Fear, Love, and the Ego.

[A-Unit]

In the world there exists but 2 pure emotions: Love & Fear. All purported emotions are variations and peversions of these 2 basic emotions. As noted before, in the world all "things", which include people, places, names, anything you can think of or imagine has but itself and its opposite. Night has day. Black has white. Rich has poor. Moon has sun. Its endless...


Fear is the polar opposite of love. Yet even the definition of love is perverted to mean something else. Many times when we think of love, we think of infatuation, or 'beneificial interest', as in 'what do you do for me?' or 'what have you done for me lately?' This is the love we pay to family members, friends and a special significant other. THIS however is now love. It is a perversion of. To love is to give without expectation of return. To love is to love all, strangers and those to you alike. It's not to judge who deserves love, and who doesn't, because love doesn't judge. It asks for nothing in return. It gives completely. It gives where there is lack. THIS is tough to do as many of us know...


FEAR is the prison made up by the EGO. The EGO is everything that isn't love. It is the world that believes in opposites and separates. In this world of illusory opposites, the EGO must believe in opposites, in 'out there', in more to be discovered, it must see differences in the world confirm its own identity. The EGO is bruised if it has no identity. If you had no identity then how can you exist? See why the EGO likes ranks and material possessions and gains and competition? We say and competition and profits matter. Do they?


If, IF you believe in SOMETHING OUTSIDE yourself can bring you happiness or improve the quality of your life, you will constantly seek the lack. Worse yet, when you lose that external "thing", be it your body, your wealth, your car, you are now unhappy. Your quality of life is now less. Meaning, when you were born, your parents and a higher being MADE you unWHOLE, and only outside things can fix that. Then I ask what is your identity? Now what is your identity?


- Is it your career?

- Your Interests?

- Your money?

- Your body?

- Your degree?

- Your sports interests and abilities?

- This list is endless...


Yes, on this plane called 'Earth' we identify with an IMAGE but that's all it is, an illusory image played out in a false world on a grand stage. When something is outside you, when things are EXTERNAL, you can never truly become it. You can enver truly be IT. You never have full control or ownership. THIS, THIS is why any system, program, tip, or E-book, that doesn't seek to bring forth, accentuate, polish, and gloss you up INSIDE, then OUT, will never 100% permanently effect a change it you. As it will always be seen to be OUTSIDE you, it can NEVER be in you. If C&F, if hypnosis, SS, seduction, macking, playing, pimping, isn't in you as seen as what you possess, and are now just polishing up, and working out like an unsused muscle, then it will never be you.


{TIP: As long as gurus have you believing the skill outside you and being a secret, you will forever search}


"The world is the projection of the 'unconscious' mind. The events you see playing out before you, the reactions you have, everything you currently surround yourself with is the result of the world untapped in your unconscious mind."


Fear itself is a false prison of the MIND {EGO WORLD}. Since the only true pain we can fathomly endure is death, which itself isn't painful, nor would it be an instant you can FEEL. Think about it...anytime you're fearful, it's merely the EGO lashing out.


"Don't do that, she/he might say something that I can't bare to hear."

"Don't invest there, you might lose money."

"Don't go into sales, you might get rejected."

"Yell at her for flaking out, how dare she! DOESN'T she know I'm a DJ! I'm refined! I'm important!"

All these thoughts conjure up an image in the mind like a dagger, poking your emotions, prodding you into action, falsely. Many will say fear is natural, but it isn't. It's a trap of the EGO mind. Why?


Because it sees it self as separate and at war with every other EGO rather than a part of EVERY other living being. It Never feels safe. Not in crowds. Not at the malls. Not at home. It sees a safe little shell. Every moment is a potential attack to its safety and sense of balance. Every new moment is a moment of intrusion. Every new EGO you encounter is the potential to be out-done. It cries out for temporary love.


You ask..."but what does this have to with women?"


Everything!


This is life. Once you understand the model of design the EGO has in place, you can observe other EGOs at play and disarm them. You gain greater control overself, while releasing the being within. You see...self-improvement is nice, IF you know the SELF you are underneath it. HOWEVER, SELF awareness leads to SELF IMPROVEMENT. Picture it like this...


If you were into IMPROVING your odds with women, and I use the analogy of a castle, would you build your home upon quicksand or rock-solid cement???


You can learn sales tips, and dating tips, and wealth tips, and sex tips until the fat cows come home, and then have them YANKED away one day when you get hyper emotional, lose control, or succumb to the EGO's prison.


