes into her office and slams the door. Shes never done this before. Shes always shuts the door quietly. Anyways, I'm thinking shes interested in me and I admit I have had an attraction of sorts to her but have been cautious and laid back with her. Did she bring up her bf in a conversation in ordering to stimulate my interest in her more? If she has a bf already who shes says she hopes will propose to her should I even waste my time? I have 2 other solid options so I'm not sweating it.
 

phillydude

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Philly, dude
Don't sweat it for a couple of reasons.

1) She's got the BF, and hopes he is "the one." Doesn't sound like she's really "in the market" for a new man... more like in the market for a back-up plan. If you aren't the lead dog, the view never changes... and it stinks.

2) She's could be a psycho. She's walking around slamming doors because of what? A casual conversation you had? Please. Save the drama for community theatre. And if she's actually pissed because you DIDN'T make a play for her, imagine how pissed she'd be if you DID make a play and she wasn't receptive? Or if something went bad down the line?

3) She's a co-worker. If not handled correctly, these kinds of things can blow up like the World Trade. And unless you want your whole world crumbling around you, you might want to diffuse that bomb right away. Or as the shirt says: "I'm an explosives expert. If you see me running, try to keep up."

I'd leave this one alone... no more flirting, no more chats, nada.
 

Chrispy

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The girl likes you, but already has someone. She wants the best of both worlds - a boyfriend after work, and a boyfriend AT work. Despite all the signals that is usually more worthy in a social environment (outside of work), flirt with her or do whatever, but never take the bait. You'll get screwed in the end.

Also, she is probably conservative and "loyal" and it would be "wrong" in her mind to go for you.
 

majumbo

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Thanks for the replies guys. While I think she's a cool girl and probably worth getting to know, I think I'll just act friendly and leave things at that with her. If she wants me I'm sure she'll communicate through her network when she's available. Meanwhile, I've got other girls to work on ;-)

Thankyou.
 

peter_g

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WHAT DON'T YOU GET!!!

DUDE!!!!! She has a boyfriend!!!! What part of that don't you understand!!!!!! When you are casually talking to someone haven't you ever mentioned your GF!!!!!! You don't do it to test someone!
 

majumbo

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Yes, I do realize your point of course but within the context of her body language, I think interest or an agenda of sorts was suggested. She went out of her way from the get go to talk to me and feel me out. Remember, ALL WOMEN want to trade up if possible.

For a whole year she wouldnt give me the time of day which I shrugged off, then all of a sudden she wants to be friendly? Besides when a girl is that seriously involved with a guy it seems odd for her to try to flirt with me the way she does given that she ignores all the other guys at work. (BTW: This girl is not an attention w**** at all.

Why would she as a matter of factly bring up that she saw me in the grocery store in a very coy way? Why would she try to downplay that she had a bf at that luncheon by saying she had one very very quietly in a manner clearly intended to decieve me. I dont doubt that she might have thought that toying with a guy like me could be a very nice boost to her self esteem so that she could say "yup, I've still got it, even this guy rolled..." Well, I never did LOL!! I think she decided that this is exactly what's up, and since I never fell for it, perhaps she brought up her bf to communicate to me "Even though you never gave me the chance to shoot you down properly, by telling you I have a bf, now you know that you can't have me ha ha".

In any event, she's pissed off at me at this point for not being flustered with the knowledge that she has a BF. Anyways, I agree with the previous posters, i think they are on mark. Like I said, this one aint worth it at all, but is definitely an interesting study. Kind of like studying an amoeba under a microscope.


Originally posted by peter_g
DUDE!!!!! She has a boyfriend!!!! What part of that don't you understand!!!!!! When you are casually talking to someone haven't you ever mentioned your GF!!!!!! You don't do it to test someone!
 
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Don Juanabbe

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Oh the games women play. I recently encountered a HB9 at a place I frequent. I knew that she had begun seeing a friend of mine, but she didn't know that I knew him, and didn't know that I knew she had begun dating him.

So naturally, she's off limits, right? Well, soon she starts ogling me like crazy, at every opportunity, and walking by my table deliberately to show me the goods. No doubt wondering why I'm not clamouring allover her like every other guy. She kept doing this for several days, but I never took the bait. Until one day, she showed up at her boyfriend's work and saw me talking to him all buddy buddy.

Let me tell you, the hor turned eleven shades of red that day.

Since then, she is extremely cold around me, no doubt because she was exposed as the hor she truly is. If she's starting a new relationship with this guy, why the fawk is she flirting with me? F*ck knows.

My poor friend though, he doesn't realise this. He's gonna get burned. Usually, when a female starts out a new relationship, they only have eyes for the one guy. Unless she's an attention hor, that is.
 
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