Father is pure evil

[Pandora]

I am writing this because in weird way I trust you fukers. I need to vent. I have come a long way since I joined 2008. I grew up on this site. Since 2008 I have become more spiritual and improved a lot ( partially thanks to this site). I have learned the meaning of love and how to be more chill and empathetic.

My father however has been an evil bastard since I was born. You wont believe the physical and mental abuse he put me and mother through. This is why I became obsessed with martial arts as an adult. I never want to be a victim again. In the last year or so my mother finally filed for divorce. He was planning on divorcing her and running off to Africa with his many women waiting for him ( we also find out that I have a sibling that I didnt know about for decades). He was planning on cleaning the accounts and leaving her penniless. She beat him to the punch and filed for divorce. Now he is out for blood.

My mother moved in with me and I am helping her pay her legal fees. It is very draining but its my mother and I have her back until the end. Divorces suck. He is making it a point to drag on the case as long as possible. This guy is doing everything to stall. He is refusing summons etc. He has a quite sizable nest egg that he does not want to split. Paid off house worth alot etc.

As a hippie I denied the presence of evil. I just thought that evil was just people misunderstood. I have no real conflicts with anyone else in my life. Most people can be reasoned with on some level. My father has made me realize that some people can not be reasoned with. No matter how much empathy you try to give them they will choose chaos. It is really shaking the foundations of my spiritual base. I thought hurt people hurt people. Now I see that some people just like to hurt people.

Have you guys encountered people like this?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Your mom saw that he was cleaning he accounts out so she filed for divorce. What was the rationale for not carving out a ton of that money and moving it into her control? She took half the steps and forgot that she needed liquidity. I went through this, my former father in law tried to bankrupt me, cared absolutely nothing about the stress it was putting on his grandchildren. It’s hell. Unfortunately if you can’t get in front of a judge there’s very little you can do.

 

[Pandora]

Your mom saw that he was cleaning he accounts out so she filed for divorce. What was the rationale for not carving out a ton of that money and moving it into her control? She took half the steps and forgot that she needed liquidity. I went through this, my former father in law tried to bankrupt me, cared absolutely nothing about the stress it was putting on his grandchildren. It’s hell. Unfortunately if you can’t get in front of a judge there’s very little you can do.

Yeh thanks for the reply. She figured out after filing for divorce that he was clearing out the accounts and transferring money. She figured it out during pre discovery I guess. She had no control over the bank accounts. She was totally financially dependent on him for years.

She decided to finally divorce because he was going to Africa for up to 4-5 months at time and leaving her alone in the USA with barely anything. He had another family there and after he retired he had no use for his family in America. It was evil man. I had to go check on this older lady ( mom) in a big house in the woods by herself at night. While her husband was womanizing in a tropical paradise.

She has an appointment for a judge hearing very soon. The judge should grant her the contested divorce. Fingers crossed. Im hoping they rule in her favor. This is the one time I am happy that the court system is gynocentric lol

Yeh so guys like your former father in law are fascinating. He does not seem to care even for his own offspring. This is a new level of evil that I can not comprehend. Even the most " evil" people in the world usually have compassion for their genetic progeny. You hear stories of genocidal dictators they were very benevolent to their kids and grandkids.

Was he funding his daughters law suit against you?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yeh thanks for the reply. She figured out after filing for divorce that he was clearing out the accounts and transferring money. She figured it out during pre discovery I guess. She had no control over the bank accounts. She was totally financially dependent on him for years.

She decided to finally divorce because he was going to Africa for up to 4-5 months at time and leaving her alone in the USA with barely anything. He had another family there and after he retired he had no use for his family in America. It was evil man. I had to go check on this older lady ( mom) in a big house in the woods by herself at night. While her husband was womanizing in a tropical paradise.

She has an appointment for a judge hearing very soon. The judge should grant her the contested divorce. Fingers crossed. Im hoping they rule in her favor. This is the one time I am happy that the court system is gynocentric lol

Yeh so guys like your former father in law are fascinating. He does not seem to care even for his own offspring. This is a new level of evil that I can not comprehend. Even the most " evil" people in the world usually have compassion for their genetic progeny. You hear stories of genocidal dictators they were very benevolent to their kids and grandkids.

