FAT djs...

[Devestator]

Hi. I've noticed a trend on this board about the great disadvantages fat guys have in getting women. Some go as far as saying that being fat negates all game and other qualities the man might have.

I want some fat guys to challenge this notion cause I'm fat myself. I realize that I am responsible for being fat and should change it, but that could take months and I want girls now! I've seen it done - I see fat guys with hot girls occasionally. And if Real Man wasn't lying, he's an example right on these boards. I want to know how they did it. My questions:

- What is the source of your confidence if you have a less than optimal body?

- How do you convey that you are attractive despite being fat?

- Why do girls like you more than the thinner or more cut guys they have to choose from?

That's all. Gotta go.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Women like masculinity - and this may 'outweigh' your fatness! (no pun intended).

 

[Dark Nimbus]

PuertoRican_Lover, man, you sure post a lot. How about getting out there and getting some real world practice?

Devestator, this is how I see it. Most girls just want a guy with an average build. You don't have to have a ripped body to get chicks, but you shouldn't have a big belly either. Of course there are girls that don't care much about guys looks, but most do and there is some standard.

What it really comes down to is what your type of girl is and what weight you feel good at. For me, I like thin girly girls so it helps if I'm not too buff because from my experience these girls like guys that are slender. I used to be 200pds at 6', now I'm 150pds and it's a good weight for me, maybe a bit too low, but I'm confident at this weight and have no problems getting thin chicks.

- What is the source of your confidence if you have a less than optimal body?

I don't think anyone who knows they are overweight can really be confident physically. Maybe they find confidence in their money/power/personality, but it's obviously not from their sagging exterior.

- How do you convey that you are attractive despite being fat?

The same way as a buff or thin guy would after the girls had a chance to look them over, with their personality.

- Why do girls like you more than the thinner or more cut guys they have to choose from?

They didn't. After I lost the weight I had girls that wouldn't look at me twice before suddenly interested and captivated by me. One who is a total b1tch became totally intimidated by me, but then again I not only changed my appearance, I changed my personality and started acting like a man around the same time.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Dark nimbus I am the king of keyboard jockeys. I have plans for saturday and sunday and do not want to wear myself out

Too many hos at clubs, so I interact mostly everywhere else but there. Check out the thread "PuertoRican_Lover's Aniversary" on Anything Else forum - it explains my situation!

 

[Devestator]

Thanks. I'll say what gives me confidence. I lift weights, and at the gym I'm usually the stongest person in the room. The eating a lot and lifting translates into great power besides the fat! I'm like a fat linebacker.

Girls seem to notice, even while I'm not lifting, that I'm transformed. I will often talk to girls immediately after a workout on a testosterone high with greater success than immediately after a pint of ben&jerrys.

So one thing a fat guy can do is lift. He'll easily surpass his peers just cause he's got so much mass to work with. He'll burn more calories so he'll still get a lot of his beloved food even while cutting. And he can act more "alpha" with less fear of retaliation.

 

[squirrels]

I'll tell you what, man...go ATKINS. For you, it'd be perfect. Just cut out all carbs and you can eat all the meat and eggs and nuts and coochie you want.

Skip the ice cream, cakes, bread, pasta, etc...as long as you're not doing heavy cardio, the fuel you get from meats and veggies should be PLENTY enough, and the extra protein will help you put on muscle. Personally, I like tearing into a steak or chicken breast a LOT more than a piece of pie. It's a LOT more filling, too.

WIth the muscle you put on, your fat will be turned into energy. It works faster than you know if you stick fiercely to it.

You may be able to overcome it with a confident attitude, but you'll get a lot more girls being confident and ripped than being confident and chunky. Plus, there's nothing to boost one's confidence like finally starting to see cut-lines from lifting and eating right...it makes you feel like you took on a goal and conquered it.

 

[Make-A-Way]

Hey Devestator..... here's my lil' 2 cents on your problem. From my experience it doesn't matter if you're skinny to the bone or big as an elephant just as long as you are comfortable about being a man, not making your bigness an issue, and just be sexually comfortable around a girl.

Dont believe me? Ok.... I had this friend back in high school who was very fat and very tall (Just like me ..the tallness that is) and he was your typical "preachers son". He would tell our friends about some dime piece he screwwed one weekend. He wasn't lying because when I saw him work with the ladies he was very smooth and very comfortable. I knew this other guy who was shorter than me but chunkier who knew how to get into a girls pants. And I have a friend now who is very chunky and has a face only a mother could love. He spent his first few months here at college going to random girls rooms screwing the living daylights out of them. He has no problem with his bigness, he doesn't care what the girl or anybody else thinks, and he doesn't have a problem making the first move on a girl.


