had a really nice date a few days ago, all the signals were there for interest., even gave me a nice kiss goodnight. at the end however, he said to feel free to give him a call anytime. i kinda looked down and then he asked if it would be ok to call me, i said yes with enthusiasm. does this mean he probably won't call me since he didnt make specific plans about another date? should i just wait to see what happens?
"feel free to give me a call"
- Thread starter tracy1122
- Start date
Difficult to say and I'm no expert in this subject. I do know that he should call you, but that is based on what society says. It should be more equal now, where women can be more assertive. So, yes you could call him and it seems that is how he would prefer it. However, I don't see why he hasn't called you already unless he is insecure or something like that. If it was me, I would have called you already, however, I also would not mind you calling me first. I'd say call him, if it really went well then he should be receptive. Also know though, that he should have called you by now if he was going to.
doctor evil
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enuff with the cat/mouse game
tracy just call him back when you want to BUT don't call everyday or several times a day otherwise you run out of things to say. Meeting each other in public or just hanging out is better but don't overdo it and hang out everyday. Just take it slow...these things take time. Don't use up all the magic tricks in your bag so quickly.
Hope that helps
tracy just call him back when you want to BUT don't call everyday or several times a day otherwise you run out of things to say. Meeting each other in public or just hanging out is better but don't overdo it and hang out everyday. Just take it slow...these things take time. Don't use up all the magic tricks in your bag so quickly.
Hope that helps
squirrels
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Sounds like you got a real winner, there.
You're confused because he's not what you're expecting in a man...the take-charge attitude, the assertive leadership.
Personally, I WOULDN'T call him again. If he calls again, try telling him what you want, in a nice way. e.g. "Well aren't ya going to set up a date with me?
"
Maybe he needs to know it's OK to take that role.
Maybe he needs to be here learning something...about not being so damned intimidated by the possibility of offending or losing a woman that he never seeks to gain ground with her either.
Sounds like he's at least got everything else together since you're so interested. He's looking for a license to use it. He needs to learn to take that license rather than ask for it...where appropriate of course.
You're confused because he's not what you're expecting in a man...the take-charge attitude, the assertive leadership.
Personally, I WOULDN'T call him again. If he calls again, try telling him what you want, in a nice way. e.g. "Well aren't ya going to set up a date with me?
"Maybe he needs to know it's OK to take that role.
Maybe he needs to be here learning something...about not being so damned intimidated by the possibility of offending or losing a woman that he never seeks to gain ground with her either.
Sounds like he's at least got everything else together since you're so interested. He's looking for a license to use it. He needs to learn to take that license rather than ask for it...where appropriate of course.
Newsflash for women here. If the guy is shy, don't expect him to be so quick to the draw when it comes to calling. Most of these guys have enough problems talking to you much less calling you. I know women like to chat, chat, chat on the phone, but most guys don't.
If the guy is outgoing and doesn't call, a good chance is that he's not interested. If he calls and it's brief, don't take offense, he probably doesn't like talking on the phone, like me.
If the guy is outgoing and doesn't call, a good chance is that he's not interested. If he calls and it's brief, don't take offense, he probably doesn't like talking on the phone, like me.
"ok, he ended up calling me and saying he had a nice time and would like to see me again. should i call him back now or does this mean i wait for him to call me? is it possible he is just being polite?"
Was this a direct convo or voice mail message? If it was a direct convo, why was there no meeting set up? If it was a voice mail message its on you to call back. If it was me who left that message I would not be calling you again.
Was this a direct convo or voice mail message? If it was a direct convo, why was there no meeting set up? If it was a voice mail message its on you to call back. If it was me who left that message I would not be calling you again.
FreeStyleZ
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He sounds shy... guess you're gonna have to be the man in the relationship.
he left a message on my machine, he knew i would not be home that day. so does everyone agree w wtf that it means he probably wont be calling me back again? the thing that confuses me is that he defintely seemed interested in our date, it could have lasted an hour but he extnded it for like 5 hours and seemed really interesred...?