Was he funding his daughters law suit against you?

Yes, I fought myself against a man with a nine figure net worth. My lawyer was basically the rain man.

 

[Pandora]

Yes, I fought myself against a man with a nine figure net worth. My lawyer was basically the rain man.

Dayum. 9 figures and you still won. Dude had the money to drag that joint out for years. Good for you man.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Dayum. 9 figures and you still won. Dude had the money to drag that joint out for years. Good for you man.

You will learn that nobody wins in the divorce except the lawyers. I got probably 70% of what I should have because courts are so backed up. The lawyer got a nice chunk of it. Functionally I had a logistical financial entanglement with him that I leveraged at the last minute after we had everything fleshed out in mediation. He tried to stall and I played the card and gave him a false time constraint. He didn’t call my bluff because the risk to him was too great. Like in any negotiation your mom needs to find the black swan. It’s whatever the lever is for the opponent that ultimately drives them. It’s not his family it’s money, in my case.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You will learn that nobody wins in the divorce except the lawyers. I got probably 70% of what I should have because courts are so backed up. The lawyer got a nice chunk of it. Functionally I had a logistical financial entanglement with him that I leveraged at the last minute after we had everything fleshed out in mediation. He tried to stall and I played the card and gave him a false time constraint. He didn’t call my bluff because the risk to him was too great. Like in any negotiation your mom needs to find the black swan. It’s whatever the lever is for the opponent that ultimately drives them. It’s not his family it’s money, in my case.

Yup...the lawyers literally try to pit each side against each other, turn it into a bitter dispute, make the two sides hate each other all so they can drag out the proceedings, make both sides unwilling to give in, have each side try to screw the other one over and reap the rewards of being able to constantly bill for more and more time and court proceedings since you will have to keep reappearing in court.

Most people end up paying well over 20K each in the US...and for what?

If those people sat down and really looked at it, the lawyers took 40K+ that belonged to them and anything they "won" likely paled in comparison to the 20K+ they could have kept in their pocket if they just went thru mediation.

They also likely wouldn't hate the other person forever and hold petty grudges and use the kids as pawns in their stupid game to "win" against the other person either.

All in all, the only winners in divorces are lawyers who do everything they can to drag them out for as long as possible to bill the most they can.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yup...the lawyers literally try to pit each side against each other, turn it into a bitter dispute, make the two sides hate each other all so they can drag out the proceedings, make both sides unwilling to give in, have each side try to screw the other one over and reap the rewards of being able to constantly bill for more and more time and court proceedings since you will have to keep reappearing in court.

Most people end up paying well over 20K each in the US...and for what?

If those people sat down and really looked at it, the lawyers took 40K+ that belonged to them and anything they "won" likely paled in comparison to the 20K+ they could have kept in their pocket if they just went thru mediation.

They also likely wouldn't hate the other person forever and hold petty grudges and use the kids as pawns in their stupid game to "win" against the other person either.

All in all, the only winners in divorces are lawyers who do everything they can to drag them out for as long as possible to bill the most they can.

My wife still sends text messages and emails in a way that feel like she’s building a case against me. The mindset is going to take a long time to adjust. She is super bitter and both the lawyer and her father are at fault for that. They were both in her ear but her father I have seen take pleasure in lawsuits against family in the past. If I got off for 20k I would have done cartwheels in the middle of fifth Avenue. Try 75

 

[EyeBRollin]

She decided to finally divorce because he was going to Africa for up to 4-5 months at time and leaving her alone in the USA with barely anything. He had another family there and after he retired he had no use for his family in America. It was evil man.

Sorry this happened to you and your mom. How did end up going to Africa for 4-5 months at a time?

In any of my relationships, if I were to disappear for 4-5 days it would be a huge issue. Let alone months.

How did this happen?