So whats my point? If you want to change your apperance because YOU don't like it...then do it. But don't change it in hopes that having a godlike body is the ultimate holy grail to getting women. I have a basketball body yet I still have to go talk to the girls, set up dates with the girls, and make the first moves with the girls. I've seen "pretty boys" who didn't have the nerve to even say hi to a girl. I know some muscle bound guys who are great with ladies and other muscle bound guys who aren't. Most of my friends I told you about either lifted weights and/or played some type of sport, so if you're not athletic at least do some type of exercise or sport. Believe me....its good for the spirit. I hope this helps you devestator. peace out

 

[Make-A-Way]

Sorry about the exercise tip Deva....I overlooked one of your replies. Yeah ....weight lifting or any other type of hard exercise does give you that after feeling of strenght, dominance, and a feeling that you could conquer the world. Just keep it up and you'll be alright.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Devestator
...I want some fat guys to challenge this notion cause I'm fat myself.

Why not be a pioneer and set the challenge for yourself? Just curious.

- What is the source of your confidence if you have a less than optimal body?

- How do you convey that you are attractive despite being fat?

- Why do girls like you more than the thinner or more cut guys they have to choose from?

- Confidence comes from within. External strength can waver but true strength comes from within. If your body type inhibits your internal strength, change it.

- You can not convey that you are attractive. You either are or you are not. It's not for you to decide since one person's idea of attractiveness is easily different that another's. You can be as large as a blimp or as thin as a rail, neither guarantees how you are perceived from one person to the next.

- Shallow girls will go for only looks. If that's all you have going for you (IE. lacking personality) you are going to have a difficult time. What it comes down to is that both sexes are attracted to healthy people. This includes a healthy lifestyle as well as a healthy personality.

If you are looking for social proof, go find it yourself. No it will not be easy if your personal perception of yourself is holding you back. Basically, if you don't like the person that you are or the one that you present to the world, change it.

All that really matters is your own perception since it's the only one that you can change easily. Changing another's perception can be harder than loosing the weight since you have no control over them as apposed to having complete control over yourself.

 

[Big Pappy]

Devestator,
I used to be 260 lbs, 5'10". Girls wouldn't flock to me, but they wouldn't run away, either. I went on the Atkin's diet, got down to 210 and for whatever reason, I couldn't get a date to save my life. The reasons for this were, I think, I had cut out drinking totally, so I wasn't as "relaxed", or maybe I wasn't as much fun. Perhaps they saw me as a bit of a snob for not drinking while they were getting hammered.

In any event, I've put on another 15 pounds and I'm much more comfortable. The Atkin's diet was effective, but I always felt weak and lethargic. Low Carbs = Low testosterone.

To address your specific questions:
The source of my confidence are the pride I have in my accomplishments. I've got a 4.0 in the graduate program in Computer Science, I get paid to go to school! I drive an unmodified 1994 Ford Taurus SHO which rides as well as any Cadillac I've driven. It still looks new! I've got money in the bank, but I wear jeans and sneakers most of the time.

I'm pretty funny and I've a knack for impersonating my friends - it's almost uncanny how well I can imitate their voice and mannerisms.

Confidence comes from experiencing adversity and surviving it. Experience is a big part.


I "convey" my attractiveness by telling everyone how great a guy I am. I am one of those "forward" or blunt types. I tell people the truth, whether they like it or not. Then, of course, I back up the talk. I am punctual. I do what I say I will do and I do it well.

Why do girls prefer me?

Every girl I know, except for maybe one or two, thinks they are too fat, too short, too stupid, or some unpleasant characteristic.
In short, people in general suffer from esteem issues. Especially younger girls. (18-23,24)
I don't really bother to compare myself to other guys. I don't worry about it. Most guys lack the courage to approach a pretty girl anyway. I rather take the approach of "why am I interested in this girl as opposed to that girl?"

Hope this helps.

 

[Julian]

This may be harsh but no one likes fat people.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by Julian
This may be harsh but no one likes fat people.

Grow up!!!

Big Pappy, good post, I agree, MOST people, girls or guys have self esteem issues. EVERYONE today is striving for perfection and has SOMETHING they dont like about themselves. As far as this allowing girls to get with fat dudes, I do not agree. Even though the girl has some esteem issues, they are still HIGHLY motivated by male looks. This is why when a cute guy walks into the room, all the girls peek and talk. And the cute guy can talk to ANY of these girls. Some of the girls will blatantly be mean to a fat guy sometimes. To a cute guy, I HIGHLY doubt they will ever be mean. Life is just plain and simply easier for in shape cute people. Loose the weight, until you get to a point where u feel happy with YOURSELF. If you have to stop drinking for a while do it, but if you are on a diet and do excersise u can still drink once or twice a week. If you are drinking more than that, u have issues u need to figure out with yourself.

 

[Devestator]

Good posts, cept for Julian. Not helpful at all, and you'd probably not say that to my face. The internet is a beautiful, anonymous place And everyone likes me.

Well, maybe he's helpful. I'm gonna try double hard to prove a**hats like Julian wrong. Well, until a month or two, when I'm not fat. Hell, I knew a fat FEMALE dj-nita.

Laters.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I would recommend figuring out a weight and build that you could be happy with, and very specific... the more specific the better.

For example : at 5'7" (Gawd I'm short, but thats another post) my ideal weight would be around 175-185, and have to have at least a 4 pack. There are more details, but this is enough to prove a point...

