Falling for GF’s best friend

[Jariel]

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a month (she started as one of 7 women I was dating before we became exclusive), she’s hot, nice body, and things are good, but I’m not really feeling any emotional connection. However, her best friend and I have been spending time together, tickling, playfighting and while drunk, we kissed. She excused it as a drunk mistake and we both agreed to forget it happened, but the truth is I haven’t stopped thinking about her. She is so affectionate, fun, smart, innocent and exactly what I look for in a woman. She came round my house earlier tonight and we ended up falling asleep snuggled up together on the couch. I realised then that I really want to be with her despite any backlash.

We’re both in the wrong and I know that, but a girl like this and the feelings I have for her are so rare I would be spiting myself if I didn’t seize this opportunity. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t some helpless AFC oneitis; I’m 95% sure she feels the same and if anything, I feel so naturally confident and comfortable with her.

However, I’m faced with two problems. First, getting this girl to break her loyalties to her best friend/my girlfriend and secondly, actually breaking up with my girlfriend and either telling her why or keeping it a big secret. To be honest, I don’t think she’d be heart broken by me breaking up with her, but her pride is sure to be wounded and the betrayal of me and her friend will be pretty lousy.

Anyone dealt with this before and got any advice to share?

 

[Sexual]

Regardless of your current situation with her friend, I suggest you break things off with your girl immediantly.

One: Would you want her to be doing this to you with a good friend of your's while you were still together? Two: What if she catches you two together or her best friend fesses up her actions?

Just do it as an act of respect towards women and being a man of your word, considering you made a promise to her.

You're in an bad situation which you're not going to walk out of happy with what you decide.

You'll either go the selfish route and destroy their friendship (which has lasted how long??) and maybe be happier, or you can let them have their happiness together and stay or not stay with your girl.

Just remember: you'll now have a good friend and keep your girlfriend if you break your fling with the best friend right now.

 

[[DoN.2.Da.JUaN]]

ummm...come on dude

bros before hoez

buds before studs

she should know better than to backstab her best friend and you should know better than to do that to your girlfriend

if i were you i wouldn't do it.

 

[mattathensga]

Don't touch the friend... at this point... I'd find some acceptable way to end it on GOOD terms with your girl, that way you stay as friends, and then you MIGHT have a chance with her friend... that probably WILL NEVER happen though. It all depends on how good of friends they are. she wouldn't even date you for a WHILE after you two broke up, just not to hurt her friend. good luck, and be glad with what you got bro, it could work out to your favor... the longer you are seen as a GOOD boyfriend with your GF the more you have a chance of showing this to her friend...

 

[quest]

jariel. You're a fool.

She's going to your house for a reason.
of course she wants you.

now you've got to question why she wants you?

you want her for a relationship, because your a b*tch.

she wants you for an ego boost, with the ever going battle of "am i better then my best friend?"

once she gets that boost, she's done with you.

you gave up 7 girls to be exclusive with a girl that you don't even really want.

-moron or lier.

we'll take moron, on the assumption that no one here actually lies.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by quest
jariel. You're a fool.

She's going to your house for a reason.
of course she wants you.

now you've got to question why she wants you?

you want her for a relationship, because your a b*tch.

she wants you for an ego boost, with the ever going battle of "am i better then my best friend?"

once she gets that boost, she's done with you.

you gave up 7 girls to be exclusive with a girl that you don't even really want.

-moron or lier.

we'll take moron, on the assumption that no one here actually lies.

Uh! That's interesting. Once I was kissing a girl then later her friend came around and showed her interest in me. So I kissed her too. However, she kept asking why I was kissing her friend instead of her. It sounded like a "cat's competition". Either way I got them both! As you said, maybe it was just competition and not a real interest in me. A similar case of Jariel.

About Jariel, you are right. He "selected" 1 among 7 girls and later he decides that he doesn't like her anymore?

If you've paid attention, Jariel said "my girl is hot and she has a nice body". So we may conclude that his decision was merely shallow, uh?

 

[Alphathree]

I've been in this exact situation before and I went for it.

The best friend dumped me a week later, evidently she only wanted me because her best friend wanted me.

