Feel Like I lost FACE

[The Mad Ghost]

Skeletons in Mad Ghost's closet:

I CAN'T GET OVER MY EX. It's been f-ing over 8 months now and I still feel like I've lost face, I've changed jobs, I've moved on, on the outside, fvcked numerous girls after her, but I still feel ENRAGED. Honestly, no matter what you say, I will get REVENGE one way or another.

After we broke up, about 4 months into it, she got into ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. I get all my Intel from facebook, she's writing status' on behalf of her ......BOYFRIEND. Exactly as she used to do with me.

This leads me to believe that I was just another ....SUCKER on her boyfriends list. I really LOVED her, I did. When she fell pregnant, I wasn't like "F.UCK", I wanted to be a father, I wanted that role, because I suffered with ONEitis then. Looking back, it was probably a good thing she had a miscarrage.

She's always at the back of my head, no matter how much I try not to think about her and the emotional turmoil back then, I CAN'T GET RID OF IT.

So I drink, and it eases the pain. I've even written down "my actions" on spreadsheets on when, how and why I'm carrying out an offensive on her father and her. Everytime I see a new update on her Facebook - regarding her boyfriend - I log onto firearms websites to see which MOST INTIMIDATING arms I can purchase, but I don't carry out, because I have my LIFE to think about.

It's that ......DEEP. My love for her is DANGEROUS. I followed everything by the textbook rules after the breakup, yet it still feels as if it wasn't worth it and I still took a ....LOSS.

Serious condition, SORRY FOR THE RANT as I'm being unproductive here, but I need to let out some steam. I don't think anyone here has ever been in my position or felt this tense towards such a woman. I don't want to see her DEAD, I want her to suffer a thousand nights sleep like how I did for eternity ....CALL ME BITTER, CALL ME CRAZY, CALL ME ONEitis. I don't know what to do.

 

[Gameness]

I think it will make you feel better about yourself if you hear someone else's story who had a worse break up. I was together with my ex for 4 years, we knew each other since childhood...the perfect relationship, perfect sex, perfect everything. She would do ANYTHING I told her, and I gave her my all.

After 4 years of loving each other (whatever that means), ONE MONTH after we broke up...she MARRIED and got pregnant with a guy and is conceiving his child in a couple of weeks.

Why did I not go ballistic? Because during these years, I knew in the back of my head that she wanted to marry young no matter what, even if it wasn't with me. She still told me she loved me after she married. What a sl*t huh?

Get on with your life my friend. I left for Brazil for 2 months and had a blast, erase her from your facebook friends immediatly and dont look back. Or you will dig deeper and deeper until you break.

 

[Iceberg]

Skeletons in Mad Ghost's closet:

I CAN'T GET OVER MY EX. It's been f-ing over 8 months now and I still feel like I've lost face, I've changed jobs, I've moved on, on the outside, fvcked numerous girls after her, but I still feel ENRAGED. Honestly, no matter what you say, I will get REVENGE one way or another.

Whoa. The best revenge is living well.

After we broke up, about 4 months into it, she got into ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. I get all my Intel from facebook, she's writing status' on behalf of her ......BOYFRIEND. Exactly as she used to do with me.

Not really a big deal. I mean, what was she gonna do, take a year off? She found a dude she liked and she started dating him. My ex of 2-years started dating a new guy after about 4-5 months. I guess I didn't take it hard because I broke up with her...but still, it's good for her. You don't want someone you cared about sitting around miserable for years at a time.

So I drink, and it eases the pain. I've even written down "my actions" on spreadsheets on when, how and why I'm carrying out an offensive on her father and her. Everytime I see a new update on her Facebook - regarding her boyfriend - I log onto firearms websites to see which MOST INTIMIDATING arms I can purchase, but I don't carry out, because I have my LIFE to think about.

What are you gonna do with a firearm, man? Shoot somebody for finding a new relationship? Think about that, dude. Doesn't even make sense.

Delete her from your facebook. That's what I do with ex's. You don't need to see their pictures, updates, etc. That's a distraction.