Anytime you impose your views, values, beliefs, or customs on someone else, the will of the EGO exerts itself. It seeks love, acceptance...but it will never cease to beg. For it if ever stopped, then a pure blissfullness would exist and we would search all our loves for it in constant motion. To some degree, that's what we do. We get road rage in traffic. We want money now. We need the best body this second. We want to be laid yesterday by nearly anybody decent. We seek drugs as 'escape' to "forget" we're on a quest to find pure bliss.


Is that true, though? Do you believe true happiness could exist and must be found? Or is it possible you ARE pure bliss and with a happy mindset ALWAYS find happiness??


This is the disease of our Western Culture. Always going somewhere. Always pushing to the top, onward, upward, and beyond. It's a disease because we're spending out time trying to create more time only to blow more of it "looking" and not "using" it or "cherishing it." Average working hours in the US have gone from 38/wk in the early 70's when 1 income provided enough income for the household to upwards of 50/wk in the year 2000, when 2 incomes are a MUST for families now. Who still believes we're actually making progress? In what areas of life are we? Who is making the actual progress?


You see, you can disect the phobias of the self fear into 1,000 or more pieces and you'll never be cured. Or, you can accept that fear and love are the only emotions that exist and find a cure. The only harm you experience is the mental arrow shot from the EGO to the self-IMAGE. If you live in the world of the ego, it's like trying to build a sand castle with the tide coming in; at some point it will completely dissolve until you accept a new approach. Many people see little fixes, like they're missing a piece. However it's the EGO self that is ALWAYS missing a piece. You kill all fear when you accept love, the purest power.







A-Unit



To be continued...

 

[CraigMack]

E- For Excellent post. Sounds like your reading "A Course in Miracles" and applying it to the game.

 

[Sexus]

Can we get your take on a cure in part 2 A-Unit?

 

[DeathDealer]

WTF?

 

[A-Unit]

Some guys are said to have a "tight game"...but what if you never thought of it as a game? If it was never a game to you, then you'd never see this, any of this as having an outcome, as having a winner and loser. If you see winner and loser, and it is therefore a "game", you or the woman, by definition would not make out. One would win, one would lose. Who plays a game, where they can come out less than whole, or as less than they went in? Would you go into the dating pool knowing that by entering (1) party would arise worse off?


No! So how is this a game? The reason it's dubbed a game is to frame it or label it in such a way as to disarm your fears. However, when you hear "The Game", it conjurs up images of MAN versus WOMAN, of someone WINNING and someone LOSING. But is it really THAT way??


No! It's MAN and WOMAN. Think about it: to even spell WOman, requires MAN, meaning MAN is a basic part of WOMAN. WOMAN, the word, could not exist without man. Just as she couldn't exist in real life WITHOUT a man. The typical AFC, sees like in a way that MEN and WOMEN live and operate INDEPENDENTLY. However, when was the last time you had pure heterosexual sex without a WOMAN, or a WOMAN without a MAN? Society has driven this wedge in between men and women and made up simple automatons that only need to bang, then do EVERYTHING else alone. They've highlighed the plight of women to seem as if their interdependence on men is a WEAKNESS, yet failing to highlight the symbiotic interdependence of men ON women.


The feminine 'energy' is powerful, yet unfocused. How often have you heard in a masked voice "I need you to tell me what to do?" When women ask questions, they're more often ASKING for the answer, and YOUR guidance. They're not asking for counsel, or advice, they WANT DIRECTION. Men being the organizers of energy and wielder of power (notice, not source, just the wielder), are capable of taking unfocused energy and making it laser-like. Look at mother earth, the essence of feminine energy in everyway. She breeds life, but uncontrollably. Man was brought forth FIRST to harness her and see all that we have wrought?? All that has been produced from Her??


You see it is not a game. It has been warped to the point it's twisted to SEEM a game. Feminine energy SEEKs control by MASCULINE POWER WIELDING FORCES. Sex, women will act ouf if acted upon by men. In life, a girl who respects the guy will accept his wishes because she trusts in him. A woman that is obstinate and unwielding is boldly proclaiming she will not be wielded, or controlled, by you. Take no offense to this. You must boldly stand your ground, because THIS is how the feminine REALLY Determines whether she will accept surrender or not. If you bend as a willow tree, she will see you as not a wielder, but someone who can be controlled. A relationship by definition is the conjoinment of 2 things which have something in common or relationally linked. Its give and take with circular flow.


__________________________


The fear that you speak of, the tasks you strike to complete will be endless, so long as you dwell as an EGO-MIND. It needs to be shown everytime you're upset, that it's ok. That it can handle it. The EGO is fear, because IT is not Love. It cannot be love. To LOVE, would be to accept ALL of this Craziness, ALL of these people, ALL of LIFE, AS IS. Love is acceptance of ALL, it is not judgemental, it is not brash, it does not react overtly. It sees nothing as a threat, because IF you love ALL, all LOVES you. Where no love exists, you SUPPLY the LACK of LOVE; you're the balance to the imbalance.