I was once a shy guy, actually I'm a recovering shy-o-holic. This is the kind of thing that shy and or low self-esteem guys tend to do. If he is not being assertive enough then maybe you ought to be. It is the turn of the century and women are starting to be more assertive in the dating game(or so I have heard. Frankly, I haven't been asked out since that one time in high school and that was about 8 years ago). Anyway, he probably had self-esteem issues. Did you make it clear to him that you enjoyed speding time with him? Some times that subtle approach doesn't work, espcially on shy guys. There would be nothing wrong with you setting up another date. If you would like him to be more assertive, then you should try hinting at it. Personally, I would be blunt and tell him that you would like him to set up dates with you as well(though my opinion might be in the minority). I tend to be a blunt person and I don't beat around the bush. This is because I used to be the opposite. All-in-all, it's good that you are keeping a dialogue open, just make sure you make it clear that you are not rejecting him and he should be able to take it from there.
FitnessGuy
Don Juan
Call him right now, you are overanalyzing everything. Why waste time worrying, just call, have fun, live life, you have nothing to lose but time you can be spending with someone you like.
An interesting theme that came out of this post is that this is the 21st century and that women if they want to be equal need to be more assertive.
Personally I think its b*llsh*t that still in todays day the man is expected to take all the risk while the girl sits there sitting on her hands.
Far out if you like the guy get out there and meet him half way. If he is shy then meet him 3/4 quaters of the way and then drag him back so its 50/50.
If women aren' prepared to put in more effort then I guess we should go back to Cave Man rules and you just wack one over the head and drag her back to the cave.
Personally I think its b*llsh*t that still in todays day the man is expected to take all the risk while the girl sits there sitting on her hands.
Far out if you like the guy get out there and meet him half way. If he is shy then meet him 3/4 quaters of the way and then drag him back so its 50/50.
If women aren' prepared to put in more effort then I guess we should go back to Cave Man rules and you just wack one over the head and drag her back to the cave.
"he left a message on my machine, he knew i would not be home that day. so does everyone agree w wtf that it means he probably wont be calling me back again? the thing that confuses me is that he defintely seemed interested in our date, it could have lasted an hour but he extnded it for like 5 hours and seemed really interesred...?"
I didn't suggest that I thought he would not be calling you back. Thats how it would work out in my world though. So, he may or may not be calling you back, different strokes for different folks.
Here is a question for you: If one of your friends called you up saying she wanted to do something, would you wait for her to call back or would you call her? My guess is, if it sounded like a good idea to you, you would be calling her.
I didn't suggest that I thought he would not be calling you back. Thats how it would work out in my world though. So, he may or may not be calling you back, different strokes for different folks.
Here is a question for you: If one of your friends called you up saying she wanted to do something, would you wait for her to call back or would you call her? My guess is, if it sounded like a good idea to you, you would be calling her.
With this situation, I'm wondering how he asked you out the first time.
If he wants to go out with you, he will call you and ask you. The phone tag might be because he forgot you wouldn't be home. (maybe not)
Either way, if he has an interest in you, he'll call. In the meantime, do your own thing.
If he wants to go out with you, he will call you and ask you. The phone tag might be because he forgot you wouldn't be home. (maybe not)
Either way, if he has an interest in you, he'll call. In the meantime, do your own thing.
isotope
Senior Don Juan
tracy, you are OVERANALYZING.
he didnt make plans because he didnt have his planner around. Many guys would rather call you and work out the details later. (at least i would). Plus, he need that time to think of where to actually take you on a date.
since he did in fact call, i would definitely say hes interested.
so why did he say the "feel free to call me" thing?
perhaps he is just aloof. or perhaps he wasnt sure if you liked him and he wanted to "throw th ball in your court."
I do this alot: i wll just give a girl my number. When i do this, I am basically saying, "Im not going to bend over backwards and get on my knees to beg you for a date. But I like you, so if you like me, then call me."