Serious condition, SORRY FOR THE RANT as I'm being unproductive here, but I need to let out some steam. I don't think anyone here has ever been in my position or felt this tense towards such a woman. I don't want to see her DEAD, I want her to suffer a thousand nights sleep like how I did for eternity ....CALL ME BITTER, CALL ME CRAZY, CALL ME ONEitis. I don't know what to do.

Well, this is a better place to vent than on the phone with her, or with your local gun dealer. You just gotta learn that hurting is a part of the process. Sometimes it's supposed to hurt. People have been hurt worse than you and made it through.

 

[nismo-4]

TL; DR!

Seems like you still have this oneitis. Like Iceberg said, live your life well FTW! Shooting a woman for breaking up with you isn't worth your life, nor is it worth jail time. I will not give a woman my heart until she gives me hers, and it won't even be right then and there. Life isn't fair. Life isn't always etched in stone. So what? You can't complain about that. Not every girl is gonna be that into you.

And you think you got it bad? Sh*t, there's always gonna be somebody who got it better than you, and someone who got it worse than you. You need to delete her from Facebook, Myspace, your phone, anything! Get her out of your mind and move on.

Sorry to say, but your princess is in another castle!

Case closed.

 

[Kailex]

Skeletons in Mad Ghost's closet:

I CAN'T GET OVER MY EX. It's been f-ing over 8 months now and I still feel like I've lost face, I've changed jobs, I've moved on, on the outside, fvcked numerous girls after her, but I still feel ENRAGED. Honestly, no matter what you say, I will get REVENGE one way or another.

Iceberg beat me to it.
There's a thread about the best revenge... and that is LIVING WELL.

After we broke up, about 4 months into it, she got into ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. I get all my Intel from facebook, she's writing status' on behalf of her ......BOYFRIEND. Exactly as she used to do with me.

Wow, it took her 4 months? That's a LONG time for a woman.
And what was she supposed to do, wait til you got married before she could move on with her life. She obviously moved on, why can't you?

And why are you stalking her through Facebook?

It's OVER. MOVE ON.

It's been 8 months so you two are obviously NEVER getting back together, so why are you still stalking her facebook? It's pointless and very fruitless.

This leads me to believe that I was just another ....SUCKER on her boyfriends list.

Yes, you are a sucker. But not for the reasons you believe... but for the reason that you can't get over a woman who already moved on. It's not like she's hovering around and teasing you with the possibility of getting back together. She has a whole new life and you are dwelling on it STILL. If she would have swung branches mid-relationship, then, yes, you were a sucker. But it was FOUR MONTHS AFTER.

I really LOVED her, I did. When she fell pregnant, I wasn't like "F.UCK", I wanted to be a father, I wanted that role, because I suffered with ONEitis then. Looking back, it was probably a good thing she had a miscarrage.

She's always at the back of my head, no matter how much I try not to think about her and the emotional turmoil back then, I CAN'T GET RID OF IT.

So I drink, and it eases the pain. I've even written down "my actions" on spreadsheets on when, how and why I'm carrying out an offensive on her father and her. Everytime I see a new update on her Facebook - regarding her boyfriend - I log onto firearms websites to see which MOST INTIMIDATING arms I can purchase, but I don't carry out, because I have my LIFE to think about.[/QUOTE]

I'm glad she had a miscarriage too. We've all had "bad thoughts" but I don't ever remember thinking that I'd need a firearm and much LESS go onto a website and ponder which one was intimidating enough...

That's downright scary and I think at this point, you should really seek some professional help.

This is beyond the normal and healthy levels of coping with a past relationship.

It's been 8 months and you've contemplated not only hurting her, but her father too???

It's that ......DEEP. My love for her is DANGEROUS.

Don't confuse LOVE with OBSESSION.

I followed everything by the textbook rules after the breakup, yet it still feels as if it wasn't worth it and I still took a ....LOSS.

Was this before or after you were looking up firearms websites?

When a breakup happens, it should be final. It means that one of the two just isn't feeling it anymore and recovering that loving feeling is almost impossible. She wasn't right for you.

