Fear

[dearsappho]

Fear of approach is construct designed in part, I would imagine, to prevent over-population.

Its essentially nature/nuture debate; the argument being: is fear of approach a natural state of mind or is is synthetic?

Either way it is possible to traverse the quagmire via the process of application

It is still interesting to attempt to deduce whether fear (or afc'ness) is innate or acquired.

 

[Virtú]

Both Nature and Nurture conspire to create AFCs, or men who fail to be masculine in all aspects of life, not just in getting laid.

Inferior (i.e. unmasculine) genes definitely contribute to it: small, weak, low test levels, aesthetically deficient, etc.
And since genes also have an effect on personality and behavior traits, the same genes can make a guy timid, introverted, overly sensitive, and unambitious, all unmasculine traits.

Nurture also plays an important role: lack of a strong masculine model, overprotective mother, overinvolved parents, sheltered and easy life, unmasculine values, etc.
These things will all raise you to be less of a man than a guy who grew up in some ghetto with the law of the jungle and a tough S.O.B. for a father.

The challenge for the AFC is to imagine and then actualize who he would be if he had been born with perfect genes and had not been raised in such a pussifying manner and environment, because such an existence is pretty much beyond anything he knows or understands.

15-20 YEARS OF A SHELTERED AND UNDEMANDING LIFE - this, probably more than anything else, is what makes the AFC so susceptible to fear, pain, and difficulty.

 

[Oxide]

Great post!

I don't want to be a shameless self promoter, but i will be in this case anyway


In my life i have approached girls who were GORGEOUS. I was shaking inside, mind racing, not knowing exactly what to do. I said One, Two, Three and walked up to them. Fear eased its grip on me. I have looked down from a 70 foot high cliff. I was to jump off it into the water far below. I was shaking inside, my mind racing, questioning my sanity for doing this. I said One, Two, Three and leaped over the edge. As i felt the rush, and realized i LOVED what i just did, i jumped from that cliff at least another 20 times. Fear eased the pressure once again. My skin thickened.

Truth is, the ONLY way to get rid of fear is to do what you are afraid anyway, and keep doing things like that and building up your tolerance. Remember when you first came to this site? I bet you were afraid to look a woman in her eyes as she walked by. I know i was. Well, what about now? Now you enjoy her beauty as you scan her naked body laying next to you....

 

[Mojo604]

Thats very very inspirational, and a very well put together thread. That last paragraph reminds me a lot of similar exercises that self-improvement people recommend, and they work:woo: . Awesome stuff.

 

[josh1]

Great post, congratulation, and many thanks.


Just how did you overcome poverty ?


Cheers

 

[RBB]

I can barely type after all that hand clenching. Truely inspirational. I feel so relieved and "released".

I feel like doing something now I'm so pumped, :box: but it's 2am.

 

[Visceral]

Fear of effort, fear of failure, even fear of your own power ... even fear of success - this is a hydra with many heads we face.

However, I don't think it's fear alone that makes men avoid approaching women, or doing anything else that would make their lives better.

I'd be willing to bet that a lot, if not most, of these men also think they don't deserve better, that their opinion of themselves is so low that they find a certain cruel justice in their miserable state.

 

[strong like bull]

Og Mandino once said that strong men control their thoughts with their actions.

so true. dont let your fears and worries direct your action. TRUTHFULLY and LOGICALLY decide whats best, and then DO IT without hesitation.

one prime difference between strong and weak, winner and loser, DJ and AFC:

even though both mentally KNOW to approach the babe, score the winning goal, throw a fist into the enemy's nose... its the WINNER, the STRONG, the DJ who grab their balls, OVERCOME THEIR FEAR and DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

just like John Wayne told you. courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyways.

-SLB

 

[Smooth Player 056]

100% DJ Bible Material

- Smooth Player 056 -
Founder and Creator of the HSDJBC/ Contest
Founder of Ultimate HSDJ Technique

 

[nosexbox]

What I find fascinating is how fear manifests in our consciousness. When I'm in proximity to an attractive girl, or I'm in the situation where I need to call someone... it's amazing how many different reasons for not doing what needs to be done that my brain can come up with. "you don't have time" "she's too young" "she's too hot" "she looks like a *****" "you already got a number this week" and so on.

And it's not like you sit there analyzing her, TRYING to come up with a reason. Your brain just pumps it out.

 

[RBB]

This thread MADE me go out there and approach a HB lastnight. I'm still so friggin' pumped. I will read this whenever I'm down. I'm gonna read it before I go do my BCing exercises. Yeshh!! :rockon:

 

[r4zor]

wow! great post! this really motivates...

 

[sol2k]

bump

 

[sensefull]

gureat thread.

 

[Mojo604]

Great post, all I wanted to sa...*interrupted* -Bump-.

 

[Krassus]

Just stumbled into this article again I'm gonna update and revise it over the next couple of days.