@SW15 , I can see what you mean. I worked that job for 6 months and I still have emotional trauma from it. The most hilarious thing is when I watched the boiler room, I saw that my ex boss basically copied Afflec’s character lol.
I consider myself an 8, but I’m also black so I know it’s either a homerun or complete strikeout with women. Cold Approaching would be a complete fail for me and destroy my confidence. It grew up in TN and suffered low confidence until I moved out of there. On paper, I was an 8, but to the women around me I was a 1 lol. I remember my frat brother hooked me up with this sorority Latina chick for a date party. I was immediately concerned(the white washed brown girls in sororities are a lot more racist to compensate for not being white lol) and asked him does she know that I’m black and he was like no and that doesn’t matter. Guess what, she decided to go with some ugly goofy white guy in my fraternity instead of me after she found out I was black. Fast forward a year, our campus gets snow and everyone is at the bars celebrating. This same girl tries flirting with me and throws a snowball at me lol. IDK if she remembered me but I for sure remembered her and told her I had a gf lmao.
My only other option was to approach women at black friendly venues, but I was not about that and I do not like ghetto white women at all. The apps have been better for me because the girl I matched with knows I’m black and that eliminates that barrier.
Dang bro, that freaking hit deep dude. Yo man, as someone on here who considers you one of his top 3 favorite users, I have had the chance to see your posts and I think you are carrying a lot of baggage. However, I can relate to the part about ethnic girls in sororities. The most racist girl I ever knew was a token Asian girl at a sorority. What I think is happening is that no matter what you do, you are tied right back to that old fraternity environment. In a way, I was tied back to it too.
While I was in a frat, I was in a more above average one. You know how things go in the SEC, it's either top 3 (KA, SEC, and usually Chi Phi) or bust. Well, no way me or most guys were going to get into those top 3 SEC frats. I think what is happening here is that a lot of that is still with you dude and I felt the way you did too for quite some time.
What changed it for me was moving to a world class city like NYC, making friends with people across the world and those not from the south, and then seeing how insignificant it all is. Now, I cannot even stand the same Old Row frat guys I wanted validation from in my college days and early 20s. I usually try to avoid them and find that most of them live very boring lives and act judgmental as a result. Majority of them had it handed to them due to rich dads and cannot figure out life after college.
Cold approach for me has been a freedom activity really. It is what drives me to get out there. To know that I am not tied down to any circle or any clique and if I want, I can have the woman of my dreams about 5 to 10% of the times. Yeah it is low percentage but it sets me free and lets me determine the what in my life and who comes in. Overtime, it all does add up and slowly starts to add to your success. Most frat guys I know are still having to rely on social circles and getting to be depressed alcoholics when they cannot find a woman.
Right now, you are not in a state mentally to go at cold approach. However, I do think that you need to distance yourself mentally and emotionally from the world you knew in college. A shrink could help but I think getting away from a southern city and to a more international one can do wonders.
If I had not moved to NYC, I would have still thought the world revolves around those Bubbas lol.