Serious condition, SORRY FOR THE RANT as I'm being unproductive here, but I need to let out some steam. I don't think anyone here has ever been in my position or felt this tense towards such a woman. I don't want to see her DEAD, I want her to suffer a thousand nights sleep like how I did for eternity ....CALL ME BITTER, CALL ME CRAZY, CALL ME ONEitis. I don't know what to do.

Again, like I said... I think you need to go seek some help. You don't want her dead, but you wanted to buy a gun? And do what? Wave it at her? You want her to suffer?

I know what you should do... delete her god damn Facebook and any other trace of her you have in your life. Throw away those pictures you still have of her (Oh you KNOW you still have some). Go talk to a shrink. You're problem is deeper than just some online forum advice.

You are a wreck of a person and I can clearly see that now...
You are a glutton for punishment (I saw your thread about the cougar, clearly you like drama).

It's time to change this situation around and it starts with YOU and only YOU.

Please... seek help and face those inner demons.
Wanting someone to suffer is one thing, but wanting them to suffer and MEAN it the way you do... is definitely something else...

 

[thecurtainfalls]

I don't think anyone here has ever been in my position or felt this tense towards such a woman.

This is where you're misguided.

Yes, you are definitely exhibiting abnormally hate-filled behavior/obsession, but the premise that you are the only one who has been absolutely shattered by a relationship dissolving is absurd.

Going through this pain and emerging on the other side intact is part of being a MAN. It is something that all of us, who have spent our lives LIVING and taking risks, have had to deal with at some point or another (often, multiple times).

We could all tell our similar tales of the fairytale relationship turning to a nightmare. I'm 8 months out from my breakup, and although I'm starting to date a new girl I still think about my ex from time to time. I lived with her for 3 years, the most experience-filled and formative 3 years of my life. Do I lay expectations on myself to suddenly not care about that chapter or ever think about it or her again? Of course not, that would be ridiculous. Despite the fact that I'm now in better shape, making more money, new car, dating a nicer and equally cute girl, sometimes I still find myself feeling depressed about that chapter of my life being over.

But you need to learn how to channel that in a healthy way, man. Looking at guns online and fantasizing about horrible things does NOTHING to her, but is VERY destructive towards your own mental state. The only person you are harming right now with your intense anger and obsession is YOURSELF. Please try to really realize that.

You need to delete her facebook RIGHT AWAY. There is nothing to gain by obsessing over a chapter of your life that is over. Deal with your grief in a positive way (music, art, hobbies, working out), and allow your mind to heal instead of living your life in a seething anger day in and day out that affects no one but yourself.

 

[masterpiece]

I know how u feel last April me and me ex broke up. At the time she was the love of my life and i would do anything for her.it was a real nasty break up i wont go into it. It took me 8-9 months to get over her and this happened by completely removing any and all contact i had with her, i also had her on facebook and it was a big mistake as you need to move on and by seeing her on facebook, you here everything she does, see it in pics etc and this just makes it worse.

I was like you i just couldn't get over her and i wondered what was wrong with me.I to had alot of hate and hurt feelings over her and i thought these wernt going to end. I healed when i cut all contact with her and started to date other women as you realize that its not the end of the world and there will be other women out there for you.

I have now found a new girl who is twice as good as my ex, so keep at it and eventually she will fade from your memory.

Like i say in my Sig, get Ur revenge by living the better life.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

I don't care, if you think I'm Crazy for saying what I'm saying, my actions are JUSTIFIED, Kailex.

I'm not telling the whole story - the very fact that I haven't DONE anything yet, should tell you that I'm still not broken. I allowed myself to get psychologically shattered by her back then, if I did not find this site, I would probably be down and out.

I say things which I don't mean, it helps me saying things I WANT TO DO, when I know I won't. This isn't some case of FATAL ATTRACTION or OBSESSION. I dont stalk her .........HER FRIENDS are my friends to a degree. I HAVE to see them nearly every day. For the last few months we broke up, I was FLYINGG. I didn't care, but like someone else said here, I cant help but look down on that past of my life and roll over about it.

Her father is the reason she had a MISCARRIAGE and was extremely helpful to why we broke up. I've been in plenty of positions to commit acts of revenge on her, but I haven't. Yet, she tells me I'm the reason for her MISCARRIAGE - Because she was crying, drank, and thats when it happend, over an arguement.

