Fell off the bandwagon - Ex G/f

[simple_wish]

5 year LTR ended about 6 months ago and the Ex's bday came along this past weekend.

I sent her an email saying:

"my records indicate that it's a certain birdies bday today...happy bday!"

She wrote back and told me her day in detail and also wrote this "I thought you would of called. it would have been nice...I thought you had forgotten"

I can't believe I did this...i've been good for the last 5 months...she ended it and i came to terms with myself that "we" are no longer.

She has contacted me in the past..periodically phone calls (Left V/M) but never returned the calls...IM conversation as she wasn't blocked then but that's the extent of it...

I've engrossed myself in many different activites since the split. Soccer/vball/gym i'm in the best shape i've ever been in 5 years. I was laid off of work just after the split I got myself a new job making over 10k more than my previous position...just when I thought the worst is over...i screwed up and feel upset.

I almost called her today to say sorry for not calling but i fought all temptation.

WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF??????????

 

[penkitten]

calm down, these things take time.

they say that time heals all wounds, i hope that time heals yours soon.

 

[assasin]

WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF??????????

Because it was her Birthday and you're a straight up well adjusted guy who isn't going to get mentally scarred by some busted relationship that was over ages ago.

And you're not afraid to show it.

 

[NewMan]

It happens.

Monday was my ex's bday of 5 yrs and I called her to wish her happy b'day.....

It brings back memories for a little while then you get over it again.

Don't be so hard on yourself - it sounds like you are doing just fine.

 

[simple_wish]

Thanks guys...man it's like taking 4 steps forward and then falling 6 steps back.

She wrote me again:

I've been planning on calling you a few times but it just seems that I would be disturbing you. It just doesn't feel like you want to communicate on the phone, but that's ok. I understand. I simply said that you can call me when you're comfortable but that hasn't happened yet and that's fine. And if you are comfortable then oh well, I know that you are busy too going to the gym, working and doing things here and there. You are a one busy guy.

I need to summon the Iron balls to tell her to back off/away it's definately not healthy for me.

I swear i feel like she is mind F'ing me...arrrgh

 

[cave dweller]

contact.....

simple wish,

Do not contact her again.

It did not work then and it won't work now.

BTW, ----I, also, came out of a 4 year LTR in October. So, I know where you are coming from.

cave dweller

 

[simple_wish]

It's a lot harder than i thought...

My confidence is higher than it was a couple of months ago...girls I know have commented on my accomplishments at the gym.

I've pulled a complete 180 in my personal apperance...some people just don't know what to say...I'm just sick of being slowed down by thinking about a girl who missed a good opportunity!

You guys are great..sometimes friends just don't understand and you guys help out!

 

[MrHarris]

Originally posted by simple_wish
5 year LTR ended about 6 months ago and the Ex's bday came along this past weekend.

I sent her an email saying:

"my records indicate that it's a certain birdies bday today...happy bday!"

She wrote back and told me her day in detail and also wrote this "I thought you would of called. it would have been nice...I thought you had forgotten"

I can't believe I did this...i've been good for the last 5 months...she ended it and i came to terms with myself that "we" are no longer.

She has contacted me in the past..periodically phone calls (Left V/M) but never returned the calls...IM conversation as she wasn't blocked then but that's the extent of it...

I've engrossed myself in many different activites since the split. Soccer/vball/gym i'm in the best shape i've ever been in 5 years. I was laid off of work just after the split I got myself a new job making over 10k more than my previous position...just when I thought the worst is over...i screwed up and feel upset.

I almost called her today to say sorry for not calling but i fought all temptation.

WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF??????????

I have just one question. With all of that time for Soccer/Vball/ and the gym...why are you not just doing the boot camp and meeting lots of women to take your mind off of your ex????


This is something that has always intrigued me about some of the guys here. They get dumped and they will not take advantage of the very program that will bring them some piece of mind. Instead you guys hit the gyms and do everything that you can to stay in your misery.

In my opinion it's better to replace her as she has done to you. Don't think there isn't some other guy who's thing she is sucking.

That is the bare truth of the matter. Let that vision motivate you to a higher level of game. Be the man who has lots of women to pick and choose from for dating.

 

[car501]

WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF??????????

Exactly ! Why are you? If your doing what you say you are, why would you bother !
My ex's bday is today. A lot of our mutual friends are going out tonight to celebrate. Not me. I've been out with our friends and her before for other occations after we broke up, no problem. But, I don't celebrate her birthday any longer, so why would I go ? Matter of fact, her best friend just paged me about 40 minutes ago. She has never paged, called me before, why now ? I'm sure it's to see if I'm going tonight.
Special events are NOT a reason for keeping contact with someone (i.e. Christmas, Thanksgiving) or whatever.
Keep fighting the temptation. You can think or feel whatever you want. It's how we act on those feelings that keep you on the right path or make you crash and burn. Good luck..


<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Bitter ? Hell no ! Just fed up .
<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

[simple_wish]

I've joined all the different leauges as a personal choice. I could go out and hit all the bars...yes i've been following the bible...but there are kinks in my life that need straightened before I get a new chica.

I'm in the middle of purchasing a income property and need some extra money for that, by being involved the different sports I won't find myself blowing all my coin at a random bar.

Yes last week I was distraught and I'm sure i'll have these days periodically but I'm going to have to live with that. My life is not over and I know that.

I no longer feel that I lost the best thing that ever happened to me...living each day is the best thing that could ever happen.

Career is a big goal...working to reach the top not settling for 2nd best anymore...it doesn't mean that I can't have a girl but I think I resented my future when i was in the LTR.

My father wrote this down for me today:

"If you constantly think of all the negative things in your life, it will hinder all the positive things in your life"

 

[wiseman]

is her calling you a ususal thing for you because it kind of sounds like she wants to come back but whatever you don't you best not it didn't work then it aint going to work now

good luck man!

 

[simple_wish]

maybe it's indecision on her calling me..who knows.

I certainly do not...i've gone 5 months...i can go more without her.

It's her lost opportunity

 

[wiseman]

Originally posted by simple_wish
maybe it's indecision on her calling me..who knows.

I certainly do not...i've gone 5 months...i can go more without her.

It's her lost opportunity

there you go thats the attitude you need to have it's her lost on a great opportunity