There are those that ask for a 'cure', but a cure is to escape the EGO and REALIZE that so long as you dwell in the EGO world a SOLUTION will always seemingly exist inside of it. No matter the topic, you will always feel as if ANOTHER book, program, seminar, boot camp, night out, wing man, PUA, woman, beer, car, day off, piece of clothing, credit card, video game, or whatever, WILL MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. This isn't to say DON'T GROW or LEARN, but do it from LOVE, not FROM need to ACQUIRE something. Doing so STRIPS it of it's purity.


When you give a gift, a gift is given completely and freely. If it is given TO gain something it is not a gift, it is a liability, a debt, a payment, where you emotionally EXPECT to be filled by it. And if you're not, 2 things happen:

1. You get unhappy

2. You get made at them


There are those who say "She didn't..." "My friends didn't..." "My parents didn't..." Are they supposed to?? Society sets this impositions of PC-ness and of proper conduct. In nature things exist as they are, and we accept them and their NATURAL beauty. But, in the EGO world, we seek to alter and control it to our whims, only to alter it when it no longer suits our fancy. So in effect, it never was BEAUTIFUL, because we altered, and we altered it again. We just sought control, to FEEL GOOD about having CONTROL.


And maybe you say "love is the cure?" Absolutely. In the world of the ego it won't seem to be a cure, though. Why? Because, there are those who are ALL-too familiar with the BURNED-type of love. Where they had close friends, or lovers, or family, that burned them and now they retreat into a hole. Love gives without expectation of love because we are all love. A source of love. It took at least an instantaneous moment of love to create you, even if your parents are no longer together.


In your mind you might say "that's a hockey love theory, made by some crackpot in hollywood." Again, wrong type of love, and those who are in the fear mindset of the ego will not comprehend. Anything not love, is the ego. The ego doesn't no love because it's not of the source of love. It's a source of separateness, not oneness. It's not bonding, it's division.


_________________________


I've listened to programs that enable you to build YOUR EGO by having women chase you and beg for you and cry over you...and they'd work if you follow them, in the world of the ego. And maybe while you're here that's fine and good, but in that world, nothing is true or pure. It's a hollywood script that's fine and dandy for now, but is a house of cards. Because IT'S the ego.


_________________________


As an aside to the post...'A course in miracles' is 1 of the above referenced sources, amongst numerous others, and my own thoughts, observations, and conversations with those out there.





A-Unit

 

[MrHarris]

Very astute A-Unit. Your seeing the truth of things behind the matrix.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

A-UNIT: You know I hold you in the highest respect, so let me offer a few plattitudes myself here. First, I understand what you're driving at, but you falling into the sophist trap with a lot of this. A few things to consider then:

Love's opposite is not Fear. Both are separately identifiable emotions, and both are also emotional reactions, responses to circumstance making them subjective and relative to the individual experiencing them. You cannot possibly know whether I love you or fear you or not since experience is individual (i.e. you can't get into my head to feel it), therefore the condition is expressed by my behaviors. Also, since experience is subjective, you cannot possibly relate to my personal interpretation of the conditions and circumstances that led me to experience love or fear of you. You can only draw conclusions as to the genuine validity of my emotional status by how I behave (i.e. I could tell you I love you or buy you flowers).

Some approach love in binaries, stating that the opposite of Love is Hate. This too is false.

No, the opposite of Love is Indifference.

This is identifiable in behavior since we don't consider things for which we have no affinity for - we simply pay them no thought.

However, indifference also plays into my second point, one that you also hit upon, and that is the issue of true contentment. You rightly state (in many words) that human beings live in a perpetualy state of striving, or a lack of contentment. The object(s) of our striving vary depending upon our personal conditions and our means to achieve them, but the condition of discontentment is perpetual as a new object quickly replaces the former one shortly after it's been achieved. Contentment can be attained, but for so long as the object retains it's value. Discontent is universal. Discontent is progressive, content is static. Thus contentment procedes to indifference and discontent is a striving after that for which we have an affinity for.

Now there are two types of discontent which are really just different responses to the condition of discontentment; destructive discontent and creative (constructive) discontent. Again, both easily identifiable in behavior. I think a warning against destructive discontentive actions is obvious since this form of discontent rarely (though not always) leads to the aquisition of the desired objective, or at least not in the desired state. Wars get started, suicides occur, houses burn down, etc. in destructive discontent. Constructive discontent generally leads to a positive acquisition of an objective by improvement of conditions, a person, a society, etc. Both forms create a solution for a problem, but offer separate means for doing so.