Why would I want this drama, matter of fact, why would you call this some RANDOM DRAMA Kailex? and tell me to visit a specialist? Thats a low blow, especially if you haven't been here and done that. This was the woman that was carrying my seed and you say it's some "drama" because of some stupid Cougar thread?

You can't be serious and say you do not get that sudden thought of a ....SKULLF.UCKING on you're ex, depending on how you broke up that is. Theres always a REASON behind everything. I'm a pretty "un-caring" person when it comes to DUMPING or being dumped, but there was far more psychological problems with this one for me. When we broke up, the next day I still went to her Mom's workplace and brought her some flowers for all the emotions me and her daughter put her through.

I shouldn't have to think, that, that baby COULDN'T of been mine or a possibility that it wasn't mine. This is the closure I still havent recieved and will NEVER GET. She used to tell me how her father beat her with a hanger, because of her pregnancy, kicked her out and didn't have nowehere to go. Me, muggins, let her crash for a few months till she was on her feet.

I have a whole saved archive of her mouthing me off for over 2 hours ONLINE and telling me what I'm not. So I don't take kindly to you're recommendations on psychologist specialists. My heart is PURE, not evil and my actions, (if carried out) are justified. My problem is not her in ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. It's a rebound, that I know. Thats not the plight here. It's her lack of consideration for life and others that surround it.

 

[starplayer]

Read this thread by Rollo on Accepting Rejection.

But if you are still interested, THIS is the best revenge to get on an ex who dumped you.

This is not love. It is obsession. She has bruised your ego and you want to get back at her. This is very AFC.

Your situation is NOT different. EVERY SINGLE GUY on this forum (and in the world) has been screwed over by a woman at one time or another. It's part of life. Get over it.

She hasn't even really screwed you over. I dread to think what you would be like if your wife cheated on you or something. In this situation she is not the problem. YOU ARE.

It is TOTALLY normal to have feelings of anger after rejection. I've experienced it myself. However, I know that i will never act on the anger in a violent way. Start boxing or working out or something and release your anger that way.

Just know that the feelings of hurt and anger you have towards her WILL PASS. It just takes time.

She's moved on. So should you.

GO FVCK TEN OTHER WOMEN!!!

 

[BeyondCharm]

Your latest post is a cry from the pity pot. I don't feel sorry for you. I've been dumped by exes who were cheating with other men. I moved on, I learned about the quality of the woman I wanted in the future, I learned about my own actions that led up to it.

You are feeling sorry for yourself and feeling like you are a victim, hence your reasons for saying your actions would be justified. Only victims feel revenge is justified... And you are not as much of a victim as you have tried to convince us to believe. You have only showed us the parts you want us to see. That isn't relevant though. What is relevant is you are not a free man, instead you are shackled to your own misery, contentment, anger and hate.

The victim mentality is a weak state of mind and one you'll need to transcend in order to be free. Even if you have been done wrong by her, her father or anyone, your resentments and anger are only hurting you at the moment.

You need to make a choice: Is it more important to be free or be right?

If freedom comes secondary to being right then you will continue to suffer.

 

[Iceberg]

I don't care, if you think I'm Crazy for saying what I'm saying, my actions are JUSTIFIED, Kailex.

The action of being extremely angry and maybe a little depressed?

Her father is the reason she had a MISCARRIAGE and was extremely helpful to why we broke up. I've been in plenty of positions to commit acts of revenge on her, but I haven't. Yet, she tells me I'm the reason for her MISCARRIAGE - Because she was crying, drank, and thats when it happend, over an arguement.

So her father's a d-bag, and she's delusional. Good thing you're not involved with them anymore.

Why would I want this drama, matter of fact, why would you call this some RANDOM DRAMA Kailex? and tell me to visit a specialist? Thats a low blow, especially if you haven't been here and done that. This was the woman that was carrying my seed and you say it's some "drama" because of some stupid Cougar thread?

Well, this woman who was carrying your seed is nearly a year removed from being with you, and she's seemed to move on just fine. Perhaps it's time you do too.

