Feeling super sh*tty...some advice please

mecca411

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I think I screwed up with this new girl I've been seeing. We've only been out a few times, but we've had a blast both times. While we've made plans on the phone, I haven't seen her in 2 weeks. I was trying to be a bit of a challenge and not make myself so available, but I think I overdid it. Plus I switched plans on her once when some friends of mine came to town. She's cancelled on me onetime. but she was legitimately sick. And another time I missed her phone call when I said I'd be there so it screwed up the nights plans.

This most recent time was on Saturday night. We had made plans to hang out since Thurs. She had a family function during the day so she said she'd call me at about 9:30 that night. Meanwhile on saturday I got a surprise visit from my mom and ended up giving her a ride back to her town about 3 hours round trip.

I ended up getting back at around 10pm and saw the message on my machine from the girl. Her sister and come by out of the blue(from out of town) so she had to put her up for the night, but she still wanted to get together with me. I wasn't happy about having to hang with the sister, but I called the girl anyway and told her we could do something. They were heading bowling so I said they could call me when they got back.

In the meantime, my neighbors came by(couple of girls) and invited me over for a drink. I set the call forwarding to ring at their place so I wouldn't miss the girl's call(or so I thought I did). Anyway, i ended up missing her call at 11pm and tried to call her back at 11:30pm but couldn't get ahold of them. Meanwhile my roomate came home with some of her friends and I hung out with them and called the girl back at 12:30 and got ahold of her. She sounded annoyed that I missed her call..I didn't get a chance to explain about the call forwarding thing, but I asked her to do something on Sunday to which she agreed. I felt bad so I planned a fun day for Sunday, but when i called her in the afternoon I got her machine and left a message. I tried her again in the evening and got her machine again and left one more message. And that was that.

It's Tuesday now and I never heard back from her. I feel soooo ****ty, because I really like this girl. I can understand her being pissed about my being unavailabl, but would her interest level just drop to zero like that? From calling me sometimes twice in a day to not returning my messages? I wanted to give her a day or two to cool down a bit and try her one last time. Is that ok? I know she has caller id, but should I try from my cell phone(she doesn't have that number)? I just want to talk to her. Don't know why it's got me so down. I'd normally have moved on to the next girl by this point, but she was the coolest girl I've met in awhile. What should I say to her? Need some advice BIG time.

M.
 

DankNuggs

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don't start acting needy or worried or feel you 'have to make it up to her'...

Next time you are free, ask her out, if she grills you on the call, explain the call forwarding thing...you were going WAY out of your way to get in touch with her.....
 
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Mecca, don't you have a current thread on this page dealing with this same girl?

When you begin a new relationship, there is little room for miscommunication, mishaps, and misunderstandings - this situation is filled with this sort of happenings. Judgments are made on each other and they usually are not good ones, since this is all they know about each other.

You may want to try to start all over with her after taking a break for a while, until the frustration subsides. I think you are trying too hard to 'hook up' and this is usually not a good sign for the man!!
 

mecca411

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So PuertoRican_Lover, you think I should wait a week before calling and see where things are at that point? That should be enough time for her to cool off. Yeah, I'm feeling this oneitis big time. I doubt she knows how much i dig her though. The messages I left were casual and far from desparate. I was going to try her tomorrow, but I'll wait if that's what you recommend. How long should I give it?

M.
 

Genghis Juan

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Stay Calm

As an apprentice, I can tell you that I recently put waaay too much thought and work into things when they are at the dating phase.

Just relax, being a challenge should come naturally because you are not putting a girl on the pedastal (i.e. she must prove herself worthy for further pursuit), and not dedicating your life to her and you are not desperate; you want her but dont need her.

If you are doing things simply for the sake of being a challenge, then it is just a game you are playing with yourself. If she is experienced, she will see through that and think you're a fake. Just take sometime off from thinking about her, do your stuff, then after several days, when you are calm and relaxed, give her a call and ask her out.

In the beginning, you have to be firm, make the plans and get the date. If she cancels or delays, but continues to call you, get back with another firm offer and stick with it. Girls occassionaly act flaky, but a strong man shouldn't; he should know what he wants, when and where he wants it, period.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Porky

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Two weeks ago I was where you are right now. You think this girl is everything you're looking for, you really connect with her, etc...am I right? You have an infatuation with her because there aren't any girls in your life. Go out, meet more, and get your mind off of this girl.

You aren't obligated to do anything with her, and you two certainly aren't exclusive. Stop calling her and leaving messages - the ball is in her court now.
 

Porky

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Don't believe me? The girl I was infatuated with two weeks ago watched me hook up with her friend this weekend.

HAHA! I've forgotten all about her and her friend.
 

mecca411

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I don't plan on calling her for at least a few more days. But is it because her interest level has dropped to zero that she is not calling me back or is it just because she is mad and expects me to call her again? I think you're right about the dating other chick thing though. No doubt I wouldn't be down in the dumps if I had something else going on. Still, I'd like to try and salvage something with this girl. If it doesn't work out by my next call I'll move on. Sound like an ok plan?

M.
 

Porky

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No, it doesn't. Move on now as you try to work things out with her, not after.

You called her twice in one day and left two messages. You've shown your interest. She knows you called, and it's up to her now whether or not she wants to call you back. If she wants to put you through all of these qualifying games, do you really think she's worth it? If she doesn't call you back but is instead expecting you to call her yet AGAIN, she thinks too highly of herself and will be more trouble than she's worth.
 
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Call her one more time to clear the air and try to start anew - this time make the date for two weeks in advance and be determined to keep it!!

I personally wouldn't call a girl again after calling her twice without a response, But I guess you want closure and want to get a definite answer of either yea or nay.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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