 

[Pandora]

Sorry this happened to you and your mom. How did end up going to Africa for 4-5 months at a time?

In any of my relationships, if I were to disappear for 4-5 days it would be a huge issue. Let alone months.

How did this happen?

Baby boomer African women are the definition of traditional. Divorce is not really a concept among that cohort. 3rd world older women will take a lot. She let it slide until it was too much.

He would call and make sure the bills were paid etc. But yeh its a different culture. Middle Eastern culture is simailar.

Oh and thanks for the concern too bro. It will be good in the end. Ima benefit from the gynocracy for once lol

 

[EyeBRollin]

Baby boomer African women are the definition of traditional. Divorce is not really a concept among that cohort. 3rd world older women will take a lot. She let it slide until it was too much.

He would call and make sure the bills were paid etc.

I see. Brother, that is not normal. A man doesn’t just up and leave his household for 4-5 months. There’s not a reason in the world. Wife should exercise more power than that.

 

[Pandora]

I see. Brother, that is not normal. A man doesn’t just up and leave his household for 4-5 months. There’s not a reason in the world. Wife should exercise more power than that.

The manosphere ignores the fact that there are evil men out there. Just like there are evil women you probably have the same amount of evil men. Weak men causes evil men.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I am writing this because in weird way I trust you fukers. I need to vent. I have come a long way since I joined 2008. I grew up on this site. Since 2008 I have become more spiritual and improved a lot ( partially thanks to this site). I have learned the meaning of love and how to be more chill and empathetic.

My father however has been an evil bastard since I was born. You wont believe the physical and mental abuse he put me and mother through. This is why I became obsessed with martial arts as an adult. I never want to be a victim again. In the last year or so my mother finally filed for divorce. He was planning on divorcing her and running off to Africa with his many women waiting for him ( we also find out that I have a sibling that I didnt know about for decades). He was planning on cleaning the accounts and leaving her penniless. She beat him to the punch and filed for divorce. Now he is out for blood.

My mother moved in with me and I am helping her pay her legal fees. It is very draining but its my mother and I have her back until the end. Divorces suck. He is making it a point to drag on the case as long as possible. This guy is doing everything to stall. He is refusing summons etc. He has a quite sizable nest egg that he does not want to split. Paid off house worth alot etc.

As a hippie I denied the presence of evil. I just thought that evil was just people misunderstood. I have no real conflicts with anyone else in my life. Most people can be reasoned with on some level. My father has made me realize that some people can not be reasoned with. No matter how much empathy you try to give them they will choose chaos. It is really shaking the foundations of my spiritual base. I thought hurt people hurt people. Now I see that some people just like to hurt people.

Have you guys encountered people like this?

You are not alone.

I think/guess many of us guys had far from prefect relationships with our parents.

I sometimes call my dad "The dictator" because he can really be a dyck. Not as bad as your dad; he is also very nice too and helped out with some cases where I really needed some help - but he can be a real huge dyck too sometimes. So its not all bad, but not all good either.

He is of the "old school tough guys" type of parent and has this weird idea of upbringing us kids by punishing us; especially me for some reason I never understood - with freezing us out for periods when he considers that me or my siblings has done something wrong in his mind.

Pretty fvcked up way of teaching your kids to stay on the "right path" because you cannot raise your children and influence then if you are in in contact with them on consistent basis / a part of their lives. Instead you teach them to be indifferent.

My mom on the other hand I have real good connection with and and is a constant in my life and quite different from my dad. They have been married all their lives are still still together. So I always had both my parents in my life. But after I moved from my parents home I don't see my dad as much anymore cuz of the above mentioned.

Thought me a lot of how not not be myself / how to not act/be as a dad; if I have will have kids in the future.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Sorry to hear about your family situation. There's an old saying that spouses resemble each other. I bet your mother is not an angel either.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Sorry to hear about your family situation. There's an old saying that spouses resemble each other. I bet your mother is not an angel either.

Think/guess most families has some kind of dysfunctional element. Very few families are "perfect" in the way they operate.