Theres always a REASON behind everything. I'm a pretty "un-caring" person when it comes to DUMPING or being dumped, but there was far more psychological problems with this one for me. When we broke up, the next day I still went to her Mom's workplace and brought her some flowers for all the emotions me and her daughter put her through.

Weird. But still, months and months ago.

I shouldn't have to think, that, that baby COULDN'T of been mine or a possibility that it wasn't mine. This is the closure I still havent recieved and will NEVER GET. She used to tell me how her father beat her with a hanger, because of her pregnancy, kicked her out and didn't have nowehere to go. Me, muggins, let her crash for a few months till she was on her feet.

And the fact that you are now SEPARATED from this drama pisses you off?

I have a whole saved archive of her mouthing me off for over 2 hours ONLINE and telling me what I'm not. So I don't take kindly to you're recommendations on psychologist specialists. My heart is PURE, not evil and my actions, (if carried out) are justified. My problem is not her in ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. It's a rebound, that I know. Thats not the plight here. It's her lack of consideration for life and others that surround it.

Good thing you're not dating her anymore.

Look, I've been angry at girls before. But you're taking this hard....and in a weird way. Professional help isn't necessarily an insult. If one of your buddies came over to your house, spouting the same stuff you are right now, you'd be telling him the same things we're telling you. Summary - a nutty dramatic girl is no longer in your life. It's been nearly a year. And if it bothers you THIS MUCH, then it's a deeper form of anger than most people experience.

 

[Kailex]

I don't care, if you think I'm Crazy for saying what I'm saying, my actions are JUSTIFIED, Kailex.

I'm not telling the whole story

Then maybe you should, because almost everyone has stated the same facts as I did within the same time frame.

We're going off of what YOU write and if you only write a fraction, don't expect us to have the scope of the situation that YOU have.

Don't be unrealistic.

- the very fact that I haven't DONE anything yet, should tell you that I'm still not broken.

Notice how you used the word: STILL.

At no point do you say: I won't be broken. This will not defeat me.

YOU said: I'm still not broken.

Buddy, you are WELL on your way to get there. The fact that you were on a website looking up GUNS would suggest that you are straddling a VERY fine line between thoughts and actions.

I allowed myself to get psychologically shattered by her back then, if I did not find this site, I would probably be down and out.

Allowed implies PAST TENSE. You are still psychologically shattered.

Hence... why I suggested seeing someone.

See how you are agreeing with my assessment subconsciously?
I didn't say it... YOU DID.

You were shattered...PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
So why attack me and say it's a low blow to suggest talking to some professional help?

I say things which I don't mean, it helps me saying things I WANT TO DO, when I know I won't. This isn't some case of FATAL ATTRACTION or OBSESSION.

You looked up guns.
You want her to suffer.
You look up her Facebook.

What part of that is NOT obsessive?

I dont stalk her

Why are you looking at her status updates.
BTW, why are you looking up her boyfriend's Facebook as well. You said she was updating HIS status as well.

.........HER FRIENDS are my friends to a degree. I HAVE to see them nearly every day. For the last few months we broke up, I was FLYINGG. I didn't care, but like someone else said her, I cant help but look down on that past of my life and roll over about it.

Her father is the reason she had a MISCARRIAGE and was extremely helpful to why we broke up. I've been in plenty of positions to commit acts of revenge on her, but I haven't. Yet, she tells me I'm the reason for her MISCARRIAGE - Because she was crying, drank, and thats when it happend, over an arguement.

Sorry to hear about the miscarriage, btw.
But apparently in this case, it might have been for the best. You don't see that now, maybe ever...

Why would I want this drama, matter of fact, why would you call this some RANDOM DRAMA Kailex? and tell me to visit a specialist? Thats a low blow, especially if you haven't been here and done that. This was the woman that was carrying my seed and you say it's some "drama" because of some stupid Cougar thread?

Don't get my words confused. I didn't say this drama was BECAUSE of the thread. I think you need to read responses and process the information before trying to post back in what is clearly... anger.

You can't be serious and say you do not get that sudden thought of a ....SKULLF.UCKING on you're ex. Depending on you broke up that is. Theres always a REASON behind everything. I'm a pretty "un-caring" person when it comes to DUMPING or being dumped, but there was far more psychological problems with this one for me.

