Feel Numb - Cheated on GF of 1 day with ex-FB

[Crissco]

Havent been on here in a while because i was doing my thing, figuring out my career, different girls...etc

Long story short....

Dated girl in Jan, we broke up, started fu*king around again over the summer, asked her out last night(was drunk), she said yes.

I had an ex fu*k buddy, we both fell for eachother over the period of a month or so(in oct). I ended it with her last night, she went crazy saying she misses me, this and that, just normal everyone wants what they cant have stuff.

We talked today, kept it casual, told her we can just be friends, (kept as a back up just in case in my mind). We kept talking, she respected what i said once she got used to the fact i have a GF.

Stupid me, invited her over to talk bc i was having doubts in my relashionship already about this girl(Part of me wanted her, and wanted to screw around). FB came over, we held off for a while, then we just got physical. I kept stopping after kissing, but i kissed her again. I knew exactly what i was doing, but kept doing it because being with her felt right. And I missed her.

I felt like a piece of sh*t. Over 10 years ago when my Dad cheated on my mom, I PROMISED my self i will never be like my father and cheat. I never cheated ever, until tonight. I feel numb, confused, and dont know what to do.

I need help here.

Crissco

 

[Crissco]

Well, the first thing to do, is ask your self if you have learned your lesson.
What kind of man do you want to be? Who do you want to see when you look in the mirror?

Sounds like you are doing a pretty good job of beating yourself up. Good.

Now, forgive yourself, CHANGE, and be the man you want to be. I am not sure what else you are looking for?? YOU know what you have to do.

I feel like a piece of **** because i promised my self over 10 years ago i would never do this. I broke my only promise to my self that i always stuck with.

Learned my lesson? Yes, big time.

The relationship part. Im scared, my whole thing was me being hurt, and cheated on is what scared me. Why i always avoided relashionships. And i did that exact thing, and went and cheated.

 

[Greasy Pig]

A lot of what's written on these boards is about screening women until you're sure she's right for you.
Maybe your new GF isn't what you're really after.

In saying that, your journey of self improvement means you stay in control of your urges and don't be a slave to your d****.
Everyone slips up (I cheated on my last LTR with seven different women in just a year, but that was before finding this site). But chalk this up to experience and learn that you shouldn't put yourself in situations where cheating could occur.
I'm no paragon of virtue but I've convinced myself that when the right girl comes along, she'll deserve to be treated with respect and integrity. In other words, if I expect the best of her, she should have the best of me.

 

[sharkbeat]

I did the same thing last year. I know how it felt. You promised and told yourself and you'll never be a cheater like ever. And..it happens. Didn't tell my gf, but also never cheated again since then, although the impulses still there.

Only time can make you feel better. I learned a good lesson from that, which also means I'm passing a lot of pvssies now. It's kind of a bitter-sweet relationship. On one side you are staying true to yourself, and on another, you feel like emasculating yourself.

 

[SecondHalf]

Say 10 Hail Marys and ye will be absolved....

SS confession won't help.
The guilt, she be yours.
Pay attention to it, use it, grow from it!
Ignore it, medicate it, justify the deed, and it's all for naught.

That's it, simple model.

SH

 

[Crissco]

I did the same thing last year. I know how it felt. You promised and told yourself and you'll never be a cheater like ever. And..it happens. Didn't tell my gf, but also never cheated again since then, although the impulses still there.

Only time can make you feel better. I learned a good lesson from that, which also means I'm passing a lot of pvssies now. It's kind of a bitter-sweet relationship. On one side you are staying true to yourself, and on another, you feel like emasculating yourself.

Yes! Hit the nail on the head. I feel better now after talking to people but overall it hurts what i did to myself more then anything.

 

[SSBS]

All I would say is man...STFU.

Sounds like a couple of bar stars bumping uglies to me.

Dont tell us you didn't mean to hook up with someone you planned to hook up with.

 

[Asasione]

Sh*t happens, no need to dwell on things you can't change, if we could change our past we all would, just use this as a reminder and never repeat it. I don't see what's wrong since you were in a relationship for a day, might be a sign your current isn't offering enough as a person to keep you. Might also be a sign that you should stay single and explore your options and experience as many women as you can and get it out of your system for the sake of future relationships. Your doing a disservice to yourself by entering relationships when your hearts not in it, just have fun, relationships are a precursor to marriage and I don't think you want that

 

[Crissco]

All I would say is man...STFU.

Sounds like a couple of bar stars bumping uglies to me.

Dont tell us you didn't mean to hook up with someone you planned to hook up with.

Read what I wrote in my OP. I never said I didn't mean to. I said part of me wanted to. Meaning I knew what I was doing.

Sh*t happens, no need to dwell on things you can't change, if we could change our past we all would, just use this as a reminder and never repeat it. I don't see what's wrong since you were in a relationship for a day, might be a sign your current isn't offering enough as a person to keep you. Might also be a sign that you should stay single and explore your options and experience as many women as you can and get it out of your system for the sake of future relationships. Your doing a disservice to yourself by entering relationships when your hearts not in it, just have fun, relationships are a precursor to marriage and I don't think you want that

I had enough girls. Which is why I've been vearing towards a relationship. I can pick up girls and bed them no problem anymore, but when it comes to relationships, I'm lost completely. And yes I do feel like something is missing with my current GF.

