Fcked up past or just being a sissy?

[Starwolf]

Just wanted to know what you guys think..

I always blamed these 2 instances for my Approach Anxiety

First incident: First time I approached a girl I liked (was about 13 y/o)
I aproached her at schoold said "hi" and asked what she was studying?

her response: Irritated she told me to not bother her and go away then she walked away.

Second incident: At the same school not long after. school was out and I passed a chick from my class and glanced over to her while going home on my bicycle.

The next day at school she approached me in front of everyone and scolded me she said "to never ever look at her again when in public"

Since then I never approached girls again ..( I resorted to only chatting with girls online in chat rooms, msn messenger and ICQ )

it was easier for me to chat online and then meet in person. Met my first gf like that.. But broke up with her when she tried to kill herself on webcam.

did have a few more gf's after that but all through the Net

What do you guys think? did these things contributed to my Approach Anxiety/Issues with women? or Am i just being a pvssy.

last time a tried a cold approach again was at 22.. walked next to this woman i said "hi" then i walked away faster :crackup:

 

[Suspens]

Both. I have the exact same problem. However I can approach and start talking to any girl. But I eject as soon as they show any kind of disinterest or ignore me.

 

[Yewki]

Yes they probably contributed to your approach anxiety 15 some odd years ago when they happened, but the fact you still let those incidents hold you back kind of makes you a sissy

 

[mangotot]

Sissy. Those women calling you out is pretty trivial with all the problems you could of had.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I went to a private religious school and I can tell you, all the people there must have been born with pubes. They were so physically matured and overly-developed it was insane (i'm talking like 4th grade already starting puberty). I wasn't like that though and was different from other people for the most part because of that. Not to mention the fact that I started school 1 year early (was one year above my age level) so that didn't help. Aside from that, I said it was a religious school; they severely restricted boy-girl relations. In 5th grade, they separated boys and girls and they did that all the way until high school was over.
I left that God-forsaken hell hole before high school started and public school which was way better, though I still was socially awkward until the summer of 10th grade where I finally had things figured out. Plus that private school was SO expensive, yeesh.

I have to blame my parents for this because there are some personal things [that I don't wish to share] that scared me into avoiding people and becoming needy on them. However, because I now know this, I refuse to stay like this and forced myself to change. And for the better.

It wasn't all bad, because of these overly developed freaks, I always had to work harder to do better. And I made that into a habit. I'm now the most ripped teen I know (155 lbs at 5'10" ~2% body fat). The best swimmer at my school and possibly the best who ever came (made sate in our relay too). When people try to bully you, you learn HOW to retaliate. And you learn to toughen up. When you get crushed to absolute nothing and below, life seems like it sucks. And it does. But it can be a good thing if you don't go back to old habits and begin to try new things. When you are crushed, you now can start all over to build your self, your life, and your environment into anything you want.

I have worked on myself and have done a pretty great job. Improved myself beyond what i have ever seen anyone my age ever would even think of doing. And that's why I feel so great, hence my name. I feel such a huge sense of accomplishment. I still do have an insecurity though.

I hate being weak, both physically and mental. Having an insecurity is a weakness, so it's a strange dilemma. That's why in several of my posts, I say that the man NEEDS to be strong, the man NEEDS to be tough, and the man NEEDS to be able to withstand pain without letting it hurt/affect him. I refuse to be weak again. Not like before, no, never. That's the only thing.

But I still do feel great because of how far I have come. But I am not done yet. i am not where I want to be, yet. I still have to go further. Once I get to college, I will have much more freedom to do as I please. And then, I will beat the world.

Feels good to vent sometimes.

 

[Genos]

I can relate man. I've had some traumatic childhood events that have really had an impact on me, and screwed up my confidence and interactions with women.

But once you recenter yourself in your own mind and build a foundation of self-worth, things get easier. Much easier. Little things that would normally have bothered me just a few months ago (that I would've spent days stewing over and replaying scenarios in my head) I now briefly analyze, pick out the important things, and move along as a better person with peace of mind.

Any fear can be conquered if your resolve is strong enough. I've dealt with enough regrets and trauma to be able to give a bit of advice..."The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." - Socrates