Feeling down - that I missed out on life

[CoolRunning]

You can pretty much read my sig and find out why I might feel this way. I'm at least a decade behind most people in terms of emotional and physical intimacy with women, and 15 years behind most people in terms of having fun with friends. Sometimes this makes me feel down, like I've missed out on so much, like I wasted the best part of my life, my early 20s. Any words of wisdom to buck me up?

edit: OK, this post sounded a little too negative. My sig is when I joined, in Jan 2006. Now, I have friends, I've made out with a girl, I have 2 girls I'm gaming, and I'm generally haveing a lot more fun in life. So I haven't been a keyboard jockey moaning over my tortured existence, I've taken it upon myself to improve my lot. But nonetheless, regret is a very painful emotion...how do I get past this?

 

[KarmaSutra]

Patton said it best: "Ever forward men. Never retreat."

Fvck the small stuff.

 

[MacAvoy]

I'm at least a decade behind most people in terms of emotional and physical intimacy with women. Sometimes this makes me feel down, like I've missed out on so much, like I wasted the best part of my life, my early 20s.

You can choose to dwell on the past, what you missed out on. Or you can build upon the future. Make the next 10 years exactly what you want them to be. Its your life, you control your destiny. We all make mistakes, you made yours by not effecting change, but you've learned from them.

Make the most of your new found wisdom.

 

[ElChoclo]

You can maybe take consolation in knowing that others have wasted far more than you. There are guys who have been unhappily married for longer than you have been alive. Think about that one.

If you live to 70 you've got more than 40 years to do whatever you want. You've only been in the driver's seat for maybe 10 years so far, not counting childhood. You've even got some 20's years left, so enjoy.

 

[WestCoaster]

Got a long life ahead of you. The age 27 might feel old right now, but it's not.

Here's the great thing: With each new woman you meet, you're a blank slate. They don't know your past and a lot don't care about it ... you're not in high school anymore and there are no cliques and popular guys and gals, just people who think they are.

Gotta long life to live, just keep moving forward. Ask out a bunch of gals and have fun.

You're not doing as bad as you think ... it's only society which thinks that, and society is wrong.

 

[xmlenigma]

I used to think that. I still think that. I am your age.. but I have realized that nothing is better than NOW. Fix NOW.. not then and not later..

 

[Boschy]

Write it all down as poetry. Binge and purge. Catharsis, baby. Publish, get famous, have movies made about you. Bask in the glory and magnificence that was A Life Well Lived.

"Life is a lesson, you learn it when you're through." -- Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit.

 

[Friendly Otter]

If today is a good day, last year doesn't matter; I'm happy anyway!

Besides, whatcha talkin' about, missed out on your best time? A lot of people aren't smart enough to take advantage of their early twenties anyway, and will regret a lot of it as meaningless and unsatisfying. You can still have fun, and in your thirties too, and it will be much more fulfilling. People are young longer these days - no broken backs, which means you still have a green light. I'm not saying you should go out drinking every night, but enjoying life, that is something you can always do.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I envy you.

It appears you have been freed from the Matrix at 27. This is the greatest advantage a man could hope for. Nothing like this community existed when I was 27, and I was trapped by my inability to see I was an uber AFC. I was blind to the fact that I was blind. Oh the things I would do with the freedom you have!

The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The next best time is now.

 

[WestCoaster]

I have a friend who is 50, bitter, cynical, working retail, never dates, laments past relationships that weren't good anyway, says he'll never get married, etc. I finally decided to quit hanging out with him because he was depressing me.

And you know what? There are a LOT of guys like my friend out there. You're ahead of the game, you have freedom and a life ahead of you. Enjoy it while it lasts.

* Uber AFC -- one of the funniest lines ever! LOL!

 

[CoolRunning]

Thanks guys. I know I shouldn't compare to everyone else, that'll be the death of me. I really try not to. And I think it will get better once I start getting laid. Heck, it's 3 years until I am 30. You can have a lot of fun in 3 years.

I guess part of it is I am just frustrated. I feel like I'm so close, but it's just out of reach. By "it", I mean I want to be having sex with a girl or more regularly. I make no apology for my desire to be a man-***** for a while. After 27 years w/o being laid, I think I deserve it.

 

[Boschy]

Dude, no matter how clumsy and whatever the first few times are, just give the girl a hug and say how much you enjoyed it and her. Don't apologise and make excuses. If she's a quality woman, she'll be back for more. If not, grab another one.

You're a man. You wanted to have sex. You had sex. Perfectly natural and normal behaviour.

 

[CompleteControl]

Thanks guys. I know I shouldn't compare to everyone else, that'll be the death of me. I really try not to. And I think it will get better once I start getting laid. Heck, it's 3 years until I am 30. You can have a lot of fun in 3 years.

I guess part of it is I am just frustrated. I feel like I'm so close, but it's just out of reach. By "it", I mean I want to be having sex with a girl or more regularly. I make no apology for my desire to be a man-***** for a while. After 27 years w/o being laid, I think I deserve it.

You sound like you will be dead in 3 years. So you will be 30, who cares. Would you rather not reach 30?

Learn, go out, make a fool of yourself, have fun. Every rejection is a learning experience.

If you have sex with a girl and you aren't a great lover - so what?

Most of the guys in the world suck in bed - if she likes you she'll get over it. If not - next.

When you are 37 do you want to be saying - "my life sucks and I am going to be 40 in three years"

Go out, hit on women, screw up, get better.

