Female acquaintance goes full on hypergamy infront of me........

[rjc149]

28 thousand pounds a year(plus any bonuses) is a very very good wage in a bum area of the UK, especially if she splits the bills with the mechanic. you can live quite a nice lifestyle. a monthly payment on a new but basic mercedes wont be a problem

Costs of living must be dramatically lower than here. $40K per year in NYC qualifies for welfare.

Still, I think this is a case in point on why poor people remain poor — when they get some money, they spend it all trying to appear rich rather than using it to build a foundation of wealth. Poor is often a mindset just as much as it is a financial status.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think this is just insight into this woman’s mind. Refusal to live within her means, obsessed with material possessions and status symbols, unashamed desire for upward economic mobility and disgust for those whom she believes are below her. Sounds like he’d be doing himself a favor by telling this girl to hit the road in her new Mercedes.

No one making less than $50K per year should be buying a German luxury car. No one should be buying a 10 year old used car. It’s a total waste of money.

She will end up more broke than before her promotion.

 

[BeExcellent]

@catsmeow I simply respond. Lots of folks are new here & haven’t read lots of my content.

I provide context when it’s needed to help people understand. I’ve always done that but new people arrive here regularly and don’t dive that deep.

And yes people assume I’m younger than him. It’s in the way they speak to me and I actually do get people saying “you’re what, 35?”at times. Bouncers and others who check ID regularly comment and say no way when they see a birth year from the 60s. It’s funny.

 

[Bokanovsky]

But of course. Sigh!

All women are attention wh*res to some extent, but BeExcellent takes it to a whole new level. She is literally begging for attention on a manosphere forum

 

[BeExcellent]

I've seen it happen too. I know a 35 year old average looking woman AT BEST who has ridiculous standards. Her swipe queue on Tinder is thousands long and she's also on Hinge. She mostly gets pumped and dumped by good looking guys and wonders why she can't get a relationship to go past 6 months.

She believes she's entitled to an upper echelon guy because they are in her swipe queue. But she also has complete shiit in her queue too. She's turned away from some ordinary guys who might have given her what she desires.



If you make $40,000 USD, you might be able to afford an 10+ year old C Class. However, once the first repairs are due, there will be issues affording the repairs.



If I were 44 years old, making ~$150,000 a year, stylish and attractive, and came from an affluent family, I would be dating younger. A $150,000 annual salary is good at 44, but probably not enough to get a 25 year old. If the family is quite affluent, a 30-35 year old would be more likely. That's probably good enough for a 40 year old who doesn't have ridiculous standards. Many 30+ year old women have ridiculous standards.

He picked me out of a crowded venue full of 20s and 30s and 40s women. He thought I was the hottest girl there. He was watching me all night, well before any words were exchanged and before I noticed him. So my look is his ‘type’ if you will. He loves to tell the story about how we met. It’s very sweet. And when he picked me he didn’t know anything about me…he didn’t know my age, marital status, kid status, nothing. He picked me because of attraction. That’s how it should be.

 

[BeExcellent]

All women are attention wh*res to some extent, but BeExcellent takes it to a whole new level. She is literally begging for attention on a manosphere forum

Just sharing a perspective & responding to questions & so on.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Just sharing a perspective & responding to questions & so on.

Suuuure.

Every "contribution" you make starts with "a little advice from an old lady" and quickly turns into a full press attempt to derail the thread with non-sequitur discussions about your personal circumstances. Look at this thread, for example. In a completely unprompted fashion, you told us that you used to model, have good genes and look good for your age, have a great hairline, make lots of money, grew up around money, drive a nice car, and have a "semi pro" boyfriend who used to date hot, young girls but now choses to be with a 52 year old woman.

What does this have to do with the original post? And why are you telling us all of this? Even if any of the above is actually true, we couldn't care less. This is not a place for you to get men to fawn over you. Go open an instagram account if you are starved for attention.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Advice from the old lady:

It’s less to do with him and everything to do with her inflated sense of self worth. It’s not hypergamy per se. It’s the fact that she’s never had money or status. People who get some success and status tend (particularly if they are not from a moneyed background or family) to think the additional money makes them somehow better than others who don’t have as much means.

That’s false obviously. She is on her high horse at the moment. His only hope for keeping her is to require compliance from her. If he doesn’t he will lose her.

I out earn my guy and drive a much much nicer car. I have a higher net worth. Big deal. He didn’t know any of that when he met me, he just thought I was hot & he number closed me and asked me out the next day. He has never acted inferior about the difference in our financial status; and he makes 6 figures in a white collar profession. But I grew up around money and have made my own for decades. It’s great but it doesn’t change who I am.

She has new money pretentiousness and suddenly thinks her shjt doesn’t stink. Six months after she runs him off she will be wanting him back. Once she realizes cars and pretense are not what attracts men.

I both agree and disagree.

Let's start with the part that I agree with, "inflated sense of self-worth". This is as accurate as people that win the lottery. Money outgrows them and gives them a false sense of superiority.

