As the title says feeling like sh1te.
Hopefully some people can give me some perspective on the whole situation, here goes:
I met my ex 10ish years ago, I just finished with my girlfriend and she was coming out of an abusive marriage which she had a young kid out of it.
Things were really good between us for the first few months (honeymoon period), but then her ex-husband was released from prison, and caused a lot of problems. Also during this time I noticed that my partner had a temper problem, as if she didn’t like what I did she would fly off the handle and swear at me.
Within the first year she kissed another man whilst she was out and had second thoughts on our relationship and I moved out. But within a month she got back in touch and asked me to get back with her which I did, and she was now expecting our child.
I did try and break with her 3 years into it, but she threatened to commit suicide, so I stayed.
She also developed the knack of shouting at the two kids / me and swearing at them if things got too much, which made my kid think that swearing was an OK thing to do. Some of the things she used to say to my son in my eyes are unforgivable.
Anyway back last year she started going out a lot more with her friends (who are a bit younger no ties etc) I would look after the kids whilst she went out until the early hours and if I asked how was the night, she would respond by saying is this f****** twenty questions or something along those lines. By the end of last year our relationship was not at its best not shouting but the communication had broken down slightly, I asked her if we were going to be OK, and she admitted that she had kissed another man whilst out and was tempted to have sex with them.
So I was trying my hardest giving her affection, talking to her saying I loved her, but she used to get angry if I said that, so I knew there must be something else going on. In the end I found out that she had met another man (married, going through a divorce) and she had been texting him.
I did try and kick her out, and her response was to hit me straight in the face.
Two months ago she went out with her friends and they gave her the advise to leave me – but it ended in a not very nice way, I said I still loved her, she said that she didn’t f******* love me.
She has gone straight with this guy and they seem great, hes still going through a divorce.
Reading this back there were loads of red flags and I feel like a right muppet.
My bro who is typical cave man attitude has been good, saying let her crack on with it, she will soon end up doing the same things as before and this guy is obviously an ass, she now has two kids by two different fathers, let them get on with it.
I've started going to the gym and going out alot more, but I still feel those years were wasted, but as people have said she has done you a massive favour.
Anyone got any more advise on going forward?
Hopefully some people can give me some perspective on the whole situation, here goes:
I met my ex 10ish years ago, I just finished with my girlfriend and she was coming out of an abusive marriage which she had a young kid out of it.
Things were really good between us for the first few months (honeymoon period), but then her ex-husband was released from prison, and caused a lot of problems. Also during this time I noticed that my partner had a temper problem, as if she didn’t like what I did she would fly off the handle and swear at me.
Within the first year she kissed another man whilst she was out and had second thoughts on our relationship and I moved out. But within a month she got back in touch and asked me to get back with her which I did, and she was now expecting our child.
I did try and break with her 3 years into it, but she threatened to commit suicide, so I stayed.
She also developed the knack of shouting at the two kids / me and swearing at them if things got too much, which made my kid think that swearing was an OK thing to do. Some of the things she used to say to my son in my eyes are unforgivable.
Anyway back last year she started going out a lot more with her friends (who are a bit younger no ties etc) I would look after the kids whilst she went out until the early hours and if I asked how was the night, she would respond by saying is this f****** twenty questions or something along those lines. By the end of last year our relationship was not at its best not shouting but the communication had broken down slightly, I asked her if we were going to be OK, and she admitted that she had kissed another man whilst out and was tempted to have sex with them.
So I was trying my hardest giving her affection, talking to her saying I loved her, but she used to get angry if I said that, so I knew there must be something else going on. In the end I found out that she had met another man (married, going through a divorce) and she had been texting him.
I did try and kick her out, and her response was to hit me straight in the face.
Two months ago she went out with her friends and they gave her the advise to leave me – but it ended in a not very nice way, I said I still loved her, she said that she didn’t f******* love me.
She has gone straight with this guy and they seem great, hes still going through a divorce.
Reading this back there were loads of red flags and I feel like a right muppet.
My bro who is typical cave man attitude has been good, saying let her crack on with it, she will soon end up doing the same things as before and this guy is obviously an ass, she now has two kids by two different fathers, let them get on with it.
I've started going to the gym and going out alot more, but I still feel those years were wasted, but as people have said she has done you a massive favour.
Anyone got any more advise on going forward?