I know it seems like you're just inches away from getting her, but really, you're miles and miles away. It'd be easier to PU a random girl on the street. (UNLESS they're not really best friends like you say they are.)

 

[HalfAddict]

drop your girl softly

never mess with her friend..

lose contact

 

[Jariel]

I appreciate the responses and agree it's all very wrong, and will backfire on me.

My relationship with my girlfriend is kind of shallow, but more on her side than mine. I decided to become exclusive with her because I did see her as LTR material, but it's turning out that she's not particularly warm and affectionate. This is something I crave in relationships (and why the multiple/casual dating didn't work for me) and I've been getting that from her friend.

(incidentally - why are affectionate women so hard to find?)

I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I have fallen quite deeply for her. I really don't want to believe she could be chasing an ego boost, but I know it could be true and I'll get dumped.

Either way, I am going to break up with my girlfriend very soon. Not sure what to do about her friend though.

 

[joekerr31]

lets get this right..

- this chic is best friends with your gf, who is a fairly emotionalless woman (if this girl is so caring, why is her best friend someoen who isn't caring herself?)
- this girl is "innocent" but is macking on her best friends girl? come on dude.

chics around your age are drama queens. they are very ego-based and want what their peers have (and more).

this girl likes you and probably doesn't even realize psychologically why she does. but you watch, the moment you break it off with your gf and the two of you go from the excitment of the "we're being so bad being together" it will fall apart.

part of what makes it exciting right now is that you aren't suppose to be doing it - it makes every moment more intense. but the moment you're both free to build a relationship, trust me, you'll wonder what you ever saw in each other.

all chics are sensitive, but only with certain guys. if a chic isn't showing you her emotions it means you're just a temporary boyfriend - a guy to have around to pass the time with until "mr. right" comes along.

it sounds like you and your gf are done, its just a matter of either you or her ending it. If you accept that is the case then i suggest you resolve the situation this way....

have the three of you spend a night watching movies and drinking a little.
when the inhibitions get low enough suggest a 3 some, get both of them into the bedroom and see what happens.

your gf is bored with you, this may get her interested again.
the friend has no morals to be macking on you while you are with her best friend, so probably would be up for a 3 some.

may as well try for something interesting before this whole thing falls apart.

if they call you a pig and tell you to leave, oh well, who cares, it was goign to end eventually anyways.

J

 

[Jariel]

joekerr31: you are probably right about the risk being part of the excitement, for me as much as her. Although I know she fancied me before I got with my girlfriend and was upset when I got with her and if I'm totally honest, I believe I chose the wrong girl to begin with.

Physically things are cool with my gf and me, and I have to say that none of us are the 3 some type (my gf only had sex with one guy before me and her friend is a virgin). It's more the emotional connection that is lacking to and from my girlfriend and I'd say we are just incompatible.

 

[DJ4Real]

Your in a knot that is going to kick you right in the butt every way you "try" to fix it. Don't break it off with your girl just yet. Think about it like this, if you break it off with your girl and then instantly go for her bestfriend, you have a way higher chance of being rejected.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

you lose either way. you no longer feel attracted to your girl, so thats a timebomb wating to go off. and this girls best friend is attracted to you because your off limits. she gets to flirt with her best friends bf, she is living a soap opera. Every girls dream to be at the center of such drama (at least the attention wh00rish ones, not the good ones.) As soon as you drop your gf, you become available. Challenge gone, interest gone.


Good luck with this one, dont expect a happy ending.

 

[TedJustAdmitIt]

You might wanna re-examine how you screen women.

Out of 7 available females you chose the one who you don't have a connection with?

Whatever happens,good luck.

 

[ikkenai]

Bang the friend behind your GF's back. It's that simple. Why all this strategy? Just do what you want man.

 

[Jariel]

I just want to give some credit where it's due.

To those who said this girl would lose interest once I left my girlfriend were right on the money! In fact, I lost interest in her myself once I left my girlfriend. It was just an excitement-of-getting-caught type situation afterall.

I left my girlfriend yesterday, went on the first official date with her best friend this evening, and at the end we both agreed it didn't work. It was just like being out as friends.