Now with the part, I disagree with. It is also about him, however not in the sense that there is something wrong with her bf the mechanic. Obviously, none of us know him so it's hard to provide accurate perspective with such little context about the actual people in the relationship (this girl and the current bf). But we do have to acknowledge hypergamy in this case. Although she has a false sense of entitlement now, she is now craving a higher status male than herself now because of her new social "status".

I appreciate your honesty and openness with the community, and perhaps (only perhaps) you are an expectation of women's primal craving of hypergamy.

In this case, like others have shared on this thread. I, too, think it is a matter of time for her current bf. A clear sign of this are her actions right after the promotion. We all know if we want to somewhat understand women we have to look at their actions. Women's words are, to say the least, trivial. And unless I read this wrong, I believe @derby1 stated she reactivated her social media (dating app). If that doesn't tell you what her true intentions are at this point, then I guess we will all just need Derby1 to give us an update when she dumps her "lower-status" bf and starts dating guys who she perceives are of higher status than her.


Modern Man Advice

 

[EyeBRollin]

This is a great thread, OP.

Not surprised by any of it. Too many modern women think their own financial “come up” improves their SMV. They’ll then get Alpha widowed then broken. Dark times ahead in the future of the west…

 

[derby1]

Costs of living must be dramatically lower than here. $40K per year in NYC qualifies for welfare.

I think this is probably the difference, the total bills for a small 2 bedroom house(which she has) is about 1000$ a month over in the UK

 

[rjc149]

I think this is probably the difference, the total bills for a small 2 bedroom house(which she has) is about 1000$ a month over in the UK

In middle America (what d!ckhead coastal city dwellers call "flyover states"), a small 2-bedroom house would probably run about $1K/month in rent or a mortgage payment. Average income is probably $50-60K per year. With the cost of living in those areas, you can live comfortably, and raise a family if you're frugal. You don't see new luxury cars parked in those driveways, unless the inhabitant is a knucklehead like this girl.

Girl gets a raise up to $38K, thinks she's in the money now, and needs to upgrade her car, her wardrobe, her boyfriend etc. her life has changed. Ghetto mentality. The guy is dodging a bullet. I don't think this is "hypergamy" -- I think this girl is just a sh!tbird. No offense to your friend.

 

[derby1]

You don't see new luxury cars parked in those driveways, unless the inhabitant is a knucklehead like this girl.

just out of interest Mercs are common as muck over here. In the UK we still class up to 7 years old, as a "new car" dont know if you are refering to literally "new car"

 

[Bokanovsky]

just out of interest Mercs are common as muck over here. In the UK we still class up to 7 years old, as a "new car" dont know if you are refering to literally "new car"

In North America, luxury cars are typically leased and lease terms are usually 3 years. So anything over 3 years old is considered "old".

 

[BeExcellent]

Suuuure.

Every "contribution" you make starts with "a little advice from an old lady" and quickly turns into a full press attempt to derail the thread with non-sequitur discussions about your personal circumstances. Look at this thread, for example. In a completely unprompted fashion, you told us that you used to model, have good genes and look good for your age, have a great hairline, make lots of money, grew up around money, drive a nice car, and have a "semi pro" boyfriend who used to date hot, young girls but now choses to be with a 52 year old woman.

What does this have to do with the original post? And why are you telling us all of this? Even if any of the above is actually true, we couldn't care less. This is not a place for you to get men to fawn over you. Go open an instagram account if you are starved for attention.

I started saying “advice from the old lady” years ago as a tongue in cheek way of dealing with disbelief and people’s assumptions that at my age I must be an old washed up granny or cat lady, lol. That’s just simply not so. For that same reason my avatar has always been a photo of me. Not for attention but rather as confirmation that I am in fact as advertised. So it is out of the integrity of being as I say. Which is more integrity than many here.

Now. If somebody here wants to take a swipe at me “because I’m female” when much of my content stands alone and is solid advice that could have just as easily come from a man? Well that’s just shortsighted.

One of the guys in this thread said he has no idea what I look like (see avatar) and several including you are in seeming disbelief about my circumstances with my relationship. Those are facts (my circumstances). If you actually saw my real life you’d say “Oh. Yup. Just like she said.”

I’ve no need to tell tall tales. If you look at many threads and read instead of skim, you’ll see why my replies are as they are. Even in this thread somebody else initially mentioned the fact that my guy is younger “substantially younger” he said? Who cares? I think it’s interesting the persistent disbelief that I exist as I do AND the heartburn it seems to give some here that (he just turned 45) a 45 year old desirable man would willingly choose a 52 year old woman. I mean, I don’t look 52 but so what. Who cares??? Why does that matter? It doesn’t. But it’s my frame of reference as an 8+ in the world. The only reason I noted his age originally was in response to a question. And guys lose it.

