Fair to reject women who didn't give you the time of the day in the past?

[Jitterbug]

Women are good at acting mature & nice when their looks are gone.

Some guys prefer taking the high way, but personally I think giving them a verbal dropkick is fun and fair.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'm new here, and ferociously studying the djb, but I'd like to add an observation (obviously prematurely as I'm so new).

I've noticed that in our society that women have almost no accountability at all, and it pisses me off to no end.

Isn't it up to us more enlightened men (not that I'm in your ranks yet) to start to set an example and HOLD them accountable? What would society be like if we actually called them on their sh!t and let them know that we are going to see to it that they pay the consequences for their actions?

I understand the concept of not letting her see any emotion or caring at all, but it seems to me that this will only perpetuate the problem of women thinking they have no accountability. They think they don't specifically because no one ever actually holds them accountable. I am ready to be corrected in my thinking, as I am only a student here so far (I can smell the flames kindling now), but I'm asking this because I have future generations in mind.

 

[jophil28]

I understand the concept of not letting her see any emotion or caring at all, but it seems to me that this will only perpetuate the problem of women thinking they have no accountability. They think they don't specifically because no one ever actually holds them accountable. I am ready to be corrected in my thinking, as I am only a student here so far (I can smell the flames kindling now), but I'm asking this because I have future generations in mind.

You make a great point and one which is frequently debated here.
The consensus view here(with a few dissentions) is that we men can send the most powerful message to a woman who is behaving badly by silently withdrawing our attention and affection. Just walking away.

Your post suggests that we should try to hold women accountable, in the first instance, by expressing our grievances VERBALLY. THis is a reasonable approach (on the surface) until you consider two problems with this approach.

1. That the majority of women feel entitled to 'be right' universally - summed up as , " I am never wrong "..THis seems to be a deeply held belief, at least in every woman with whom I have had a relationship. They cannot ( or will not ) make the obvious correlation between their actions and the painful consequences which frequently follow. Much easier to just blame the guy for every tiny problem, or piece of misfortune that comes their way.

THis is their entrenched belief in their infalliblity which emerges as entitlement and self righteousness to the nth degree.

2. The "lets talk about this problem" approach, when initiated by a guy, usually relies on him trying to "reason" with her. THis is how men problem-solve, with reason and deductive logic. Unfortunately women place no value on reason in interpersonal difficulties prefering to resort to juvenile tactics of emotional mind games or manipulations via crying, sulking, pouting, and that old favorite - blame shifting back onto the man.
Women do NOT want resolution UNLESS it comes gift wrapped and sugar coated without the tiniest hint that she contributed to the difficulty in the first place.

Women want problems to be OWNED by others- preferably YOU. THey do not want to be burdened by accountability and ownership - instead she thinks that because she spreads her legs occasionally, IN her mind, then her contribution is complete...that pays for her share of the freight.

THey feel entitled to a problem free life in which HE takes care of things and smoothes out all the lumps. She in return, seeks a life in which she busies herself by taking her poodle to the vet, writting birthday cards out for every person whom she has met in the past 20 years, going to the female only gym and then on to the salon for the twice weekly 'treatment.'

Question - How many of you divorced guys can ever remember "talking it out "with your ex to a mutually satifactory solution.
HOw many of you have lingering admiration for your ex because she really listened to your grievances and gave YOUR concerns as much value as her own. ?

 

[#41]

I don't see the point in making a confrontational issue out of it -- a simple "thanks, but I'd rather not" is more than enough.

Hell, even if your GOAL was to hurt her for what she'd done in the past, a simple rejection does that far more effectively than detailing her past transgressions. With the latter, she can just write you off as a bitter, neurotic d-bag who hasn't gotten over things that happened years ago and go about her business. With the former, she has to wonder why it was you don't find her attractive or desirable and/or come further to grips with the fact that guys like you (who she likely thought she could call at a moments notice and receive attention and adulation) no longer will dance to the strings she pulls.

But, I digress...

To answer the OP's question -- I'd never reject anyone out of hand just because of them not giving me the time of day in the past. But, having said that, I won't raise a finger to chase tail that already gave me a "thanks, but no thanks" response once. If she has a change of heart, she'll have to do the work to convince ME that she's worth pursuing.