Female validation.

[daproest1]

Alright so I have a lot of b!tches right now. It makes me happy. I don’t like that it makes me happy. I wanna be in that state regardless. Tips?

 

[andreihaha]

Alright so I have a lot of b!tches right now. It makes me happy. I don’t like that it makes me happy. I wanna be in that state regardless. Tips?

What state?

B1tches are not for happiness. B1tches are for sex. So something has to be wrong about your approach.

Maybe you don't know what happiness is. How do you define that?
Maybe you should look for women rather that b1tches in the first place. Women can be fullfiling to some degree. But not even that is enough to keep you happy.

There are other things in life you have to pursue, that could make you happy. And that's what you have to realize. Through thinking.
No magic answer will come to you from some forum, if you don't make an effort. Nothing good is ever easy.

 

[manfrombelow]

I second the above comment.

Basically, you have the right to be happy about being abundant with pvssies, but on the other hand, do not link your happiness with it.

Go hit the gym, learn a musical instrument, learn a new language, learn to code, learn anything you want to learn, pursue a hobby, pvssies and b~tches are the side dishes, not the main dish.

 

[Serenity]

Find another way to feel happy that doesn't depend on anything external. Exactly what that is I can't tell you, because you're the only one who can judge what that is.

 

[RBK]

I think a lot of us use female validation for happiness. It's a dangerous web in my opinion as I've fallen victim to this before and when you have no women you feel like ****. It's your ego bro.

What goals outside women do you have in life? Career? Money? Spiritually?

I've been reading a lot of stoic material and its helping me. (Marcus Aurellis, Meditations).

 

[RBK]

What state?

B1tches are not for happiness. B1tches are for sex. So something has to be wrong about your approach.

As I get older I sort of disagree with this but I've had a lot of sex with women. I'd honestly prefer to spend my time with 1-2 women who I really enjoy hanging out with AND ****ing vs random one night stands.

Sort of like an open long term relationship.

I have one woman I've been seeing for three years on and off. She comes and goes, gets into relationships and out but always comes back to me. I have a hard time saying no to that one, she's like heroin to me and I have to catch myself sometimes because I get feels.

 

[mjb3617]

I think a lot of us use female validation for happiness. It's a dangerous web in my opinion as I've fallen victim to this before and when you have no women you feel like ****. It's your ego bro.

What goals outside women do you have in life? Career? Money? Spiritually?

I've been reading a lot of stoic material and its helping me. (Marcus Aurellis, Meditations).

This. I'm a victim of this mindset as well. I've also been looking into stoicism. It's not an easy concept to practice everyday and it takes a dedicated effort to apply in everyday life from what I've learned.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Don't beat yourself up initially for being happy about having b1tches. First off, congratulate yourself for noticing your behavioral patterns because most dudes don't have that kind of self-awareness. I think it's normal to feel a sense of accomplishment whether it be b1tches or anything really. The important thing is to not harp about your successes and just move on mentally to the next thing. Once you have real abundance and have been getting it for awhile, then you'll naturally stop thinking of it as an accomplishment and it just becomes as normal as breathing.

I've also been looking into stoicism.

This and Zen. Whenever I remember to, I always try to reframe all things that have an expectation to something along the lines of "if it happens, no problem. If it doesn't happen, no problem." Not to get overly philosophical, but I find that life is about finding that sweet spot between "being" and "goals." Being = the part of you that embraces outcome independence and carries out the things you have to do in a way where you're not focused on the end, but on what's happening right now at that very moment. Goals = the part that has deadlines and needs things finished and is concerned with making sure that your vision is played out and fulfilled. I've been trying to find that balance all my life and will continue to.

 

[Kotaix]

It's very simple. You choose to be happy with what you have at every moment. The best way to do that is to not identify as your ego, because you're more than just that.

The problem is that the ego is incapable of being happy. Whatever it achieves will eventually fade away or crumble because reality is ever-changing. There will always be something shiny and new, there are girls turning 20 every day, you name it. But the minute the ego gets what it wants is the minute is starts looking for something else. If you can break the vicious circle then you can be happy.

 

[daproest1]

I second the above comment.

Basically, you have the right to be happy about being abundant with pvssies, but on the other hand, do not link your happiness with it.