I am currently 175 and dropping (lack of exercise lately and fat weighs less then muscle) and I'm already getting that tension that I need to start working out again to get myself back into my personal ideal.

Now, losing or gaining 5lbs is not really a big deal, but if you gotta lose 50-100lbs, then that is something that you really gotta plan out. Diet, exercise, trainer, etc.

So, basically what I'm suggesting is find out where you are (see a doctor or find a way to get your level of fitness measured, that might motivate you just a bit more), and decide where it is that you wanna be... at what level do you wanna play.

Let me tell you, I was in jiu-jitsu, and we had a group picture, and I was the only guy that wasn't ripped... that was so embarrasing that I decided that having a little pudge just wasn't me... it didn't reflect who I am as a person, so I fixed it... and continue to work on it.

Good luck.

PS The atkins diet is horrible... eat all the meat you can and try to convince yourself that your healthy... atkins people stink, also, Dr. Atkins recently died of some sort of heart attack/failure whatever.

 

[Big-J]

IMO The Akins diet is something only for short term.

Get down to X weight (while working out) then rechange your eating habits so you don't eat a dumptruck of food as you get off it maybe increasing cardio/workout intensity.

I'd never wanna be on that F*ckin' diet for any extended period of time.

You may wanna check around for keto diets as well.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Don't expect to be pulling ass if you are fat, easy as that. Workout and lose it, then you'll see!

 

[DjDreamer]

Devestatore, EXERCISE is the solution to your weight problem and the prequiste to persistant exercise is you being CONFIDENT with the idea of you becomming slimmer...you need to create a passion for exercise just like how you have a passion with eating...now since you are self conscious about your body weight, don't bulk up...cut down the pounds...check out the health and fitness forum...

 

[MysteryWoman]

Originally posted by Devestator
Hi. I've noticed a trend on this board about the great disadvantages fat guys have in getting women. Some go as far as saying that being fat negates all game and other qualities the man might have.

I want some fat guys to challenge this notion cause I'm fat myself. I realize that I am responsible for being fat and should change it, but that could take months and I want girls now! I've seen it done - I see fat guys with hot girls occasionally. And if Real Man wasn't lying, he's an example right on these boards. I want to know how they did it. My questions:











- What is the source of your confidence if you have a less than optimal body?

Unless you are rich it is very hard. Make life easier for yourself and lose the weight. Being fat can shorten your life span.

- How do you convey that you are attractive despite being fat?

By choosing very insecure girls who think they are only worthy of a fat guy and by dating only fat girls. DO you really want that?

- Why do girls like you more than the thinner or more cut guys
they have to choose from?

Well we are not much different to men her. Slimmer men are basically healthier and are more active. It is embarrassing to date a guy with anti social eating habits

I recommend the Rosemary Connely diet, eat whatever you like as long as it is not over 4g fat per 100g (I try to live by this rule), but you can have one high fat snack per day. Try not consumme over 2500 calories a day, and if you want to lose weight stick to 2000. Also go the gym and aim to work out three times a week doing at least one hour sessions each time




























That's all. Gotta go.

 

[Jay Fiedler]

Just thought I'd share this. Was talking to a power lifter and he basically said what I've found to be true in real life. For every 10 pounds you lose in weight transforms to about a 20 pound loss in bench press weight your able to lift. I went on a cutting diet and found I went from benching 225 10 times to about 185 ten times each set. I weighed about 205 before, now 185. So, while I do look cut and trim, I am unable to bench as much. No big loss, just thought I'd share.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary
...
PS The atkins diet is horrible... eat all the meat you can and try to convince yourself that your healthy... atkins people stink, also, Dr. Atkins recently died of some sort of heart attack/failure whatever.

The diet does NOT tell you to eat all the meat that you want. It tells people that eating more protein than refined carbohydrates and sugars is will help you loose weight. Proteins include dairy foods, poultry, nuts, fish in addition to red meat (which they say should NOT be the sole source of protein). Acceptable carbs included whole grains, brown rice. Basically, non-refined flours or sugars.

The people who seem to smell bad are the people going through the first two week cycle of eating little or no carbohydrates. This puts the body into a cycle called ketosis.

Unfortunately, people who's diet was primarily bad carbohydrates and sugars would have a bad scent to their breath during this period. Basically, it's the smell of the burning off of much of the bad toxins that they ingested while eating an abundance of refined carbohydrates. After the two week period, their bodies go into a healthy stage of processing healthier foods that have less toxins and no scent.

Also, check your sources about what caused Dr. Atkins death. The Wall Street Journal article was based on incomplete and inaccurate personal medical information that was released in violation of federal law. Furthermore, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM), which, despite its name is a group of animal rights activists, illegally delivered these documents to the newspaper.

The Journal reported that Dr. Atkins weighed 258 pounds at the time of his death, making him obese. In fact, the day after his fall, Dr. Atkins' weight was recorded at 195 pounds, 63 pounds less than reported at his death! Based on the body mass index (BMI), a desirable range for people over the age of 65, is 24 to 29. At a height of 6 feet, Dr. Atkins’ BMI was 26.4, putting him squarely in the normal range for his age.