The self-aware person, as you put it, understands that to be human is to be in a constant state of discontent, a constant lack of perfection. And once attained, contentment is temporal giving way to another striving and discontentment. Knowing this he judges the value of an objective by more pragmatic means (is it really worth the effort?) and distributes his energies more wisely with an understanding that he will once again become discontent after achieving this goal.

 

[Sexus]

A-Unit.

Your philosophy is pure.

Great work. Worthy of publication.

 

[Jariel]

A-unit: Are you a Buddhist? This takes me back some years to when I was learning and practising Buddhism and reminded me of the peaceful and contented mindset I used to have at that time. I did love everyone, saw the best in everyone, excused and forgave everyone unconditionally, had no desire to acquire anything, merely to exist contentedly and learn from life. Everyone used to say I was the most laidback guy they had ever met.

At some point I lost this mindset and after reading this post it I realise it was the same time I started pandering to my ego and craving female affection. These days I'm hurting, I'm angry, defensive and self-centred. I've been seeking happiness in other people, when this is the exact thing that has been causing me pain.

As Buddhist philosophy teaches, the only way to be rid of suffering and fear is to let go of all attachment - including desire and ambition.

Inspiring post A-unit!

 

[sexual_intellectual]

@ A-Unit, A post and a half! Agree with what you wrote about male and female energy especially!

@ Rollo Tomassi

Your criticisms seem both valid and constructive to me!

More posts like this please!!

 

[Virtú]

Love, hate, and fear are all two-way streets; it's not so much what they are as what you do with them that makes the differences in your life.

Love can be a powerful motivating force, but it can also be a prison.

It is a powerful ally, as it can fuel you even in the midst of your most painful and difficult struggles, allowing you to fulfill your deepest desires and ambitions.

But as an enemy, it can also chain you to things. We all know that self-love can lead to fearful stagnation as well as to progress. Love can turn you into a hopeless dependent, needing (I hate that word so much; it's implications disgust me) things to extents well beyond reason or reality.

Even Hate, nowadays universally reviled as the instrument of Evil, is not without its usefulness.
Where Love increases attachment to good things, Hate reduces your attachment to bad things, making it all the more easier to change or discard them.

I know that you're thinking about all the terrible things that Hate has caused people to do throughout history, but as I understand it, such people became imprisoned by their hate. It became a way of life for them, feeding upon itself and perpetuating itself.

It's also what you hate that makes a difference. I hate many things, but none of them is a person or group of people. Ideas and their manifestations, as either actions or inanimate objects, cannot suffer pain, so they need no protection.
And if your hate is not powerful enough to influence your behavior, then the question is academic. No harm = no threat = no fear = no action ... no more dangerous than the ranting lunatic in a straitjacket.

For example, people don't start working out because they love their bodies, they start it because they hate their bodies. It's only if they keep going to the gym for long enough to see results that love enters the picture.
Hate starts you working on yourself; Love is what keeps you going.

Still, I fully admit that it's a dangerous path to take, and that I included it only to help prove my greater point.

Even Fear can be a positive influence as much as a negative one; it just depends on how you react to it.
"Fight" is the positive response; it leads to action which, one way or another, neutralizes your fear.
"Flight" is the negative response, as it allows what you fear to live to scare you another day.

However, I agree with the statement that Indifference is truly the ultimate evil.

I sold my soul to it in order to survive elementary school.
Although it broke the power that other people had over me; it also denied me power over myself.

In the end, I'm no further ahead than I would have been had I not surrendered to apathy. I may have saved myself from bullies and popular kids, but in the end, I lost myself to myself.

I deprived myself of my ability to feel, to be simulated and motivated emotionally.

I am a sleepwaker, a souless and empty shell of a man, never living, merely surviving ... the penalty for having sacrificed pleasure to escape pain.

 

[Jariel]

Bump. Great post.

After a very painful rejection and a rocky period in my life that screwed up my head I realised I had to take some kind of action and this post has inspired me to return to Buddhism for guidance.

Within a week, my whole life and attitude has started to change. I'm feeling more contented within myself, more focused on my personal goals, values and actions.

When you live and act according to what you believe is right and remain faithful to yourself, your morals and aims, then you do not need reassurance or validation from other people and you do not need to fear rejection.

I've started dating an incredible woman and haven't used a single pick up technique, mind game or act. I have simply balanced my ego.

I'm not a Buddhist zealot, but I would like to suggest that guys on this board take a bit of time to read some Buddhist teachings as they promote a wisdom very similar to this post and inspire the basic philosophy of films like Fight Club and The Matrix, which are often quoted and praised among DJs.