At any rate what happens is somebody makes a potshot remark, then when I respond to the potshot remark suddenly I’m attention seeking. No. I’m just responding. I’d love it if my actual advice never got questioned and could just stand on its own merit like others but I’ve learned that because of BELIEF systems (women can’t lead people, AWALT, women are inferior and so on) men are unable at times to acknowledge reality. I share my reality, often in response to a potshot.

As to OP the same could be said if it had been the upwardly mobile husband who got a big promotion or got asked out by a much more beautiful/much younger woman. People who are shjtty do shjtty stuff. This lady is shjtty. Like @Zimbabwe said money shows you who people are. She’s not a good egg. I feel for the husband here. It’s a sad situation brewing. And in time she may well regret it.

I just don’t see it through a “hypergamy” filter. That filter is based in a belief system and there are plenty of men who would feel entitled to ditch their witch if the situation were reversed.

So I disagree with the premise OP sets forth as to the “Why”.

Now I will await the discredit of my opinion due to my gender. Heh.

Cheers

 

[rjc149]

just out of interest Mercs are common as muck over here. In the UK we still class up to 7 years old, as a "new car" dont know if you are refering to literally "new car"

This may be the disconnect here -- Mercedes is much more of a "commoner" brand in Europe, probably more like a Toyota Camry or a Volkswagen Jetta. Here, it's a status symbol. It means you have money. An new A-class Benz MSRP's at $33K. Spending 2/3rds of a year's salary on a car, even with financing, is just bad financial discipline.

 

[Stuffnu]

“..Never measured a man's success by the size of his wallet”
Carl Fox - Wall Street.

Loved the movie but this statement was one of the best.

 

[BeExcellent]

This may be the disconnect here -- Mercedes is much more of a "commoner" brand in Europe, probably more like a Toyota Camry or a Volkswagen Jetta. Here, it's a status symbol. It means you have money. An new A-class Benz MSRP's at $33K. Spending 2/3rds of a year's salary on a car, even with financing, is just bad financial discipline.

This is true. Many of the taxis in Europe are Mercedes. I recall a Bengali friend once telling me that a Cadillac was considered an exotic in Europe, where we saw them everywhere in the states as a nice car, but certainly not an exotic.

 

[rjc149]

Even in this thread somebody else initially mentioned the fact that my guy is younger “substantially younger” he said? Who cares?

It really wasn't meant to be a swing at you. I do think it's clear that you're somewhat sensitive about it, however. If your relationship is happy, you shouldn't be. And I thought the age gap was larger than 8 years. Still, 8 years isn't exactly insignificant either.

A 52 year old woman in a committed relationship with a man 8 years her junior is atypical. That's not meant as an insult, a potshot, a slight, none of it. It's simply not typical. It doesn't conform with biological and social conditioning that we all, since the dawn of humanity, are subject to. Do I care? No. Neither should you or anyone. I'm simply noting that your relationship isn't the typical relationship. You don't need to prove that you're an atypically attractive 52 year old woman either. I'll take your word for it.

Within the context of this thread, however, I believe that this atypicality is relevant because you are, on paper, the "dominant" in your relationship. You're older and more financially established. Yet, you remain attracted to your man and he to you, because the inner dynamic is still male/female, with you as the female.

In most cases, as in this case, women do not like being the "dominant." On paper, or otherwise. Your situation is unique. The sh!tbird girl we're discussing, however, is more typical.

 

[rjc149]

This is true. Many of the taxis in Europe are Mercedes. I recall a Bengali friend once telling me that a Cadillac was considered an exotic in Europe, where we saw them everywhere in the states as a nice car, but certainly not an exotic.

Cadillacs are lower-tier luxury here, like Acura or Audi. Not Mercedes, Lexus, BMW level.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I started saying “advice from the old lady” years ago as a tongue in cheek way of dealing with disbelief and people’s assumptions that at my age I must be an old washed up granny or cat lady, lol. That’s just simply not so. For that same reason my avatar has always been a photo of me. Not for attention but rather as confirmation that I am in fact as advertised. So it is out of the integrity of being as I say. Which is more integrity than many here.

Now. If somebody here wants to take a swipe at me “because I’m female” when much of my content stands alone and is solid advice that could have just as easily come from a man? Well that’s just shortsighted.

One of the guys in this thread said he has no idea what I look like (see avatar) and several including you are in seeming disbelief about my circumstances with my relationship. Those are facts (my circumstances). If you actually saw my real life you’d say “Oh. Yup. Just like she said.”

You are missing the point. It does not matter what you look like in real life, how much money you have or who your boyfriend is. Not because I'm doubting that you're telling the truth but because I honestly don't care. This information is neither interesting nor relevant to the discussions we have on this forum. Your looks, wealth and social status add no value to your opinions and advice. It's not like anyone is going to think "hey, she looks much younger than 52 and her boyfriend is a semi-pro, so her advice must be excellent (pun intended)". Kim Kardshian has money and looks but I sure as hell wouldn't take advice from her...lol. You should consider following the example of the other female SS contributor who manages to express her opinions without cringe-inducing peacocking.