 

[Desdinova]

i was having doubts in my relashionship already about this girl(Part of me wanted her, and wanted to screw around).

If you were in a LTR with a genuinely fantastic woman, you wouldn't have had the urge to call up your ex-fb. The fact that you're having doubts about your gf shows that you're not genuinely happy with her.

A woman should add happiness to your life, not take it away.

If your gf isn't fulfilling the majority of your needs, then you're going to look elsewhere to have them fulfilled. Turning to your fb was one way of doing it. I'd take this as a sign that your gf isn't right for you, combined with the fact that you're having doubts.

 

[Crissco]

If you were in a LTR with a genuinely fantastic woman, you wouldn't have had the urge to call up your ex-fb. The fact that you're having doubts about your gf shows that you're not genuinely happy with her.

A woman should add happiness to your life, not take it away.

If your gf isn't fulfilling the majority of your needs, then you're going to look elsewhere to have them fulfilled. Turning to your fb was one way of doing it. I'd take this as a sign that your gf isn't right for you, combined with the fact that you're having doubts.

I know man. There are certain areas of her I just don't like, but certain areas I really do, but the fact I cheated shows more, that 1. I might not be ready, and 2. My GF isn't right for me.

She was also my ex. So if I break this off this is going to be the second time I've done this this year. Esp after we both said were gonna try to work on it bc we both know we're not good at relationships. I'm still a little torn on what to do.

 

[Crissco]

Double post

 

[limerickdesign]

so many women have multiple "boyfriends" they do all kinds of random activities with. Why cant men have multiple partners and screen till they find the one.

 

[Crissco]

so many women have multiple "boyfriends" they do all kinds of random activities with. Why cant men have multiple partners and screen till they find the one.

I did have multiple girls. 4 to be exact. I thought of the girl I thought of the most and was most comfortable with, and made her my GF. I think I was wrong in my decision though. When I think of her I get a knot in my stomach of her being with someone else it kills me. Why? Bc she's a challenge. Most of my GFs waited on me hand and foot. She doesn't. She's indapendent.

Truth is when I think of my FB I feel happy and content. Even the sex is better with the FB. But she's not a challenge. So am of right now I am sorta stuck.

 

[Epimanes]

Ltr's take an equal amount of work on both parties. It never comes easy (but its def possible to have a fantastic marriage or ltr btw)You should tell your gf what you did so she can make choices about her life. Be a man. Own what you did and don't hide behind a lie. While your at it go for std checkup.

 

[Warrior74]

I did have multiple girls. 4 to be exact. I thought of the girl I thought of the most and was most comfortable with, and made her my GF. I think I was wrong in my decision though. When I think of her I get a knot in my stomach of her being with someone else it kills me. Why? Bc she's a challenge. Most of my GFs waited on me hand and foot. She doesn't. She's indapendent.

Truth is when I think of my FB I feel happy and content. Even the sex is better with the FB. But she's not a challenge. So am of right now I am sorta stuck.

You wanna be married to a challenge? Think about that. You said yourself, people want what they can't have. When does that challenge stop? Does it stop?

You like your sweet submissive FB. You know that feels right. Bro. Go back to spinning plates. You gave up your freedom to win the challenge. Did you win? What did you win? Do you even know?

 

[Crissco]

I already broke it off bro. Did about 45 min ago. Had to be done. I have the FB coming over tonight.

 

[BudaBing]

Dude, if your GF doesn't know about it then it never happened.

Also, if you treat your GF top notch on a pedestal like a queen all the time then you getting a little play on the side shouldn't be a problem.

Men weren't built to have one woman. Genetically we are hard wired to spread our seed in as far and wide a net as possible to breed strong offspring.

I have a great woman who I treat exceptionally well making her feel special all the time. However, she has gained weight and I told her plainly just recently lose the weight or lose us.

She's now working her a*s off exercising and watching her diet very carefully now because she knows we could be over soon.

Even with this effort at this point if opportunity presented itself I'd definitely tap some new a*s on the side. Life's too short.

 

[BudaBing]

Honestly you shouldnt be in a relationship.

You dont sound like someone who is capable of actually truly loving another person.

4 girls at once? What- do you think you're God's gift to the world?

This site is not for men. This site is for apes pretending to be human...then they sit around and encourage each other to be more ape-like.

I hope you dumped your GF- she sounds like she deserves better. All you low-class ****ty men that think you deserve nice, loyal, nurturing women make me laugh hysterically.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

So you're upset about a promise you made your adolescent self at 15?

Do you think maybe you can understand what your Dad was experiencing when he did what he did? Do you think maybe there was more going on in his situation at that time than you were aware of?

Stop beating yourself up over this, you didn't kill anyone. And despite KIM's histrionics you should be dating 5 women concurrently at your age; it's called Plate Theory. The only thing I can fault you with is committing to some kind of exclusivity with the GF in the first place.