Fart Fetish???

DJ Logic

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OK guys I know this sounds really juvenile and trollish but I swear this just happened.

Met this girl a few weeks ago. She's studying law and comes from a good Christian family. We been out on a few dates and fooled around and everything is sweet. Since she is "saved" she will let me do anything to her except vaginal penetration. After a lot of persistence and foreplay I finally got her to have anal sex, which was fun (if not somewhat hypocritical).

That's not the freaky part though. We are all finished up and I'm smoking a stogie and she turns red and says she has to ask me to do something that will turn her on. She wanted me to huff her farts! :eek:

At first I laughed it off but she insisted that she had a live one and really wanted me to spread her cheeks and take a deep whiff. Of course I refused, still not convinced she was being serious, until she let a loud one rip! Holy Baby Jesus on a Sh-t Stick - that was by far the most putrid smell I've ever experienced coming off a woman. I almost hurled!

She got real embarrassed, threw on her clothes and ran off. I sat here puzzled, wondering two things

1 - Why do I attract these weird freaky btches?

2 - Did that really just happen? Are people really into this?

All it took was a google search for "Fart fetish" to confirm that yes, this is a real turn on for some. I'm in a state of shock right now but cant help laughing my ass off and sharing this weird experience. Anyone else out there deal with, or even heard of a fart fetish? Even though it just happened I still cant believe it
 

KarmaSutra

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Howard Stern had a contest where he wanted to find the most devoted wife/girlfriend.

A few chicks called in, it was evident Howard was getting bored and was about to go on to the next sketch. He took one more call and it was a woman from Kentucky.

"Howard, I am the best wife ANY man could ever hope for."

"Oh really? Why don't you let us decide that."

"Every morning 30 minutes before my husband wakes up, I get up and make his lunch. I make his coffee, lay out his suit for work, then I go back and wake him with a perfect bl0wjob."

"That's nice but I dunno if it's nothing other wives don't do?" Before Howard could get anything else out-

"That's not what makes me different. When he's about to get off, I put my mouth over his ass and inhale his fart."

A collective, "WHAAAAAAAAAAT!" , was the response from Howard and the rest.

"I sure do, then I blow his fart back into his face. It's what he enjoys and there's no limit to what I'll do to keep my Husband happy."

She won a new set of t!ts.

Unanimously.

My ex-girlfriend used to fart in her sleep. It was funny.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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This is why the terrorists hate us.
 

KarmaSutra

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I thought it was because we use cutlery, use our hand for other uses than wiping our asses, and we have domesticated pets.

Those savages call them wives.
 

Mr.Positive

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Well I'll be damned...

I thought I'd seen a lot, or at least heard it all, but I've never heard of anything like this!

Uncharted waters, for sure. :crackup:

That is one funny, and quite puzzling, experience. I wouldn't know what to think either.

Are you going to see this gal again?
 

Julius_Seizeher

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You should've pulled an Ace Ventura with those buttcheeks, let her run out the door freaked-out instead of embarrassed.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

AAAgent

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I've done a lot of stupid and retarded things to girls including farting bare ass in my ex's face.

Also when massaging her with lotion i kept getting the lotion inbetween her buttcheeks and squeezing them together. They would make very loud squishy/squeeking noises.

After the fart incident she immediately attacked me and i just kept running from her and the lotion incident she did it back to me. Lotion inbetween the cheeks is REALLY uncomfortable.
 

EA Gold

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Just because she is religious has a good family doesn't mean anything.

Matthew 7:22-23

22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?


23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.


I'm not judging, just a messenger.
 

DJ Logic

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Wow she just poked me on Facebook. This is the highest interest level I've ever seen. You usually dont come back from a botched fart fetish attempt. This girl is ridiculously hot and the sex was amazing, but I don't think I can holler at her. I feel like a line has been crossed. An invisible, gaseous, smelly line.

@Karma, holy sh-t that is gross. Thanks for the mental picture, that ones gonna be in my head all day now.
 

Powerlifter

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Funny! I actually know a friend of mine and his wife has a fart fetish says he has to fart his way into bed with her in order for her to get turned on.

Yes as crazy as it sounds it is true.

Powerlifter
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Poonani Maker

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I like when a woman contracts and expands her as5hole for me to see in 69 and doggie, it's beautiful, but she must never fart or pi2s while doing that :nono:
 

Marvin Gaye

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Negative thoughts down the drain just relax, let t
DJ Logic said:
Wow she just poked me on Facebook. This is the highest interest level I've ever seen. You usually dont come back from a botched fart fetish attempt. This girl is ridiculously hot and the sex was amazing, but I don't think I can holler at her. I feel like a line has been crossed. An invisible, gaseous, smelly line..
Pics? :cool:

I want to see what a fart-lover looks like, so maybe I can scope em' out and learn to avoid them.
 

( . )( . )

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Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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