Fellas talk me out of messaging former oneitis on her bday!

[apprenticedj]

Hola Don Juans,

LONG story SHORT: I fell for this chick, she liked me, I became a needy ***** and turned her off. She led me on for her benefit and once I finally wised up we had a blow out fight that ended our communication.

Now this was about 8 months ago and we haven't spoken a word since that day. The whole situation has left me with some regret because:

1. I was dumb enough to allow myself to be played eventhough the writing was on the wall.
2. I let her get the best of me, I blew up and basically sealed it as a victory for her.
3. I should've been more in control of myself, like a true don juan. "Never let em' see you sweat".

Nevertheless I've found myself thinking about her recently. I know this is common during a drought like I'm currently going through but for some reason I want to save face. Her birthday is coming up soon and I've been thinking of sending her a quick no frills message to wish her a happy birthday and apologize for how things ended between us. Basically a "no hard feelings" message.

Why in the hell would I want to do that?!?!?

1. I hate the way I behaved. I wish I would've been more mature and just cut her off after the 1000th flake but I didn't. I truly regret that part because it made me look like a child.
2. We live in the same small-medium sized city and I know I'll be seeing her again. I don't want any bad blood attached to my name. If she hears that someone she knows is talking to me or if she sees me out on the town talking up someone she knows she could really ruin my chances in a heartbeat just by relaying the story.

Why am I hesitant?

1. She never really cared about me so it's doubtful that she even thinks about me or what happened AT ALL.
2. She may read the message and just laugh. "OMG this guy is an OBSESSED LOSER!!! LOLOLOLOLOL" (She kinda dumb so that's how imagine her inner voice sounding).

So my friends I turn to you. I'm 90% I'm not going to message her because at the end of the day what do I really have to gain? I feel like I've gained so much knowledge from this site so I'm a little down that I'm backsliding into this way of thinking. SoSuave, please talk some sense into me!

 

[GotED?]

You have to go pee really bad, just imagine there is only ONE toilet left in the whole world.

She walks out of that toilet leaving behind a good case of geriatric juicy spicy blend of diarrhea just for you (this is symbolic, if you haven't figure it out).

That should stop you from breaking NC.

Exodus

 

[LondonTowers]

Imagine how sh*t you have felt so far.. well your gonna feel a whole lot more sh*t if you go ahead and do this. She will think you have been pining for her over the last 8 months and you never gonna get a response that will magically make you feel better. In fact the opposite is gonna happen. Forget apologies.. she don't give a sh*t and will only give her more power over you. Just work on yourself, if you bump into her ever, then just be indifferent like nothing happened. Your getting weak man because your in a drought.. don't contact her and make yourself even weaker and set your development back. Focus on getting past that date of her birthday and keep going.

 

[VladPatton]

Have some respect for yourself, man. Delete all her info ASAP and get on with your life. Don't be her orbiter. All you're doing is rewarding her $hit behavior. Pick up your balls and delete that kunt from your life. You'll thank yourself for it in a few weeks.

 

[sylvester the cat]

you want to save face by sending her a birthday/no hard feelings text???

you're just asking to have dirt kicked in your face aren't you, OP?

here's the thing. she's moved on (ostensibly) and you can't handle it.

If you're going to text her you might as well write in your text: 'I am an obsessed loser.' It would be more honest than 'no hard feelings' which as you correctly guessed is how she is going to read it anyway not to mention show to all her friends. sheesh.

 

[tripod23]

my only advice to you my friend is .....DO NOT TEXT HER FULL STOP.

she will love it ....especially when she shows it and braggs about it to her girlfriends..............no no no no no no no no no no.............please dont do this im begging you.........lol.

listen to these guys on here they know the drill ...........

good luck either way bro......i feel your pain

 

[Pardner]

How hard is it to delete her number so you can't message her? you can also break your fingers if that doesn't stop you from doing it. lol.

 

[apprenticedj]

I just want to say thanks for all the replies. Sometimes it's hard to do what you know you should do, especially when you're in a scarcity mentality. I'll be strong my brothers.

 

[fuko2007]

Its been 8 months of NC. Dont break it now, what if she does not say anything back? How will you feel then? Your doing it to get a reaction out of her. She may have moved on she may have not. Just look at the cold hard facts. Would she text you for your birthday? Probabially not. But anyway if you do do it and backslide be a man and call the HO.

 

[BraddH]

You guys are acting all desperate and ****. How the fvck you think you don't care about a woman while your getting all worked up so hard because of them?

To the OP: be clear what your most inner desire is. If you want her back, there are many ways and being desperate is not one of those. Also remember that all the reasons that you want her back can be found in another girl.

 

[Amilz]

What I'm learning is that women care about power. Almost any kind of power. It's like if they can demonstrate that they have more power than you it's over. The power that you hold now is apathy towards her. Never antipathy just indifference.

I dated one girl for 4 and 1/2 years and when it was over I broke down. I'll never forget when she said "I never knew you were so weak". Before then I almost couldn't do any wrong in her eyes. Once I showed neediness it didn't matter at all to her who I used to be in her eyes.

 

[Albatross953]

Just for your benefit....I actually did this a few years ago.

If you get the same reponse I got after six months you will understand after that.

"Who is this?"

 

[Ray S]

Don't message her, stay strong. Your on the right track, you atleast realise you have scarcity mentality.

 

[ositosucio]

i have been divorced for a year.

My birthday was a few mnths back and she didnt send me ****.

You bet your ass im didnt message her a few days back on her birthday.

No time for that. What it was it was. We are getting older. All of us.