I just broke up with my 29yo gf and I am out there having fun.

I just got home from a bar and I was playing with my friends 21 yo daughter. She guessed I was 30 - so I told her I was 31. Some one told her how old I really was while I was in the bathroom. She told me I was A liar and couldn't be trusted and she knew I was shifty and I realy looked older.

I told her she was right I am a liar and I am old and she had better watch out for guys like me. We got in a big fight.

I had a great time tonight - it was such a total blast. The 21yo was totally into me - although I think I pissed off her father and her fiance. Who cares?

Oh, I am 41yo by the way.

Life is what happens while you are making plans.

Get started living your life!

ps - You don't deserve anything unless you go out and earn it.

 

[WestCoaster]

Great stuff Complete Control, I'm around your age and I wasted a lot of my youth obsessing about my career and so forth ... who cares, that's the way it was. I also dodged some nice bullets with women, opting not to marry a couple of psycho-nut cases to stay single. Best non-moves I ever made.

Ask the 40-year old who commutes an hour each way, comes home tired, can't go to the gym, has a bi-chy, fat wife, and screaming kids if he's happier than you?

Enjoy life while you can. There are people out there with serious injuries, terminal illnesses, millions who are starving and poor ... count your blessings and don't base your life and the approval or disapproval of women. I've made that mistake ... it's not a good place to be.

 

[st_99]

If today is a good day, last year doesn't matter; I'm happy anyway!

Besides, whatcha talkin' about, missed out on your best time? A lot of people aren't smart enough to take advantage of their early twenties anyway, and will regret a lot of it as meaningless and unsatisfying. You can still have fun, and in your thirties too, and it will be much more fulfilling. People are young longer these days - no broken backs, which means you still have a green light. I'm not saying you should go out drinking every night, but enjoying life, that is something you can always do.

Totally agree with this post, a lot of people aren't smart enough to take advantage of there early 20's in a meaningfull way..sh$t I wasted my early to mid 20's tied down to some crazy beeotch which turned out to be a total disaster! I wasnt smart enough to end it a lot sooner. Now being single things are going really nice thus far, banged a couple chicks that just fell in my lap more or less..one with a killer body Anyway, the point is I think it gets better as you become "older" (late 20's, early 30's). Lucky for us, a 30 yo dude getting 25 26 yo chicks is normal and expected. 30 yo chicks dating 25 yo dudes is unusual. Its so sweet to know that as you age a bit.

 

[WestCoaster]

What parents don't tell their kids is that it's OK to delay marriage, it's alright to have fun in your 20's (and beyond), and most importantly, it's REALLY important to "test drive" careers and women to find out what the heck you want. While some might think that's cruel, women "test drive" men all the freaking time.

I read a story about the old 80's rock guy Huey Lewis (I'm dating myself) and when he got out of high school his dad said, "You're going to Europe. Here's a little money, but you'll have to make due. Travel, have fun, party."

Lewis at first didn't want to go, then when he got there he had a blast, travelled all over, played in some clubs, and established himself. More parents should be like that and not like one group of parents I met while I was in college.

A guy I knew who was a senior in college married this gal at age 22 because "his parents put pressure on him." Never mind that she was screwing professors and anyone else with a pulse. They had a kid, she divorced quickly, and he took custody of the kid because she didn't want to deal with him. He went through that entire song and dance because his parents told him he had to get married young.

Freaking amazing.

Just have fun, emphasis on FUN. Don't worry about women at all between 20-30 (wish I hadn't), heck don't worry about them when you're older. They're very unstable people, just focus on the things that enrich you. Party, travel, have fun, date and sleep with a lot of women, find a career that works, keep working out, build up a strong group of guy friends who will be there for you, stay in touch with your family (if they're not psychos) and put serious relationships with women on the back burner.

I wish I knew this ... when I was in my 20's I got into a few serious relationships that prevented me from dating others, and the women were not healthy for me at all. Why? As much as I love my parents, they didn't tell me sh-t about dating, love, relationships. I would've rather had them tell me what I just wrote: Do NOT worry about women.

 

[catnip]

Hi CR
You didn't miss out!!! You are one lucky guy! You found this site. READ THE BIBLE again & again....... You have to reprogram you social/religous conditioning. Starters read
Gun Witch , Pook , etc. . But the work will be hard because
of your conditioning GET OUT IN THE FIELD!!!!! You will
start to see the way chicks really are and the real social matrix. You will get blownout, make misakes,etc. but you are learning with each interaction and YOU WILL IMPROVE.
READ THE BIBLE!, STUDY, GO OUT IN THE FIELD,TAKE NOTES repeat the above. Good luck
also visit www.fastseduction.com for advanced stuff

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

YOu've only missed out on things you've given up on.

 

[penkitten]

when i was 15 i made a list of things i wanted to do before i turned 25.
there were a hundred things on it.

except for things that everyone obviously does, i really never did any of those things.
i married young and had babies young and worked hard. we never had money to do anything and just when we finally were making something of ourselves, we divorced. so i had to start all over, a little older , but still poor and with all the babies , and alone again.

i found the list again when i was 24, and thought maybe i could get some of those things done. the harder i tried the more i realised, i had changed and no longer wanted to do all of those things. at first i wanted to think i had missed out on so much. however i was better off for it, because in return i had so much other stuff come my way.

hope this helps you some.