Again, the word psychological pops up and YOU were the one saying it.

So again, how is it a low blow for me to mention you sitting down and talking to someone. Just because you go to a psychiatrist, it doesn't mean you are crazy. You just need someone to talk to who can help you sort out those feelings.

BTW, think twice the next time you want to come and post something like this on an online forum. You won't always get a pity response... you won't always get the response you want to hear.

Just be glad that all of the responses so far, have been mature in their assessment of your situation...

But here's the earlier quote that I missed...

I don't think anyone here has ever been in my position or felt this tense towards such a woman.

Here you are, once again, admitting that something is terribly wrong. Either that, or it's a call for attention. Which one is it? You're already saying your situation is absolutely unique, yet there are 68,000 users+ at SoSuave. You think no one here has ever been in a situation like this? Maybe some have been in situations like it... but don't know that anyone has looked up guns.

And I've been dumped before... and you know what I did... I coped with it, got over it, forgot the person and moved on. Since then, I've met so many more women that were MUCH better than her.

You CAN get past this... but my point is, it's been almost a year and you STILL feel this strongly about seeing her suffer... that is NOT healthy, no matter who you are.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Mad Ghost, some members have taken the time to write you some extremely fair and useful responses. I truly hope that you take the time to internalize some of the things being said.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

Kailex,

So because she is in a current rebound relationship qualifies her as apparently ....MOVING ON? What crock of shyt is that dude, I'm disappointed you said that, because I take keen interest in you're ONEITIS Battles. You say "weird" like a HS female on a partyline, on the borderline, trying to shame me. Outside the Internet Walls, I'm not the weird one, people outside of here could say registering and posting up perodic events of a oneitis battle to be in a LTR is weird. Those that are in my company know my reasons for the majority of all my actions.

But when did it come apparent that girls move on because they appear to be in NEW RELATIONSHIPS? All it is, to keep up her Whor'ing ways and to label it a "Relatonship" until she can swing to the next branch and get a different emotion off of the next guy, and so on. Stop telling me to seek professional help, thats what pvssies say, man. After reading that Rollo link on Rejection, it has taken some toll on me .....BUT I'm not saying I still don't believe in what I believe in.

BeyondCharm - On another note, why the hell would I want any sympathy, here, on SS. Be realistic. If that was the case, I would be asking "Why" questions. Feeling sorry for myself? Really, is that why I was ready to do something about my problems. I don't understand the precipitation of "The best revenge is living well", why not strike whilst the iron's hot? And whose to say that ..Oh some day when I have my multi-million dollar business and a hotter babe on my arms, she'll whither in dispair on what she missed out on. Thats what ....FANATICS think about. How many of us are actually going to have the "Best revenge on an ex that dumped us" like that? Very few, I reckon. It seems like alot of guys that got the DUMP STAMP, needed to be in new relationships for their heartache to disappear, look at the replies?

I've ...F.UCKED ten and more girls since then - and I still feel the same way.

But you know what, I need time to digest this stuff, so forgive me if I came off as a douche here.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

Why do you even NEED 'revenge?' What difference does it make??

You're not thinking clearly. You're too emotional. And if its bothering you this much, you SHOULD GET HELP.

I did for a few months a couple years ago, and if anything it just made me realize 'I' was the problem because of my own thinking patterns. If that makes me a p*ssy, oh well. I'll take being this p*ssy any day over the mess I was in the past. TRUST ME.

 

[Tesl]

You need professional help. Seriously.

 

[Ease]

Not face, i think you lost your mind.

 

[Kailex]

I'll try to say this in a much more... less confronting way so that maybe, Mad Ghost, you can understand the point I am trying to convey.

Imagine, for just a second, that you are a genuine poster who is concerned about his fellow forum posters. Imagine that you sit here and you often give advice and sometimes take it and you notice a trend in posts:

- When should I call?
- What should I do?

Stuff like this... is the norm.

But then along comes Poster X.