GIrls can be very hard to read sometimes (for a guy) so sometimes we just dont feel like thinking/analyzing and we put the responsibility on the girl to call.
since he KNEW that you wouldnt be home that day, he probably either didnt want to face rejection and once again wanted to gauge your interest level. Perhaps this guy is treading very softly either because he is shy or just doesnt want to come off as desperate. Or maybe he is just not good at phone convos, and didnt want the akwardness if you were not interested.
I highly doubt that he would even have bothered to call if he was really not interested.
What you want to do is smile and be friendly and nice on the next date, to let him know you like him.
Its possible that he is shy or something (i cant tell just from this.)
If you find this to be the case, you can consider making the first move. (give him a kiss on the cheek or lips at the end of the date.)
My first girlfried made the first move on me, and it was exactly the signal i needed, because i was shy and wouldnt kiss her until i knew she wanted. But once i had the signal, I no longer had doubts that she liked me.
and if he left a message on his call, then defnintely call him back and let him know you would also like to do something. He might assume that if you dont return his message that you arent interested.
(my personal rule is that if a girl doesnt return 2 messages, i never call back because i dont want to pester her.)
Also, dont worry about it Tracy.
You seem sort of underconfident and like you might be shattered if this fellow doesnt like you. DOnt worry about it, youre a girl, hes the boy. If he doesnt call you - to hell with him. THere are other guys.
Under no circumstances should you let this affect your self esteem even if this person doesnt like you. His opinion is just one of millions, and youll meet someone who appreciates you.
he didnt make plans because he didnt have his planner around. Many guys would rather call you and work out the details later. (at least i would). Plus, he need that time to think of where to actually take you on a date.
since he did in fact call, i would definitely say hes interested.
so why did he say the "feel free to call me" thing?
perhaps he is just aloof. or perhaps he wasnt sure if you liked him and he wanted to "throw th ball in your court."
I do this alot: i wll just give a girl my number. When i do this, I am basically saying, "Im not going to bend over backwards and get on my knees to beg you for a date. But I like you, so if you like me, then call me."
GIrls can be very hard to read sometimes (for a guy) so sometimes we just dont feel like thinking/analyzing and we put the responsibility on the girl to call.
since he KNEW that you wouldnt be home that day, he probably either didnt want to face rejection and once again wanted to gauge your interest level. Perhaps this guy is treading very softly either because he is shy or just doesnt want to come off as desperate. Or maybe he is just not good at phone convos, and didnt want the akwardness if you were not interested.
I highly doubt that he would even have bothered to call if he was really not interested.
What you want to do is smile and be friendly and nice on the next date, to let him know you like him.
Its possible that he is shy or something (i cant tell just from this.)
If you find this to be the case, you can consider making the first move. (give him a kiss on the cheek or lips at the end of the date.)
My first girlfried made the first move on me, and it was exactly the signal i needed, because i was shy and wouldnt kiss her until i knew she wanted. But once i had the signal, I no longer had doubts that she liked me.
and if he left a message on his call, then defnintely call him back and let him know you would also like to do something. He might assume that if you dont return his message that you arent interested.
(my personal rule is that if a girl doesnt return 2 messages, i never call back because i dont want to pester her.)
Also, dont worry about it Tracy.
You seem sort of underconfident and like you might be shattered if this fellow doesnt like you. DOnt worry about it, youre a girl, hes the boy. If he doesnt call you - to hell with him. THere are other guys.
Under no circumstances should you let this affect your self esteem even if this person doesnt like you. His opinion is just one of millions, and youll meet someone who appreciates you.
OK, it's been a week now, definitly not a good sign. Do guys normally leave a sweet message the next day suggesting getting together again as just a common courtesy? Ive never had this happen to me before where a guy actually calls the next day but then you don't hear from him, lol. In case he ends up popping up at some point in the future, what is the best way to handle it? Do you pretend that you haven't noiced and be sweet or do you give him the finger? Lol, hypothetically of course since I assume I won't be hearing from him!