Go hit the gym, learn a musical instrument, learn a new language, learn to code, learn anything you want to learn, pursue a hobby, pvssies and b~tches are the side dishes, not the main dish.

I do all of those things. Been lifting 15 years. Purple belt in bjj. I play the piano. I run my business. I invest. Blah.

 

[daproest1]

It's very simple. You choose to be happy with what you have at every moment. The best way to do that is to not identify as your ego, because you're more than just that.

The problem is that the ego is incapable of being happy. Whatever it achieves will eventually fade away or crumble because reality is ever-changing. There will always be something shiny and new, there are girls turning 20 every day, you name it. But the minute the ego gets what it wants is the minute is starts looking for something else. If you can break the vicious circle then you can be happy.

How do you break that?

 

[Kotaix]

How do you break that?

Breaking the vicious circle really comes from realizing that gaining material goods and bedding hot women for any "social standing" is nothing but the ego validating itself. There's nothing wrong with having these things, but if you change your mentality away from identifying with your "possessions" then the rest just follows. The idea that you should gain ANYTHING from any activity that you do, outside of the goal of the activity, is the ego fallacy.

This is common with people like Keanu Reeves, almost all Medal of Honor recipients and the most popular sports stars. They always credit the team and downplay their own achievements because they realize that they couldn't do the things they do without a team to back them up. They are very often loved for this humbleness, but they don't do it looking for love or appreciation.

If you want to break the vicious circle then you really need to find your own way towards it. You can't get it from a book or anyone else's mouth because it's the attempting itself that causes the change.

 

[mjb3617]

Breaking the vicious circle really comes from realizing that gaining material goods and bedding hot women for any "social standing" is nothing but the ego validating itself. There's nothing wrong with having these things, but if you change your mentality away from identifying with your "possessions" then the rest just follows. The idea that you should gain ANYTHING from any activity that you do, outside of the goal of the activity, is the ego fallacy.

This is common with people like Keanu Reeves, almost all Medal of Honor recipients and the most popular sports stars. They always credit the team and downplay their own achievements because they realize that they couldn't do the things they do without a team to back them up. They are very often loved for this humbleness, but they don't do it looking for love or appreciation.

If you want to break the vicious circle then you really need to find your own way towards it. You can't get it from a book or anyone else's mouth because it's the attempting itself that causes the change.

Reading a book right now called "ego is the enemy". It breaks down how your ego can make you unhappy and the problems that arise from it.

From what I've read so far, your ego stems from your focus on results rather than focusing on your journey to the results. You get so obsessed with the result of what you seek and in the process, become an unhappy, arrogant, obnoxious person when you don't get it. If you happen to achieve your result, you repeat the cycle. Given enough time, you end up miserable and alone.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Makes me happy too. Maybe if it didn’t, I wouldn’t be driven to always have a girl(s) around. All in all, I’m glad it makes me happy.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Alright so I have a lot of b!tches right now. It makes me happy. I don’t like that it makes me happy. I wanna be in that state regardless. Tips?

Enjoy it. Pvssy makes a man happy.

 

[jaymbrs]

Buy a motorcycle. I have 2 and I'm loving life.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

How do you break that?

The truth is that these things are never broken, the dread of women will always appear with time away, thus, you must be attempting to engage in some sort of interaction with every woman you come across and the better looking you are, the more success you will have in INITIATING.

Before you can work on your game, you have to first deal with your dead, your approach anxiety.

Managing your approach anxiety can sometimes be as simple as rationalizing it, "Oh, my heart rate is up, I'm having anxiety" you begin to rationalize the symptoms of your anxiety and you can work with them to minimize their influence or at minimum, recognize your anxiety and understand that in this moment it might be impairing your ability to do a number of things, thinking, reacting, soon your body language begins to wear your anxiety, then they sense your anxiety.

Here is this chick calling out Jack Harlow on having a shaky hand while holding her hand, I mean my man is in regardless because he's maxxed out but even so she's still not gonna spare his Rep at all

 

[lost_blackbird]

Buy a motorcycle. I have 2 and I'm loving life.

I have two as well. Unfortunately they are in the same house as my ex wife as for now I have nowhere here to store them.
Hopefully that will change soon but until then I get a huge pang of jealousy whenever I see someone else on their bike,
especially as we have nice weather at the moment.