Poster X has a few posts in the forums and is new. He seems to have an amicable demeanor about him in previous posts, but then all of a sudden he posts this:

Honestly, no matter what you say, I will get REVENGE one way or another.

Everytime I see a new update on her Facebook - regarding her boyfriend - I log onto firearms websites to see which MOST INTIMIDATING arms I can purchase, but I don't carry out, because I have my LIFE to think about.

My love for her is DANGEROUS.

I don't want to see her DEAD, I want her to suffer a thousand nights sleep like how I did for eternity.

Mad Ghost, my immediate thought when replying to you... was CONCERN. Although I'm an official member for only 4 months, I have been a lurker for the longest of times. And it's very rare to see a post with such strong wording.

When I suggested you "talk to someone", I did not mean it in a condescending way nor did I mean it as an insult... I meant it as a general concern for your mental well-being.

You are subconsciously trying to reach out to people, which is why you posted such dark thoughts here on a forum.

This is a forum dedicated to the well-being of men and how that can lead to success with women.

Is my Journal about Oneitis "weird"? Yes. It is.
Is your ex's relationship probably a rebound relationship? Probably.
Am I worried about you as a person? Yes, I definitely am.

Sometimes thoughts get the worst of us at the worst possible times.

I don't know how close you live to your ex anymore, but if your thoughts are like this from status updates on a Facebook alone... what will happen if you ever bumped into her and she was standing with her new boyfriend and they're holding hands and kissing?

Right now, you have stepped out of a world of anguish from that relationship, with an abusive father that she had... you are being given a second chance to turn your life around, but you can't do that until you let go of that past with her.

So again, I suggested professional help, simply because it can do good for a lot of us. And I'm sure that there are more men here, who just simply haven't admitted to it, that have actually sought out help in coping.

I really do wish you the best of luck in dealing with this Ghost. Clearly, this will most likely be my last comment in this thread. It seems that anything I say to you is almost like a provocation, and that's not my aim in these responses. I want you to become a better man out of this situation, not to be the subject of internet humiliation (that's just pointless).

Good luck with this situation. I know you have it in you to turn this around.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

So it turns out my ex is having a baby with this guy,

I'm not upset, just lost in closure? Why did she abort our baby, but is having this guys child? She said she wanted to finish her career and have everything ready for the baby so that is why she was doing it (aborting).

She STILL hasnt finished her career, hasn't been with this guy for atleast a year but is having his child? Whats up with that? Even her father, the one who told me she wouldnt have our baby now because of her further education and career rant is being a hypocrit and applauding her.

I feel like a bottom feeder, I want to know the truths, maybe some of you old vets can help me out here?

 

[squirrels]

You PM'd me to give you advice on THIS??

The answer is obvious...it's been given to you several times on this thread. You are just too wrapped up in your emotions to think clearly.

Put down the liquor for a little while and THINK about what you're doing to yourself. This sh!t sounds unbelievably ghetto, and if you think about it for a minute, you'll realize that this ISN'T where you want to be.

You don't need guns or revenge or "closure". You need to start acting like a MAN and not like a lost 12-year-old boy with a grudge. How old ARE you, anyway? How do you expect to raise a child with an attitude like that?

Setting aside the argument of whether abortion is morally right or wrong, ask yourself, would YOU want you taking responsibility for ANOTHER LIFE? I know I wouldn't want a father who's emotionally troubled and has delusional violent fantasies. When children's futures are involved, who gives a F*CK about your "face"?

Here's my advice to you...you want to save face and regain your respect? Take RESPONSIBILITY for getting mixed up with the wrong girl, failing to use contraception, and conceiving a kid that SHE didn't want and YOU weren't ready to be a father to.

Realize you made a mistake. Own it and accept it. Don't seek vengeance on others...YOU are just as much at-fault as her or her family at this point. Be a MAN and accept it.

Then move on and do better next time. Prove you're better than your mistake. Stop stalking people on FaceBook...wish her the best she can hope to accomplish in her life, forgive her, forgive yourself, and move on to the next adventure. It's a lesson...remember it, but leave it behind.

Hopefully next time, you'll find a good woman, and when you decide to have a child, you'll be mature enough for the responsibility it entails.

Good luck, man.