Fear of rejection really sucks

[Groverz]

Been going through things in my head and I am a typical Nice guy most times, or at least when I am trying to impress someone. The girls I want I never seem to say what I really want because I am scared I will offend them or piss them off or create some sort of rejection. Basically I walk on egg shells. Now with girls that are just friends to me I am a normal guy and tease them and not worried about them getting pissy at something I say or do.

Not sure of any easy way to stop myself from going super beta nice guy when I meet a girl I like. I am slowly learning it chases them away but also feel like I have to make myself go against my kind nature and force myself to back off a bit.

 

[dustmuffin]

Treat every girl like your sister. It will take time and practice. You will get the hang of it.

 

[Tictac]

The girls I want I never seem to say what I really want because I am scared I will offend them or piss them off or create some sort of rejection. Basically I walk on egg shells. Now with girls that are just friends to me I am a normal guy and tease them and not worried about them getting pissy at something I say or do.

Have you noticed yet that the girls 'that are just friends' dig you more than the girls you 'want'.

Reverse your behavior.

And why exactly do you fear rejection? For what you're talking about 'girls you want', you can't lose what you don't have.

While you're at it, check the notion that 'girls you want never seem to say what I really want'. That is cracked. Where did you get the idea that anyone is supposed to say what you'd like them to?

 

[Groverz]

I only read the title and this is what I want to tell you:
Get over it.

Literally. Stop fvcking caring, it's so easy. Walk around not worrying what others think of you, but what you think of them. Same with women. You're the judge, feeling them out to see if they meet your criteria.

Turn off the self-critical narrative in your brain and you'll be free.

Working on that, not too easy

 

[NSX-R]

I remember the first time i rode a bicycle in my life, before it i had so much fear riding because I thought i was going to fall, until one day , I said to myself " f- it , let's do it" . Borrowed the bicycle of a friend and I tried to ride it. On the first meters I struggled holding balance but in the end it felt quite natural riding it and guess what, the fear was gone.

It's the same when approaching a female, before you talk to her , you are full of doubts which makes your mind frozen and you are unable to act. Once you make up your mind, you will think " what do I have to lose? Nothing " and you are approaching the girl. At first you will struggle by trying to adjust into it but if you keep on trying , it's going to be the most natural thing to you.

Hesitation is like masturbation: In the end you are only screwing yourself. Young Juan

 

[Groverz]

Ya I need to start doing some approaching, I suck pretty bad at it.

 

[Afrei]

fear of rejection is a normal thing most of us have it, however the more you start approaching women the less fear you will have.it is something you must experience and with time you will give to **** if you got rejected or not, god know how many time i gotten rejected. bottom line if you don't open your mouth and made mistakes you wont learn. i have a mild stuttering problem and if i got over it, sure as hell you can.

 

[WanderingMan]

Focus on other things besides her looks. What else does she have to offer? Judge her character.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I don't fear rejection no more. When it happens I forget about it in 3 seconds and say to myself "well that was fun..another notch on my belt, more experience"

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Without pain, we stagnate by virtue of complacency in the present state of affairs. Rejection (and pain), thus, is a blessing necessary to catalyze self principal improvements. Need not fear rejection; instead ... embrace it.

 

[stevo]

This practice will help you.

When I start going into outer space over a girl I just met, this is how I come back to earth.

Always take a bathroom break. Always!

This is the time you recheck your frame, plan your escalation and adjust anything else.

Also remind yourself:
5 reasons why I'm too good for her.

5 reasons why she's not good enough for me. (You'll be surprised what your mind will come up with and when you cant think of anything to disqualify, find something)

At the end of the day, they'll fall off of any pedestal you put them on, so don't even bother putting them on any.

 

[Groverz]

This practice will help you.

When I start going into outer space over a girl I just met, this is how I come back to earth.

Always take a bathroom break. Always!

This is the time you recheck your frame, plan your escalation and adjust anything else.

Also remind yourself:
5 reasons why I'm too good for her.

5 reasons why she's not good enough for me. (You'll be surprised what your mind will come up with and when you cant think of anything to disqualify, find something)

At the end of the day, they'll fall off of any pedestal you put them on, so don't even bother putting them on any.

Good ideas. I do see myself very quickly putting some girls up on a pedestal and ignoring the negatives, when I start to focus more on them I can knock her down a few pegs.

 

[3agle 3yes]

OP, you must meet and spend time with men who are good with women. Second to that is watching YouTube videos or listening to things that teach how to be better with women and listen to it over and over and over again.

 

[Southbound29]

OP, Please for the love of god go to youtube and type in "Black Phillip Show". The host is Patrice O'Neil (R.I.P). This guy knew his ****. Listen to every single show you can find. Listen to them several times if you have to. Pay special attention to how he talks to the women on the show. You will see that he can be nice sometimes but he doesn't put up with any of their ****. He makes no apologies for what he says and he stands his ground and shuts women down when they try to pull their arsenal of bull**** out of their ass. This show isn't a cure all but it will definitely help put you in a different frame of mind with women and people in general.

 

[WanderingMan]

This practice will help you.

When I start going into outer space over a girl I just met, this is how I come back to earth.

Always take a bathroom break. Always!

This is the time you recheck your frame, plan your escalation and adjust anything else.

Also remind yourself:
5 reasons why I'm too good for her.

5 reasons why she's not good enough for me. (You'll be surprised what your mind will come up with and when you cant think of anything to disqualify, find something)

At the end of the day, they'll fall off of any pedestal you put them on, so don't even bother putting them on any.

This is great advice. If done correctly, you can literally turn your personal 10 into a 5.